Author's Note: I started writing this randomly at four o'clock in the morning; lack of sleep, chain smoking and being too lazy to turn on my PSII just to watch Sora and Riku kick Xemnas' ass can be blamed for this.
Yes, it is Riku and Sora.
I never thought I'd actually write anything on them relationship wise but I did! I'm slightly happy with myself for writing something more substance turkey sandwich than a regular thought ramble that I usually post. Not saying I think It's great because it's probably full of horrible mistakes or something I can't seem to catch. If you catch anything I didn't catch, because I have no beta, please let me know. Also It's from Riku's point of view, to Sora's point of view and pretty easy to follow I think after that.
Overall I giggled during writing this so I hope it's enjoyable. HeartHeartHeart
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He said it.
It left his mouth without warning, a comet of devastation, those simple words that could have been taken in any way.
He figured the brown haired boy wouldn't think anything of it but... it was the tone of his voice, the shock in deep blue eyes that mirrored the shattered core of a heart pulsating deeply in his chest.
Pain.
The argent haired young man felt a volcano of pain pounding inside his rib cage, cracking and trying to repair the guilt that filled the hollow whenever he was near the other.
Finally after a eternity of the chocolate haired youth staring at the ground in what the silver haired one took as disgust, embarrassment, loathing; deep blue eyes turned to stare at him with that same disbelief. 'Is this a joke?' they seemed to say, mocking through the filter of hazy kitchen lights that cascaded through the darkness of the living room.
"Riku, you can't mean that," Sora muttered, low and whispered, the surprise so evident in his voice, a slight scrowl curling at his lips; looking thoughtful, contemplative.
It hurt him.
What was he to say? He said it, with more feeling than intended.
Watching forgien action films all night hanging out all over each other, throwing popcorn, laughing up a storm at the badly dubbed Kung Fu film they watched not but a few minutes ago; he found every little opening in the passing time frame to touch Sora in places for those brief few moments it could go unnoticed.
Hands sifting through soft brown spikes, looking at each other almost awkwardly then brushing it off. Laying side by side as Riku nuzzled the crook of a soft warm neck, inhaling deeply and closing his eyes only to continue watching the movie.
As he thought on all the stuble hints he never meant to drop but did anyway; Sora was waiting for an answer, it was in his eyes, he always had such expressive eyes.
'It never occurred to you?' Riku was trying to say with his own sea-green ones, voice lost in the constriction of a moment; it was as if his tongue had run away with his mind, screaming 'Oh, so embarrassing. YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN BUDDY!'
"You don't mean that," Sora confirmed with a nod crossing his arms, standing his ground; he looked so determined to believe it, bouncy hair swaying in the motions. Eyes focusing on anything but Riku.
"You know what, if you're that dense," Riku started, finding his voice that seemed lace with malicious content now, it had grown from hurt to the slight rise of anger in the slightly tanned face and contorted with a tinge of fanned embarrassment. "I'll go stay in the closet."
Sora blanched at the decision, finally taking the time to look Riku in the face like a human being instead of a alienated object he'd much rather never set sights on again. "I'm not dense! You don't mean it, it was a joke. I like Kairi. You like Girls. I like Winnie the Pooh!"
Riku's feelings of hurt subsided for a few moments, tilting his head till waves of silver hair plowed over his shoulders. He was almost positive the look on his face seemed harden and say 'Do you practice being stupid? Or are were you just born that way?'
Sora looked taken back, rubbing the nape of his neck only to turn his eyes on a plain looking vase holding a couple of wilted roses.
"Right. Good for you," Riku uttered with an esperated sigh, waving his hand through the air in dismissal only to turn away swiftly in turn and open the closet door; he meant it, this was Sora's house.
Sora's mom was sleeping and he didn't care to wake her up at four in the morning just to take him clear across the island.
"Riku. Come on, think about this...," Sora tried to interject logically; Sora being logical was almost laughable to say the least but it made the constricting heart in his chest seep slowly with the poison of truth.
