A little bit of light-hearted 'fun' set in the same universe as "You Can Break Me but Can't Take My Pride". Vegeta is 11 and Raditz is 16

Credit where credit is due:

This story is brought to you courtesy of Jacked Doritos(™) and Under8000

Thanks to MegaKat for allowing me to borrow her Saiyan Language

And of course a big thank you to my beta reader TheAsh0

Saiyan Words used:

Getau - friends/allies

Heu - gods

Ji'tach - a Saiyan fighting team

Ma'tapa - loosely translates to 'motherfucker'

Ve'ho - prince

The back room of Mess Hall Five was hot, humid, and cramped. Large stacks of dishes, brought in by a conveyor belt, had piled up during the First Shift morning meal. Serving trays, bowls, glasses, utensils, and cookware; most still filled with remnants of food or drink, teetered at eye height and had started to overflow onto the floor as well, to create a broken mess of waste and shattered glass.

Vegeta steamed, both figuratively and literally, over the mess as if it were a personal affront to his royal pride. Didn't these barbarians know how to scrape their fucking trays off? His bangs hung limp in front of his eyes, and he was coated in a fine layer of sweat already.

This should not be happening to him. He was a prince, by the Gods, not some lowly kitchen drudge meant for menial labor! His hands - currently clad in nasty rubber gloves - were meant for dealing out death, and not scraping away some lazy ingrate's leftovers. It was humiliating! Yet here he was, sent as punishment by Dodoria for 'causing a commotion in the mess hall' and 'wasting food'.

Yeah, right. Causing a commotion… Like it had been his fucking Ginyus had gone out of their way to gang up on him. Raditz had been with Vegeta as always, but had been ambushed by their cronies just as Vegeta set foot in the cafeteria. The prince was left to face his nemeses alone, surrounded by a room full of enemies whose only means of aid would be to chant for his blood.

So, what was he supposed to do, just bend over and take it without a struggle? If he did not fight back he would look like a fucking pansy in front of the entire PTO - or at least those at breakfast - and that was pretty much the same thing. Rumors travelled faster than light around Home Base FP-79. Or he could turn tail run, and that would be no better. Within an hour, everyone and their mother would have heard that Vegeta had run like a bitch. Both choices just sucked.

No, he would not run and he would not hide. Not while there was breath in his body. Vegeta had done the honorable thing, the Saiyan thing, and fought back while the other rank and file watched in amusement and egged them on. It was only five to one, no big deal. By the time Raditz freed himself, the fight had begun and spread through the room like wildfire, as such fights have a way of doing. Those who chose not to engage in trading blows flipped over tables for shelter and lobbed their food and dishes.. It was a loud, messy and confusing clusterfuck that rapidly got out of hand. Vegeta knew who would be blamed.

He gave as good as he got and even managed a few good hits on Jeice before the guards came in to try and break it up, yelling and waving about ineffectively. No one paid attention to them over the din. A few minutes later, Dodoria stormed in, his face contorted in a spiky pink rage. Vegeta was in a headlock by that point, covered in food and bloodied up.

"Enough," the massive General roared.

The fight immediately screeched to a halt. People stopped pummelling each other, others dropped their edible missiles. Everyone shut up and snapped to attention. Jeice released him, and Vegeta scrambled to his feet. Off to one side, Raditz shook off four soldiers who had been trying to pin him down. The Ginyu Force adopted lazy, half-hearted salutes and plastered wide grins on their hated faces. They all outranked Dodoria, so they did not have to kowtow to him.

Dodoria stomped over to where Vegeta stood, covered in food and blood. The Saiyan's hair was slicked down with refuse, his armor a mottled pattern of colorful splotches, and one of his eyes had begun to swell.

"Oh, 'ello General," Jeice drawled in his thick accent. He wiped one gloved hand across his face, it came away a dull pink. The Brench warrior grinned, then patted Vegeta on the shoulder as if they were best of friends. "We was just leavin'. Vegeta, we'll catch up later. Alright, mate?"

Then they sauntered away, Lords of the Base, untouchable. Gods, how Vegeta hated them.

Vegeta opened his mouth to explain his pitiful state and to tell Dodoria what had happened. "General, I -"

"Do I look like I care?" Dodoria scowled around the destroyed mess hall, and his face contorted even further. He pointed his meaty fist at Vegeta and Raditz as if ready to blast them into oblivion, then appeared to reconsider. "You two monkeys, get your asses in the back. Cleanup duty, NOW! And don't think I'm not checking up!"

