Author's Note: Just a short one-shot about how Remus decided to come to his senses after meeting with Dumbledore.
All walls crumble. All men reach their breaking point. Remus Lupin had just reached his. He was tired of the same old excuses. Tired of saying he was too old, too poor, and too dangerous. Well, maybe a little dangerous, but nothing extreme. He knew that he was shy of forty, so he couldn't be that old, though the gap between his age and the age of his lover was quite considerable. He knew there was gold in Gringotts saved up should he need it. He knew that the Wolfsbane potion dulled the worst affects of the transformation he had to endure every full moon. But now, he was at his breaking point.
Remus hesitantly walked into the office of his old Headmaster. Albus Dumbledore sat at his desk, greeting him with a smile. All around the room, various magical devices whirred and clicked and floated on their axes. Remus smiled, admiring the collection, then took a seat in front of the Headmaster's desk.
"You wanted to see me, Remus?"
Remus sighed. This was the hard part. His excuses had become as tiresome to say as they were for Nymphadora to hear. Finally, he swallowed and spoke, his voice cracking slightly. "Y-Yes, sir."
He looked into Dumbledore's piercing blue eyes, and saw his lips curve into the familiar knowing smile. "Remus, there is no need to make up a story as to why you've come to see me. I know something is on your mind, and it's best to tell the truth. Otherwise, we could sit here until we're old, well in my case older, men. Please, for both our sakes."
Remus returned the smile, silently cursing to himself, which made the Headmaster's eyes only twinkle more. "Erm- right. I'm sure you can see… Well, everyone can see, really… It's just about… She's… I just don't want-,"
Dumbledore interrupted him with his usual soothing voice, though more serious than playful this time. "Yes, I am aware of the budding relationship between you and Miss Tonks. I can't speak on behalf of the entire Order, of course, but my belief is that a little bit of love in such a trying time can cure even the most broken of hearts."
Remus nodded thoughtfully. "It's not that I don't love her. She's heard the excuses. Too old, too poor, too dangerous. She knows I'm only using them as an excuse."
"We all know you're using them as an excuse," Dumbledore affirmed.
"Well- yes. Uhm… I'm quite smitten with her, Sir. I just feel that… Well, I feel that I don't have the right to be happy. My ailment is looked down upon quite thoroughly in the Wizarding World. I suppose the reason I push her away is because I don't desire the true happiness I feel when around her."
Dumbledore nodded and pinched his index fingers against his long, crooked nose. He took a deep breath, turning his gaze to the haggard wizard before him. He spoke calmly but firmly.
"Remus, we have all been in this boat at one time in our lives. But where is the Gryffindor that so stood up for his friends during countless detentions? Where is the wizard that so accepted his friend Sirius after learning of his innocence?"
Remus sighed and buried his face in his hands. "I just want to be able to love her, but I am a monster," he sighed.
"And that's where you're wrong," Dumbledore said firmly. "You are a man, not a monster. What happens to you at the full moon is a condition that inconveniences your life. The reason it defines your life is because you choose to let it."
Remus looked up, his eyes glinting in angry denial. "I would love to be-,"
"I'm not finished, Remus," Dumbledore said coolly. "Now, I believe this fear of yourself has gone on long enough. Miss Tonks is a fully trained Auror that has, through the kindness of her heart, taken to lessons with Severus so that she may brew a Wolfsbane potion for you. She's doing this out of love, Remus."
"You mean she… She wanted to help me?"
"No, Remus," Dumbledore smiled gently. "She still wants to help you. I admit to you that I am an old man that has seen many loves walk out of his life, but love is at your doorstep, waiting to be let in."
Remus sighed. "Yes, I suppose you're right. So you would be okay with it?"
Dumbledore smiled again. "I have no business saying either way, as it is your lives. But as a member of our Order, I have no qualms about it. As I said, a touch of love may help."
Remus nodded and stood. "Thank you, Sir."
Dumbledore smiled. "It was nothing at all."
Remus turned and began walking to the door, his brain now wracked with an entirely new problem – how to tell Nymphadora about his feelings for her.
"Remus?" Dumbledore called out to him before he reached the door, causing him to turn.
"Yes?"
"I believe you'll be able to find Miss Tonks walking toward the Entrance Hall within the next minute or so."
Remus chuckled. "Thank you, Sir."
With a new sense of confidence, he made his way down the stairs. He wasn't sure exactly what he was going to do or say, but he knew that Nymphadora would be pleasantly surprised.
Postscript: Meh, I'm not really pleased with this. It didn't turn out the way I'd hoped, but I was already about 400 words in, so I didn't want to lose everything. Just decided to post here in case it struck anyone's fancy. I'm just sick of Remus's excuses, and wanted him to finally man up and get rid of his insecurities, even if it meant he needed some help.
