Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of the characters though if I had the money I'd probably try to buy a cute blonde pilot-oops off subject! Don't sue me please.
This fic I wrote when I was bored, yeah I'm bored a lot -_-0 please read and tell me what you think, I'll have most of the chapters up by the end of the day. Please don't get offended, this fic is just one of my experiments, you know? Well read and review
~*~
I'm alone, never in my life had I felt so much loneliness, I had father before, I had the other Gundam pilots, I had Sandrock. They are gone now... along with the long war, they've disappeared into nothing, as if they were never here in the first place. Before I joined the war I had no friends, and finally it seemed that with becoming a Gundam pilot came 4 friends and more but the war ended and they were gone.
What will become of me? I've managed to stay so kind during the war, but now that the war's over, it seems to be fading to. I've begun daily fits, causing many of my maids to throw up their hands in surrender, I was pushing them all away. And Rashid and the Maganics, I thought they'd stay with me a bit longer then a couple of weeks after the war, but they had to rebuild their city to make it beautiful again. That could be excused, but after a whole 9 months and no word, not a word from a single soul who I once thought was a friend, that has managed to shred my heart.
It's constant work from here on, but only very few like Relina can actually go on like that, and even so she hears from Heero every so often to keep her going.
Now I look here at this computer screen, eyes cold, tears no longer shed, I'm 18, I'm surprised nobody remembered my birthday, I didn't bother to tell them, didn't bother to even get out of bed that day, I just lay wishing my heart would stop. I know what I've become, and I know how I'll be in a ew more months.
I'm no longer schooling. I didn't quit but I did get some tutors to speed up the process. One with so many responsibilities can't be expected to go to school, it's too much of a burden. Collage will have to wait, my sisters insist that they'll take over my responsibilities just so I can get my collaging done with. But I know them, they only say that, and will use it to back stab me in the future. So I'll just wait, it's not like I'll be anything special like a doctor like they have the opportunity to be, no I have to sit behind desks for the rest of my life, go to meetings to discuss matters that hardly need to be discussed.
As for my time off, I do nothing, I gave up on attempting to communicate with the other pilots or anybody, I'd rather sit in my room and torture myself or sleep.
I guess sometimes things happen for no reason, like becoming a Gundam pilot, yes I helped save the Earth, too many times, it could have happened with out me though.
~*~
I lay on my bed, needle in hand, stabbing at my fingers to see my blood and feel pain that didn't have to only be felt inside. My clothes were off and thrown on the floor, after a while of pricking lamely at my fingers I decided to plunge the needle further, I 'd push though until I hit just beneath my nail, then pull out and watch how much blood came out.
It may seem like a demented and insane thing to do, but when there's nothing else to do you kind of find other ways to amuse yourself. By now I had no faith in any Gods, my life was nothing, but my amusement ended as a servant knocked at my bed room door.
"Sir, you have some visitors here."
I stabbed the needle again into my thumb one last time this time trying to go further, but the door opened a little and the servant peeked in.
"Master Quatre, you have visitors here to see you."
I looked at him with and angry glare, "I heard you. What do they want?" I asked.
"Quatre, let us in man!" Duos familiar voice answered from the door.
This made me angry and I sliced open my thumb as I took the needle out, "Send them away." I said snobbishly, I didn't need them interrupting my life.
"What!?!" Several voices rang from the door.
My thumb began to bleed non-stop onto my silk sheets, and I lapped at the self inflicted wound, "You heard me, send them away and make sure they never come back."
"Sir, they wish to have you accompany them on a holiday-"
"Send them away!" I screamed.
"Quatre just let us talk to you a bit, you may reconsider." Heero's voice came.
I quickly roase from my be and in my informal wear consisting of nothing, marched to the door, "I don't care! I need no more curses!" I screamed slamming my door.
"Quatre, please," Trowa's and duo's voice echoed behind the door.
"I swear if you don't leave I'll call security," I screamed.
"Sir, these are your old friends have you taken your medication this evening?" the servant asked.
"How dare you question my authority, you're fired."
"Sir I quit!"
"Quatre this isn't you-" Heero began to say.
"You don't know me anymore..."I growled and put on a robe, then opened my door and peered into their faces, they looked upset, "Go now or I'll have the police escort you out of here."
Heero looked down at my mutilated thumb, "Quatre..."
"Quatre just let us talk to you..." Duo whined.
"You really think I'm the same don't you?" I began to laugh, but then I looked at them sternly," You underestimate me." I turned back into my room.
"Quatre, you're lonely, your servants called us, to come and save you..." Trowa's voice explained.
"I don't need you, I need anything but you..." I said starting to dial security, but just before I began to call my door opened and Heero grabbed my from behind and covered my mouth with a rag of some sort.
"We didn't want to do this like this, you give us no choice..."Heero said sadly.
I was trapped, my arms behind my back and legs immovable, I fought not to inhale but finally my lungs gave out and I breathed in, my mind seemed smothered and I fell into an unconsciousness.
To Be Continued…