An Unwelcome Face

Chapter One: Living On

Everybody thought it was ironic that at the burial of Katara's body, and the official passing of her spirit, it was raining. How appropriate for her to be buried with her own element. Of course since she was a member of the Royal Family of the Firenation she was buried traditionally: surrounded by fire, much to Zuko's dismay. He knew Katara had a troubling past with fire and he wouldn't easily let them send her to the spirit world burning. Zuko demanded the rules be lifted- just this once. Only when Hakoda pulled him aside to explain that Katara knew what she was doing when she married him- and she had accepted it. Contradicting her choices would be disrespectful to her spirit, and memory.

He listened to the Monk recite her relations- reminding him much of the day when his grandfather was buried. Except this time they weren't at the top of a grand staircase in front of the Nation's Army. It was a private burial- only family, new and old friends, and those needed to preform a burial correctly.

To Zuko's right a girl reached right below his hips. She held tightly onto his fingers and refused to cry in front of him. She was a strong girl, and determined to prove it. She had all of Katara's features: dark skin, darker hair, cute nose, and blue eyes. Though her eyes were the shape of Zuko's ancestors', the color was all waterbender. It almost hurt too much to look at his own daughter because he feared seeing his passed wife instead.

They both wore traditional Firenation burial clothing, but had the Watertribe insignia printed on there topmost clothing article.

Before he knew it the burial had finished and people he couldn't match name to face came and payed there respects. The good old gang was there- grieving the passing of their closest friend. Hakoda was there too, but had more of a grip on himself then everyone else. He didn't look at lost or distant like Sokka or Aang did. But he had lost his wife before, he knew what it was liked.

Then Suki was in front of him speaking the language he spoke all his life but couldn't understand a word. From old knowledge he assumed she was saying something of a soul passing safely and peacefully. Somewhere between unimportant faces popped up Toph's: older and more mature, with signs of an experienced life. She struggled for some comforting words; but it not being her forte she resigned with a light, trembling grip on his upper arm. An unusual gesture coming from Toph, only few people ever got it.

Aang approached him hesitantly; despite his now tall and muscled frame he seemed awkward in front of Zuko. Of all the things Zuko expected Aang to say, what he did was not one of them, "Thank you," He said in his friend voice- which had became deeper as he got older. In the past Zuko usually only saw him as the Avatar, but today he was indeed just here as their best friend. "You gave K-Katara everything she needed, and wanted. She may have died young, but she died happy. And that's all any of us could ever want." The clasped in a friendly hug.

"Visit more often Aang," Zuko replied. "Kya likes it when you're around."

"Any time," He replied. Aang then moved on to say goodbye to Kya, who was now sobbing into Suki's robes- looking for a motherly figure to go to.

"Zuko," Sokka approached him, now free from all the other grievers' respects. "Thanks for caring for my sister- she loved you, a lot, and I wanted to say t-that I'm sorry."

"For what?" He inquired.

"For never trusting you. I was selfish, and I didn't want Katara under anyone's eye but mine, or my dad's. But you've been a great friend to me and I was still worried."

A few moments went by when neither of them said nothing. Finally Zuko spoke posing fake humor through his teeth, trying to pass as, "You sure got better at you speaking skills. You didn't mention anything about meat or any other food."

In return Zuko received a grin and another friendly hug.

Sokka continued on to his momentarily recovered niece.

Zuko turned to walk away but a wide shouldered figure stopped him. "Zuko," Hakoda greeted fatherly.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to go on," He confided immediately. His voice cracked as he continued. "She was always there when anything happened- even when nothing happened!"

Hakoda put a reassuring hand on Zuko's shoulder, "You still have Kya. You'll go on with her."

"But how do I move on!?" He demanded. "I can't depend on my daughter for some things. How did you do it? How did you move on when your wife died?"

Hakoda took a moment to think, obviously remembering his wife and daughter at the same time. "I didn't," He admitted.

"What?"

"I never moved on, and I pray to the spirits every night that I won't. I still love her as a wife, and I still love Katara as a daughter. Instead of moving on, I lived on. Living on and moving on are different things, and in the ten years I've known you personally, I can say you're perfectly capable of living on."

The time came that Zuko had to say goodbye to his last respect payer. He reached his hand out to clasp near Hakoda's elbow, as they always did in a sign of neutral respect, but he was cut of by Hakoda's hand in his- a normal handshake, between father-in-law and son-in-law.

When Hakoda left Zuko notice a piece of jewelry left in his hand- Katara's necklace. The blue shell with the wedding engravings held like lead in his hand. It hurt to look at it, because it's hard to look at Katara's mother's necklace without imagining her face with it.

"Daddy, I want to say goodbye to Mommy, one last time," A familiar voice broke through Zuko trance. Kya led him to Katara's grave. The rain began to pour and it seemed like hours as they stood there staring at her gravestone.

"Daddy," She repeated, sliding her hand into his, "Let's go home."

Out of no where it seemed to catch up to him that Katara was never going to be there to ask him how his day was. What was wrong when he was worried. Be there when he needed comforting lips to kiss. Be around to inquire about. Make funny faces with his daughter as they mocked him across the room while he pretended not to notice. Or comfort Kya in the motherly way she did.

She was not going to be there ever again to make them laugh or be happy the way only she could make them.

Zuko fell to his knees sobbing onto Kya. He hugged her tightly so she couldn't disappear; His forehead rested on one of her shoulders. He could feel her trembling but subconsciously knew she refused to cry. "You're all I have left," He managed through the pour rain.

"Don't worry about Mommy, Avatar Roku will take care of her."

