Mission Marvel Redux: Part 1
[Open up on At the Statue of Liberty, a caption is seen saying "New York". Down on a street corner, a Hot Dog Vendor with the likeness of Stan Lee waits on a customer.]
Hot Dog Vendor: Hey, Vinnie, the usual?
Vinnie: Eh, I wanna try Chicago style.
[Everyone suddenly comes to an abrupt halt and glare at Vinnie.]
Vinnie: Oh, please let some sort of distraction happen.
[We hear a generic hip hop song playing in the background Spider-Man web slings his way around.]
New Yorker: Yeah! Go, Spider-Man!
Spider-Man: Woo! (He gets splashed by a fire hydrant) I didn't know this was gonna be a pool party. I woulda brought my trunks!
[Cut to another part of New York, where Doctor Strange, Ms. Marvel, and the Thing are battling with Venom and Enchantress. Ms. Marvel zaps Venom. Enchantress uses her powers to bring down a fire escape. Thing attempts to run at her but gets trapped by the fire escape remains. He breaks his way of of them and pulls a lamppost from the ground, flinging it at Enchantress, who takes a couple of pieces of it and flings them at Ms. Marvel, who zaps Enchantress. Venom gets a jump on Thing, who smashes him. Doctor Strange uses a magic attack on Venom. Spider-Man finally arrives.]
Ms. Marvel: Oh, hey, kid! Glad you could make it!
Spider-Man: (while webbing Venom) I'm just fashionably late.
[The camera pans above the battle and up into outer space where Phineas and the gang are surfing the asteroid belt. With the song: Surfin' Asteroids playing.]
Isabella: That was awesome!
Phineas: Yeah! The cosmic rays we collected through our satellite dish made a great power source for our surfboards.
[The gang surf their way into a giant space station shaped like Phineas and Ferb's heads. Inside the space station, the gang have their suits off are talking with a floating screen with Gretchen on it.]
Gretchen: Hi, guys! How are the asteroid waves?
Isabella: They were totally crankin', dudette!
[In the backyard where the Fireside Girls are acting as mission control.]
Gretchen: Somebody's been wanting her Surfer Slang Patch, I see.
Phineas: We're about to take the module down. Are we clear for landing?
Gretchen: One moment. (She gets up and checks a spot on the ground.) All clear! Hey, where's Perry?
Singers: Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!
[Inside the building Agent P is already trapped.]
Doofenshmirtz: Struggle all you want, Perry the Platypus, you're not getting out of that! It's hydraulic! Anyway, as you well know, my brother, Roger, happens to be mayor. And that very job gives him all these cool mayoral powers, powers I'd want to use and abuse. So I created the Power-Drain-inator to drain all his powers into this canister, and then I, Heinz Doofenshmirtz, get to wield them! Just think, I will have the power to raise taxes, pass legislation, submit budgets for approval. (He then whips out a remote to operate it.) Inator targeted and firing. (pushes button)
[However, instead of firing the inator, the trap's clamps release, freeing Perry.]
Doofenshmirtz: And that was actually the remote for the hydraulic trap and... Yeah, you're free now.
[Perry flings himself at Doofenshmirtz, who falls backwards, and then takes the inator, smashing it to pieces.]
Yep, here we go. One kick and you destroy my inator. And you're just gonna thwart and run. Curse you, Perry the Platypus! (A piece of the broken inator zaps up to the sky.) Whoa! Uh-oh.
[The beam hits the satellite on top of Phineas and Ferb's space station, it bounces back, headed towards
New York City.]
[Back at the battle, Thing throws the tied up Venom and Doctor Strange battles Enchantress. Two big doors are knocked open, revealing Juggernaut and followed by a large vehicle with Red Skull at the wheel.]
Ms. Marvel: Back off, everyone! If that thing's firing anti-matter blasts, it's gonna pack a big punch!
[The anti-matter beam blasts into Thing.]
Thing: Ha, that all you got?
Red Skull: Juggernaut, take zem all out!
[Spider-Man flings a web at the charging Juggernaut.]
Juggernaut: Your webs cannot stop me!
[One of the guns fires anti-matter at Spider-Man, but misses.)
Spider-Man: Ha ha! Missed me!
[Ms. Marvel fires a photonic blast, breaking the wheels of the vehicle. Doctor Strange levitates Red Skull out of the vehicle and tosses him to the other villains. He then levitates Juggernaut and does the same to him. Thing climbs onto the vehicle and lifts up on the weapon, tearing it off, then flings it into the Hudson River. The villains are left cornered and the heroes move in.]
