This is what Happens…

Complete and utter crack involving what would happen if my muse got a body, my favorite anime characters came to live in my house and I had an unlimited cash flow to buy Japanese food.

Ch. 1: Meet the Muse

A/n: Yes, my muse is named Riko. And yes, my name in real life is Z.

Riko walked up the gravel driveway, double-checking the slip of paper in her hand. It was the right house, but she was taken aback by the big stone house before her. It was HUGE! It was like a big stone castle. She tried the door and found it unlocked, so she let herself in. Even inside, the place was luxurious. Riko couldn't help but parade up and down the large wooden staircase a few times, imagining herself as a beautiful princess or a famous movie star. She stuck her head in all the rooms, marveling at the large bathtub in one of the bathrooms and plopping herself down on a teal beanbag in a tiny little room with a set of ipod speakers on a little red table. No one was in any of the rooms. All that could be heard in the big stone house was the clack of computer keys as Riko slunk up the stairs. As she reached the third floor, she heard a muttered string of curses.

"God forsaken writer's block. It should burn in hell! I hate it; I hate it, I fucking HATE IT!!!!" Riko giggled. As she reached the top of the stairs she saw a dirty-blonde head of short hair bent angrily over a computer keyboard.

"Looks like I came just in time," Riko said, grinning at the startled response as the girl sprang out of her chair.

"Who the hell are you?!" She asked hands planted on her hips. Riko took a good look at the girl in front of her. She was about 5' 7", and she wore pinkish half-rim glasses. She was dressed in blue jeans and a black shirt with the L from Death Note on it.

"You must be Z-Chan," Riko said with a smile, holding out her hand. "I'm Riko, sent by Muses Inc. to be the physical embodiment of that voice in you head. Nice to meet you."

"So my muse actually DOES exist," she said, mulling over the startling news. "That's rather awesome. Are you actually here to HELP me or are you just gonna sit around and eat my Pocky?" She snatched up a box of the offending candy and slumped back down in her spinney plush computer chair.

"Fine, fine," Riko sat down, glancing at the computer screen. "So your problem is that your characters are a bit too ooc to make a realistic plot work. Let's see how we can fix that." After two hours of hard rewriting, the doorbell rang.

"Oooh!" Riko jumped up from her crouch on the floor. "My friends are here!" Riko left Z staring in slight bewilderment as she raced downstairs to get the doorbell. Her two dogs (1) tried to run after Z's recently discovered muse, but Z reached up to slam the door before the could run downstairs barking.

Riko was whistling as she sauntered to the door. "It can be one of two people," she thought, grinning evilly. "One of two people."
Z saved her writing, relatively pleased with how it worked out. Having her muse to actually help her, instead of whispering insane ideas in her head, was a welcome relief. She pondered who her muse could have brought to her house. She thought it might be another muse, maybe Michael's or H-Chan's (2). When she heard the footsteps on the stairs and Riko's loud, but melodic voice she opened the door to the rest of the house. If she hadn't been a gentle state of shock she would have passed out.

"You brought Tamaki, the HOST CLUB Tamaki, into my HOUSE?!" Z's eyes were as wide as saucers. "Are you fucking KIDDING me?!" The tall blonde looked straight at Z, straitening his blue school uniform.

"That's a rather unladylike thing to say," he said, his voice positively dripping with honey-like persuasion.

"Don't even try it, buster," Z said, eyes narrowing. "There's only one anime character who can even DREAM of getting in my pants and it sure as hell isn't YOU!" The look on his face after this statement was one of pure crestfallenness. Shadows seemed to cloak him and his lower lip stuck out in a pout. To any other fangirl, the pout would cause nosebleeds and swooning. But not this one.

"Stop it," Z said, her tone of voice broking no argument. "You look like a five year-old. You can stay the afternoon, but I don't think you should push you welcome any further than that." Tamaki flounced upstairs, the look of hurt still not completely gone from his face. Z shot knives at her muse's back.
"How DARE you bring that stuck-up son-of-a-toad into my house?" She howled, shaking sporadically. "You're my MUSE! You should know I can't stand him! (3)" Riko just shrugged and went into the kitchen. When Z walked in she had water on the stove and had two cups of instant shrimp ramen on the counter.

"I thought you'd like some, so there's enough water in the teapot for two cups."

"Your kindness is appreciated," Z, said, sarcasm dripping off her voice like poison. "Please, remind me NOT to ever invite you here again. You were horrible in my head, but you're worse in person. Way worse."

"Now that's not very nice!" The indignation in Riko's voice made Z contrite.

"You can't afford writer's block on that new fic you're working on so pamper you're poor battered muse." A long sigh greeted that statement.

"Just no more anime characters in my house."

"Too late," Riko said, grinning sheepishly as the doorbell rang for the second time that day. "But I promise you'll like this one. I promise." Z's eyebrows shot up.
"I'd better."

A/n: First chapter!!! W00t!!!!

1: I do actually have two dogs. I'm trying to make my life as realistic as possible. Exept for the whole anime characters coming to my house bit. XD
2: Mikey-chan and H-chan will have more cameos later. They are amazing friends who have accounts. M-chan-mskkid H-chan-lightdanger
3: Fangirls don't hate me, but he's easily my least favorite character in host club. My favs are the twins and Haruhi.

Writing about myself in the third person is HARD!!

R&R PLEASE