~*~

Two Weeks Later

Mai resided in the courtyard with Kya, teaching her which rocks would skip in the small pond. Everyone was trying to fit as much time in with Kya so she wouldn't feel lonely. Though Mai wasn't spending any more time with her than she usually did.

After it became clear that her feelings for Zuko, and his for her, were no more then a child's crush, they reshaped their relationship into one more of a family bond. With this came Mai's role in Kya's life. When ever she was in the palace away from Governess jobs she played the rule breaking aunt. If Katara wasn't around she'd teach Kya how to throw random objects so that they could hit a desired target. Or when Zuko wasn't in ear shot, embarrassing stories of his childhood were revealed. It was always a game for the two: whether stealing cookies from the kitchen, or siting across from each other during an important dinner.

Now was no different. Mai would not give her any special treatment to use as a crutch to heal on. She would treat Kya the same to show she wasn't trying to be molded into a cushion for her support.

"Will this one work?" Kya asked bringing up a small, jagged rock for Mai to inspect.

"No, there's no flat bottom see," Mai responded pointing at the many leveled bottom. "Try to find one with a completely flat bottom.

After failing the classification of many non-flat-bottomed rocks Kya gave up and slumped down next to Mai by the pond. She found her head slumped against her Aunt's shoulder with boredom.

"How's your dad doing?" Mai asked for a bit of conversation.

The child shrugged and followed with a melancholic voice, "I dunno. I haven't seen him for a few days...."

"What? You must have seen him at meals at least!"

A shake was the response this time, "He eats in his office... alone."

"How long has he been in his office?"

Another shrug and a yawn, "Five or six days...."

Mai sprung up with frustration, "THAT MAN! Doesn't even take a meal out of his grieving to spend with his daughter!" Grumbling furiously, she stomped off toward the Fire Lord's office, leaving Kya slumping, to stare at the rippling pond.

~*~

"Governess, you can't enter. The Fire Lord requests no visitors," The Guards dutifully recited, though shivering inside of the things they've heard of the Governess Mai. Their spears were crossed in front of the door that they stood either side of. Both looked exhausted and routine stricken. They must be the daytime guards.

"You damn well let me in that room to speak to that spirit-forsaken man or so help me, I will make sure there is no easy way for either of you to detach yourselves from the throne room ceiling without an obscure amount of blood loss!" She bellowed at the men.

"W-we're sorry, it's the Fire Lord's-"

Mai's now revealing knife silenced him as he opened the door with difficulty and announced her arrival, "Govern-"

"I SAID NO VISITORS!" Zuko's long unheard anry voiced rushed out of the office. "Oh... Mai...."

"-ess Mai"

There was an awkward silence as three of the four people were unsure of how to proceed. Mai starred Zuko down the way she did an enemy- cold and unfriendly.

"Come in, please," Zuko's automatic Fire Lord manners took over.

An unpleasant smile curled on her lips as she entered nobly into his dark and stuffy office. It smelt of sweat, dust, and lack of sunlight.

"Dismissed," Zuko nodded to the guards. Hesitantly they obeyed and closed the doors with uneasy hands. When the door close Mai attacked.

A crisp, well deserved slap met Zuko's unrested face, "What is your problem?!" She demanded first. "You've been in here for seven days straight, you haven't slept, neglected your country and you haven't even seen your daughter in this time! Do you know what she must be going through!?"

Just recovered from the slap, Zuko makes a comeback, "I am the Fire Lord! I have to work. I'm not neglecting my country; just ending to it in a different manner!"

"Don't you sneak around a lie with me! You've locked yourself In here to ignore your child. You can't stand to look at her because every time you do you see Katara. That's right I said her name: KATARA, KATARA, KATARA, KATARA, FIRE LADY KATARA FROM THE SOUTHERN WATERTRIBE! KATARA, KATARA, KATARA, DECEASED WIFE OF THE FIRE LORD. KATARA DAMMIT!"

"HOW DARE YOU!" Zuko roared with intentions to slap her back, but couldn't bring himself to do it. "First you intrude on my work, then you assault me, and dare to accuse me of avoiding my daughter!"

"How dare I!?" She fired back. "Your daughter, your daugh-ter! You haven't seen her in a week. No one's seen you except the messenger and your menservants! You're killing yourself over sleepless nights and hours of work that aren't even useful," Zuko's reddening face slipped a douse of confusion. "Yes, Zuko, everyone's been talking about how your work's failing in quality and accuracy. They say it's because you were so weak, you had to depend on Katara for your strength! It's almost true; You're so weak minded that you work is slipping and you're not thinking about anyone but yourself. Kya misses you- you of all people should know what it's like to not have a dad around. But I'll tell you something: Kya now knows what it's like to not have a good dad around!"

Their eyes lock with tension as Zuko's face swiftly lessens in color back to his usual pale state. For once in two weeks his head is empty. Mai's hurtful, true, and loud words pushed all thoughts out of his head. Slowly the only thing he was thinking about was his daughter who he could pick out little details that were all her own and not Katara's. He had been selfish to only see his wife's face in his daughter's.

He crumpled into Mai's arms. She fumbled to hold him up in this common sign of friendship known as a hug. "Thank you," He muttered into her ear, then took off out the door- feeling the fresh air hit him like a cold wave.

Mai straightened her clothes and regained her balance to walk out of the room.

"Governess?" The guard who hadn't spoken before asked with a bow.

"Hm?"

"Thank you."

~*~

Both father and daughter sat by the turtleduck pond laughing and hearing each other's stories. Kya told him about her excellence in object throwing, while in return Zuko recited some memories he had with his mother that he treasured- hoping she could have some too with him.

"Daddy?" She said after a cute moment of quiet thought. She place her palm on his and compared sizes, "I love you."

"I love you."