Ms. Marvel: That's it for you, creeps!
Spider-Man: Ooh ooh! Can I web 'em up?
[The inator's beam blasts the heroes. Seeing a chance to escape, Red Skull starts to run.]
Red Skull: Let's go!
[The villains all flee, as the beam dissipates.]
Doctor Strange: What was that?
Spider-Man: I dunno. But they're getting away! (He attempts to climb a wall, but falls.) Whoa! Well, that's new.
[Ms. Marvel tries another photonic blast, but nothing happens.]
Ms. Marvel: Something's wrong. I can't use my photonic blast!
Doctor Strange: Sit tight! (tries to use his magic, but nothing happens)
Thing: (offscreen) Um, hey, what just happened?
[The other heroes look to see Thing is back to his human form. His trousers start to drop, but he grabs them. A quick note, while in human form, he will go by Ben.]
Ms. Marvel: Somehow our powers have been drained. Let's get back to S.H.I.E.L.D.
Ben: But first, I gotta go buy a shirt and a belt.
[Back in Danville the kids are being lowered onto a drill-like domed module.]
Buford: That was the best thing we've done this morning.
[They lower into the ground and the dome disappears. Candace makes her perfectly timed busting entrance with Linda.]
Candace: Mom! Hurry! Here! Look!
Phineas: Hi, Mom!
Linda: Hi, kids!
Candace: Why aren't you in space?
Buford: Eh, we got hungry.
[Candace huffs.]
Linda: And that's my cue. I'll make you guys some snacks before I leave.
[At the S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier, the heroes enter, with Ben now in normal civilian clothes.]
Spider-Man: Well, this stinks! Without my spider-powers, I'm just a guy in a body stocking! (turns to Doctor Strange) Can't the Eye of Agamoto tell us what happened? I thought it was suppose to be all seeing.
Doctor Strange: It's power was drained as well, along with the Cloak of Levitation.
Ms. Marvel: Was that beam some blast of cosmic energy, or caused by some long-lost HYDRA weapon? No matter what, we have to find out where it came from.
Nick Fury: Danville. Danville, USA.
[The heroes look to see Nick Fury and Maria Hill standing.]
Spider-Man: Have you two been standing there this whole time?
Nick Fury: Yes. Yes we have. (He walks to a screen which shows the inator beam hitting the space station satellite) The beam that hit you originated from the Tri-State Area, bounced off a space station satellite dish, and hit you in New York City during your fight.
Ben: Is that one of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s?
Maria Hill: No. It's theirs.
[The space station image fades to Phineas and Ferb's images.]
Spider-Man: Whoa, those kids have got freaky shaped heads.
Nick Fury: We've tracked their location. You need to go and discover if they invented the power-siphoning ray and what they've done with your powers.
Maria Hill: And there is a defense organization stationed there, the O.W.C.A. We're in contact with their command and they'll assist in whatever way they can. Agent Romanoff is already on her way there.
[Back at Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc. Norm is busy vacuuming up the debris from Doofenshmirtz's inator]
Doofenshmirtz: Make sure you get all these little pieces over here, too. No, you're missing the big one.
Norm: Okey-dokey!
Doofenshmirtz: Y'know, Norm, the Power-Drain-inator did get one shot off before it died. I wonder if it hit anything.
Gordon Gutsofanemu: (on television) Dateline: New York City. A mysterious ray has drained the power from four of our beloved superheroes. (an image shows Spider-Man, Ms. Marvel, Doctor Strange, and Thing) We now return you to Horse in a Bookcase, already in progress.
Doofenshmirtz: That was me! That was me! I drained the power from those superheroes! Wicked! Ooh, ooh, I gotta go update my evil blog on the L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. site! (sits down at the computer and types) OMG! I drained all the powers from a group of superheroes in New York , and those powers belong to me now! Happy Emoticons. And post! (spins in his chair) Norm, let's get the powers out of the canister so I can start wielding them! I can't wait to fly and use magic, climb walls, and have rock skin!
Norm: Uh, sir, I hate to be the bearer of empty canisters, but the canister is empty.
Doofenshmirtz: What?! So I don't have the powers?
Norm: Time to blog a retraction, I guess.
Doofenshmirtz: Uh, forget it, I'm not gonna change it. Everyone exaggerates on the Internet.
[Cut to Red Skull's lair. He reviews the footage of the beam hitting the heroes. Venom and Enchantress watch as well, while Juggernaut is shown looking at a smartphone.]
Red Skull: There vas a slight miscalculation. It becomes clearer upon seeing zis footage.
