A/N: AU S4 of Grey's & S1 of Private Practice, basically George died in S4 while he was still married to Callie (And George/Izzie didn't happen, it's not exactly important to the fic but in my world George/Izzie should NEVER have happened!) and obviously there is a backstory to Addison/Meredith which you will go on to read :) Really trying to work on something better for this pairing, I completely adore them but I've lost my spark, this was started and abandoned back in September 2010! Anyway, please review :)
You Are My Heaven, You Are My Home
~x~
"Addison, someone to see you" Dell said walking into the conference room and sitting down in his chair, Addison looked up to see Meredith standing in the doorway, her sleeves pulled over her hands, her hair in a messy ponytail, her eyes obviously red raw.
"Meredith" Addison said with surprise "What, what's going on? Um, why are you here?"
"George died" Meredith said quietly, her voice a little hoarse.
"What?" Addison gasped, standing up and moving over to her, her hand touching Meredith's arm softly "What happened?" she asked quietly.
"We got this patient, a John Doe, he saw this woman about to cross the road and, a bus was coming towards her so, he pushed her out of the way and, he didn't have time to save himself, he was hurt so badly, so so badly, his face was so swollen, his features were, a mess, he kept trying to write in my hand, but he couldn't do it, we worked on him all day, a whole team of us, me and Derek and Callie and Mark and, everyone, Derek needed to take him into a second surgery, I prepped him, and as I went to walk away he grabbed my hand, and in my palm, he wrote, 007" she said with a slight choke "I said it twice, 007, and then it clicked, it was George, he's 007, it was before you got to Seattle, we'd only been interns for a day or two, and he had to assist Burke on an appy and he froze, Alex nicknamed him 007, y'know, license to kill and all that, it was stupid but, it stuck, and, he wrote it on my hand and, then we were in surgery and, he died" she whispered "He died" she said with a slight laugh "George died" she laughed "Oh god I'm not crazy, I swear I'm not" she said trying to get her breath back "But just, how, ridiculous is that? George, George O'Malley, one of my best friends, died" she breathed "And at the funeral the, the priest was reading classic rock lyrics and the girl, the girl he saved, she was crying harder than Callie and his Mom put together and, she never even met him! How ridiculous is that?" she laughed, as her laughing subsided Addison pulled her close to her body, Meredith's face buried in her neck, Addison pressed her lips against Meredith's hair as Meredith started to cry.
"Sshh it's ok" Addison whispered "It's ok, I'm here honey, I'm here, it's ok"
"One of my best friends died and, the one person I needed to tell me it was going to be ok was here" Meredith sobbed "And it's all my fault"
"You know that's not true sweetie" Addison said softly, her fingers running through Meredith's hair "Just breathe, it's ok, why don't we go and lie down in my office, we'll talk some more when you've got a little sleep ok?"
"Ok" Meredith sniffled "I'm sorry for just turning up like this I just, I needed to get out and, I needed to see you and…."
"It's ok" Addison said softly "Come on" she said kissing her forehead softly, she pushed Meredith slowly out of the door, she turned around and mouthed 'Later' to her stunned friends, she sent Naomi a text to cancel her morning patients as they stepped into her office, she closed the door and all of the blinds before kicking off her shoes, she sat Meredith down and removed her shoes and jacket, she lay down on the sofa on her side and pulled Meredith so she lay in front of her, she propped a pillow under their heads and held Meredith closely, their hands linked over Meredith's stomach.
"I missed you" Meredith said quietly.
"I missed you too" Addison said kissing her shoulder.
"I should have come with you" she sighed "I, I should've, I'm so sorry Addie"
"It's ok, I understand Mer, you have a life in Seattle, your job and your friends and, I'm the one who left, I could've stayed, I should have been there Meredith"
"I didn't want you to stay" Meredith said turning so she lay face to face with Addison, their bodies wrapped together "You weren't happy there Addie, I could see it, I wanted you to come out here and get a new life, and I just, didn't want to mess that up for you, you needed a fresh start, and I just thought you'd, be better off without me"
"Oh Mer you know that's not true" Addison sighed "You were the only good thing about that place in the end, I mean, I love the friends I made, and I'm kind of surprised none of them called me about George but, I love them, and you, no matter how, unconventional we were, I just wanted to be with you, I love you" she whispered "And I'll do anything to be with you again Meredith, if you want me to come back to Seattle with you, then I will"
"No" Meredith whispered "Your life is here, so, I'll do what I should've done in the first place, I'll move here"
"Meredith" Addison sighed "I don't want you to do this because you want to get away from Seattle, from, George's death" she said tentatively "You're all grieving Mer, you need each other"
"I need you" Meredith said softly "I spoke to them, my friends, just after the funeral, I told them I needed you and, they told me if you were who I needed to get through this, then to come, we can call each other, I love you Addie, and letting you go was, the biggest mistake of my life"
"I love you so much" Addison whispered, pressing their lips together "I love you Mer"
"I love you too" Meredith smiled "I should go, leave you to work"
"I've pushed my morning patients back, we'll lie here for a while, have a little lunch, then you can head to my place and wait for me, how does that sound?"
