Title: The Lupent
Author: Regal Baring (previously S.Malfoy)
Disclaimer: I don't own, JKR does (which incidentally means no profit for me), I just twist them for my wonderful, evil pleasure.
Pairing: HP/SS, HP/RL
Warning: AU, Explicit slash, homoerotic content between two men
Chapter 1 Sweet 16
Harry watched the moonlight flutter weakly through his window from where he lay silent and still on the thin, lumpy mattress that barely supported his weight. It's only a few minutes till my birthday…I killed a man before my sixteenth birthday, Harry thought drowsily while he let his fingers tangle in the sheet twisted around his hips. I killed my godfather before my sixteenth birthday.
He couldn't even dredge up anger. The only emotions that seemed to penetrate the wall his mind had built up was grief and anger; a decapitating, non-diminishing grief and uncontrollable bursts of fury.
I wonder if next year I'll manage to kill the Dursley's before my seventeenth birthday. Then I can live on my own, or perhaps Dumbledore can find me a nice bridge I can hide under for the rest of my life.
Harry lazily watched the small, white alarm clock arm tick its way around the dial, and with a snick that tolled the doom of the world, his sixteenth birthday was one minute closer to commencement. It was 11:59, only one more minute till he turned sixteen…
Snick. It was midnight.
He liked to imagine Sirius was laughing madly at the ironic sense of humor Fate had. It wasn't Voldemort that killed him, or even Bellatrix Lestrange for that matter. It was his own damn godson that might as well have fired the curse that had sent him stumbling to his death.
"Stupid boy," Harry mumbled to himself. "I think I'm going mad."
"It would seem so," came the silky voice from the boxy frame of his doorway. Harry didn't bother to look away from his alarm clock.
"Only a few seconds too late, Snape," Harry muttered. "As usual, you didn't quite make it."
"Quiet, Potter. Where are your things?" Snape asked before whispering lumos to illuminate the darkness.
"You're not even out of bed, Potter! Didn't you get the blasted note the Headmaster sent you?" Snape snipped as he took in the total disarray of the room. Harry's aunt hadn't bothered coming in to clean since the beginning of the summer.
"Yeah, it's over there somewhere," Harry said as he motioned with his free hand, pointing towards the cluttered desk against the wall.
"I see. And as usual you, with total disregard for others, chose not to pack any of your belongings," Snape sneered.
"I didn't really feel like it," Harry said, still watching the glass face of the clock dispassionately. His glasses reflected the time, eerily distorting the color of his eyes and making them appear more like floating numbers and dials.
"Well, get up now, you imbecile!" Snape snarled, waving his wand to gather Harry's belongings and shove them with little regard into his trunk.
"I don't really feel like going," Harry said, finally turning his gaze toward the Potions master. Snape glared at him, and to Harry it looked like he was fighting the urge to reach out with both hands and shake him for his stupidity.
"I don't give a damn whether you feel like going or not, you will go because it is Headmaster Dumbledore's orders," he replied as calmly as he could – which wasn't much.
"I don't much feel up to the trip. I think I'll just stay here the rest of the summer," Harry said carelessly, turning to look back at his clock.
"Since when have you ever wanted to stay in this Muggle home?" Snape asked suspiciously.
"I'm not too sure. Never, I would guess," Harry answered lightly. It struck him as funny that he was telling the truth and a snort escaped.
"Get up. We are leaving, and I don't have time to waste standing here waiting around for a stupid boy with no thoughts spared but for himself," Snape ordered, his wand clutched in his hand and it quivered eagerly, prepared for action.
"I guess," Harry said monotonously, finally garnering the energy to slip from his bed. He had forgone wearing the ragged clothing the Dursley's handed down to him in favor of sleeping nude. He ignored Snape's glare, grabbing his extra large trousers and sliding them over his thin hips (forgoing his Dudley-used boxers), before casually slipping on a white t-shirt that had seen better days. He didn't care to search for socks, and instead just shoved his feet into a pair of trainers that had been duct-taped to keep the soles from falling off, and turned to look expectantly at the looming professor.
"Ready," he said. He just stared at the tall professor, blinking tiredly.
"Are you really, Potter?" Snape murmured, moving on silent feet to stand before Harry, towering over the boy who, while he was having a definite growth spurt, was still too short for his age. "I figured that the great Harry Potter thought himself too good to follow the orders of anyone."
"I can follow orders," Harry said, his face tilted upwards in what would have been a guileless gesture had it not been for the dim fire in his eyes.
"You are a follower, Potter, a mere sheep among the wolves. You have no idea of the real world," Snape whispered, staring down at the boy in obvious disgust.
"I am not a sheep!" Harry protested violently, stepping away from Snape with a twisted frown.
Snape merely raised an eyebrow before he turned his back on the boy, cast a locomotor charm on the boy's trunk, and coldly left the room.
While Harry followed the professor and his trunk, he cast a desperate glance at the door that zealously guarded the sleeping Dursley's. He wanted his Uncle to rage and stampede out the door like the furious bull that he could be, spitting obscenities about his kind, his freakish nature, his weirdness, and the queer attitude that all wizards shared. He wanted to see that cold rage fill Snape's dark eyes when a Muggle deigned to insult him, a potions master, and direct his loathing of him towards a new victim, Vernon Dursley. But the bull was asleep, unaware of the red flag waving before its closed eyes.
I hate them so much. I wish they had died instead of Sirius, he thought, lowering his eyes towards the stairs he began to descend.
"You need to get over Black, Potter. He was not worth any feeling, and this pity you are wallowing in is a danger to us all," Snape said, speaking to himself as much to Harry while they descended the stairs stealthily, and Harry wondered how the man had known what he had been thinking.
"I suppose, professor," Harry agreed without much expression, biting his tongue so hard that he could taste the metallic sting of blood.
"You will drive yourself mad, Potter," Snape said quietly, without looking behind him to see if Harry was listening.
Harry didn't bother to respond, knowing the man hadn't expected an answer anyways. He could only grit his teeth; Sirius was worth more than ten of Snape, no matter what anyone else thought. He wanted to aim his wand directly at Snape's back and fire off curse after curse, to rage and rail against the man he considered at least partly responsible. He swallowed harshly, trying to keep his voice from emerging in the scream he could feel pushing at his tongue.
Snape strode over to the fireplace, removing the gate and checking his pocket watch. With a muttered spell, the small fireplace enlarged into a human sized Floo portal. His nostrils flared in distaste as he handed over a packet of Floo powder to Harry.
