…Don't hate me too much…I guess…Ah what the hell…I don't care. Laugh a little. Hate it, love it, review it, flame it, come to my house and kill me. I don't care. This is the prologue and chapter one. I'm too lazy to put it in two separate parts…sue me. Literally. Take my money. I hate it. I'll eat it…what was I doing again? Oh yes! The story.
It seemed like a good idea at the time…
Prologue-Lookie! I'm a prettyfull evil fairy!
She skipped down the dark abandon halls of Balamb Garden, an evil plan locked inside her sick twisted mind. Her pink curly hair dangling below her ears, barely revealing the two safety pins used for a cheap, yet fun, substitute for earrings. She pulled out a large shiny object and walked into a room. There they were…Squall Leonheart and Rinoa Heartilly, asleep next to each other. She walked up next to them and raised the object above her head. Grinning, she brought it down on Squall's head, then did the same to Rinoa. A loud clanging noise rang throughout the room. Se pulled out a notepad and a fuzzy green pen. She crossed off the last two names on the list. Giggling, she twirled around, letting her pink tutu spin in the air while also throwing her hands above her head. And she said…
????-"I'M PQT AND I'M A PRETTYFULL EVIL FAIRY!" Laughing evilly, she skipped out waving her shiny object…which was really a frying pan around in the air. With what goes on in her mind…god save us all…
(I'm talking about myself…I'm really messed up…)
Chapter one-Is it just me or did Rinoa eat someone?
Quistis paced back and forth through-out the classroom in a quite seductive manor. She had seemed to change from what she was like the day before. She had shortened her shirt a bit and was bending down at any chance she got…people liked it.
Quistis-"Alright. I will pass out this test. Do it quickly and I will give you pleasure…"(Dude Where's my Car moment…) Zell raises his hand.
Zell-"How many Chocobos where killed in the making of this test?"
Quistis-"Uh…none…"
Zell-"How about Moogles?"
Quistis-"No…"
Zell-"I think you're lying to me!"
Quistis-"SHUT UP!"
Zell-"Make me!"
Quistis-"Ok…if you insist…"
Zell-"WAIT! NO! I'll be quiet…please don't hurt me…" Zell was wearing a tie-dyed tee-shit and had several different colored beads around his neck.
Me-"The hippies are back dammit…"
Quistis rolled her eyes. Being a wuss was a turn off…Passing the test out, she failed to notice everyone else has seemed to have gone nuts. Selphie had given up her yellow dress and was now wearing black, including black contacts and she had even dyed her hair black. (My hair's pink…) Irvine looked the same and it was the same with Rinoa…but Squall was…GASP! (Looks around) SMILING!
Zell suddenly jumped up and ripped the test in half.
Zell-"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!!!! MURDERERS!!!!" He ran out crying, almost knocking over Seifer Fujin and Rajin, who were wearing their new parkas.
Quistis-"You three are late…" She pulled out her whip. "You now have detention where I will discipline you…"
Irvine-"I broke his pencil! Does that deserve a detention?"
Quistis-"Yes…"
Seifer-"I have an announcement! We are no longer the disciplinary committee…or a posse. We are the Parka Mafia!!"
Rajin-"We are ya know! We're gonna kill ya…with kindness!"
Quistis-"Oh damn…I like it rough…" Irvine jumped out from his seat, raising his hand.
Irvine-"Oh Quisty! I need some…'help'" She grinned.
Quistis-"Good…come to my desk. Squall take over. I'll just be gone for five minutes…" He followed her up to her desk, then the two went under it as Squall came to the front of the class.
Squall-"…HI EVERYONE! It's a beautiful day! YOU!" He pointed to a male student. "Read question number one."
Student #1-"It says, 'Would you have sex with me, Quistis, for money?'"
Squall-"Who said yes?" Half the class raised their hand. "Who said no?" The other half raised their hand…except for Selphie. "What did you put Selphie?"
Selphie-"SATAN SPEAKS FOR ME!!!!" She looked around, pulling a knife out of her pocket. "A sacrifice!"
Student next to Selphie-"Eek!!" Selphie began stabbing her neighbor as Zell re-entered.
Zell-"I KNEW IT!" Rinoa ran over to the now dead student and started doing something that no one could see.
Me-"LOOKIE WHAT I DID! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"
Student #2-"HEY! You're not in this story!"
Me-"Listen. I wrote this story and I can be in it if I want!"
Student #2-"No you can't!"
Me-"Yes I can! And I can also 'mysteriously' kill you right now! So shut up!"
Student #2-"Okay…"
Me-"No where was I? OH YES!" A female student raised her hand.