"If you're sure" Meredith said quietly.
"Sure" Addison said kissing her softly "Close your eyes honey" she whispered, Meredith slowly closed her eyes, snuggling further into Addison's body.
~x~
"Did you get in ok?" Addison said down her phone as she walked into the busy kitchen at the practice "Yes I know you know how to use a key Mer" Addison laughed "Ok, well I'll be a couple of hours, eat my food, watch TV, but save the wine until I get home ok?….Ok, bye honey...love you too...bye" Addison smiled, she hung up the phone and slipped it into her pocket before taking a bottle of water from the refrigerator and sipping some back.
"What?" she said as everyone stared at her expectantly.
"You said you'd explain later, this is later" Naomi replied "I think someone missed out a chunk of her Seattle life huh Addie"
"She was, she is, my girlfriend" Addison said quietly "We were together for, almost 6 months, it wasn't a public thing, for the first 2 months it was just me and her, then we told our closest friends, I told Callie, she told her best friend Cristina, and then to make things easier, so there was less sneaking, we told Callie's husband and Mer's friend George and her roommates Izzie and Alex, so I didn't have to sneak in and out of the house. We were in love and happy and, everything was great, except for when she almost drowned, it was, awful and scary and, I couldn't even show how upset I was in front of everyone because we wanted to keep it quiet, I spent a hell of a lot of time in a supply closet crying, Callie and Izzie tried to get me to leave but instead were in and out bringing me water and food and, stopping me from having a complete break down, and after that when she was better we were, fine, we were good, but I just, I wasn't happy in Seattle anymore, I loved her so much, and I had some good friends but, I just, I wasn't happy there or with my job, me and Meredith talked about it, she didn't want to leave, which I understood, she had her friends and her job and, she didn't have family as a kid and they're her family, we decided it would be best all round if we were just friends, so I moved out here, and now, looking back it was a stupid decision, we didn't really think it through, she's talked to her friends and, she's going to transfer out here, and that's, that" she breathed.
"Hold on just one second" Naomi said quickly "Is this, is this the same Meredith who, who was with Derek!" she exclaimed "The intern who stole your husband right from under you? That Meredith?"
"She didn't steal my husband" Addison said rolling her eyes a little "They were together for 3 months, she didn't even know about me, that isn't her fault, she slept with him once after she did know, and she is sorry for that, me and Derek got divorced because we just weren't, working, we didn't love each other anymore, they had a couple of dates after that but that was it, 2 months later we started talking and it just, happened, I know it's weird, I know this isn't the kind of relationship we should have but, I love her, I'm not going to change that because it's a little weird, we don't even think about any of that anymore"
"Well maybe you should" Naomi shot back.
"Nae" Violet and Sam snapped.
"What?" Naomi exclaimed "This is ridiculous!"
"What's ridiculous Nae?" Addison asked "The fact that I'm with a woman?"
"You know that's not what I was saying Addison" Naomi said shakily "It's just, I can't believe you didn't tell me about this! This is huge Addison!"
"You don't think maybe it was too hard to talk about?" Addison said quietly "You don't think maybe thinking about her, thinking about how I wasn't with her was killing me? How I've barely been able to sleep in 6 months because she's not next to me! You don't know how hard it was to leave her Nae, it broke me, and I'm not screwing this up again because of what other people think, no way, and if it means going back to Seattle, then I'll go back to Seattle, if it means her moving here then I'll help her move here, if it means going somewhere else entirely, then I'll go, because that's what you do when you love someone, you do anything for them, all I want to do right now is go home and tell her that everything is going to be ok" she said firmly, her body was shaking as small tears fell from her eyes "She's had so much crap happen in her life and she does not deserve to be hurt anymore, one of her best friends died Naomi, I don't give a damn what you think, you can think I'm the craziest woman on earth, but I really don't care, she is all I need and I am not letting her go again"
"Go" Naomi sighed "Go, go and be with her, I'll cover for you, go Addison"
"Thank you" Addison said storming from the room, leaving her stunned colleagues behind her.
