WISHFUL THINKING

This wasn't how it was supposed to be, Cavil told himself. There was no voice; nothing that told him Resurrection was anything more than an assembly job.

"Why am I here?" He was floating in another vat of white liquid. One of the Number Six models was kneeling beside him.

"You're here because it's God's will," her soothing voice answered.

Cavil started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Number Six asked, slightly annoyed.

"God's will. I can't tell you how many times I've heard that ever since my first resurrection. And you wanna know something? I'm sick of hearing it."

"That's blasphemy!" Another familiar face, one of the Number Fives, stepped into view. "I told you keeping this model around was a mistake."

"What are you going to do-kill me?" This time Cavil's laugh was bitter. "Been there, done that."

"Would you leave us alone for a minute?" Number Six looked at the Aaron Doral model. "We have some things to discuss."

Doral frowned, but left. "All right, Cavil, now that we're alone…what has gotten into you? You were one of the highest-ranking members of the Cylon priesthood; now all of you sound like this."

"What happened? I woke up, that's what happened." Cavil paused. "Ever since I can remember, I've been told that there's a bright light when we die; that we're taken into God's embrace when we're Resurrected and our souls are always in His hands."

"That's what the scripture tells us," Number Six acknowledged.

"Yeah. Well…there's no light. You want to know why? Because we're machines. We're programmed to 'believe' in some higher power because that's the way we were built. It's a scam; that's all it is."

Cavil could see the doubt in Number Six's eyes as he spoke, but when she replied her voice was filled with righteous denial.

"We are more than machines-we're God's chosen people, not like our predecessors. There's a reason for everything, Cavil, and we just have to accept that as part of God's plan."

"You know what happened the first time I was Resurrected?" Cavil responded as if she hadn't spoken. "I was an agent on Sagitarron when they were under occupation by the other colonies. I posed as one of their ministers then. I was proud of my job. I thought I could help these people see the wisdom of God's plan and maybe get them to convert to our side without having to go to war. Then the rebellion began, and I saw what these good, decent, religious people were willing to do to each other in the name of one cause or another. I got caught in a bombing of the police barracks in the capitol city there. One of their ministers, who thought I was dying for real, tried to give me last rites. You know what he said? 'The Gods will provide.' That was the last thing I remembered. The next thing I knew, I was in a tank like this one, and one of the Sharon models was standing over me, saying the same thing. Well, I've got news for you: There is no God in that tank, or on the Resurrection Ship. The humans are like wild animals when all their precious civilization and laws are taken away from them. They're not worthy of a God's love. And we shouldn't keep trying to be like them." Cavil closed his eyes. "I'd like to rest now. Let me know when I can get out of this tub and get on wit my next assignment."

Number Six silently left him behind. She knew in her heart that Cavil was wrong, at least about God. After all, why have a belief if it wasn't real? Maybe someday he'd learn.

Don't count on it, sister, she thought she heard Cavil saying in her mind as she walked down the corridor.

THE END