"Hurry up, go to Number 12 Grimmauld Place," Snape instructed brusquely.
Harry nodded, opening the packet to pour out the powder into his palm, throwing it into the fire with a rough "Number 12 Grimmauld Place", his voice catching for a moment as he stepped into the green flames.
Snape sighed at the tragic inconvenience pledging his loyalty to Albus Dumbledore was proving to be if he was being designated to playing nursemaid to a Potter.
With a roar of green flames that immediately disappeared after he stepped inside the fireplace, and the fireplace shrunk back it its original size, there was no trace of the two wizards that had disappeared from the house.
Harry appeared in the living room of the House of Black, stumbling from the fireplace and landing inelegantly on his knees with a rough tumble. He winced at the sting, but shakily got to his feet when he heard Snape make his own impeccable entrance.
"The Headmaster is waiting for you in the kitchen, boy. Go." Without another word, he turned sharply on his heel and left the house with an impressive swirl of his robes.
With an expression of dread, he entered to find the old Headmaster with his head bowed over his cup of tea, discontent written in the worry lines etched on his face.
"Professor," Harry whispered, waiting till he was bid to take a seat.
"Harry…Happy Birthday, my boy," Dumbledore said, trying – and failing- to make his voice cheery.
"I suppose it is," Harry said, shrugging, watching the old man carefully. He wondered why he had been taken from the Dursley's early; he usually had to wait until it was two weeks before the semester started before he was allowed anywhere. But, he realized sourly, he should have known this year it would be different.
"You are probably wondering why you were brought here early, Harry," Dumbledore said gently, looking as if he wanted to reach out to pat Harry's hand in comfort, but thought better of the motion. Harry was glad; he was afraid he would have snapped the man's hand into pieces if he had touched him. He wondered briefly if Dumbledore could see the desire in his eyes.
Harry nodded belated agreement of the Headmaster's observation.
"You were brought here because it is your birthday, Harry. And something very special is going to be happening today."
Harry raised an eyebrow, curious but trying to remain distant. His teeth were starting to ache from being clenched.
"Your father had to go through the same thing on his sixteenth birthday, as well as his father. It's been passed down to all the males of the Potter line, and it has been passed down to you as well Harry."
Harry stared back uncomprehendingly.
"Harry," Dumbledore sighed, "I know that this is a very stressful time for you right now, but you must listen to me. Through your bloodline, for many generations, there is a transformation of genes in the males in which their sixteenth birthday is the catalyst. We have tried to conduct research on the phenomenon, especially with the help of your father, but have never quite figured out why is has occurred only in the Potter line. But now, it is probably not as bad as I make it seem either," he reassured with a small chuckle.
Harry yawned.
"Mr. Potter," Dumbledore said sharply, "pay attention."
Harry nodded obediently.
"Mr. Potter, in the morning, you will transform at dawn into an animal called the Lupent."
Harry stared at him intently, before he asked slowly, "And what, exactly, is a Lupent?" He tried to take a calming breath, tried to tell himself it surely couldn't be as bad as it sounds. He wasn't turning into an animal; he wasn't, he really wasn't. This couldn't be happening.
Dumbledore snapped his fingers, and a thick, dusty tome appeared before him on the table. Coughing quietly, he opened the book carefully to the correct page before turning it around to face Harry. He leaned forward to take a look, his eyes narrowed, glaring at the page as if it were the cause of all his problems.
It was a drawing of a type of panther and wolf mixture: it had a pure white, thinly furred body except for the auburn colored fur socks, thickly furred tail, and pointed ears. Its long, sleekly curved body was similar to a panther, but had the thick tail and head shape of a wolf. It had thick muscles for pouncing if the legs and shoulders if the crouched figure was anything to go by, but the blunt muzzle was a distinct contrast to the slanted eyes. Harry squinted, trying to see what color the eyes were but it was blurred and wasn't colored well.
"It's beautiful," Harry whispered, tracing a finger along the delicate drawing. "But please don't tell me that this is true. I can't be turning into an animal. Please, don't say it," he pleaded, his eyes a cross between disbelief and a rising anger.
"It's a predator," Dumbledore answered softly. "It's beautiful, and it intelligent. It has the senses of a wolf, the strength of a panther. Its mind is strong willed, and unlike the Wolfsbane potion that Professor Snape is working on, there can be no potion for you."
"So I am to be a killer forever?" Harry asked angrily, rising to his feet with his fists clenched. The cups on the table began to rattle and shake ominously, but with a wave of his hand Dumbledore had it under control. "Are you saying I'll never be human again? Did you bring me here to kill me? How in the hell did this happen? Why wasn't I told of this before now? Where-"
Dumbledore raised a hand for silence, abruptly ending Harry's tirade before it begain. "No, Harry, I am not going to kill you. I brought you here to keep you safe. Your transformation will be at dawn during the time of the new moon. You will return to your human state when the sun begins to fall, and the moon is visible."
"Its not a new moon tonight," Harry said hopefully when he looked out the window. He got up to pace around the kitchen, his eyes glinting with fury and terror. "Why am I transforming now?"
Dumbledore sighed, looking down at his hands cradling the delicate china cup. "As I said, it is quite a mystery why a Lupent turns at sixteen. We can only assume that the animal inside of you emerges when it has hit a high point in sexual maturity. It is most…unique."
"Unique?" Harry sneered. "That's just a nice way of saying I'm going to be a beast, Professor."
"I suppose if you wish to think of it that way, Harry. But you have true strength of character where others would have failed, my boy," he answered, a tinge of sadness edging his words.
"I hate this! I hate that everyone depends on me," Harry yelled furiously. "I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask for any of this. I would rather have stayed a Muggle for the rest of my life if it meant no one would have died for me."
"No one is depending solely upon you, Harry; do not make the mistake of thinking you are alone. But indeed, you are a talented young man who will grow into a talented adult. Do not belittle the sacrifice your mother made for you," Dumbledore said calmly, but his fists were clenched on the table.
"I won't, Professor," Harry said coldly. "But I'll probably just end up dieing for this cause because it is, after all, what I have been created for, is it not? And now I'm the animal you want." He twisted his face away from the old man.
"Do not make yourself out to be a martyr, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore stated softly, his expression serene. "It is quite foolish."
