Finally I had time to write another story. Sorry it took so long, I moved to another country and all beginnings are hard. Hope you like that. It's a non-Rivkin story, so pretend that would have never happened.
Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or any of the characters, but I do own my imagination and therefore this story is mine.
It was a long way to where they were now. Right at the beginning neither of them would have dared to use the "R" – word.
Everything started simple. Or that's how it must have looked for an outsider. For Tony and Ziva of course, it meant so much more.
It was late one night, everyone except the two of them had left the office. In fact, Ziva had finished her reports some time ago, but deliberately lingered behind in an attempt to wait for Tony, who took hours to type – like always. However, Ziva didn't mind. She enjoyed his company. She's been having feelings for Tony for a long time now, but it wasn't until recent that she didn't deny that fact to herself anymore. These feelings were just too overwhelming and sometimes she almost got lost in them when being around him. Not that she would ever do something about it, no that would only interfere with work, but admitting her weakness to herself just made it more bearable.
"Finished", Tony said finally and beamed at her. She smiled back and grabbed her handbag. He had asked her out tonight, as friends of course, but so what? She could still be his friend and if she enjoyed it a little more than if she would've gone out with McGee or Abby then still no harm would be done, wouldn't it? At least that's what she kept telling herself.
They went into a nearby bar, one they often went to. Time went by fast and it was great. Both had fun without too many drinks, but a very animated conversation. Ziva found it more and more difficult to keep her feelings for him hidden. She could drown in his smile. But it was not only his smile, it was everything: The way he seemed to understand her without many words, his whole demeanour, even his constant movie references. Whenever his hand accidentally brushed hers, it would send shivers down her spine.
Oh it was so wrong, they could never do that, and to be honest, it was DiNozzo, she could not possibly think that…well, whatever she was thinking.
But she didn't know how mistaken she was for Tony's thoughts were almost identical with hers. Recently, no scratch that, in fact for a while now – first without even realising it, he felt different around Ziva, different in a good way, a very good way. He knew he changed since Jeanne (being able to commit might be the only positive thing deriving from that liaison) and more and more often he found himself thinking of how great it would be to wake up in the morning next to a certain Israeli.
However these thoughts were dangerous, it could never happen.
Despite all good pretences on both sides something did happen that night, when they said their goodbyes to each other in the car park. It was long dark and Tony insisted to walk Ziva to her car. Usually Ziva would strongly protest against such behaviour for she was not some woman who needed protection, but not tonight. Later she couldn't tell anymore, why she let him guide her there, it just seemed right. Perhaps it was a magical moment, perhaps it was fate, call it what you want. Anyway, she found herself hugging him goodbye. It was only supposed to be a short embrace, but he kept holding on to her and for once Ziva found herself unable to keep her emotions under control: She let him hold her and hold him back in return.
Finally, they slowly emerged from their embrace without letting go completely. Their faces were very close now and somehow seemed to draw even closer. Then their lips collided as if guided by an invisible force. The kiss was light as a feather and over almost instantly. It left them, however, speechless and stunned. Finally, Ziva made it inside her car and drove off, her mind spinning like crazy.
What happened in the days, weeks, months afterwards was kind of a cat and mouse game really.
They had to talk about it, of course, but at first neither could bring themselves to do so. Everything was just so new and magic…and awkward. There was no denying it that it caused some tension at work and received them more than one head slap by Gibbs for not being focused. There were many furtive glances at one another and secret shy smiles. Regret? No, on both sides, but many questions: What were they going to do? What will happen? Truth be told, each dreamed of the other almost every waking and sleeping hour, they longed for each other. Many days passed like that.
