Hia mortals! ^^ This fic here's written only for mine and Mimi-chama's sadistic fun XD so if you don't like, don't read, don't trash, don't troll.
I don't own Axis Powers Hetalia, but If I did Prussia's ass and Russia's vodka would be mine.
Enjoy ^_^
Gilbert was drinking tea. He actually wanted beer, like every freakin normal person would do, but Austria was too damn metro for that.
"...This tea sucks. HUNGARY, MAKE A NEW ONE, BITCH!"
"YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN FREAKIN TEA YOU SON OF A..."
"Please, behave, both of you." Austria said with a calm tone.
"Mememememememe~" Prussia imitated and frowned.
"You know, it would be marvelous if you left." Said Hungary and looked at him angrily.
"Make me, hoe."
"Oh. I'll make you. I'll make you GOOD."
"Oh god, I'm so scared, the Hungarian whore's gonna beat meh up with her frying pan~"
"Fag."
"Cunt."
"Shitball."
"Cow."
"Redarded HP nerd."
"Mortal Twilight scum."
"D..."
"STOP IT." interrupted Austria.
"Yeah, I bet that's what you yell when she rapes you~"
"OUT!!!!!!!!"
"Fine. Aristocrat my ass."
"What did you say?"
"Nothing." Gilbert walked out the house.
"Damn bastard kicking me out after I took my time coming when I wasn't even invited." He stepped on something. "What the...Oh, hey Norway."
"Hello, Prussia."
"Uhm...What are you doing?"
"Searching for huldras."
"I see. Psycho."
"What did you say?"
"Nothing?"
"...Okay."
"So what do those whores look like?"
"Huldras."
"Whatever."
"Well...They look like a huldra."
"You suck at explaining. Why are you looking for them?"
"So I can use their blood for making a better sex toy than Su-san's"
"I...see. I'll be going now."
"No, you won't."
"Excuse me?"
"TAKE ME!"
"Oh well...See, I have nothing against you, you're a cute guy and all, have lotsa fangirls and shit but...I'm not one of them."
"I'm not asking you. I'M ORDERING YOU."
"Yeah, sure you are."
"I'll tell Hungary"
"Okay, we'll go to your place."
So, they went to Norway's house. Straight to the bedroom, because the author's too lazy.
"You have a surprisingly big bed..."
"Shut up and take it off."
"Oh, you already undressed. That was fast."
"I was naked under the uniform."
"Clever."
Norway pushed Prussia on the bed and ripped off his clothes. He then kissed him and bit him.
"Weren't you supposed to eb the uke?"
Author: NORWAY, FOLLOW THE BLOODY SCRIPT!
"Get on top." Norway said and pushed Prussia on top of him.
"How'd you..."
"SHUT UP AND KISS ME!" Norway pulled Gil down and didn't let him go until he needed to stop for air. He pulled down his pants. "Whaddaya know, 5 metres." He shoved it in his ass without any signs of pain. "...Oh come on, DENMARK's better than this."
"YOU SAYIN' I'M NOTG OOD, BITCH?!" Gilbert napped and shoved it further.
"Okay, that hurt..."
"STOP-RAPING-YOUR-SELF-SOP-RAPING-YOUR-SELF" he shoved in again and again after every word.
"OH, PRUSSIA, OKAY, YOU CAN STOP NOW!"
"I'M NOT STOPPING, YOU SON OF A FUCKED TEEN ENGLISH NIGGER PROSTITUTE! OHHH YES! YOU LIKED THAT, YOU LIKE THAT DON'T YOU YOU LITTLE NORTH BASTARD!"
"Do you HAVE to say such things? My back's beginning to hurt."
"NOT ONLY YOUR BACK'S GONNA HURT WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU!" he took it out and grabbed Norway's hair."Okay now, suck it."
"I didn't..." Gil pushed his head down and went deep down his throat.
"That's right, you fuckin' trash, suck it like the freakin whore you are. Good~"
He came in his mouth. "Swallow it."
"..." Norway was interrupted by a punch in his stomach before he could say anything.
"SWALLOW IT OR I'LL FROCE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!!!"
He swallowed it.
"That was a good boy." Prussia got up and dressed himself, leaving the house, skipping and singing Rammstein songs.
And Edward Cullen married the bastard of Pedobear and Rihanna and everyone lived happily ever after.
The end.
Pedobear approves.
Review or I'll send the angry Gilbo in your bedroom when you sleep. AND HE'LL FORCE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!