"I am a fool," Harry yelled. "And now I'm a monster."
Dumbledore said nothing.
It was only twenty minutes later when ex-Professor Remus Lupin stepped through the door of the ancient House of Black. Dumbledore and Harry had stayed in total silence, Harry prowling restlessly around the kitchen, refusing to look at the book Dumbledore had set down on the table. He had turned immediately around when Remus entered the kitchen, his eyes wide with unasked questions. Remus tried to smile comfortingly, but Remus had the notion it hadn't worked. Dumbledore fixed a pot of tea for them, giving him a nod and a brief smile.
"Hello Remus," Albus said in greeting, genuine pleasure coloring his voice. Remus said nothing when he saw Dumbledore's eyes take on a guarded look when glancing back towards Harry.
"Hello Albus," Remus replied softly. "Hello Harry."
"Hullo, Professor Lupin," Harry muttered, turning his face away from the man.
"So I hear you're going to going through some changes, Harry," Lupin said, gazing seriously at the boy.
"Yeah, I guess," Harry said shortly, unsure of what he should be saying while suppressing the urge to scream.
"Your father went through the same changes while he was at Hogwarts, Harry. James always said it was more like an animagus transformation than…than my own."
"Did he look like this, Professor?" he asked, pointing to the picture in the book.
Remus admonished lightly, "I am not your Professor anymore, Harry. You may call me Remus if you wish."
"Oh, okay Pro-I mean, Remus," Harry said. Remus could see the uneasiness in the boy's eyes, as well as the impotent rage that he had once seen in Sirius' eyes as well. It made his voice catch in his throat.
"Ah, yes, that is very similar to James," Remus said, answering his previous question. "His eyes were hazel of course, the same as his regular eye color. So in your transformation, you will still have your green eyes," he mentioned.
"Does this mean you actually got to see my father in this form?" Harry questioned, his anger seemingly diffused for the moment.
"Yes, I was one of the few that could," Remus said lightly, trying to clear away the slight hoarseness that had clouded his voice.
"My father didn't attack you like an animal?" Harry asked, his tone sarcastic and disbelieving.
"He told me he could smell the werewolf in my blood," Remus whispered. "He said that it made him feel comfortable, that it was a smell that the animal inside of him trusted. But when Padfoot was there as well, James attacked him, able to smell his fully human scent."
Harry snorted faintly, the muscle in his jaw pulling tight. Remus could tell he wanted to burst out in a furious tirade to get rid of the building emotion, but was trying to control himself. It wasn't working very well.
Harry nodded grimly in response to Lupin's answer. "It's interesting that my father could also transform as an animagus, and that it seems so different from his Lupent body."
Remus shrugged. "Actually, he said it was easier for him to learn how to be an animagus because he already had an animal inside of him. But we were never able to figure out how he went from being an overgrown cat to a stag," he remembered, smiling wearily.
Harry smiled weakly, before rubbing his face roughly with his hands. "This is all so confusing," he whispered, and Remus could see the dizzying whirl of emotions reflected in his eyes. Remus hesitated a moment before he laid his hands gently upon Harry's shoulders.
"I am sorry, Harry, that we never told you earlier. But with all that you've been through, we felt it best to hold off till your birthday was near," Dumbledore said softly from where he sat on the opposite side of the table. Remus gave his shoulders an encouraging squeeze.
"I will be with you during your times as a Lupent, Harry," Remus said softly.
"Why?" Harry asked, and though his voice was muffled, both men could hear him. They exchanged confused glances.
"Why wouldn't I Harry? Don't you want me there?" Remus questioned, a slightly hurt tone entering his voice that he tried to cover up yet could not.
"Why would you want to be with the person that killed your best friend?" Harry whispered painfully. He was aware of the dull silence that settled over the two other men.
"I don't blame you for Sirius' death, Harry," Remus stated firmly. "It was his choice to leave the safety of this house."
"No, it wasn't! It was my fault; if only I had remembered that mirror he gave me. If only I had been smarter, and realized that it was all a plan to lure me out. I'm such an idiot," Harry growled, blinking desperately as if trying to stem the prick of tears that threatened to fall.
He could hear Dumbledore stand up and exit quietly, before Remus pulled Harry roughly into an uncomfortable embrace.
"It was not your fault, Harry. It was not your fault." He repeated it over and over, rocking Harry gently back and forth, pushing the hair away from his heated face. But Harry only grimaced, struggling weakly to pull away and Remus let him go. Harry took a deep, shuddering breath, but his eyes were dry.
"It is my fault," Harry insisted, his voice catching painfully in his raw throat. "You don't have to pretend in front of me."
"No, no it isn't, nobody blames you, calm down," Remus murmured, feeling useless.
"How can you stand to touch me? I-I-I'm so sor-rry," Harry stuttered. His fingers curled in embarrassment at his obvious reaction.
"It's okay," Remus said, standing still in front of the boy. Harry seemed to sway on his feet, blinking rapidly. Still no tears fell, but he looked in danger of passing out. Slowly, making no sudden movements, he gathered the boy in a loose embrace, supporting him. "You don't have to be strong all the time, Harry," he whispered.
Harry buried his face into Remus' neck, breathing deeply. Remus patted the loose mop of snarled curls that Harry had inherited from his father, trying to stem his own surge of grief. He needed to be strong for the boy; he needed to let Harry know it was alright to let out the pain…and what was that smell?
"Are you feeling any better Harry?" Remus asked in concern, forgetting that brief wisp of scent that hat distracted him for a moment.
"I'm fine," he croaked, collapsing in a boneless, emotional heap at the table. He lowered his head to his arms, hiding his red face.
Remus smiled weakly in agreement, sitting in the chair beside him tiredly.
"Will you stay with me in the morning?" Harry whispered, suddenly terrified of changing into an animal alone.
"Of course I will Harry," Remus answered reassuringly, patting his hand gently. "I know how scary it is, especially the first time," he finished, his mouth tightening.
"How was it the first time when you…you know, if you don't mind me asking," Harry asked, waving his hand to make his point. He looked desperate for a subject change, but neither could even pretend to make banal conversation at this time. It was too important that Harry understand the world wasn't ending – but there would obviously be major changes in his life coming up. Remus remembered his own turning, he pain and terror he had endured for so long…
"I was very young Harry, only a child. It was easier…but it was so much harder," Remus said, his eyes glazing over as he seemed to get lost in his memories. "I was so frightened, and I was bitten during a time when there was no Wolfsbane Potion to take. My parents had to lock me in a cage during each full moon…I never got over the first time I smelled their fear of their own child."
