Oh, boy, another series.

I spent a lot of time editing this, maybe thrice the amount of time I usually spend editing. Let me know if it made a difference.

If you think you know who Katara will end up with, you are dead wrong. I promise.

I don't own Avatar.

Think About Now

Aang knew how to deal with pain. He did so very often. But that didn't justify how cruelly Katara had treated him during the play, and she knew it. But they had to have that talk at some point. Did she really think she could avoid it for so long?

She had been observing his relationship with pain since they met. When his tattoos weren't glowing with rage, he had two ways to deal with pain. He would run away. He ran away when the air benders wanted to remove him from sight and sound of his lifelong friends. He ran away when the fisherman yelled at him, unwarranted but still scathing. He would even run away from his feelings themselves, as she realized in the Serpent's Pass.

When he wasn't running he was playing. This was a new thing for him. She first saw it at the Western Air Temple when he refused to contribute to any conversation regarding a plan. He wanted to play insted. He relapsed into the goofy kid, the kid who made a slide out of Appa's tail for little kids, much different from the disenchanted young man who woke up after being hit by Azula's lightning, itching for his honor's return.

He didn't want to grow up. Katara knew it already, but it was painfully obvious now. He resented having to leave his childhood behind, sacrificing it to the world, when he would rather be on an air scooter, fleeing from Momo, dangling a piece of fruit just out of reach.

There was only one aspect of growing up he embraced, Katara thought to herself, her stomach churning. He was willing to grow up for her. He had been, at least. She remembered the kiss on the submarine. She would be lying if she said she felt something other than a disturbing physical reaction. It wasn't romantic, just surprising. Once he noticed she was avoiding him during that long exodus from the Fire Nation in disgraceful defeat, he focused his aggression not on her but on growing up. He dove over the edge with his glider with an intention to do loops, running away by playing.

So the playing continued as Momo dove at Aang's face. Aang laughed and pulled at the chattering lemur. He was unable to cease the production of his air scooter, inadvertently spinning it out of control. It wasn't disdainful; in fact, it was rather funny to watch. But it also wasn't attractive.

Zuko scoffed in Aang's direction.

"All he ever does is play," Zuko complained. "He'll work a little bit on fire bending with me, maybe some earth bending, and then he's a dopey kid again." He sighed. "I hope he has what it takes to defeat my father."

"He does," said Katara uncomfortably. She learned a long time ago that she was good at sounding confident even when she wasn't. "He's just working hard, that's all. Don't you like to play around after working all day?"

Zuko kept his eyes on Aang, while Katara found that Zuko's scar was much easier to look at than her accidental love interest.

"I was his age when I was banished," he said sourly. "Even before then, though, I don't remember having a fondness for playing."

Katara laughed, trying to lighten the mood. "You must have had a terrible childhood growing up," she teased.

"Ever since I lost Mom."

If there was any subject that could put a clamp on Katara's attention, it was that of mothers. She knew exactly what Zuko meant. Play stopped almost entirely when her mother died and her father fled to the warfront. It hadn't resumed again until she met Aang, who was now on his staff and in the air, looping around Momo.

Katara put her hand on Zuko's shoulder. "I should thank you again for helping me find the man who killed my mother," she said.

"It was the least I could do."

"It meant a lot to me," continued Katara. "I learned something very important about myself."

"Because you didn't kill him?"

Katara nodded.

Zuko swallowed. "You are very compassionate, Katara," he said, turning back to the goofy kid who called himself a monk. "Until very recently I would have easily taken that man's life if I were in your position." He sighed. "I've spent so much time being controlled by rage and vengeance that I'm having a hard time learning a new way to live."

"You'll figure it out," said Katara encouragingly. "I know you will."

Zuko shook his head, the frustration in his body language painfully evident. "Everything has been one struggle after another. First my mother, the only person who loved me, is taken away. Then I'm banished and sent on a futile quest, cast away from my homeland and everyone I ever knew, save for Uncle. Then I betray him, as well as you all, and then Mai. I've been so confused all my life and I've made a habit of hurting everyone around me while I've tried to sort it out. But how come nothing can come easy for once? All I ever do is work and work and work, and things only get a little better, if that." He scowled at Aang with disgust. "I have no time to play."

