My First Ever Television Appearance
One, early, cold dark morning at 4:00 AM, I was sleeping in my bedroom.
I was being joined by the stars of the hit Nickelodeon show, Victorious, Victoria Justice and Ariana Grande after having the opportunity to meet them the day before.
The girls were wide awake because Victoria received a phone call from the people of her show saying they were planning to film/air a new episode, but wasn't sure what to call it or what plot to give it.
She requested that the plot should be how the cast gets a chance to meet me, to title the episode Meet Mark, and to make it a 1-hour special from 7-8 PM and the best part, I'd be playing my own-self.
"Mark's gonna flip!" said an excited Ariana
When they woke me up, it scared me to death that I nearly fell out of the bed and hollered "YEAH MONTOYA, YOU'VE GOT IT!" as I was in the middle of a dream.
"Easy, Mark" Victoria said to me "We have some wonderful news for you"
I was willing to know.
They told me I was invited to appear on their show and I went bonkers.
"Calm down" Ariana said to me "We've got a lot of stuff to pack to drive to California"
I packed all of my Juan Pablo Montoya shirts (I ended up putting on my newest JPM #42 Target shirt on), my JPM #42 sunglasses, hat, jacket, and sweatshirt (which I also decided to wear on the trip), both my Home (white) and Away (black) outfit of my favorite NBA Team/Player Tim Duncan (#21) of the San Antonio Spurs (Jersey, Team Shorts, NBA socks, adidas TD #21 sneakers), my 2002 SAS Basketball, in which Victoria filled with air for me, my Laptop and headphones, all of my Ricky Martin CDs, my Crocs, my PS2 and PS3 with PS1, PS2, and PS3 games (plus my NASCAR Unleashed Download Disc), some summer clothing, some pajamas and more.
After packing everything and getting set, we walked out of the door, climbed into Ariana's car (a 2012 Dodge Journey), and before going on the long trip, we stopped at Denny's for breakfast.
We got there, ate, paid, and left.
Then, after so many hours of driving while eating a quick lunch and stopping at Rest Areas along the way, we finally arrived in California, and settled in a House-Type Hotel.
I packed my TD #21 outfits and Laptop and headphones, put on my JPM #42 sunglasses and hat (I kept the sunglasses on my head), and the rest of my belongings.
With this, we were on our way to Nickelodeon On Sunset on Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood, California, where we got word we'd be filming and airing at the same time.
We made it there, went to the show's stage, where the Cast was waiting for us.
Then, we started to film and air and the episode began with Victoria and Ariana (as their title characters Tori Vega and Cat Valentine) bringing me to Hollywood Arts High School (the school on the show) for their friends to meet me.
"Hey everyone" Tori said to everyone "Cat and I would like you to meet a new friend of ours"
The characters Andre Harris (Leon Thomas III), Robbie Shapiro (Matt Bennett), Jade West (Elizabeth
Gillies), Beck Oliver (Avan Jogia), and Trina Vega
(Daniella Monet), who are a part of the cast with Victoria and Ariana, had no idea who in the world I was.
"Who is this kid and where did he come from?" asked Jade
"This is Mark Oliveras" replied Tori
Afterwards, I shook all of their hands.
"Tori, have you lost your mind?" asked Trina in total disbelief "He's a kid who we've never seen before who comes from Up the East Coast! Why did you bring him here?"
"I'm here to meet you and for you to get to know me better" I replied
"He loves NASCAR" informed Cat
With this statement, Jade started giving me her "Mean Girl" attitude
"NASCAR is for losers" she said to me "All it is cars going around in circles over 200 times"
"Say what you want" I replied "It's the BEST sport ever"
"No, I can think of better sports than that stupid stuff" said Jade "I guess you're one of those NASCAR loving losers"
I started getting really angry with her
"Don't mess with me, or else Montoya will run you over at 200 MPH with his racecar!" I warned as I took off my sweatshirt and pointed to my JPM #42 T-shirt
The gang ooo'ed at this statement
"I would love to see that dumb Mexican guy try!" Jade said to me
"Jade, that's rude!" scolded Robbie "Don't be racist!"
Then, I got even angrier, grabbed her by the shirt, and got in her face.
"OK, first of all, he's Colombian! I hope you know" I angrily yelled "Secondly, when people make me really angry, I say that JPM will run them over with his racecar"
"Calm down, guys" commanded Beck "Let's go to the house and have some fun"
We agreed, went to Tori's house and I decided to have Cat do her own version of the catchphrase of NASCAR on Fox analyst, Darrell Waltrip.
"What's the phrase?" asked Cat
"It's 'Boogity, Boogity, Boogity! Let's Go Racin' Boys!'" I explained "DW says that every time the cars take the green flag to start the race"
After some explaining, she immediately thought of something and Tori and I stood close and got everyone's attention.
Cat put on a NASCAR hat and we were all set.
"Off your seat and on your feet, it's time to go Green Flag! Boogity, Boogity, Boogity! WHOO, that's the Los Angeles, California style baby!" Cat said
Then, her, Tori, and I cracked up laughing.