Harry looked away guiltily. "I'm sorry for bringing it up."
"Its okay, Harry. I'm just glad that I can relate to you in some way, so that you aren't completely alone during this time."
"Like that would be anything new," Harry said bitterly, his eyes flashing.
Remus tried to hide a wince, and shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I think it would be best for you to go get some sleep, if you can. We'll wake you up before the sun begins to rise. So, just go up to the room you and Ron shared, the beds are still there from last summer."
"Okay, I'll see you in a few hours then," Harry said, a slightly sick smile twisting his mouth.
Harry passed Dumbledore on his way out, giving him a nod of acknowledgment before he left to climb the stairs to his room slowly. His thoughts were swirling wildly, the little amount of information he had received tonight combined with his destructive emotions draining him. He yawned widely before blinking in surprise since he hadn't realized felt sleepy, but knew he had to get a few hours of rest before dawn.
He threw off the dirty clothing he had hastily grabbed on his way out of the Dursley's, and setting his glasses on the bedside table, fell face first into his bed. Shivering slightly as the house was still damp from years of disuse, he shimmied underneath the thin sheets on his bed and immediately dropped off to sleep.
He dreamed that a dark, sweet scent was wafting in the air while he sat alone in the darkness of his room at the Dursley's. Though the window wasn't open, he breathed deeply, inhaling the essence that curled around and invaded his senses.
"You bloody freak, I won't put up with your cheek any longer. I'll be glad when Voldemort can get rid of you next year," Vernon Dursley sneered, standing in the open doorway of his room.
"Potter…" came a snarl behind him. He turned quickly to find Snape lingering near his window, his arm crossed over his chest in his most intimidating stance, sneering in delight at Harry's confusion. "You truly are a wild beast just like your father. Lupin, I'm sure, must be glad to have a partner to romp with during the full moon."
"But I don't change during the full moon Professor Snape," Harry tried to say in his own defense.
"What are you talking about you stupid boy? You're always going to be a Lupent from now on. You'll never be human again, not that you ever were anyways!" his uncle Vernon roared with sadistic amusement. Harry wondered how his uncle knew what he transformed into.
It was then he realized that he had already transformed. He tried to look back at himself, but all he could do was focus his eyes on the Potions Master that stood in front of him.
"You insolent little boy, you finally get what you deserve," Snape sneered. Harry inhaled deeply, trying to ignore the alluring scent emanating from the Professor standing before him. It wasn't the same sweet scent he had smelled earlier, but it was just as potent.
But then the smell returned, and this time it was from the werewolf now standing in his doorway, sniffing the air eagerly. It was huge; approximately the size of an adolescent bear, it completely blocked any chance of escape that Harry may have entertained. Harry turned his body away from the man scowling down at him, and walked confidently towards the wolf in curiosity. It regarded him warily for a second before it before it bounded towards him playfully.
Harry could sense the dominant blood of the creature as it neared, and automatically huddled on the floor submissively, his head lying flat on the floor. The amber and silver werewolf smiled at him in amusement, his tongue lolling out of his mouth while he sniffed at Harry with interest. Harry, sensing no danger, raised his head to smell the werewolf before him. It was intoxicating.
He stood, stretching his long, sinuous body, before returning to his previous inspection. He was just about to walk forward to investigate further, when he felt someone shaking him roughly.
"Harry…Harry, wake up please," a voice called calmly, echoing deeply in the shadows of his semi-unconsciousness. He snuggled more firmly into his pillow, wanting to return to the dream with the large wolf.
"Harry, it's almost time, you need to wake up," the warm voice insisted, and his shoulder was shaken again.
Harry abruptly jerked awake, sitting up stiffly, his eyes darting around the room. When they landed on Remus, he relaxed slightly and stretched.
"Hey Pro-Remus," he said hoarsely, "is it time already?"
"Yes, Harry, please follow me," he answered grimly, gesturing towards the door.
"Okay, well…just let me get some clothes on," Harry said, realizing he didn't want to get out of bed completely naked in front of Remus. He was suddenly shy, more aware of his surroundings than he had been earlier that night with Snape.
Harry could have sworn he saw a smile twitch the corners of Remus' lips before he turned around, complying with Harry's wishes.
Harry dressed quickly in a pair of old navy blue sweat pants that were lying on top of his trunk that stood at the end of his bed. Forgoing underwear like before, he simply pulled them on, and grabbed the white shirt he had worn earlier.
"Okay, I'm ready," Harry called out, padding quietly after Remus as they left the room. "Where are we going to anyways?"
"Dumbledore has prepared a room for us, warded so that you can't get out. For added protection, he gave me the unlocking spell so that I may leave if you do not…take…to me," he said smoothly as he led them down the darkened hallway.
They climbed another set of stairs at the end of the corridor that led to the third floor, and made his way down another deserted corridor.
"Isn't this the part of the house where Buckbeak stayed?" Harry asked hesitantly.
"Buckbeak has been moved to a safer location with someone who can care for him full time. There was no promise that there would always be someone in this house to oversee his health," Remus replied, his voice slightly hoarse all of a sudden.
"I'm sorry," Harry said, his voice low.
"Do not," Remus said, turning around almost violently to face him. "Do not apologize one more time for Sirius' death."
"Okay Remus," Harry said quietly, slightly intimidated. "I won't."
Remus took a deep breath. "It was not your fault. I do not blame you. But I cannot help missing him, even though I have had twelve years to mourn his absence."
Harry swallowed hard and could not offer a reply, but luckily Remus did not expect one. He led him to the large attic that Buckbeak had stayed in, though it had been cleaned up for their use.
"Where did Dumbledore go?" Harry asked idly as he moved to stand by the tiny window that overlooked the front yard and gazed down at the Muggles homes that neatly lined the street.
"He's downstairs in the kitchen. He'll stay until he's sure that we are alright, and then he will leave to return to Hogwarts."
Harry nodded indifferently. He hadn't really cared, but it had seemed like a good question to ask.
He watched as the darkness on the horizon was stroked to life with tendrils of light, its silky color like fingers spearing through thick black hair. He was reminded of Sirius' hair, how when they had first met, it had been lanky and twisted in knots around his head, years of grease dampening it to his skull. It would have been gross to touch, Harry imagined, but after he had moved into the Order headquarters, it had become much cleaner.
