(A/N: This started when I decided I wanted all the muses for myself, so I simply captured them all in my LiveJournal. Then my friends/fellow authors retaliated in theirs and comments. These are ripped straight from the LJ's and IM conversations between us.)
Kinneas: Vincent, I need help. Can you give me an outlook on a new story I'm preparing to write?
Vincent: ...possibly.
Kinneas: Good. It's about you, Tifa, and Cloud. A battle in the Gelnika
Vincent: *visibly shudders* I did not like that... place. What do you plan to do to me?
Kinneas: Oh, nothing major. Just kill you.
Vincent: ....
Kinneas: Don't worry, you'll come back. They're called Phoenix Downs. Duh.
Vincent: ....
Kinneas: Fine then! Be like that! See if I care.
Vincent: May I leave now?
Kinneas: Of course not!
Vincent: I am departing. Right now.
Kinneas: *grins evilly* Not if I can help it...
(Shackles appear on Vincent's hands and he is chained to the wall)
Vincent: Aaah! Let me go!
Kinneas: Now for some fun...
Vincent: *Gulp*
~ ~ ~ ~
Vincent: X_x
Kinneas: Umm.. I had better go unshackle him before something bad happens...
Vincent: *sprouts Chaos wings*
Kinneas: AAAHH!!! *promptly runs off*
~ ~ ~ ~
Kinneas: *plays her clarinet to the stands music and messes up again*
Vincent, still shackled: MAKE IT STOP!!! Kinneas, please! For my very sanity!!! Make it stop!!
Kinneas: *is oblivious and continues playing*
Vincent: I... can't... take.. it.... *faints again, head droops limply*
Kinneas: Whoops.. Guess I'd better stop.
*Cloud and Tifa walk in*
Tifa: Oh My God! You killed Vincent!
Cloud: You bastard!
Kinneas: Umm... he's not dead but... Tifa, cover your ears.
Tifa: *covers ears*
Kinneas's clarinet: TOOOOOOOOOOOT!!
Cloud faints and gets chained next to Vincent.
Kinneas: Two down, four to go.
~ ~ ~ ~
Vincent and Cloud are still chained to the wall, unconscious, while Kinneas plays her clarinet again.
Kinneas: Hmm... I must get my hands on the other four! I think two of them reside with Casey Crystal....
.:In Casey Crystal's Account:.
Kinneas: *POOF! appears*
Elena: If you're looking for Casey, she's not here right now.
Kinneas: I'm not looking for her! I want them! *points to Rufus and Reno* NOW!
Rufus, pulling out shotgun: Don't come a step closer, or we'll have to dispose of you.
Reno, aiming nightstick: You deranged woman!
Kinneas: *whips out clarinet* TOOOOOOOT!!!
All scream and fall unconscious, Kinneas drags Reno and Rufus back to her account.
.:Kinneas's Account:.
Kinneas: Now to contain you two!
More chains appear on Reno and Rufus, putting them on the wall next to Cloud and Vincent
Kinneas: Now only two more!!
~ ~ ~ ~
Elena: CASEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Casey: *runs in* What????
Elena: Kinneas just came barging in here and.... and....
Casey: And what?
Elena: And.... *sobs* She, she took Reno and Rufus away! *bawls* She's collecting all of those lovable guys!
Casey: *blinks, unmoving* Erm.... *turns around and heads off to find a weapon*
Elena: Well, since Casey has left to go save Rufus and Reno from Kinneas, it seems she left her LJ unguarded! Which means..... I get to take over this entry!
Zooky: Wuku! Wuku! I didn't know you were this power mad, Elena!
Elena: *blinks and looks at the 3" monster sitting on the table* What the heck are you?
Zooky: I'm the monster who lives in Casey's closet. Wuku!
Elena: Great... so I'm stuck sharing an LJ with Rufus, Reno and now you?
Zooky: *shrugs* Guess so. So what do you want to talk about?
Elena: *crosses her arms* I don't know.... Wanna go throw a red shirt in Rufus's laundry basket?
Zooky: YEAH! *the two run off with mischievous grins*
~ ~ ~ ~
Kinneas: Hmmm.... *looks at her collection of cute guys chained to the wall* I'm still missing Sephiroth and Zack.
Kinneas props her feet up on a table, pondering over her bishonen's whereabouts.
Kinneas: I know!!! *pulls out clarinet* Tifa Gainsborough's account!!
She disappears
.:TifaG's Account:.
