We always thought he was okay. Sure, we all knew he had a rough life; he had struggled with depression before. Sure, we all knew he had his days where he felt like giving up. We've all heard him when he did; banging on the walls, kicking his chair over at times and crashing loud enough for all of Seoul to hear. We knew he was like this because he worked the hardest being a BTS member and producer, locked up in his room for days without coming out. It was reasonable he would snap and go crazy once in a while; actually, we thought it was good for him to let loose a bit at times, so long it wasn't frequently.
I have no special connection to Yoongi Hyung. In fact, he's the most distant out of all of us. He hates telling us how he feels, he's not fond of sweet talk or deep emotional chats, and he has no intention of spilling his whole life story to BTS. Frankly, I don't believe he trusts us that much just because he's afraid that one second it might be just us, but then it'll be all over the internet the next second. But not too long ago, I felt like something was off with him, something within him was damaged more than it already was. He hadn't gone more quiet than to begin with. It was anything but that. He was almost the complete opposite, and all of Bangtan love it.
However, I felt like he's putting up for show. Maybe he's hiding a weaker self within him; maybe he's covering up a pain that's twisting a knot in his heart, and I'm sure I know why. If it weren't for what happened, maybe he wouldn't have changed so much.
For a while I still felt like that, but it didn't bother me as much. We had all grown adapted to his personality now; we all just accepted it as we did with anything else. We knew he would still stay the love able Min Yoongi we always loved and knew. But these days, we all wish that one of us were a fortune teller, a physic.
Because we had no idea how wrong we were.