"You smell nice," Harry said suddenly, turning away from the window to watch Remus, who stood calmly against the wall with his arms crossed. Harry was reminded of Snape this time.
"That's good, I can only imagine what you would do if I smelled awful," Remus teased good-naturedly.
"I like it. It smells…dark…and sweet," he said before blushing heatedly at his own forwardness. Remus smiled gently at him, but said nothing.
Harry moved to prowl around the room, occasionally looking through the windows, or examining furniture, but avoided looking at Remus as often as possible. As the sun began to rise more and more, though, he found he could not tear his gaze from the werewolf. That smell…that cloying scent made his mouth water and his heart beat faster.
"Are you alright Harry?" Remus asked in concern, moving away from his lounging position to stand before him. He pushed Harry's hair away from his forehead to feel the skin, noticing the heated flush that stained the boy's cheeks bright red.
"Sit down Harry, and try to remain calm. The transformation will be happening shortly," Remus said, helping Harry recline on the floor uncomfortably.
Finally, the sun shone through the small windows in the nearly empty attic, and Harry could feel the heat rising off his body. His senses were suddenly heightened, the smell of Remus so close making him moan, the bright sun hurting his sensitive eyes.
"Calm down, Harry, just remain calm," Remus said soothingly, but Harry could smell the worry in his words and his sweat.
Harry stretched, trying to alleviate the cramps that had begun to tighten the muscles in his legs and back. Though it didn't hurt it ached unpleasantly, and Harry could feel a tingle begin from his toes and work its way up through his body.
When it felt as if it had reached the tips of the hair on his head, he groaned in discomfort, arching off the hard wooden floor. Digging his heels into the wood, he ran his fingers over his body, discovering the knotted muscles with belated interest.
The heat…it was almost unbearable. Nobody had told him about the heat…he began sweating profusely, and wiggled out of his sweat pants immediately. He wasn't embarrassed at Remus being able to see his nude body; he was only worried at getting the sticky clothing off of his body. Pulling the shirt over his head, he writhed sensuously, happy to be free from the restricting cloth. He threw his glasses away once he realized they were only hindering his sight, and Remus pocketed them carefully to keep them from being damaged.
"Are you okay Harry?" Remus questioned, trying to keep his eyes from drifting down the lean, naked boy. It was hard when the muscles gleamed with droplets of sweat in the early morning sun, his slightly diluted werewolf senses almost overloading from the amount of hormones the boy seemed to be producing.
He moaned, turning onto his belly and rubbing his body against the still cool wooden floor. "So…hot…" he panted. He could feel an aching erection pulsing against the wood, but was too distracted to be embarrassed.
Remus could do nothing but stare helplessly while the boy dragged his body across the slowly warming wood.
Suddenly there was the loud crack, and the change began more rapidly. Harry's legs bent forming the haunches of a large cat, his hands forming large paws with long nails, and sprouted a thin layer of pale white fur on his arms. His paws were more of rusty auburn color, and the sensitive pads of his paws were pink and un-callused. A tail began to sprout from his tailbone, and it too was sprinkled liberally near the ends with auburn colored hair.
His ribs widened and his waist grew thick with lean, catlike muscles as his back hunched when his body adapted to become a four-legged mammal. Remus watched avidly as his neck thickened and his spinal cord shift under his skin to move at the back of his skull, no longer entering the cranium from the bottom. His nose became a pronounced snout, lacking the long, thick whiskers cats had for balance but instead the short whiskers of a dog. His eyes slanted and slightly separated while they widened and became almond shaped. His ears, one of the last things to change, condensed and became pointed, shifting their way to the top of his shapely head, cocked and swiveling in excitement.
And there sprawled out before him, was Harry Potter. A Lupent.
Harry's eyes were slowly opened as he automatically sniffed the air in terrified bemusement when the beast within him took over. He no longer controlled his body, but instead the Lupent raised its nose into the air, inhaling deeply to garner more of the scent that swirled around the room. Harry watched impassively from the back of his own mind as he turned his head to look at Remus who knelt beside his elongated body in concern.
"Harry?" he asked softly. "Are you okay?"
Harry couldn't force the animal to respond, but watched rather helplessly as it got to its feet to test its strength and balance. Finding he was adapting rather quickly to this new body, the animal went to inspect the unmoving Remus Lupin. The Lupent growled a deep warning to the man-werewolf, advising him to be still.
Remus watched tensely while Harry-who-was-no-longer-Harry approached him cautiously, sniffing the air delicately, curiously. He held out a hand when it appeared that it wouldn't attack him suddenly and without warning, and watched apprehensively as it stuck its snout into his cupped palm.
Suddenly the Lupent made a strange purring bark, snuffling closer to the man, licking the palm of his hand it its excitement. Harry could tell Remus had relaxed, already more comfortable with the playful Lupent in front of him. Remus seemed to watch in amusement while the Lupent began sniffing his shoes, nosing his ankles in interest, and grunting its pleasure, suddenly shoved its nose into his crotch.
Harry thought he could have shriveled up with embarrassment from his helpless position inside the animal's mind. But he had to admit, the werewolf smell was enticing, and the closer he was to the scent, the better. But the Lupent could also sense Remus' sudden stiffness, and the scent of the man's own embarrassment became clear as well as his sudden arousal.
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Remus could feel the flood of blood sent straight to his groin at the sudden pressure of the head between his legs. He flushed brightly before gently removing the head from his lap, and closed his legs. The animal didn't seem to care, moving onward to explore his chest and underneath his armpits, but Remus couldn't seem to relax again.
"Hmm, well I suppose I'm going to have to find something to call you, won't I Harry?" Remus laughed softly, rubbing his fingers between the cocked, pointed ears on top of the animal's head.
The Lupent let out a strange sort of gurgle as it rubbed against Remus' knees to show its approval. He rubbed his large body around as much of Remus as he could reach, the Lupent's own scent now clinging and mingling with his own.
"Harry…" Remus said gently, trying to get his attention. But Harry paid no attention to his calling, continuing to wind its body over his own kneeling form.
"Kitten, calm down," Remus chuckled and it seemed to get through to the animal, for he backed away, staring into Remus' eyes with his glittering green eyes that held small pupils marking that it was a diurnal animal decorating the center.