He said nothing, choosing not to look back and close the door behind him only to reach up and pull down the light string; was he really going to stay in here till tomorrow?
Probably.
He was stupidly stubborn like that sometimes, even Sora thought so; Kairi had said it enough times to know it was the truth.
"Riku... Please," Sora pleaded from in front of the door, the sound of his hands sliding against the door as if he might pound on them when the lock turned to shut it completely. "Stop being stupid... open the door. We have one more movie to watch, then we'll go sleep and forget this ever happened."
Riku stared at the door, expressionless, flopping down on the floor crossed leg and playing with the hem of his jeans. He liked to think he was invincible long as he stayed at bay with what's inside the humanity of his own skin; he liked to think he was immune to the way of feelings and love, superman against the unpentrating bullets bouncing off his chest.
But caught up in something where it sometimes became a chore to bare a fluffy head against your chest, hearing the sound of laughter that made the pit of your stomach curl into a ball tightly and try to remember the trick is to keep breathing...
He said those simple words...
'When you laugh... sometimes, I think I love you.'
And Those simple words turning the situation complicated...
Had probably just ruined their friendship.
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Why did he say it?
The same thought kept cycling through Sora's mind for that last half hour, over and over again until he started knocking on the door again only loud enough for Riku to hear and his mother not to wake up. 'Riku. Please come out. Please.' he kept pleading almost near tears, the thought of his bestfriend coming to hate him for their different views or how one or the other felt was a heartbreaking thought.
Why did he say it? Why did he have to say it? Couldn't he just keep it to himself until someday when the feeling was no longer there anymore?
Sora closed his eyes hard, mentally beating himself up. i That's a selfish thought, we should never think that way, never. /i his own heart was restricting at the thought of Riku locked away in there till morning, maybe he'd come strutting out without a word to speak, without even so much as a look his way.
Sora had to admit, for a brief moment there was disgust in his heart from the thoughts raging inside his head that any boy his age might start thinking.
But this was Riku; his bestfriend, the guy who made fun of him for peeing the bed, the one who told him Santa clause didn't exist, the guy who taught him how to ride a bike, the one who showed him how to make a tire swing.
Why would Riku think those things? What did he think about?
They were.. guys.
Not a girl and a guy.
Guys.
Riku is ... The guy who didn't seem to care when Sora started crying over something dumb like scraping his knee or being a complete clutz who fell into a river bend, he'd always patch up the little wounds and kiss them better then he'd call him a brat or a wimp afterward.
Riku and him had always been that way with each other.
The thoughts made Sora tear up a little more; why did such simple words have to be taken wrong? Why couldn't he be oblivious and stupid? Why he couldn't he pretend he heard nothing more than his best buddy saying he loved him in some smartass way?
Why did he have to notice the softened tone of a hard voice, that filled with enlightenment soon as they were said?
Everything would be okay right now.
He wouldn't be trapped in his small little corner near the closet door with his knees to his chest, forlorningly looking toward the living room couch then back to the door; thinking of ways to get Riku out of his little cubbyhole.
"I'm crying, you can come out and tell me I'm a baby if you want," Sora said, trying to sound inviting like it would patch everything up between them here and now but Riku didn't even make so much as a sound in acknowledgement.
"What do you want me to do? Say the same thing back? I've never thought about it Riku, not once, not ever," Sora confirmed with a nod of his head, he never really had; he wondered sometimes why other boys looked at other boys or why the same sex went for one another.
Maybe there was that one time they were eating double scoops of Icecream down at The Cold Churn Destiny Shoppe, they had decided that scoop wars were fun and ended up in a pile on the ground laughing outside of the little shop with rounded red swivel chairs and the palm trees swaying serenely in the breeze.
Riku had threatened to lick his face if Sora didn't roll off him and for a moment, Sora thought he would do it with no concern of who might think something of it and that hadn't bother him very much.