"Hey, Mark" Trina said to me "Can you sing for us?"
"Oh yeah!" I replied "I'll sing for all of you!"
So, I started my laptop, opened up Audacity, loaded my song, modified the pitch a bit, and hooked it up to the loud speakers/radio in the living room.
The gang gathered around and sat down on the couch.
I walked to the system, turned up the volume to "High", hit the play button, the Spanish Version of the hit 1999 Ricky Martin song Livin' La Vida Loca played and I started singing and doing the dance moves from the video.
"Are we singing Spanish songs here?" wondered Robbie
"This is gonna be a nightmare" moaned Beck
Nobody except Cat and Tori could understand a word I was saying as the 2 of them were dancing along to the music in their seats with Tori filming me.
"Who in the world is singing this strange song?" asked a clueless Jade
"This is Ricky Martin" replied Tori
Though most of the gang didn't understand me, they laughed at some of my dance moves.
I continued singing while doing the dance moves from the video and the gang continued cracking up.
Then, the song ended, they all gave me a standing ovation, and I took a bow.
"Awesome job, Ricky!" Cat said to me, referring to me as Martin
"Thanks" I gladly replied
"What in the world were you saying?" asked a clueless Robbie "I couldn't understand you"
"Singing Ricky Martin is the only time when I can speak full Spanish" I replied "Sorry if nobody understood me"
Then, I went to the bathroom to change into my Home TD #21 outfit.
"Where is he going?" asked Jade
After awhile, I grabbed my 2002 SAS ball, and came out.
"As you can see he's a basketball fan as well" Tori said to everyone, referring to me
"Why the Spurs?" asked Trina
Then, Jade started giving me her attitude again
"Go move to Texas" she said to me "It's all about the Lakers here"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah whatever" I replied "Tim Duncan is the greatest Power Forward in NBA History"
"Oh, is that so?" Jade said to me "How about we go back to the school and play a 1-on-1 game"
We agreed and went back to the school and walked into the gym.
Cat and Tori were rooting for me but everybody else was rooting for Jade.
The number to reach for the win was 21.
I had the ball first and hit a floater over Jade.
"Nothin' but net for Tim Duncan" said Tori
Then, Jade went for a layup but I blocked it and managed to get the ball back.
I put up a long 2 over her and scored.
I continued dominating her like crazy.
"Right now it's a steady diet of Tim Duncan being fed to Jade West" said Cat
She only scored twice.
To win the game, I drove to the lane, jumped up, and dunked in her face as she tried to block it.
With this, everybody went crazy.
"Oh my God!" exclaimed Tori "Jade just got Posterized by Tim Duncan!"
"I told you Timmy D #21 is one of the greatest" I said "And, he will be in the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame one day and there's NOTHING anybody can do about it"
"You were right Mark" replied Jade
So, I walked into the Locker Room, changed back into my regular clothes and I walked out of the building without realizing there was nobody behind me.
The gang had gotten captured by the evil Vice Principal Dickers (Rob Riggle), who put them into a Library for a detention for no reason at all.
I was so devastated and angry because I've seen this guy's evil ways before.
So, I went back to Tori's house and wrote a mean song about him.
I drank a special 20 oz. bottle of Coke which gave me the power to use my head to remove Gravity from anybody I wanted.
Then, my phone rang.
It was Tori, who was in panic mode and needed me so badly.
"Mark!" she exclaimed through the phone "You've gotta come and save us! Hurry before things get worse!"
"Don't worry, I'm on my way" I replied
So, I walked over to the school and walked inside.
Dickers had guards guarding both sides of the hall and knowing that I was coming to the rescue, they tried to grab at me but I punched them in the face from left to right.
I made it up to the Library and everybody's faces lit up.
"Tori, everyone, are you guys OK?" I asked them
"Mark, look out!" exclaimed Trina
I looked behind me and Dickers was right behind me and he was NOT happy at all.
"Who are you?" he asked me
"I'm Mark Oliveras" I replied "I didn't come for you, you evil Nincompoop, I came for Tori and her friends"
"So you think you can help them!" Dickers said to me
"Oh, I know I can" I replied as I started to get angry with him "Release them now or else Montoya will run you over!"
"Good one, Mark!" exclaimed Robbie "Get at him!"
"Is that a threat?" Dickers asked me "I can take that to the Police. Who is he anyway?"
"He's my favorite NASCAR driver who drives the #42 Target Chevy" I replied pointing to my JPM #42 T-Shirt
Then, I sang my song to him, which is called Dickers Got Run Over by Montoya which uses the tune of the hit Christmas song Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer.
"Dickers got run over by Montoya" I sang "Walking home from his job Tuesday night. You can say that NASCAR isn't a sport, but as for me and daddy we believe"
The gang went crazy and gave me another standing ovation.
Dickers started getting so scared of me.
Then, I opted to use my Head Super Power.
"Alright Dickers, let's go for a spin" I said to him as I lifted him off the ground with my Power
"Mark, no!" he moaned
"Mark, YES!" I added
Then, as he was in mid-air, I spun him around in Circles and kept spinning and kept spinning and spinning and spinning until he got dizzy.