Harry gurgled happily before licking a paw, thereby exposing his large fangs for inspection, and lifted his damp paw to his face to groom his slightly ruffled fur. Remus watched him contently for a moment, before noticing a small zigzag of fur near one of his ears. He shifted a little closer, moving slowly so as not to startle the large cat-wolf, and gently scratched the rusty red fur near his ear, noticing with only faint amusement the white lightening bolt in the fur.
"You still have your scar, Harry," Remus said conversationally, hoping that on some level Harry could hear him. "It's very faint though, and you wouldn't find it unless you were actively searching for it."
The cat looked back at him, uncaring of what the human seemed to be saying, more interested in the weird smell coming from other areas of the room. It smelled part bird and part horse, a queer combination that confused the cat-wolf for only a moment, before it excitedly began sniffing as it moved lithely around the room, stretching its legs.
Suddenly, Remus watched curiously as the cat stiffened, crouching defensively on the ground, its shining green eyes trained directly upon the door to the attic. It sniffed, its nostrils flaring and its eyes taking on a red glint in the sunlight. It growled threateningly, it's muscles preparing to pounce at any second.
"Remus? How is Harry doing in there?" came the light words of the Headmaster from outside the door.
The Lupent let out a deafening roar and pounced against the door, its claws exposed and scrabbling madly on the magically enforced wooden door, trying desperately to find a purchase and tear the door of its hinges. Finding that its deadly nails were not affecting the stubborn door at all, it began to throw its body against the strong deterrent in hopes of shattering the wood.
"He's fine, he won't hurt me, but perhaps it would be better if you left," Remus called out helpfully to the enquiring Headmaster.
"Yes, yes, just making sure you were both well, and by the sounds of it, Harry is a healthy Lupent," came the calm, unruffled reply. "I'll see both of you tonight."
Remus could hear him stepping evenly away from the door and disappearing down the deserted corridor. Harry didn't immediately calm down, the ruffled fur on the back of his neck still bristling in anticipation, and his wrinkled, growling muzzle pulled back to reveal sharp fangs. He prowled in front of the door, sniffing eagerly at the thin crack between the floorboards and the door, red nostrils flared.
"Come away from the door, Harry," Remus urged, beckoning him closer. But Harry could not force his body to move away, and the man's words instead seemed to urge the Lupent to butt its head against the door once again. Shifting fluidly, the Lupent thrust his shoulders against the magically locked doorknob, pushing upward in an effort to break it off.
Irritated at finding his actions impeded, the Lupent grumbled in disappointment, gnawing on the steel knob in frustration.
Remus sighed and settled more comfortable against the opposite wall, watching in detached fascination at the creature before him. Harry reminded him fondly of James, and he noticed the same mannerisms in Harry that his father had had. A certain cock of the head, a flick of the ears, a narrowing of its eyes…it was like being transported back into time.
Harry sent Remus a dirty glare before he finally strolled away from the door. Nuzzling Remus with his large head, he wrapped his paws around Remus' feet as he settled on the rapidly warming floor between the man's legs, idly trying to untie the strings of his raggedy trainers with a distended nail. Harry flopped to his belly and rolled onto his back, wordlessly demanding a belly rub. Remus complied, rubbing his fingers briskly over the exposed white underbelly, smiling at the huff of feline laughter Harry let out when he evidently reached a ticklish spot.
It was beginning to near late afternoon, and the sun was beginning to wane as the day passed reluctantly into night. Remus and Harry had spent the entire afternoon discovering the potential stored inside the Lupent's body, which had meant he had spent the time sniffing the sparse furniture before ripping it apart, staring out the window in boredom before trying to shatter the glass, chewing on the shredded pieces of leftover furniture, and getting belly rubs from Remus.
Remus felt badly about the lack of stimulating activity, but there was no way Harry could be loose among full-blooded humans. His brief experience with the smell of Dumbledore only proved his instability around anyone other than Remus.
Since it was nearing time for the transformation back into his human self, Harry seemed to be getting antsy. He was pacing agitatedly back and forth in front of the door, and from time to time standing on his haunches to peer out the window. It was during his time near the window when Harry happened to glance out of the pane of glass and noticed the Potions Master entering through the front door and into the foyer. Harry immediately bounded towards the door, sniffing anxiously near the cracks in the door, impatient for some action.
Remus, noticing his sudden burst of energy, had also come closer to the door to listen to the faint thud of footsteps on the stairs. He looked down at the animal that easily reached his waist, watching the Lupent for any signs of aggression. But instead, Harry whined in the back of his throat, scratching lightly on the door in a good-natured expression of interest.
"Who's there?" Remus called out through the door, and Harry raised his eyes eagerly to the werewolf.
"It's Snape," called the man in question as he cautiously stopped in front of the door. "Is the boy still in his animal form? It doesn't sound like it."
"No…he still is," Remus answered, sounding genuinely puzzled.
"Oh…then I suppose I should just wait downstairs for you to be finished," Snape said smoothly, preparing to turn and walk away.
But Harry evidently had other plans. He growled low in his throat, scratching more insistently at the door, begging Remus with his eyes to be let out.
"What is it, kitten?" Remus asked, smiling down at the half cat-half wolf animal.
Harry whined impatiently before reaching up with his paws, futilely trying to turn the knob of the door.
"What is it? What's going on with that blasted boy?" Snape asked sounding intrigued despite his apparent disgust.
"He seems to want to be let out," Remus said, shrugging his shoulders down at Harry. Harry flashed his teeth, butting his head against Remus' leg in a way that clearly said, and you're no help.
"Don't let that beast out if he's going to attack me!" Snape cried, panic a clear undertone to his naturally silky voice.
"I don't think he's going to, Severus," Remus answered calmly. "But don't worry, I won't let him out."
"Of course," Snape sneered, but there was evident relief in his voice. He sounded as if he were beginning to walk away, when Harry roared loudly, scratching at the door.
"What is it?" Remus asked, puzzled. But Harry could not respond, and flattened his body on the ground, his nose as close to the invisible crack in the door as possible. The Lupent whined low in his throat, begging for something Remus could not give.
Remus could hear Snape take a tentative step towards the door, and Harry immediately perked up. A low, rumbling purr poured out of its mouth while it panted, still furiously sniffing at the door.
"What's going on with it?" Snape asked through the door, his voice coolly investigative.
"I don't know," Remus said in frustration. "He seems to want to smell you."