Kinneas: *POOF! Appears* I have come to take Zack!!
TifaG: Kinneas?! Why do you want my muse?!
Kinneas: For my complete collection of bishonen, of course. Now hand him over before I have to get nasty....
TifaG: *grabs Zack* No!!! You can't have him!
Zack: *gasp* I... can't… *gasp* breathe!
Kinneas: THEN YOU SHALL FEEL MY WRATH!!!!
Kinneas brings out her clarinet and plays a high "C", causing everyone to scream, then pass out. Despite TifaG's protests, she grabs Zack and drags him back to her account.
.:Kinneas's Account:.
Kinneas: I've waited a LONG time for you, Zacky-boy. Now join my collection!
Zack is instantly chained to the wall beside Vincent.
Kinneas: Now for Sephiroth....
~ ~ ~ ~
TifaG: *sobs* My muse! Kinneas stole my muse. It's so empty around here, without Zack to keep my company. Not even Cloud, Kinneas stole him too.
TifaG: *wails*
Yuffie: What's your problem?
TifaG: *sniff* Kinneas stole Zack. Aerith: *pats TifaG on the back* There, there... we still have Cid.
Cid: Oh I don't *#$&ing think so *bolts*
TifaG: Well.... what should we do?
Casey: *comes in with a roar* RUFUS!!!! RENO!!!
TifaG: There, there Casey, she stole my Zack too....
Casey: REVENGE!
TifaG: Sounds like a good plan.
Casey: RUFUS!!!
TifaG: Whoa Casey, lay off on the Fujin.
Casey: Sorry, got a little angry there. To Kinneas's LJ!
*The two head off to get their boys back*
~ ~ ~ ~
Kinneas: Vincent, answer me this.
Vincent: *is still passed out*
Kinneas: Well damn.. I gotta go find someone I can torture. *looks at collection on the wall* OOH! Sephiroth!!! He's perfect!!
Kinneas grabs her clarinet and in a cloud of smoke, she disappears
.:Kat_Acylsm's Account:.
Kinneas appears in yet another cloud of smoke.
Kinneas: *looks around room* Hmm... Now where could he be?
Sephiroth is sitting Indian style, meditating shirtless.
Kinneas, drooling: He looks so sexy.... *snaps out of it* Sephiroth!! You're coming with me!!
Sephiroth: *looks up* What? Kinneas! You're not welcome here!
Kinneas: And why is that?!
Odd voice: Because no one steals my Sephy!
Odd voice walks out of the shadows, it's Kat_Aclysm!
Kat: Don't get near him! He's mine! *pulls out Trapezium of Doom*
Kinneas: HA! I SHALL FINISH MY COLLECTION!!! *whips out clarinet*
Sephiroth and Kat: NOOOO!!!!
Kinneas's clarinet: TOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!
All faint
Kinneas drags Sephiroth, who is twitching, back to her account
.:Kinneas's Account:.
Kinneas: *douses Sephiroth with water* Wake up!
Sephiroth: *opens his eyes* Where... where am I?! *stands up and looks at guys on the wall*
Kinneas: In my Account. And you won't be leaving for a LONG while.
Sephiroth, drawing Masamune: We'll see about that!
Shackles appear on his hands, and he's thrown backward into the wall beside Zack.
Kinneas: YAY!! My collection is complete!! LONG LIVE ME!!
Kinneas plays her clarinet whilst the authors look for their stolen muses...
~ ~ ~ ~
TifaG: It's so silent without Zack.
Tifa: We can keep you company.
TifaG: It's not the same!
Aerith: Here... a bald bishonen
Rude: .......
TifaG: *punt kicks Rude out of LJ* He doesn't talk.
Kat_Aclysm: SEPHIROTH!!! *wails*
Casey Crystal: RUFUS and RENO!!!!!! *sobs*
TifaG: Well... at least the noise volume went up.
*from far away the sound of a girl laughing and chains can be heard*
All: KINNEAS!!!!
~ ~ ~ ~
Casey: I WANT RUFUS AND RENO BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!
TifaG: And I want Zack back.
Kat_Aclysm: SEPHIROTH!
Elena: Then instead of sitting her and whining, why don't you go and save them?
Casey, TifaG, Kat: *all look at each other*
Elena: Ever think of that?
Casey: *grabs her flute like a bat and stands up proudly* Let's get Kinneas!
TifaG, Kat: YEAH!
*the three run to Kinneas's LJ*
Meanwhile....
