The man I want to be

Prologue

Randy had it all money and fame he was currently the undisputed champion but he'd never felt so alone professionally he was having the best run of his career but personally it was all falling apart. Six months ago he had it all and for some stupid reason he couldn't see it and he stupidly threw it all away. Randy was working so hard but his career was going nowhere but he couldn't give up wrestling meant the world to him so if it meant doing more shows and wrestling more than he had in years he was going to do it he needed to be the number one superstar in wrestling not for the money, just to prove to everyone he was the best wrestler out there who always gave one hundred percent. Wrestling was his life it was in his blood it's all he's ever known and he wasn't going to turn into just another jobber.

The only other thing Randy had in his life was wrestling was his now ex fiance former WWE diva Lita. They were together for eight years and he'd never been happier than when he was with her. They went through so much together and he still loved her with all his heart. All Lita wanted was for him to come home more because she missed him and he just broke her heart telling her over the phone he couldn't and if she couldn't accept wrestling was his top priority then the best thing would be for them to break up she begged him to come home so they could talk about it. But he'd already made up his mind and john told him how much of an idiot he is and how could he break up with the love of his life over the phone. Randy knew John was right it was a really shitty thing to do but he wasn't going to blow his opportunity and now look at him he was the undisputed champion of the world, but now it didn't mean as much to him as he thought it would and he knew why it's because Lita isn't there by his side supporting him like she always did and it was all his fault.

These past six months have been the hardest of Lita's life she'd never felt so broken she tried to call Randy but he wouldn't answer her calls so after a few months she gave up trying. Even though it broke her heart she continued to watch him every Monday for Raw and she couldn't be more proud of him it just broke her heart he thought he couldn't achieve all this with her instead of thinking only of himself. She was still so mad at him for breaking up with her the way he did you don't do that to anyone, but as much as she was mad at him she missed him so much this was the longest time they've been apart since they got together all those years ago. Lita had read all these stories in the tabloids of him dating this girl called Jo Jo from total divas and she really hoped that wasn't true she didn't think her heart could take that.

Even though it broke her heart everyday Lita couldn't move out of their home it reminded her of the wonderful years they spent together her mom wanted her to move back to Atlanta but she couldn't Cameron had become her home long before she was even with Randy and when they got together in 2006 she told him about her dream of building a house in the countryside and he shared the same dream and helped her with the design and everything it's what brought them so close and she loved their home nearly as much as she loved him. Lita knew Randy was back living in St Louis and she often thought about going there and seeing him but the Jo Jo rumors she knew she couldn't handle it if she saw them together so she stayed away.

Trish and Jeff had really been there for her these last through months and she didn't know what she'd do without them they were the best friends she could ever ask for. They only lived a few minutes away so with Jeff being with TNA Trish was with Lita a lot it filled the days with things to do and took her mind of Randy being gone from her life.

Chapter 1

Randy had just finished another Monday night Raw and he was heading where he always headed after the show the hotel bar, John tried to help him out of this slump he was in but Randy knew the only thing he needed in this world was Lita and he threw it all away and he was just too stupid to realise and now the only thing that numbed the pain of her not being there was alcohol he could at least forget even if it's just for one night.

Due to it being Christmas they were spending a week in Texas so at least he could say he wasn't getting drunk all other the country he was going to the same bar every night while he was there. Whiskey was his favored drink of choice at the moment it always seemed to get him drunk and depressed like he deserved to feel after what he did to Lita he deserved all the pain he got.

"I take it it's a woman son" this old guy asked as he sat next to him.

"Huh" Randy mumbled he really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone right now he just wanted to be left alone.

"I've seen you in here the last few nights getting the same drink and I thought to myself that guys got women problems it's the drink of choice, I'm just an old southern soul and whiskey is the drink for the broken hearted" The old man said as he saw the pain in Randy's eyes maybe him talking to him will help.

"Yeah I guess you could say I'm broken, see I broke the only woman I ever loved, will ever love's heart and there's nothing I can do to change it" Randy cried as he downed another shot of Whiskey.

"What did you do that was so bad" The man asked he knew how he was feeling he lost his wife a few months ago and he was lost without her also.

"I broke up with her thinking it could help my career and technically it worked I've never accomplished more but I'm broken it feels like I've got nothing, it doesn't mean as much to me as I thought it would being the best isn't worth it anymore I just want to be able to go home tell her I'm sorry but I can't I don't deserve her of her love" Randy cried as he took another shot.

"You should never feel too proud to say you're sorry what I wouldn't give to say just anything to my wife. I know you done wrong for not putting her first but I'm sure she'll understand your job is important to you she's probably at home missing you right now as well. Just don't give up if you love this girl as I'm pretty sure you do or you wouldn't be sitting he right now. Then fight for her and never let her go because you'll never know what it like when it's too late and you can't have her back" The man said as hoping he got through to the young man who reminded him of himself in his younger days.

"I just think I'm too late it's been six months and I've been ignoring her all this time what if she's moved on" Randy cried hoping to god she hasn't not that he could blame her after what he done but the thought of her being with someone else shattered his heart into a million pieces.

"Then if she's moved on then you need to try and move on too, I guess I should be listening to my own advice but I'm too old to move on and quite frankly I don't want to she was my everything for fifty years and no one can or could compare to her" the old man smiled thinking about his wife.

"I'm sorry to hear about you wife, that what I wanted with Lita a lifetime of happiness but how can I expect her to forgive me when I can't even forgive myself for the pain I've caused her" Randy cried.

"Then son go and find out if she'll forgive you, you owe it to her and yourself to at least try and please take it from me you need to tell her how you really feel before it's too late and you really do lose her forever" The man said as he got up to leave it was getting late and he knew his son would come looking for him soon.

"Thanks so much your right I have to at least try" Randy said as he got up.

"Good luck son I hope it all works out for you" the man said as he shook this young man's hand he had a feeling everything was going to work out alright for the young couple.

Lita was getting ready for bed after another late night of trying to sleep without him even with him being on the road she always felt his presences probably because she used to fall asleep to his voice on the phone and now she had nothing and no one.

It had been another hard day she was trying so hard not to just ring him but she knew she couldn't she couldn't take another night of him ignoring her calls. Then to her surprise while she was tossing and turning in bed her phone bleeped she put it on silence hoping it wouldn't disturb her while she tried to sleep but it didn't work with it flashing. She wondered who it could be so late at night then she decided to finally pick it up it was obviously important or they wouldn't be ringing at this awful late hour. To her surprise it said Randy in the caller ID she had to wipe her eyes to see if she was hallucinating but no he really was calling her she thought about ending the call but as much as she wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt her she couldn't so she answered it "hello"

"Hi" Randy broke out shocked that she actually answered.

"What do you want Randy" Lita asked after moments of silence that felt like a lifetime.

"Li baby I'm so sorry" Randy slurred his words he knew he shouldn't have drunk so much.

"Are you drunk" Lita asked she knew he was she could tell but why was he ringing her.

"Li I'm so miserable without you baby please forgive me" Randy slurred his words as he sat on the bed hoping to steady his now wobbly legs.

"No Randy that's not fare you don't get to drunk call me in the middle of the night after months of silence why don't you call Jo Jo I'm sure she'll keep you company because I'm done Randal Keith Orton" Lita said as she hung up the phone how could he keep breaking her heart like this.

"Huh what Jo Jo what the hell what was Lita talking about" Randy mumbled he couldn't believe what just happened and the finality in her voice he knew know he had to go home and try he couldn't live without her anymore.

End of chapter please review and tell me what you think thanks for reading.