"It doesn't sound like he's as crazy as a werewolf," Snape said, and Remus could already visualize the sneer marring the man's pale features.
"Believe me, he's nearly just as dangerous as one," Remus said, so quietly that he didn't think Snape could have heard him. But the man managed to surprise him once again.
"Is the boy still at the door?" he asked cautiously.
"Yes…" Remus answered slowly, his eyebrows cocked in thought. Harry had gone still and silent, eyes trained fiercely on the doorway.
"Would he attack me if you were to open the door?" Snape asked, his voice lowered as if to encourage non-violent thoughts in the animal.
"Harry would not. The Lupent…I'm not so sure," Remus answered truthfully.
"Does he seem as if he were about to?" Snape pressured. Remus frowned, wondering why the man that was so deadly afraid of him was seeking to enter the room.
"I suppose not," he said.
"Then allow me entrance to the room."
"Why?" Remus immediately asked, concerned.
Snape did not answer for a long moment, but finally said, "It concerns a potion I may be working on shortly. I need some of his hair transformed."
"Oh."
Remus wasn't quite sure what to do. On one hand, Remus could just as easily have gotten the hairs for the Potion's professor, and it would be much safer. But what if the man needed to witness the transformation to help make a potion suitable for Harry to control the mind of the Lupent? Then again, he hadn't needed to see a werewolf transform when he had improved the Wolfsbane potion.
"Just let me in Lupin. If he attacks me, I'll get out as quickly as possible, you can be assured," Snape said dryly.
"Well…okay then," Remus said, uncomfortable for the man to be coming into a potentially dangerous situation but unable to stem his own curiosity.
When he opened the door, exposing Snape, Harry let out a happy gurgle. It was the half bark-half purr sound that Remus would forever associate with the happy Lupent. Remus hurriedly pulled the man inside the room, before soundly closing and locking the door behind the Potions Professor.
"Keep that thing away from me in case it attacks," Severus growled, backing away from the advancing Lupent. But Harry followed calmly, watching the man with hooded eyes while he lowered his muzzle to sniff daintily at the Potion Master's shoes. Harry let out a sigh, nuzzling his face happily into Snape's quivering flanks similar to the way he had earlier that morning with Remus.
"What is the beast doing, Lupin? I'm sure you have much more experience with animals than I would," Severus sneered, brushing Harry's head away from where he lingered dangerously near his crotch. Remus had to smother a smile at the thought of the man's traumatized face if Harry had continued to do what he had done earlier.
"I believe he's just trying to mark his scent on you, as a way of identifying you as his territory, and therefore not a threat," Remus replied, watching Harry's actions closely.
Severus sneered in distaste, wiping ineffectually at his pant legs, before crossing his arms imperiously.
"So, why is he not attacking me? I understand why you would be safe," here he paused with a malevolent smirk, "but I am not a Dark Creature."
"I don't understand it either, but I'm sure Harry will be able to explain once he has changed," Remus said, stroking his chin thoughtfully. Apparently through with his inspection, Harry strolled around the room indolently, stopping every now and then to rub against the legs of both men, before wandering on to look out the window again.
"He truly is an odd boy," Snape muttered irritably, crossing his arms and leaning back against the doorway in a stance designed to make the most of his imposing height. But Remus noted with dim shock that Severus hadn't really tried to escape – indeed, who would pass up the chance to see a magical creature this dangerous up close without threat of serious maiming?
"I suppose I must get this over with now. Come here boy," Snape beckoned irritably, but Remus could still see the smirk on the man's face as the Lupent obeyed the command without too much fuss. Harry stood still while Snape plucked a few of his hairs, collected a small amount of his saliva, and took some notes on the strange mix of features.
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Finally, half an hour later the transformation began again. Harry stretched out on the floor, rubbing his lithe form against the afternoon-heated floorboard of the attic, shivering slightly as sweat dampened his fur and chilled his body. He could feel his muscles tightening in cramps before becoming shorter and squatter to those of a regular human. Harry could already feel his body weakening as his body became smaller, his spinal cord changing into that of a bipedal human and shifting to connect at the bottom of his cranium once again.
His fur also shed to lie in clumps on the sweat-stained floor, and his paws reformed into hands and feet, the claws retracting into small nails. The Lupent roared its disapproval of the situation, and both Remus and Snape winced at the sheer volume, clapping their hands over their ears protectively. Remus watched carefully as the last changes began to occur, while Snape coolly categorized the differences in human physiology the Lupent represented for future reference while gathering the extra pieces of its discarded hair.
When Harry finally lay sprawled naked where the Lupent had once lain, he blinked blearily up at the two men that stood hovering above him. "Uh…hi?" he croaked in bemusement, his muscles still trembling from the aftershocks of such an intense first changing.
"How are you feeling Harry?" Remus questioned gently, smoothing the ruffled bangs away from his eyes before handing him the glasses he had discarded earlier.
"I'm okay, just a little shaky is all," he mumbled. They were all silent for a moment, staring at each other before Harry happened to glance down and catch sight of his nude body, and an embarrassed flush crept down his face and neck. "Could I have my clothes please?" he squeaked, his hands cupped over his privates protectively.
Snape bent over, coolly picking up the ragged material of his clothing before tossing them negligently towards the humiliated boy. "If you call those pieces of rubbish clothing…" he trailed off, raising his eyebrow in disdain before turning his back to both of them.
Harry, as quickly as humanly possible, thrust his legs into his pants with one hand while simultaneously pulling his shirt over his head with the other. The result had him hopelessly tangled, Snape snorting with derisive amusement, and Remus desperately trying to restrain his smile.
"Here, let me help you with that Harry," Remus suggested, helping the boy straighten out his clothing against mumbled objections.
"Merlin, the boy can't even dress himself properly, and he's supposed to save us all? We're all doomed," Severus sneered, watching with blatant enjoyment as Harry's face paled in furious rage.
"Shut up, you greasy-haired bastard, why don't you just get the hell out of here. You're not wanted," Harry snarled through gritted teeth, ignoring Lupin's startled expression of dismay.
"Unfortunately for both of us, Potter, I am under strict orders to stay. Professor Dumbledore seems to feel you would benefit from my expertise, though I told him you were…shall we say, not quite up to adequate standards."
"All I see is Dumbledore trying to punish me," Harry grumbled under his breath, but Snape managed to catch the drift of it.
"You're probably right, Potter. If you had paid any attention to your studies of Occlumency, your idiot godfather and that beasts' lover would still be alive."