Did he want him to do that? He didn't know.
"I'll sleep here... I'll do something, I'll pry open the door, I'll go wake up my mom and tell her you did something to sassy," Sora threatened after a moment, sniffling lightly in the darkness of the room; sassy was his mother's four year old persian cat who was more of a witch and pushy than any cat should be.
"You're an idiot," Riku's muffled voice came through the door, it's tone undecided through the filter.
"I know... I'm sorry, I should have... I didn't mean to... please come out," Sora cluttered through the motions, getting ready to crawl across the way to knock on the door once more in hopes that the argent haired teenager would ease up and just accept ... whatever there was to accept.
But the lock on the door clicked softly.
Sora paused for a moment until a knot in his stomach tightened and the feeling his chest lightened only to tighten again; without another thought, he scrambled across the floor on his knees and opened the door only to knock himself in the face with the edge, nose feeling a pain of regret the moment he fell halfway in holding his face with a chorus of 'Oww...'
"And a clutz, but we already knew that didn't we?," Riku's voice continued expressionless as did his face, looking down at the other on the floor who was looking up at him with slanted blue eyes through the haze of pain.
"Yeah, sure and you're so graceful," Sora said slightly edgy rubbing at the slightly swelled appendage that seemed to throb with a little blood leaking out his nostrils; it did not taste good in the least.
"You've got that right," Riku said arrogantly with a small smile coming to his lips, reaching out with the edge of his white shirt to wipe away the blood but Sora only seemed to sit up and edge back on the floor.
Riku only shrugged and a awkwardness set in where neither would look at one another.
"It was a mistake, I didn't mean to say it...," Riku started slowly, a half fist of knuckles dragging lightly against blue jean material, taking in slow even breaths. "I wouldn't do anything to sabatoge this."
Sora looked up slowly across the way; eyes half heartedly trained on the stacks of half rotted shelves that were damaged from hurricanes hitting the island sometime ago, on them were jars of pickles, fermenting wine, and cherries basking in brandy for a sweet alcoholic drink.
The thought that passed his mind was quickly erased.
"Sassy took my tongue...," Sora joked lightheartedly; he could find nothing to counter what the green eyed boy said, his own eyes becoming glassy and watery staring down at the floor.
"Very funny, did she take away your free will to look at another too?," Riku asked with his body bending slightly to the side, silver strands of hair falling into his face with a ever present smirk gracing pale pink lips.
"I think so, maybe she's going to take your posture and give you back problems in the future," Sora grinned cheesily after a moment, finally looking to the other... somehow his stomach did a little flip from the strange look in Riku's eyes that only made him look away for a second.
"Hm...," Riku quietly assessed, the smirk turning slightly confident when the appearance of a light flush swallowed up the other's cheeks, he reached up to place his hair behind his ears; looking down at the still damp socks from earlier's venture in the rain together.
More time passed but the awkwardness seemed to disappear in the air, it was replaced with something warm and comforting; what was said not forgotten, but it didn't seem to change much either now that they had nearly over an hour gone through the stupidity of pleading and ignoring with one another.
"Riku...," Sora spoke up taking in a deep breath, chest rising and falling with the strokes of something like acceptance, getting on his knees to crawl over to the other with painstaking scraps cross the old fading red carpet.
"Yeah...?," Riku inquired looking patient but inside it was a impatient inferno that seemed to want to consume him, he wanted to know why the other was crawling toward him with his head lowered as if he might get smacked away. Didn't he learn any damn thing by now?
"We should...," Sora began coming in closer and closer until he was nearly face to face with Riku, leaning up on his hands to get within the other's space, a serene sleepy smile forming on his mouth.
"Yeah...?," Riku urged slightly curling and uncurling his hands in the anticipation, barely able to look the other in the eye with the atmosphere of the situation and the way warm breath was brushing at his cheek with a gentle hand.