Enchantress: That is more than a slight miscalculation, Red Skull. It's a major mistake!
Venom: We could have destroyed the heroes once and for all!
Red Skull: Enough! It doesn't change ze fact zat ze heroes are now powerless!
Enchantress: Well, what could have happened to their powers? I mean, it wouldn't surprise me if Loki had a hand in it.
Juggernaut: Hey, this guy right here. I follow his blog, and...
Venom: You actually follow blogs?
Juggernaut: What, I have other hobbies. As I was saying, this guy called Doofenshmirtz is claiming that he has drained the heroes of all their superpowers and now has them.
Red Skull: Hmm, Doofenshmirtz. Zat sounds Drusselshteinian. Mien cousin married a Drusselshteinian. She is dead to me! So, who is zis Doofenshmirtz?
Juggernaut: Here, here's what he looks like.
[Juggernaut gives Red Skull the phone and it is plugged into the main computers. Doofenshmirtz's image appears.]
Red Skull: He is beautifully grotesque.
Enchantress: All hideous and deformed. I've seen Frost Giants and trolls with better looks.
Venom: He must have some backstory.
Red Skull: Vere can we find zis sideshow freak?
Juggernaut: (showing an image of D.E.I.) He's in the Tri-State Area, Danville, USA.
Red Skull: Danville, eh? Gentlemen, und Enchantress, it looks like we're going on an evil road trip.
Juggernaut: Ooh, shotgun!
Red Skull: YOU DO NOT FIT IN ZE SHOTGUN POSITION!
[Cut to the backyard.]
Phineas: Well, that was fun, and it's only 10:30. What else should we do today?
[Linda and Lawrence arrive.]
Linda: Oh, hey, kids. We're gonna be taking a walking tour of the Tri-State Area today. (her phone rings) Yes, Candace, you're in charge.
Candace: Whoopee!
Linda: Bye, kids.
Phineas: Hey, where's Perry? Oh, there he is!
[Cut back to D.E.I. A huge vehicle lowers onto the balcony. The supervillains exit from the door. Venom hisses. Cut to his foot to reveal that he stepped into a trap meant for Perry. He slithers his foot out of it.]
Computer: Platypus trap engaged.
Doofenshmirtz: Ah, Perry the Platypus... You're not Perry the Platypus! Who are you guys?
Red Skull: Zis is Juggernaut, zis is Venom, and zis is Enchantress.
[Doofenshmirtz sees Enchantress, and instantly is attracted to her.]
Doofenshmirtz: And she certainly is enchanting. (walks over and takes her hand) How do you do?
[Enchantress flinches. Doofenshmirtz suddenly stands right next to her and pulls out a smartphone and takes a picture of the two of them. He then starts typing on it.]
Doofenshmirtz: Charlene's going to be SO jealous.
Red Skull: Ahem, if I may have your attention. I am Red Skull.
Doofenshmirtz: Yes. Yes, you are. But hey, better red than dead, am I right?
[Red Skull looks baffled and slightly insulted by the comment.]
Red Skull: Vhatever. You are the one they call "Doofenshmirtz"?
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, yeah. That's what they sing at the end of the birthday song...At least they...would...but it hasn't happened for a number of years... Anyway, what are you guys doing here?
Red Skull: Shos your davices, Doofenshmirtz!
Doofenshmirtz: "Shess-so-davices?" Is that Latin?
Red Skull: Show us your devices.
Doofenshmirtz: Um, I'm still not gettin' it. Anyone?
Enchantress: I have no idea.
Red Skull: (grunts) Show...us...your...devices!
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, you want to see my inators! Man, you've got quite an accent there! Alright, (walks up to an inator) here's what I'm working on now. Behold, the Sluginator! It will give me the powers of a slug...which I guess would be moving slowly, being slimy, and being weak to salt.
Venom: (to Juggernaut) Are you sure this is the right guy? Because I think Rhino is actually smarter than him.
Juggernaut: That's what his blog said.
Red Skull: Then he must be toying with us. Playing us for fools! He is even more diabolical than we thought!
[Doofenshmirtz's phone then chimes and he looks and sees he has gotten a reply from his ex-wife.]
Doofenshmirtz: (reading) "She's pretty. I'm happy for you, Heinz." Huh, not the reaction I was expecting.
[Cut to the Flynn-Fletcher house. The doorbell rings and the boys go to answer it.]
Phineas: Ferb, are you expecting someone?
[Ferb opens the door to reveal the superheroes.]
Ferb: Not them.