Then, one day they happened to be in an elevator together, alone. The ride seemed extremely slow for both of them. They were standing close, very close. Suddenly, Ziva felt Tony stroking her hand ever so slightly. Slowly a smile formed on her lips. Now, she thought, now was the right time to talk. She turned to him and wanted to open her mouth, but found it covered by Tony's. Before she actually had time to respond to his kiss, the elevator chose exactly that moment to announce the arrival at their floor. Quickly Ziva jumped away from Tony and out of the doors, all the time scolding herself. That couldn't happen. It was wrong, it was against the rules.
Talk. Never underestimate the power of that word. It intimidates even the strongest people in this world. But it was unavoidable, they couldn't ignore this any longer. It was in the evening, when they were about to go home, that they were in the elevator together again. Almost as soon as the elevator moved, Tony reached across Ziva and switched the emergency stop button. "We need to talk.", there, it was out. Ziva sighed and said in a low voice without looking at him: "I know." However neither of them seemed to know where to start and so they simply stood there for a few minutes in an uncomfortable silence. Then Tony raised his fingers to Ziva's chin, turned her to face him and said: "Ziva, please…look at me." Slowly she lifted her eyes and met his. "Tony, this is impossible. It can't work out, this…whatever it is, we are doing.", her voice was trembling, betraying her resolution. Once more Tony brought his fingers up to her face, this time to stroke her cheek. "Ziva,", he was pleading, "I can't just let go. This is different. I mean, you…I…You see, I'm not really good at this, but…oh God, here goes the last remain of my dignity…Ziva, I don't think I've ever said this to a girl, woman, before without meaning it: It feels so good to be around you and I want to spend every single second of a day with you."
Hearing this, hearing Tony actually saying that she was special to him, made Ziva go weak. Yes, that's exactly what she wanted as well, being with him, but they couldn't…could they? "Tony, I…I want this, too, but how do you think this would work?", she was desperate. Here was her one time chance of happiness, but she had to let it pass. "I mean, besides Gibbs having this rule, even if he wouldn't have it, we have to be realistic. We couldn't work together anymore. I would be worried sick about you all the time and…well, you know to what that would lead."
Seeing Tony's face made her almost break down in front of him. "Ziva…". How would she love just to forget about all this and let Tony take her wherever he wanted, nothing would matter as long as it was only the two of them. But she couldn't, it was against her nature, her training. She put all her remaining power together to build walls around her once more. "I'm sorry, Tony", she said without any emotion in her voice. She switched the elevator back on. Silently they continued their ride. When the doors opened, Ziva exited immediately without looking at Tony. She knew it would have broken her heart and her resolve. Only when she was sure Tony couldn't see her anymore, she let the tears come.
The next weeks were difficult. They barely talked to each other, besides for what the job required. Ziva thought Tony was angry with her, but that was not the reason he wasn't talking to her. No, he knew deep down that she was right and so having minimal contact seemed to him the one and only thing that would eventually erase his feelings for Ziva.
Of course this didn't work, it only made them both feel really miserable. They snapped at each other for nothing and sometimes even at poor McGee. It weren't very happy times. Every night they'd both lie awake in their respective beds thinking about the other and the sensation it caused in them whenever the other was around. When sleep came this would turn into dreams full of passion and in the morning it turned into frustration.
At lunch time they were in the elevator – again. It has been a really unpleasant morning as Tony and Ziva's constant bickering has been worse than usual. It led to them earning several head slaps from Gibbs and a frosting atmosphere in the bullpen.
"Don't stand so close to me!", Ziva snapped at Tony. She shouldn't be so agitated, she knew, but it was all too much. Him being so close all the time and yet no possibility to actually be with him. "Excuse me, your highness.", Tony snapped back. "It's an elevator, there is not so much room." "There is plenty of room here! And don't you talk to me like that." "Oho, who started it? As far as I recall it, it was you – not only now, but also this morning. God, Ziva, what is wrong with you?" "YOU, Tony, you are wrong with me. I have enough of your behaviour, it makes me sick! Why do you have to be so irritating?" "Irritating, look who's…" Wait, why would he be irritating? His voice was calm all of a sudden as he asked: "Why do I irritate you?" Oops, Ziva blushed and turned away from him. How could she let that slip? "Well, what do you think?", she finally said quietly, still not looking at him.