Vegeta's jaw dropped, and he had to bite his tongue to suppress a howl of rage. "But - "

Dodoria took another step forward, grabbed Vegeta by the front of his chestplate and hoisted him off his feet so they were eye to eye. "If I hear one more word out of you, Monkey Prince, I will personally make sure you don't eat for an entire week. Do make myself clear?"

Some soldiers snickered behind their palms, enjoying the free entertainment at Vegeta's expense. Others did not bother to hide their scorn; they laughed outright and flung insults much as they had flung food before.

Vegeta held Dodoria's beady gaze for as long as he dared; he did not want to back down or appear like a coward. But in the end, he was forced to break eye contact before Frieza's right hand man decided to do more than give him mess duty.

"Clear, sir," the Saiyan grated out through clenched teeth.

Dodoria dropped him without another word and Vegeta landed on his feet. The prince straightened up, dusted off his armor, then marched towards the back room like it had been his choice. He kept his head high, eyes forward, and ignored the jeers.

Vegeta had not had his breakfast. He had not even made it to the servers.

Now he and Raditz were here, dealing in filth and waste and starving to death. The worst part was that they could not quiet their hunger pangs by eating the remains of the other soldiers' meals. The organic remains were disposed of in a waste bin that mixed into a disgusting sludge that Vegeta's pride would not allow him to touch. His stomach howled in protest and he bared his teeth in barely contained rage.

"Fucking Ginyus! Fucking Dodoria," Vegeta ranted. "That ma'tapa couldn't even be bothered to listen to me."

"Did you think he would?" Raditz replied. He was up to his elbows in hot sudsy water. The dishwasher was broken and waiting on repairs, so everything had to be washed by hand. Of course. "Vegeta, it wouldn't matter if there was evidence on camera and the entire PTO vouched for you. That pink fuck would still side with the Ginyus."

"Thanks, Raditz. I feel much better now."

Vegeta stared down at the oversized gloves that covered his hands, and growled low in the back of his throat. He had never washed a dish in his life - that was Raditz' job - and he did not wish to start now. Maybe if he dicked around long enough, Raditz would do the disgusting parts for him? He glanced over at the long-haired adolescent, but could not bear to beg. Vegeta grunted in annoyance and began to toss dishes into the sink, so at least it looked like he was doing something. You know, in case the shift boss looked in.

"Wait, Ve'ho! You have to scrape them first," Raditz admonished. "You can't just toss them in there like that!"

"Are you telling me what to do?" Vegeta felt his hackles rise.

"No! I mean, yes… But only to make this go quicker, not to be your boss. We have to work smart and fast, or the next shift's gonna come in. Then we'll be stuck here all day. I don't know about you, but I want to eat before nighttime. Dodoria's not gonna let us slide, and if we fuck this up, he'll just narc us out to Zarbon. Or beat the hell of of us. I'm not interested in either option."

"Fuck both Zarbon and Dodoria. They're just looking for any excuse to screw me over," Vegeta snarled. To that, Raditz did not reply. He just kept on washing.

Vegeta continued to glare at the growing piles, some now almost as tall as he was. Such work was completely beneath his station and an insult to his royal lineage, but the thought of incurring further punitive actions and the threat of no food were strong motivators.

With great misgivings, Vegeta snatched up a plate and slammed it against the trash bin with such force that the plexi shattered. He looked around to see if anyone had he looked over at Raditz. The older male had pulled his long locks out of the way, and wore a placid expression as he scrubbed with economical moves. He did not appear to be upset at all. It pissed Vegeta off even further.

"How the hell can you just suck it up like that, Raditz?"

Raditz blew a loose strand out of his face, and gave a small shrug. "Honestly, Vegeta? Years and years of practice."

Vegeta was not sure whether Raditz meant washing dishes or getting his ass kicked. Perhaps it was both. Sure, it was easy for Raditz to be chill about ass kickings. Hells, he was practically a professional at it. He probably enjoyed it, but Vegeta did not. Not one gods-damned bit.

"We're never going to get out of here," Vegeta whined, as if Raditz had not heard all of his earlier complaints. He was being ignored! To make himself feel better, Vegeta smashed another glass.

Then Raditz glanced in Vegeta's direction, that bland expression still on his face, but did not react. Instead, he looked away. He directed a powerful spray hose at a clean stack and washed the soap down the drain. "It gets easier the more you do it. Part of the trick is to distract yourself. Trust me, it works."

"This is a joke! We're warriors, not glorified busboys! I swear I'm going to get them back, Raditz. Even if I have to end up in the tank to do so. They can't make a fool out of the Prince of Saiyans!"