Student #3-"Is it just me or did Rinoa eat my boyfriend?" No one notices. "I THINK RINOA ATE MY BOYFRIEND!!" Everyone looks at Rinoa who has blood around her mouth.
Rinoa-"It's kool-aid…I swear…"
Squall-"Hey! I can teach you about cannibalism!" Squall jumps up and starts dancing and singing. "Cannibal! She eats humans just like that dude Hannibal!" Quistis smoothes her hair as she comes out of the desk, followed by Irvine who is zipping up his pants.
Quistis-"Shut up Squall!"
Selphie-"By order of Satan, if I am not excused I will be forced me to bite off a bat's head!"
Rinoa-"And I'll bite off his head!"
Student #…I can't remember…single digit numbers are too hard…-"NO!"
Zell-"ENOUGH OF THE VIOLENCE!!!!"
Seifer-"Hey chicken wuss!…Good idea!"
Zell-"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! HOW CAN YOU SPEAK OF CHICKENS LIKE THAT? THOSE POOR THINGS!"
Selphie-"That's it! Give me a bat…or a chocobo!"
Zell-"YOU FREAKS! Give peace a chance!" He ran out, crying once more. Seifer stood up.
Seifer-"Come Parka Mafia! We must exit now to spread cheeriness through-out the lands!" Seifer Fujin and Rajin walked out, but not before trying to hug the still singing Squall.(Lot's of S's…try saying that five times fast…)
Squall-Happiness! Can not live with out that happiness! Windmill! Windmill! Windmill"(Superstar moment…) Rinoa ran up to him and tried to chew on his hand while he was doing windmills. "WINDMILL!!!"
Quistis-"God dammit this isn't working!"
Irvine-"I say we help my grade again at your desk…"
Quistis-"Maybe…" She looked around. "Selphie, drop the bat, Squall stop singing and Rinoa don't eat him. Now, get the fuck out of my classroom!" The three left, Squall still singing and dancing out. "Now for the rest of you. I hope you don't want to learn…cuz I refuse to teach…instead…ORGY!"
Me-"Well that was the end of chapter one…I know I know…'thank god she shut up!' Flame me if you wish…this is not my best work but it is my first shot at a comedy…It's just my sick twisted humor. Oh, I forgot my disclaimer. I don't own FF8…but I do own the Parka Mafia! I'm Englishman…"
Will-"HEY! I own the Parka Mafia! You took some of my ideas!"
Me-"Blast! Foiled again! Well...review…I guess…be…nice? I'm writing more whether you like it or not…"
It seemed like a good idea at the time…
Prologue-Lookie! I'm a prettyfull evil fairy!
She skipped down the dark abandon halls of Balamb Garden, an evil plan locked inside her sick twisted mind. Her pink curly hair dangling below her ears, barely revealing the two safety pins used for a cheap, yet fun, substitute for earrings. She pulled out a large shiny object and walked into a room. There they were…Squall Leonheart and Rinoa Heartilly, asleep next to each other. She walked up next to them and raised the object above her head. Grinning, she brought it down on Squall's head, then did the same to Rinoa. A loud clanging noise rang throughout the room. Se pulled out a notepad and a fuzzy green pen. She crossed off the last two names on the list. Giggling, she twirled around, letting her pink tutu spin in the air while also throwing her hands above her head. And she said…
????-"I'M PQT AND I'M A PRETTYFULL EVIL FAIRY!" Laughing evilly, she skipped out waving her shiny object…which was really a frying pan around in the air. With what goes on in her mind…god save us all…
(I'm talking about myself…I'm really messed up…)
Chapter one-Is it just me or did Rinoa eat someone?
Quistis paced back and forth through-out the classroom in a quite seductive manor. She had seemed to change from what she was like the day before. She had shortened her shirt a bit and was bending down at any chance she got…people liked it.
Quistis-"Alright. I will pass out this test. Do it quickly and I will give you pleasure…"(Dude Where's my Car moment…) Zell raises his hand.
Zell-"How many Chocobos where killed in the making of this test?"
Quistis-"Uh…none…"
Zell-"How about Moogles?"
Quistis-"No…"
Zell-"I think you're lying to me!"
Quistis-"SHUT UP!"
Zell-"Make me!"
Quistis-"Ok…if you insist…"
Zell-"WAIT! NO! I'll be quiet…please don't hurt me…" Zell was wearing a tie-dyed tee-shit and had several different colored beads around his neck.
Me-"The hippies are back dammit…"
Quistis rolled her eyes. Being a wuss was a turn off…Passing the test out, she failed to notice everyone else has seemed to have gone nuts. Selphie had given up her yellow dress and was now wearing black, including black contacts and she had even dyed her hair black. (My hair's pink…) Irvine looked the same and it was the same with Rinoa…but Squall was…GASP! (Looks around) SMILING!