Kinneas: *still playing her clarinet* Hah! They're all mine! MINE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Rufus: This is humiliating....
Sephiroth: Tell me about it.
Cloud: *scrunches his face up* I've an itch on my nose and I can't scratch it!
Zack: Ever wonder why we always get caught up in these girls' odd lives?
Reno: Now this is why we must remove their author powers before they cause anymore harm!
Vincent: And I suggest we start with the crazy one.
All other guys: *look at him*
Vincent: *sighs* I meant Kinneas!
Rufus: Good idea. One problem. We're still locked up! *sighs*
Sephiroth: *hits his head on the wall*
Cloud: What was that for?
Sephiroth: *shrugs boredly*
Kat_Aclysm: *swings the door open* KINNEAS!
Kinneas: *looks up* Uh oh.
Sephiroth: KAT! *girly scream* SAVE ME!
TifaG: *walks in* Give us back our muses!
Zack: Yay! Teef to the rescue!
Casey: *walks in*
Rufus and Reno: *silence*
Casey: Hey.... that's not fair! You were supposed to miss me!
Rufus and Reno: *shrugs*
Kinneas: You can't stop me! *punt kicks everyone out of account*
~ ~ ~ ~
Kinneas: Hmm... So Sephiroth....
Sephiroth: What do you want, you insane woman... *thrashes around in chains, accidentally kicking Zack*
Zack: *jerks awake* Wha...? Sephiroth?! She got you too!
Sephiroth, still kicking wildly: What do you want with us?
Kinneas: Oh, nothing really. You're just part of my collection now... Hmm... I don't like this order. Sephiroth, switch with Zack.
Sephiroth: I am not a display item! Release me now!
In a flash, Sephiroth and Zack have switch places. The order is: Reno, Rufus, Cloud, Vincent, Sephiroth, and Zack.
Kinneas: Now I shall torture you all...
Sephiroth, still thrashing wildly: LET ME GO!!!
Kinneas: NO! And don't kick Vincent! Imprisonment has taken its toll on the poor guy.
Sephiroth: I will do whatever I please, insane person!
Kinneas: DON'T CALL ME THAT!
Sephiroth: LET ME GO!
Kinneas: NO!
Zack: Will you two just shut up?!
Sephiroth and Kinneas: NO!
Kinneas, exasperated: Sephiroth, why can't you just be GOOD like the other five?
Sephiroth: BECAUSE I'VE BEEN LOCKED IN CHAINS BY A MENTALLY UNSTABLE PERSON!!!
Kinneas, calmer: Sephiroth, if you don't shut up, I will make you! *pulls out clarinet*
Sephiroth: *whimpers* No.. no! Anything but that!
Kinneas: *raises clarinet to lips*
Sephiroth: KAAAAATTTT!!!!!!
Zack: TIIIIIIIFFFAAAAA!!!
Clarinet playing ensues, along with Zack and Sephiroth's screaming.
~ ~ ~ ~
TifaG, from her account: I've hit a serious slump and he is needed for the last chapter of "Fate" and to get there.... I actually have to write the fourth chapter. *stares at a picture of her muse longingly* Come back! Tifa needs you.....
Kinneas, from her account: Hmm... You have visiting rights. Mainly because I like "Fate" a lot.
Zack: HELP M-
Kinneas: *holds clarinet to his ear* I wouldn't do it....
Zack: Damn..
Vincent: Kinneas, please!
Reno: Let us out!
Sephiroth: ... *passes out*
Kinneas: I'll think about it.
Rufus: You can think?
Kinneas: Just for that, you're not going free!
All: *glare at Rufus*
TifaG: *bounces in like a hippie on speed*
Zack: Teef! Are you here to save me?
TifaG: Just visiting rights. But I have connections.... *giggles insanely*
Sephiroth: Are you here to visit me too?
TifaG: Just Zack.
Sephiroth: Wha..... *yells and kicks*
*Leaving Kinneas to deal with Sephiroth TifaG holds a whisper conversation with Zack*
Zack: YOUR GONNA DO WHAT!!!!
*TifaG whaps Zack over the head and the conversation continues.*
Kinneas: Time's up!
TifaG: You be good to them... I have my accordion of dread.
Zack: You have a what? When did you get that? And how come you never let me play with it?
*TifaG shrugs and heads off to write more of Fate*
Zack: And there she goes....
*Kinneas pulls out clarinet and everybody screams*
TifaG: *from far away* I can't bear to watch.....