"We should...," Sora stated again barely able to keep the mischievous humor out of slightly glistening eyes, especially when a look of impatience finally crossed the usually collective boy's face adding with a bonus of a perturbed glare.
"Sora, get on with it before I smash one of these jars over your head," Riku said with a disarming and irritated smile, jerking his thumb back toward the shelves. Being toyed with in a situation like this was not the best idea at five o'clock in the morning; not when everything was starting to burn and his body was telling him sleep was heavily needed.
"We should get some sleep!," Sora finished with a cheeky grin, making a oof sound at the thrown arm that meant to knock him down, he laughed cheerful and hard at the half hearted angry look on the other's face. White teeth glistening when he fell to his side, hitting him in the arm only to recieve the same thing in return.
"We should," Riku sighed finding the slight disappointment in his chest was not heavy but light hearted, light hearted that those simple words didn't ruin anything at all but take a hour of precious time and another movie away from them.
"Okay... so let's sleep," Sora laughed lightly reaching up with both his arms, entangling them tightly around the warm tanned neck until Riku was forced down next to him, piling against each other.
"Whatever you say," Riku said with a hint of laughter in his own voice, taking the oppurtunity to snuggle as close and comforting as he could; did this mean anything? Did this really change anything?
Those thoughts really didn't matter right now.
All that mattered was that they were curled up in each other's arms, comforted and protected, the way they used to when they were four and five after watching a horror movie they weren't supposed to watch but did anyway; and Riku could inhale deeply and pleasently all that he wished without odd looks or questions.
Sometimes, simple little words could wreck and shatter everything like an explosive trainwreck or comet plummeting to earth.
Sometimes, impulsive little words could turn the situation in your favour, giving you the hope and possibility that they did more for you than you'd could ever hope in the future.
The closet was questionable though...
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The dark haired woman seemed to stumble her way downstairs, muttering in the kitchen about folger's coffee and bagels, oh the 'sweet' disgusting smell of something dieing in the kitchen's trash can.
A mental note to herself about having Riku and Sora take it out later on; it was after all garbage day tomorrow.
Speaking of which... where were her two boys?
It took no more than fifthteen minutes of checking her son's room and then every other room in the house; worried and on a rampage getting ready to wake up Kairi and her parents at this time in the morning if they weren't even out of bed yet until something told her to check the last place she hadn't looked; the dining room closet.
Why on earth would they be in there?
Oh Oh Oh but when she opened the closet door and reached up to turn on the light; suspicions turned true.
They were curled up against one another like two peas trapped inside a hard stuck pod, Riku drooling on top of Sora's hair, arms wrapped around the smaller boy tight and Sora holding on to the older boy for dear life, cuddling closer than she had seen either of the two boys do in a long time.
For a moment a thought passed her mind with blue eyes catching the sight of marinating cherries in the sweet intoxication of brandy wine but she quickly dismissed the idea with a shake of her head, hands on her hips and the look of a mother getting ready to scold both her children because even Riku was a son to her no matter what anyone else thought.
"Wake up you two!," Michelle said in her 'I will not take no for an answer' voice, stamping the pink fluff of a slippered foot impatiently.
They both stirred, languidly stretching and fumbling against each other; bodies unwilling to get up in their tangled mess of limbs and sleep.
"Come on you two, I'll make breakfast and then I'm going to yell at you both for worrying me," Michelle confirmed walking away with a shake of her head to the stove to crack open the cupboad and rummage through the fridge for eggs, sasuage and all other little breakfast treats that roused teenage boys.
Moments passed long enough for her to already have the oil simmering inside the black cast iron pan and a egg to crack open hotly in the liquid; moments that turned once more impatient for her, sighing she turned to look at the open space where neither had emerged. "Are you two ever going to come out of the closet?"
A long bated silence, a roll of her eyes.
All she heard next was a loud rambactious laughter and sleep laddled giggles echoing from the inside the closet space through out the kitchen, mingling together pleasently as it always did.
Silly boys.
She had such silly boys.