Zell suddenly jumped up and ripped the test in half.
Zell-"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!!!! MURDERERS!!!!" He ran out crying, almost knocking over Seifer Fujin and Rajin, who were wearing their new parkas.
Quistis-"You three are late…" She pulled out her whip. "You now have detention where I will discipline you…"
Irvine-"I broke his pencil! Does that deserve a detention?"
Quistis-"Yes…"
Seifer-"I have an announcement! We are no longer the disciplinary committee…or a posse. We are the Parka Mafia!!"
Rajin-"We are ya know! We're gonna kill ya…with kindness!"
Quistis-"Oh damn…I like it rough…" Irvine jumped out from his seat, raising his hand.
Irvine-"Oh Quisty! I need some…'help'" She grinned.
Quistis-"Good…come to my desk. Squall take over. I'll just be gone for five minutes…" He followed her up to her desk, then the two went under it as Squall came to the front of the class.
Squall-"…HI EVERYONE! It's a beautiful day! YOU!" He pointed to a male student. "Read question number one."
Student #1-"It says, 'Would you have sex with me, Quistis, for money?'"
Squall-"Who said yes?" Half the class raised their hand. "Who said no?" The other half raised their hand…except for Selphie. "What did you put Selphie?"
Selphie-"SATAN SPEAKS FOR ME!!!!" She looked around, pulling a knife out of her pocket. "A sacrifice!"
Student next to Selphie-"Eek!!" Selphie began stabbing her neighbor as Zell re-entered.
Zell-"I KNEW IT!" Rinoa ran over to the now dead student and started doing something that no one could see.
Me-"LOOKIE WHAT I DID! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"
Student #2-"HEY! You're not in this story!"
Me-"Listen. I wrote this story and I can be in it if I want!"
Student #2-"No you can't!"
Me-"Yes I can! And I can also 'mysteriously' kill you right now! So shut up!"
Student #2-"Okay…"
Me-"No where was I? OH YES!" A female student raised her hand.
Student #3-"Is it just me or did Rinoa eat my boyfriend?" No one notices. "I THINK RINOA ATE MY BOYFRIEND!!" Everyone looks at Rinoa who has blood around her mouth.
Rinoa-"It's kool-aid…I swear…"
Squall-"Hey! I can teach you about cannibalism!" Squall jumps up and starts dancing and singing. "Cannibal! She eats humans just like that dude Hannibal!" Quistis smoothes her hair as she comes out of the desk, followed by Irvine who is zipping up his pants.
Quistis-"Shut up Squall!"
Selphie-"By order of Satan, if I am not excused I will be forced me to bite off a bat's head!"
Rinoa-"And I'll bite off his head!"
Student #…I can't remember…single digit numbers are too hard…-"NO!"
Zell-"ENOUGH OF THE VIOLENCE!!!!"
Seifer-"Hey chicken wuss!…Good idea!"
Zell-"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! HOW CAN YOU SPEAK OF CHICKENS LIKE THAT? THOSE POOR THINGS!"
Selphie-"That's it! Give me a bat…or a chocobo!"
Zell-"YOU FREAKS! Give peace a chance!" He ran out, crying once more. Seifer stood up.
Seifer-"Come Parka Mafia! We must exit now to spread cheeriness through-out the lands!" Seifer Fujin and Rajin walked out, but not before trying to hug the still singing Squall.(Lot's of S's…try saying that five times fast…)
Squall-Happiness! Can not live with out that happiness! Windmill! Windmill! Windmill"(Superstar moment…) Rinoa ran up to him and tried to chew on his hand while he was doing windmills. "WINDMILL!!!"
Quistis-"God dammit this isn't working!"
Irvine-"I say we help my grade again at your desk…"
Quistis-"Maybe…" She looked around. "Selphie, drop the bat, Squall stop singing and Rinoa don't eat him. Now, get the fuck out of my classroom!" The three left, Squall still singing and dancing out. "Now for the rest of you. I hope you don't want to learn…cuz I refuse to teach…instead…ORGY!"
Me-"Well that was the end of chapter one…I know I know…'thank god she shut up!' Flame me if you wish…this is not my best work but it is my first shot at a comedy…It's just my sick twisted humor. Oh, I forgot my disclaimer. I don't own FF8…but I do own the Parka Mafia! I'm Englishman…"
Will-"HEY! I own the Parka Mafia! You took some of my ideas!"
Me-"Blast! Foiled again! Well...review…I guess…be…nice? I'm writing more whether you like it or not…"