~x~
"Hey honey" Addison said softly as she sat on the edge of her sofa, Meredith was fast asleep, she brought her hand to her cheek and stroked it a little.
"Mmm, hey" Meredith yawned "You're here"
"I'm here" Addison smiled "I couldn't stay there with you here, I needed to be with you"
"You didn't have to do that, you have patients" Meredith said softly.
"There are other doctors Mer, I need to be here ok? Now, are you hungry? I can order something in" "That'd be nice" Meredith smiled, she sat up and kissed Addison softly "God I've missed your lips" she whispered "I missed your lips and your hair and, your arms, your waist" she said moving her hands across Addison's body "I missed you so much Addie" she said kissing her again "I love you"
"I love you too" Addison said softly "I'm here now honey, I'm not going anywhere ok?"
"Ok" Meredith said softly "Did you talk to everyone about, us?"
"Yeah it was, awkward, but they're ok with it all, they want to get to know you, Naomi was the most freaked out, I think it's because she's my best friend and, I didn't tell her about any of this, I just, couldn't, I couldn't talk about you because it made me miss you even more"
"Me too" Meredith sighed "Y'know what I want to do after dinner"
"What?" Addison smiled.
"Take a bath with you, I've missed that" Meredith said with a small smile.
"Ok" Addison said kissing her softly "Well, we'll have some food, and then we'll take a very long hot bath"
"Perfect" Meredith smiled.
~x~
"How are you feeling baby?" Addison asked as she brushed her lips across Meredith's shoulder, hot water and bubbles covering their bodies, their hands joined together.
"Perfect" Meredith said softly "Being right here, it feels, perfect"
"It does" Addison said kissing her neck "I love you"
"I love you too" Meredith smiled.
"I'm never letting you go again" Addison whispered softly.
"Me either" Meredith said squeezing her hand "I miss him already"
"I know you do" Addison said softly "I'm so sorry Mer, I'm so sorry"
"Me too" Meredith said quietly "God I wish we could just stay here forever" she sighed.
"We'd probably turn into prunes" Addison said with a slight laugh "But I know what you mean, this is perfect, it feels, so good to have you back in my arms"
"It feels amazing to be here" Meredith said quietly "Have you got work tomorrow?"
"No, I've booked the day off, I want to spend it in bed with you"
"You didn't have to do that"
"I did" Addison said quietly "I need one of our lazy days, I've missed them, just curling up in bed with you"
"I've missed it too" Meredith said turned her head and reaching up to press a kiss on Addison's neck "I love you"
"I love you too" Addison said softly "Now come on, sshh, relax, no more talking, just relax"
"Ok" Meredith sighed, she sank back against Addison, and simply lay there.
~x~
"Mmm, morning" Meredith mumbled as she woke slowly the next morning in Addison's arms.
"It's almost afternoon" Addison said with a slight laugh as she kissed Meredith softly.
"Not like we have to get up today" Meredith sighed, snuggling into Addison's body.
"True" Addison smiled "What do you want to do?"
"Maybe go for a walk on the beach later" Meredith yawned "But other than that, just, staying here with you"
"Ok" Addison said softly "Is there anything you want to talk about?"
"Like what?" Meredith frowned.
"I don't know, anything, about us, or George, or anything"
"Derek knows about us" Meredith blurted quickly.
"Wha…what?" Addison stuttered.
"Just before I left I, I told him everything, I just, he was asking me where I was going and, why I was leaving and, I just told him, and, well he was, freaked out but, I didn't really give him much chance to say anything, but I think, I think it's good that he knows, because now, now we don't have to hide anything, and that's good right?" she asked "Please say something"
"I, I guess you're right" Addison sighed "You are I just, I'm just a little surprised that's all"
"But you're, ok about it?" Meredith said slowly "Please say I haven't messed up already"
"Of course you haven't" Addison said softly "I'm actually quite, proud of you" she smiled.
"You are?" Meredith asked warily.
"Of course I am, that was, so brave of you, I know that must've been hard, I'm very, very proud of you" Addison said kissing her.
"I'm proud of both of us" Meredith said softly "We're in this for real now Addie, just you and me"
"Just you and me" Addison smiled "D'you want me to show you how proud I am" she whispered huskily.
"Mmm, that sounds perfect" Meredith moaned against her mouth "I love you so much"
"I love you too" Addison whispered.
~x~
1 year later.
"Oh god I feel so fat today" Meredith groaned, pulling the bed covers up over her head.
