Going to Happen
"Well, maybe if we're forty, and neither of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?"
He's wearing a big goofy smile like he actually meant it. Apparently, no one wanted me or wanted to have a baby with me. So, why would Chandler? Chandler.
She wants to slap him then, not hard, she thinks, but just enough so he'll know not to mess with her about these things. It's downright mean, he knows, after all, how much she wants a baby or two or three.
But instead of slapping him she says with just as much force, "Why wouldn't I be married when I'm forty?"
And she means it of course, how repulsive is she really? Enough that she'll never get a guy to settle down with her?
He's stammering now, and she thinks, Serves him right. He's saying things about how he didn't really mean it, it's all hypothetical, and she places her hands on her hips, ready to battle with him.
"All right, hypothetically, why wouldn't I be married at age forty?"
She would understand it if she was still fat, but the thing was, she wasn't. She looked absolutely fine in the pictures she saw of herself, there was nothing that guys would sneer or turn their noses up at.
So, what's wrong with her? She tries to convince herself she's still young and has plenty of time. But what if she's still thinking that in twenty years. What if, she tells herself, she thinks that for so many years, she actually dies, still thinking that she's going to find someone?
It's a horrible thought, and she feels heat build up behind her eyes.
She moves toward Chandler (who's still stammering) and lays her head on his chest, the tears falling softly. He puts his arms around her and holds her like that for a while, rubbing her head and trying to tell her it's going to be all right.
Holding her tiny nephew only makes things worse, but she loves him of course, and reminds herself that her brother is divorced and has one which is definitely not as good.
She wants the whole package, a husband who loves her and she loves him back, and their children perfectly content with the life they have.
The events of the day hit her hard, and she goes home dejected and feeling more alone than she ever had.
She goes on a few dates after that, not a lot, not really, but it's a fair number.
Dating Richard for a while was all right, she supposes, and she thought at the time he was the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, but thinking back, he seems more like a placeholder, just there to fill the spot of the person she's actually going to marry.
And then there's Ross, getting married again. She hasn't even gotten married once.
She knows there's going to be a third time though. He's still looking at Rachel like they're in high school and he's got a crush on the head cheerleader. Ugh, is she the only one who sees this?
And Ross doesn't understand Emily. Or any girl for that matter. A wedding is a huge thing.
It's a thing she dreams about quite often, walking down the aisle. It's strange, however, the man she's marrying always seems to look exactly like…
No, she shouldn't dwell on her dreams right now. Helping Ross is a hard subject to talk about.
Her wedding was going to be beautiful, a real grand ceremony. Don't even get her started on the reception.
A few years later, their first child would come along, and her life would be complete.
Plus, she would get to throw it in her mother's face every single chance she got, and that would make the whole thing sweeter. But that's never going to happen.
Especially since she looks like her brother, her older brother could be her son.
Once again, she finds herself in the arms of Chandler for comfort. It wasn't enough though.
She goes to Chandler and Joey's room for Joey. All she wants is a short fling and then never talk about it ever again. Who would be better for that than Joey?
She doesn't exactly know why she kisses Chandler, but she's drunk and looks like an old woman, and just lets the night take her away.
Waking up the next morning beside Chandler didn't feel strange at all. Instead it felt oddly right. Like something in her had clicked and this was the end result.
It was a fling, she tells herself the entire wedding, a fling.
She's so caught up in thought, she barely registers Ross saying Rachel's name.
When she does, she wants to punch him. Her brother, so careless with marriage that he's allowed himself to get divorced twice.
But for the first time in a long while, there's a glimmer of hope.
She has a boyfriend and she's happy.
She's so incredibly joyous, wants to go skipping down every hallway, yelling that she's dating Chandler Muriel Bing, and she's happy.
Well, maybe she should leave out the Muriel part.
Hearing him shout out that he loves her is such an amazing feeling and when she says it back, she knows she means it.
Las Vegas was weird. She wanted to marry him so badly, and she's delirious with joy.
Then Ross and Rachel have to ruin what would be the best moment of her life.
Ross, getting married. Again. For the third time. The third time.
Him moving in with her is a good enough step though. She loves waking up with him in the morning, not having to worry about rushing back to their respected apartments before Rachel or Joey wake up.
They live like that and the glimmer of hope does too.
When he tells her he doesn't want to get married, it absolutely crushes her. She loves him with every part of her soul, it's a love so deep that sometimes she doesn't quite understand it.
And then there's Richard, ready to swoop in as always. She considers him, he's obviously willing to give her a marriage and children. He's funny and sweet and handsome. He checks off the boxes she had created for herself a long time ago.
But he's not Chandler. She tells Richard she'll think about it and goes home. She's not going to think about it. She's going to pack up and leave. Her mind is made up.
Joey's standing in the hall and practically ambushes her.
That's why she stood there in their living room. Waiting for him. She was always waiting for him.
"You wanted it to be a surprise," she says, and it's barely understandable because she thinks anything above a whisper and she'll burst into tears.
His proposal is perfect, she decides, better than she could ever imagine. She's engaged to Chandler Bing and her world is whole. Almost whole anyway.
The wedding is nothing like what she'd dreamed.
She never expected to walk down the aisle towards Chandler, but she couldn't imagine a more amazing wedding than this.
Because she's a bride and Ross isn't there to upstage her.
No, never mind, of course he is.
Rachel's pregnant with his baby. Her best friend thinks she doesn't know, but really, who's baby would it be besides Ross'?
She doesn't care though, because she's married, and she has a husband.
She feels like she's floating when Chandler explains their fertility issues. In all her plotting and scheming for the future this somehow never came up. To her, there was never even a possibility that she couldn't have kids.
But she finds herself back again in Chandler's arms as she cries.
Adopting is a simple decision. They can't have kids? Fine. Just watch.
She's even willing to be a priest and a doctor for her future children. She'll do anything for them, really.
And then she's holding her son. Her son. Their son.
There's Chandler who's holding their daughter.
Oh yeah, and Rachel got off the freakin' plane. She loves both of them so much, but they can't they have one little moment.
All of a sudden, her heart fills up and probably explodes from all the love she's feeling. She's married, and they have two beautiful children. She found it. It only took ten years.
I used a different writing style for this particular story and I'm actually really proud of it. I love writing for Monica. Please review!