After awhile, I threw him against the wall.
This gave us plenty of time to escape.
We made it out and the gang all picked me up and considered me as a hero.
"Thank you so much Mark for saving us" Andre said to me "You're our hero"
"You're very welcome" I replied "And thank you too. It means a lot"
Then, once we got home, they had informed me they had written a song for me.
Before singing it, they offered me to be a part of their group forever, meaning I would permanently be a part of the show's main cast for the rest of it's run.
"Stop lying!" I exclaimed in total shock
"No we don't lie" replied Tori "We're telling the truth"
I went crazy, squeezed Tori, and because I was so overly elated, I started crying.
"You know how much this means to me?" I asked "I love you Tori!"
"Awwh, thanks" she replied "I'm glad you're happy. I love you too"
Jade was not at all happy with this move.
"Oh, no!" she moaned/complained "Now I have to deal with a NASCAR lover!"
"Oh, stop whining" commanded Cat "Mark is a new member of our group and it's staying that way!"
Jade wanted to go out the window and in the middle of the street.
She went to do that but Trina stopped her.
"Time to sing his welcome song" informed Tori
The welcome song they had was their own version of Livin' La Vida Loca titled Hangin' In LA With Mark
They had looked up my Facebook to find out some of my interests that should be an important mention in the song, plus they had found an Instrumental Version of the song with the same beat from the original with Martin's vocals removed and the pitch a bit higher and put it on a CD.
They put it in the stereo, the song began, and they all started singing.
First, they sang the opening verse, which said "Hey Mark, welcome to our big group. Racecars and basketball, we feel a premonition, oh yeah we will have some fun. We're looking forward to it and are excited too. Thank God Tori and Cat brought you to California. We hope you'll have a wonderful time with us in this group. You saved us from the evil Vice Principal Dickers. You are a hero to us, come on!"
The 1st Chorus lyrics read "Juan Pablo Montoya, Livin' La NASCAR Loco. KMFDM, Dodge Viper, it's time to play Test Drive 5. Tim Duncan, San Antonio Spurs, NBA Mayhem. You're an awesome boy. Hangin' In LA With Mark, Hangin' In LA With Mark, we're Hangin' In LA With Mark"
I was totally hysterical and couldn't stop laughing
The 2nd verse said "You sing Ricky Martin songs in Spanish very well. You impressed us with that huge performance, we'll always remember it. We also hope you'll like the songs we ourselves sing as well. You are such a good singer and dancer too, we hope to see more of that"
The 2nd Chorus said "Buzz Lightyear, Crash Bandicoot, Kickin' It With Some Fiction. Wheel of Fortune, Jeopardy! Time to win some big money. Dale Earnhardt #3, Drivin' In Racing Heaven. We're so glad you're here. Hangin' In LA With Mark, Hangin' In LA With Mark, we're Hangin' In LA With Mark"
I was laughing so hysterically and hard that I couldn't stop at all to speak.
They repeated the end of the first Verse once again and moved on to the 3rd Chorus which said "Earnhardt Ganassi Racing, Cruisin' In Some Fast Chevys. Steak, Coca-Cola, we'll have all your favorite foods. He's about to scream "Look Out!" while we're in the car driving. We just wrecked, the Po-Po's here, Hangin' In LA With Mark"
Then, the final Chorus said "Big Red, Juicy Fruit, Chewin' Up Some Awesome Gum. We can't wait to hear your Activity Theme Songs. As well as your Word Moves and Situation Phrases. You are a true friend. Hangin' In LA With Mark, Hangin' In LA With Mark, we're Hangin' In LA With Mark"
I was laughing so hard and hysterically that I started crying and ended up on the floor.
To end the song, the gang sang the following: "Hangin' In LA With Mark. We love you, love you, love you, love you to death Mark. We love you so very much"
It was over and I was still rolling on the floor crying from laughing so hard.
"Awwh, he's crying!" said Cat
Tori, Cat, and Jade came to my aid to make sure I was alright.
"Are you alright?" Tori asked me
"Yeah, I'm fine" I replied calming down a little bit "That was hilarious. Thank you"
"You're welcome" Jade said to me "We're glad you liked it"
Afterwards, the episode ended, we all left the studio, the gang went back to their normal-selves, and we drove all the way back to the Hotel.
Nickelodeon had planned to re-air the episode the following day at 7:30 PM as the show's 2nd episode of a 1-hour marathon and the best thing, the whole Cast promised me that they would include the song on the show's soundtrack as one of the featured songs from the series as well as my JPM #42 song with only my vocals, meaning I would be credited with performing that song, even though it's brief.
I opened the door and we all walked inside.
We took showers, changed into our pajamas, brushed our teeth, and set up our sleeping arrangements.
Victoria, Ariana, and I opted to sleep in the living room (me on the bed, and them on the floor in Sleeping Bags) and everybody else opted to sleep in 3 different bedrooms which had 2 beds in 2 rooms and 1 bed in another.
We set everything up and fell asleep.
It was one of the most memorable and most amazing adventures I've ever had in a long time and I had plenty of fun.
THE END