"You're not fat honey" Addison said pulling the covers back down and kissing her gently "We need to get ready, the jet should be waiting for us in a couple of hours"
"Why did you even get a private jet?" Meredith yawned "I feel weird getting on a private jet"
"Because I know you feel claustrophobic on flights as it is, and the jet has plenty of room, we can snuggle up together and watch a movie"
"That does sound nice" Meredith said with a small smile "He's kind of going crazy in there today" she said caressing her almost 6 month pregnancy bump "Feel" she said bringing Addison's hand to the spot where he kicked.
"Good morning baby" Addison whispered, reaching down and pressing her lips to the bump.
"I love you" Meredith said quietly, running her fingers through Addison's hair as she lay her head slightly on the bump.
"I love you too" Addison smiled "Shall we go and shower? I can wash your back"
"Ok" Meredith smiled.
"It's gonna be ok y'know, in Seattle" she said helping Meredith out of the bed "They're going to be all over you and the little man"
"Fun" Meredith grimaced.
"Oh you love it really" Addison chuckled "I love you" she smiled.
"I love you too" Meredith smiled back.
~x~
"We should always use the jet when we fly" Meredith said as she snuggled against Addison's side in their private car.
"Told you you'd like it" Addison said with a slight laugh "And this one will love it when we start taking him on vacations" she said bringing her hand to Meredith's bump.
"Yeah, I guess he will" Meredith smiled "I'm a little nervous"
"Mer, they're our friends, you have nothing to be nervous about"
"Derek will be there" Meredith said quietly "I mean, I know he knows about, everything now but, I just don't want anything to, ruin the night, we're supposed to be celebrating George's life"
"And we will be" Addison said softly "Derek isn't that stupid"
"I guess" Meredith sighed "Well, we're here now" she said as the car pulled up outside Callie's house, the driver stepped out and opened Meredith's door, he helped them both out of the car before taking their small cases from the trunk.
"Thank you" Addison said with a small smile, she tipped him before he got in the car and pulled away, she pulled the cases with her as they walked to the front door, Meredith reached out and knocked on it loudly.
"Addison, Meredith, hey!" Callie smiled as she opened the door "Come on in, you're pretty much the last one's here, Cristina just called me, she's on her way, thank you so much for coming out, Mer you look, glowing"
"I look like crap but thanks" Meredith said with a slight laugh "And we wouldn't miss this"
"Well thank you anyway" Callie said softly "And you do not look like crap"
"You look beautiful" Addison said kissing Meredith gently "Where shall I put these?" she said gesturing to the cases.
"I'll put them in the closet for now" Callie said taking them and putting them into the hall closet "Follow me" she said leading them through to the living room "Guys, Meredith and Addison are here" she called out, almost everyone turned to look with a loud hello, Izzie instantly rushed forward and hugged Meredith.
"Mer you look amazing" she smiled.
"Thanks Iz" Meredith chuckled "But can you not squeeze me so tight? I need to pee enough as it is"
"Right, sorry" Izzie said with a small laugh "And Addison, hi, it's, it's good to see you"
"You too" Addison smiled.
"Hey Mer, Addison" Alex said kissing both of their cheeks "Wow, they're really growing in there huh?"
"That is the general idea" Meredith laughed.
"You look beautiful" he said softly.
"Thanks" Meredith said with a small smile, Lexie and Mark were the next to greet them, followed by George's Mom and brothers, followed by Bailey and the Chief.
"Holy crap look at the size of you!" she heard Cristina exclaim, she looked up and let out a laugh.
"Thanks Cris" she said dryly.
"Well it's true" Cristina smirked "But you look, you look good Meredith, I've, I've missed you"
"I've missed you too" Meredith said hugging her "And don't complain about the hug, I hug now, it's the hormones"
"I'll let you off, this time" Cristina said as they pulled apart "And Montgomery" she nodded "I hope you're taking care of them, this is my godchild after all"
"I promise" Addison said squeezing Meredith's hand, she caught Derek's eye nervously but avoided it "So, I know we're all here for George but, we need to tell you something"
"If it's that Meredith's pregnant we already know" Mark smirked.
"Of course it's not that Mark" Lexie said rolling her eyes "Go on"
"Well, we just wanted you all to know, that our baby, it's a boy" Meredith smiled "And we've, we've decided to name him George"
"What?" Callie, Izzie and Louise, George's mother gasped.
"Well, when we found out it was a boy we started talking about names" Addison smiled.
"And nothing felt right, not until, not until I suggested George" Meredith added "He was like a brother to me, and I still miss him now, and I know you all do too, and I just thought, I thought it'd be nice for our baby, to be named after one of the, kindest, sweetest, bravest men I have ever met" she said trying to hold back tears "But if that's not ok…" she said quickly.