Raditz licked his lips, then spoke in level tones. He kept his eyes down and looked at his hands. "That's easy for you to say, Ve'ho. You don't pay the medical bills."

"So you're saying I should have just rolled over like a coward and let them beat me down?" Vegeta could not help the bitter edge that tinged his words.

The tall male took in a deep breath, held it, then released it. "That's not what I meant. I'm just saying that there are sometimes when you … we … should be more strategic about our fights. Like Nappa says - "

"And fuck Nappa too!" Vegeta snarled as his face turned red. He was glad that Raditz was not looking at him. "Where was he when I needed him?"

Another sigh. "As I was saying, pick your battles. Going up against the Ginyu Force and Dodoria isn't brave, it's suicidal. And you know that, too. In the grand scheme of things, this isn't a fight you can win by yourself."

"Pft. Says you, weakling."

"No, it's true. Sometimes you need to learn when to expend your energy, and when to let things go. Hell, when shit goes bad - I mean really bad - I try to let it roll off my back. Even laugh at it."

"Well you laugh at it all you want, Raditz. Me, I'm not going to bow down to anyone."

"Heu, Ve'ho. Not everything has to be taken so damned seriously. It might do you some good to learn to lighten up a bit. Even, maybe, have some fun." Raditz flicked some suds towards the little prince, who scowled.

"This is not fun! You can't possibly think it is!"

"No, not really, but it's all in your point of view. Anything can be a good time or a trip to Hell, it all depends on how you tackle it. But I guess..." Raditz made eye contact. A sly grin spread across his pointed face. "Maybe princes aren't allowed to have fun. Seeing that it's beneath their station and all."

Vegeta puffed up and lashed his tail, sure for a moment that Raditz was insulting him. Then he saw the smile on Raditz' face, and realized that Raditz was poking fun at him. Distracting him. "Of course I know how to have fun, you giant, hairy dolt!"

"I don't mean killing things, Vegeta, although that can be fun. I meant kicking back and have a good time with your getau, hanging out…"

Vegeta rolled his eyes. He knew what Raditz considered to be a good time. "You mean, go out and get trashed and laid, like you and Nappa do on downtime?"

Raditz raised an eyebrow at the bitter tone and opened his mouth, only to be overridden by the angry young Prince's rant.

"Well, in case you've forgotten, I can't do those things because the damned PTO regulations won't let me walk into any of the fucking bars on site because I'm NOT A LEGAL ADULT!" Vegeta snarled, in a mocking tone, then flicked his tail in an obscene and dismissive gesture.

"That's not what I meant." Raditz had heard this rant on many occasions. Honestly he agreed with Vegeta but neither could do much about it. Legally.

"What did you mean, then?"

"You know, just some light-hearted fun. A little tail-pulling, goofing off, that sort of thing."

"Goofing off?"

"Yeah." Raditz broke into a wide smile as his eyes looked into the past. "I'll give you an example. When I was in Training School on Vegetasai, we would pull pranks on each other all the time. Like, replacing someone's soap with hair oils so they ended up all slicked, sneaking out at night to spray paint fake gang signs on the barrack walls, throwing rotted fruit through the officer's windows, leading the guards on a chase through the bad sectors after sending in some working girls… you know .. stuff you do with your ji'tach."

No, I don't really know, but Vegeta would be damned if he let Raditz know that.

"Laaaame," the prince drawled, and ignored Raditz' annoyed huff. "You mean kit stuff, right? And how is painting a wall any fun?"

"Vegeta, not everything is life or death. Sometimes, it's good for us just to be playful, joke around, have a sense of humor."

Right.

"So. You're saying I don't know how to have fun, Raditz? Is that it?" Vegeta replied with his back toward Raditz so the older male could not see his smile.

"This again? Didn't you listen to a word I said?" Raditz flapped his arms in aggravation and sent soap suds flying. "Gods, just forget it."

"Heh. Calm your tits, Raditz. I'm just pulling your tail. Didn't expect that, did you?"

Raditz stared at Vegeta, then they both broke into awkward laughter. The really funny thing was that Raditz was right, distractions did help. He had forgotten to be miserable for a few moments.

The fact still remained that Raditz thought the prince was humorless, that he did not know how to 'have fun', and that bugged Vegeta.

If he wants a joke, by Blood and Battle, I'll give him a joke. That stupid long-haired asshat thinks I don't know how to joke around? I'll show him. I'll make him have fun until it kills him!

Let the games begin.