Katara put her hand on Zuko's shoulder again. She was good at this sort of thing, comforting someone who was depressed. But she wasn't used to dealing with Zuko, the older boy, the Fire Prince, like this. It came easily to her now, from all the years of practice with her brother, and more recently with Aang.

"I know how you must feel," she cooed. "After my mother died I felt like everyone I knew was counting on me for everything. Sokka, Gran-Gran, and the rest of the tribe. I felt like I couldn't live my own life anymore. But all this suffering, all this pain we've been going through; it's all going to end very soon. We all have a new family now: all of us. And we're so strong together that we can definitely bring peace to the world, and when that happens maybe you'll find some time to do something other than struggle."

She smiled at him, hoping her confident assertions would work. They always seemed to for Aang, but perhaps the older teen would be more skeptical. He turned to her and gave a small smile.

"Thanks, Katara," Zuko said gruffly. "We'll make that come true."

They locked eyes for a moment, and Katara recognized something different in the way Zuko was looking at her, something she couldn't quite place. Come to think of it, there was something in the tone of his voice, too. He kept staring at her, not like he was expecting her to say anything, but more like he simply enjoyed looking at her and had no intention of ever stopping.

Now she recognized that look. It was a look she had received so many times from Aang before, before she understood what they meant.

Katara stood up abruptly, noticing Zuko's eyes follow her.

"I think I'm going to start making some dinner," she said quickly, walking away from him, keeping her eyes away.

"Um, all right," mumbled Zuko. Katara could feel those burning eyes striding just behind her, making her even more confused. "Wait!" called Zuko. "Sokka and Suki haven't come back with the food yet!"

Katara pretended not to hear him. She walked past Aang and Momo, trying to disguise her blush and discomfort in her brisk pace, wishing that Aang wouldn't notice her escape and stop her. So of course Aang stopped her.

"Katara!" he called, riding an air scooter up to her feet, setting himself down in front of her. "Let me show you this new air bending trick! When you carve a little hole in the monkeyberry, like this, then blow into it, it explodes!"

"That's great, Aang," stammered Katara, half sarcastic, half distracted. She noticed for the first time that when the young monk was shirtless as he was now, that his build did not compare to Zuko's handsome, mature body. "But I have to…"

"Watch!" Aang blew into the monkeyberry, sending tiny drops of purple flying through the air, onto Aang's tunic, Katara's dress, and Momo's fur coat. Momo jumped on Katara's shoulder and started licking the dripping juice off her body. It was dreadfully uncomfortable. Aang air bended himself clean, giggling. He acted as if he had forgotten completely that he was in love with her.

"Thank you, Aang," she said starkly. "But I'm really busy right now. With things. Over there." She gestured in some direction and started walking in another. "So I'll see you later, then."

"Okay! Bye!" called Aang. Katara could hear him make another air scooter and speed away.

That kid with the monkeyberry only looked like the mature Avatar who kissed her, but he acted like the goofy honorary brother she found in the South Pole. Was it just his way of dealing with the pain of her saying she was confused? Or was it him trying to earn her attention, trying to subliminally convince her to love him back? Or was it something else entirely? And now there was Zuko, too, giving her kind of look that wanted her all to itself. What was she to do? She didn't want romance! She didn't even think about it! She loved them both like family, but she didn't care to kiss either of them. She simply didn't have that desire!

But obviously they did have that desire, and she knew she would someday have to confront it, probably someday soon. Probably too soon.

Katara sat herself on the beech, watching the push and pull of the waves against the sand. She took a handful of small grains and emptied it slowly, the air blowing them wistfully away.

She had a lot to think about now.

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I will remind you, if you think you know who Katara will end up with, you are dead wrong. I promise.

Going along with the "Samtana doesn't believe in love at first sight" thing, I wanted to show that I believe, no matter how unlikely and out of character, that even Zutara is possible, though it would take a lot of work to do convincingly. I also tell this from Katara's perspective, for now. This is new for me. I am not a woman, so I've avoided letting the reader into her thoughts until now. Hopefully I was adequate.

I think it explains a lot if Aang deals with pain by playing.

I will make enemies by saying this, but I actually think Katara was confused during the Ember Island Players episode. I don't think she's worked it all out yet, and I don't think she understood how painful her words were to Aang. So I'll be working under the starting assumption that she is confused.

So who will help Katara work out her confusion? Keep guessing, but your time is better spent reading. Like this monster-long author's note...

-samtana