There was dead silence in the room, Snape's face carefully blank though his eyes glittered balefully at the stunned men. Remus' breath caught in his throat and he averted his eyes from the young boy that stared at him in disbelief.
"You hypocrite," Harry hissed once he had regained his equilibrium, absorbing the punishing impact of the Professor's words. He tried to ignore the fact that his guilt was making his chest itch and his eyes sting. Not only had he taken the life of Remus' best friend, but to find out it was also his lover…
He could only find solace in attacking the man responsible for his current pain. "You were the one who egged him on; you were always making those snide comments about his inability to leave this fucking house. You might as well be blamed right beside me," he roared, his eyes flashing dangerously.
"Control your tongue, Potter," Severus remarked unperturbedly while studying the stained tips of his fingers.
"I'll say anything I damn well want to say, you bloody bastard," Harry snarled, furiously wishing he had his wand with him.
You don't need it…
Harry shrugged off the thought and the accompanying vision of himself throttling a purple-faced Potion's Master.
Kill him…
Harry disregarded the urge that was beginning to overtake him, but he could feel his limbs grow heavy with his continued resistance. He didn't want to kill anyone at all despite his wishful thinking.
"It's your own thoughtlessness that got that imbecile killed, and I for one was glad to see him go," Severus smirked with diluted happiness at the wounded expression on both of their faces.
Kill him…he is responsible…Harry's subconscious seemed to agree and without warning his eyes went red in his rage and his mind went blank.
"Harry! Harry, wake up," a worried Remus Lupin stressed gently, shaking his shoulders lightly. A sharp slap with a vicious palm suddenly struck him across the face, whipping his head to the side and giving his nerve endings an explosive twinge that shot down his spine.
"Severus, back away!" came the harsh reprimand from Albus Dumbledore. Though Harry couldn't see him, he would recognize that voice anywhere, and the pressure of magic was strong in the room.
"Harry, you must wake up now," came the much softer voice of the Headmaster.
Harry eyes gingerly fluttered open, quickly taking stock that he was once again laying on the floor and there were bruises spread liberally across his entire body.
"What happened?" he groaned groggily, slowly sitting up and lifting a hand to the side of his face that sported a large, welting handprint.
"We were hoping you could tell us, Harry," Lupin answered in Dumbledore's stead, rubbing a soothing hand down his back.
"I don't know…one minute I was arguing with Snape about Sirius…and I heard this strange voice…and then it went black," he finished uneasily, shrugging his gangly shoulders weakly.
"What voice did you hear, Harry?" Dumbledore asked quietly, stroking a hand absent-mindedly down his long white beard.
Harry shrugged again, not able to answer. He hadn't known whose voice it was.
"Was it Voldemort, Harry?" he questioned again seriously.
Harry slowly shook his head whispering, "It didn't seem like it, Professor."
"Then you have no idea who it was?" Dumbledore asked urgently.
Beginning to become irritated, he shook his head violently, before wavering woozily from the pounding headache he had suddenly gained. I must have hit my head on the floor when I fell, he thought dizzily.
"I'm sorry Professor Lupin, about earlier," Harry suddenly apologized, remembering how he had stuck his face into the man's crotch. He blushed in embarrassment at the memory, wishing he could sink through the attic floor at the moment.
But Remus only shook his head in befuddlement. "About what Harry? You didn't do anything."
"When I was the Lupent…I…well…you know," Harry shrugged for the third time, feeling like a useless lump on the floor.
Remus, still confused, only shook his head, clearly not understanding.
"I didn't have any control over it," Harry stressed, darting his eyes down the ex-Professor's body.
Remus, suddenly understanding, flushed dimly as well before nodding slowly. "It's okay Harry, I knew that it was most likely the animal inside of you that did…it."
"Harry-" Dumbledore suddenly interrupted, everyone ignoring the snort Snape uttered from where he lurked in the darkest corner of the attic. Since night had long since fallen from his turning, there were a lot of places the man could hide. "During your time as the Lupent, did you at any time have control over your body?"
"No, not really Professor, but I didn't really expect to have any," Harry said lamely.
"Of course you wouldn't, Potter," Snape sneered, finally deigning to speak. "If you can't even master Occlumency, how will you ever be able to control that beast inside of you?"
"That's an excellent idea, Severus. You shall begin teaching Harry again at once," Dumbledore said happily, his hands clasped together while he beamed his goodwill at all of them.
Harry and Severus both gaped at the man, before turning to glare at one another.
"Good going, Professor, now I'm stuck with you again," Harry muttered angrily.
Severus had just opened his mouth to return with a suitably acerbic reply when he was interrupted by a cough by both Lupin and Dumbledore.
"Now gentlemen, there's no need for fighting. Harry, you must learn Occlumency if you wish to even begin to control the Lupent inside of you; you are a danger to those around you if you cannot. And Severus, it's time to put your hatred of his father aside; Harry is not James, and its time you both moved beyond the past. Now, I want Harry to go up to his room and get some rest, and Severus, I want you to go back to Hogwarts and calm down. We will talk about this later, when you are both feeling more like yourselves." Dumbledore's tone brooked no argument, and Harry swiftly left the room, Severus hot on his heels to escape; he grumbled something about being surrounded by good-for-nothing Gryffindors in the damn house, and could stand it no longer.
"I'm glad you were able to get here in time, Albus," Remus remarked softly when the two had left the room. "We could not find Harry."
"I know, I'm very worried about him, Remus," Dumbledore answered calmly. "But we shall do all in our power to help the boy."
Remus was silent for a moment, contemplating all that had happened. Once Severus had begun to taunt Harry, he had noticed a difference in the boy's scent due to his heightened senses. It had seemed to Remus to smell bitter and hate filled, and when he had lunged for Snape's throat, his eyes had been wild, tinted blood red and his teeth bared in a snarl. Severus was a strong man, but it had been impossible for him to fight Harry off; he had been animalistic, and his strength had tripled inhumanly. If it hadn't been for Dumbledore's arrival, Severus would have probably died in the attic as Harry tried to strangle the man, spitting and shouting and roaring in his blind pain.
"Do you think the Dark Lord had anything to do with Harry losing control?"
"I'm not sure, Remus. It's a very real possibility…but I'm hesitant to label this as Voldemort's work. We shall just have to wait and see."
Word count: 10,439
A/N: -whew- more to come, check for updates