"Oh no dear, it's, it's more than ok" Louise said stepping forward and squeezing her hands "George would be, he thought very highly of you, he thought of you as family, and you naming your child after him, that's, that's an honor"
"Thank you" Meredith sniffled "God these hormones are really getting stupid now" she said with a breath, wiping her tears quickly.
"I remember it well" Louise chuckled "Would you call me? When he's born? I'd love to send something for him"
"You don't have to do that" Meredith said with a small smile "But of course I'll call"
"Good" Louise smiled.
"Hey, none of this" Addison said walking over to Callie and wiping her tears away gently "This is going to be a happy day, a celebration, ok? No more tears"
"No more tears" Callie nodded with a sniffle before hugging Addison "Thank you for being here" she whispered.
"I'll be here whenever you need me, I promised you that didn't I?" she smiled.
"Yeah" Callie smiled back "Y'know, I'm really happy for you, that everything's working out"
"Yeah well, it's all thanks to her really" she said glancing back to where Meredith was chatting quietly with Louise, Bailey and Izzie "Surprisingly she's the one who's tried to make this work the most"
"She was a mess when you left, she doesn't want to lose you again"
"Well she isn't going too" Addison said with a small smile "Now, let's go and get some drinks, is it too early for wine?"
"Never" Callie said with a slight laugh.
~x~
"Hey" Addison said quietly as she walked out into Callie's garden to find Derek sat on the edge of her decking.
"Hey" he said with a slight nod.
"Can I…." she said gesturing to the space next to him.
"Sure" he agreed, Addison sat down and sipped from the wine glass in her hand.
"So um, how are you?"
"Good" Derek said quietly "You?"
"Good" she smiled.
"Y'know I knew all about this, about you and her, about the baby, but, seeing you together, it's, it makes it real, and I don't, I don't know how to act"
"I'm sorry Derek" she said with a slight whisper "I know this can't be easy, I just, it happened and, I could sit here and say I wish it had never happened but, that's not true, we love each other Derek, really love each other, but don't think for one second we didn't think about how you would feel, we hate that Derek, we hate that you're upset"
"I don't want you to apologize" Derek sighed "I guess I just have to get over it, and it's, it's actually kind of nice to see you both happy" he said with a small smile.
"We want you to be happy too" she said squeezing his hand "Is there anyone?"
"I dated a scrub nurse for a while, Rose, but it didn't work out, there was just something not right about her and, well when I ended it she ended up stabbing my hand with a scalpel in surgery the next day" he smirked, showing Addison the small scar on his hand.
"Ouch" Addison winced.
"She transferred to Mercy West after that" he laughed.
"Probably for the best" she smirked "Y'know you will find someone, I mean, you're you" she sighed "You're amazing, and I did really love you, we had so many amazing years together and I'll never forget them, any girl would be lucky to have you"
"Are you just saying all this to make me feel better?" he asked.
"No" she smiled softly "I miss you Der"
"Yeah I guess I miss you too" he said with a small smile "You'll be, a great Mom Addison"
"I'm petrified" Addison said with a slight laugh "Everyone expects me to be great because of my job but, that doesn't mean I'll be a good mother, I mean look at my mother, not exactly a great role model"
"You will be a great Mom" Derek said, squeezing her hand "I'm surprised you're not the one having the baby"
"Yeah well, that isn't going to happen for me" Addison sighed "And it wasn't easy for Mer to get pregnant, it took 3 attempts for it to stick, we were just about to give up and try adoption and then, well the result was positive" she smiled "He's this perfect little, angel, you can even see on the scan that he has her nose" she laughed "He'll be just like her, I know it"
"I'm sure he'll be a lot like you too, I've always believed in nurture over nature, you know that"
"I guess you're right, thanks Derek"
"No problem" he said with a small smile "Have you always liked women?"
"Derek" she smirked.
"Come on, you've gotta give me that one" Derek chuckled.
"I don't know" Addison sighed "I never really thought about it, with Meredith it has never been about her being a woman it's just about, her, and I think it's the same for her"
"Right" he nodded "I guess that makes sense"
"Hey" Meredith said quietly as she opened the door "Is everything ok out here? Callie says dinner's almost ready"
Derek stood and walked over to her, kissing her cheek gently "Congratulations Meredith"
"Thank you" she said with a small smile, he nodded a little before going into the house, Addison stood and met Meredith at the door.
"It's all ok Mer" she said softly "It's weird for him but he's glad we're happy, which we are, right?"
"Yeah, we are" Meredith smiled softly before leaning in to kiss Addison, her bump pressing against her gently.
The End.