Tony visibly gulped. Grrh, so it really was as hard for her as it was for him. A sudden flash of passion overflowed him. Damn with all the consequences, all the reasons. He swithed the emergency stop button and suddenly grabbed Ziva's arm, spun her around so that she faced him, before pressing her against the wall of the elevator.
"Tony,…", she said in a weak attempt of stopping him, but it was too late already. The feeling of him so close made her loose her senses and so she didn't protest but eagerly responded when he pressed his lips on hers…
This time no one talked. But every now and then during the next few days you would see one of them blush suddenly when their thoughts wandered to that make out in the elevator. Things had changed since then as the constant bickering had stopped completely (it left McGee quite confused). The secret glances however were back. They beard this tension for five days. Then in the evening Ziva opened her door quite confused late one night after the doorbell has been rung. Who would come to see her now? She hardly had time to get a look at her visitor as Tony had her already caught in his arms and gave her a fiery kiss. When he let go, Ziva couldn't help the big smile that formed on her face. "Oh.", was all she said, before she brought her lips back onto his. Tony engulfed her with his arms while kicking the door shut with his foot. Completely lost in each other they made their way to Ziva's bedroom.
There was no way around talking this time, how ever nice and distracting it was to wake up in each other's arms in the morning. "Morning, beauty.", Tony smiled and kissed her on the forehead. Ziva took his hand and sighed. "Tony…" "Yeah, I know.", he interrupted her. "We have to talk." Ziva sighed again and hid her head in Tony's chest. "I don't want to.", she murmured. Then she looked up again and said: "Why can't time just stand still? Just you and me here together, that's how it should be!" Tony smiled sadly: "It could still be like that, you know. You and me waking up together, I mean. But you are going to tell me that it will interfere with work, that it can't happen." "Well, that's true." "Yes, it is. But how is the situation now? This, whatever it is, does already interfere with work. I think my head never hurt that much, because I never got so many head slaps before", he said with a half-smile, before he continued: "You said you'd be worried sick about me. But, Ziva, I worry about you also now all the time, it doesn't matter to me whether we are…together you know, or not. I still worry about you! However if I could just hold you in the evening, in the night, it would repay all that worry and make me feel whole. I just feel like I can't go on without you any more, it's killing me and I come to ask myself how I even made it this far without you." He looked her deep in the eyes. "Please, Ziva!" Ziva said nothing for a long time. Tony's hope slowly turned into fear. She wouldn't reject him, would she? It would destroy him!
Then Ziva broke into a bright smile and kissed him passionately on the mouth. "I love you, Tony." "I love you, too."
That was it then, the beginning of their relationship. The "R"- word was out, but strangely it didn't scare them at all, it just seemed natural.
At first they kept it secret, enjoyed the pleasure of sneaking around behind Gibbs' back, but as things continued and their love for each other only grew, they announced their relationship to their team. Reactions were very different, from pure pleasure (Abby) to shock (McGee), but no reaction was as unexpected as Gibbs's. "Well, if it stops all the bickering and tension, then so be it.", he said with a slight smile. "You deserve some happiness, this job holds enough dangers." Ziva smiled gratefully at Gibbs. He really was the father she never had.
"But, DiNozzo", Gibbs was back to normal, "if I ever catch you two in an elevator, a bathroom or in any other room in this building, you can find yourself a new job." Tony winced at this prospective. Then he mocked hurt: "Hey, boss, why address only me? Ziva is quite into it as well. Just last night-" A hand connected with his head. "Ouch. Yeah, thanks, boss. Needed that."
Smiling he turned back to Ziva and their eyes found each other once again. Everything was good now. They had each other. They'd have a whole life together.
The End
Hope you enjoyed it, '#m very happy with it. Reviews welcome as always.