Kinneas: *plays insanely on her clarinet*
All: *screaming loudly* STOPPPPPP!!!!
Kinneas: *stops* What's wrong?
Rufus: Erghl... *passes out*
Kinneas: *lightbulb suddenly shines in head* TIFA G! WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING TO DO?!
Casey Crystal: Hey Kinny! Do I visiting rights too? *runs up to Rufus*
Kinneas: DON'T CALL ME KINNY! *blasts Casey with the clarinet and Casey's knocked out cold*
~ ~ ~ ~
Kinneas, in the cafeteria with Daisy Grey: Hmm. I'm considering ending the muse war and letting them all go back to their respective owners.
Daisy: WHY?! Power is good!
Courtney Cox walks by.
Courtney: Vote for me for Treasurer!
Daisy: Vote for me for Prime Minister!
Kinneas: Supreme-Dictator-And-Ruler-Of-All-Muses here!
Daisy: So, Emmy. Can you take me to the muses?
Kinneas: Sure! *POOF they disappear*
.:Inside a Cell Phone:.
Kinneas: Whoops.. wrong place...
Daisy: Yep...
*POOF*
.:Kinneas's Account:.
Cloud and Rufus: Mmmf!
Zack: She's back!
Reno: God help us all...
Daisy: So THESE are the muses... OooooOOOOooooOOOO...
Kinneas: Yep! I think you'll recognize them all.
Sephiroth, thrashing wildly: I WANT OUT! No one imprisons the great Sephiroth! *accidentally kicks Vincent*
Vincent: *jerks awake* Hunnh? ...!
Sephiroth: Dammit I want out!
Vincent: As do I!
All: YEAH!
Daisy: Jeez, Emelia, what do you DO to them?
Kinneas: *pulls out clarinet*
Daisy: Ohhh...
Rufus: Mmmmmmf!
Kinneas takes sock out of Rufus's mouth and Kleenex out of Cloud's mouth.
Rufus: Please, new girl...
Cloud: Set us free!
Daisy: MUAHAHAHA!!! *pulls out her own clarinet*
All: *scream*
Kinneas: You know Zack... I have no use for you anymore.
Zack: You mean you...you don't want me anymore?
Kinneas: Nope!
Zack, looking hopeful: YAY! So I can leave?!
Kinneas: Nope!
Zack: *groans*
Daisy and Kinneas: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *practice their clarinets in semi-unison for Homecoming*
Far, FAR away, Tifa Gainsborough, Kat_Aclysm, and Casey Crystal are weeping for their stolen bishonens/muses...
~ ~ ~ ~
TifaG: I'm so happy! I wrote a yaoi implying Zack/Cloud! Since Zack isn't here….
Aerith: But I'm still here!
TifaG: Oh... shit.
Aerith: *has acquired a pot* You are a devote Aerith/Zack fan! How dare you write Cloud/Zack!
TifaG: But they are cute!
Tifa: That's my man you are talking about.
TifaG: How many seconds head start do I get?
Aerith: Run... run fast and far away!
*TifaG bolts to Kinneas' LJ to hide with her and that clarinet*
Kinneas: TifaG? What are you doing here, you can't have them back!
TifaG: Protect me.... Aerith and Tifa are on the war path.
Zack: What did you do?
TifaG: Shounen-ai Cloud/Zack story.
*Silence fills the LJ*
TifaG: Uh... I'm just gonna go hang out in Kat's LJ now. *runs*
~ ~ ~ ~
Daisy Grey and Kinneas retreat from Homecoming…
Daisy: AAAAAA-
Kinneas: I think I went deaf back there,
Daisy: AAAAAAAAAA-
Kinneas: my feet hurt,
Daisy: AAAAAAAA-
Kinneas: AND WE REALLY SUCKED!
Daisy: AAAAAH!
Vincent: Would you mind refraining from the erratic screaming?
Reno: Yeah, man! Knock it off!
Sephiroth: Desist.
Rufus: Cease.
Cloud: St-
Daisy and Kinneas: WE GET THE POINT!
Cloud: Good!
Kinneas: We really did sound bad, though. But guess what!
All: *groan* What now…
Daisy: *holds up sparkly red marble-looking thingy*
Kinneas: We have a new summon! Cookeville Marching Band! Now you can hear what we all sound like!
All, screaming: NO!!!!!
Daisy: Great Purging!
Sky grows dark, clouds swirling ominously above. A great gale of wind howls across the sky, blowing clouds askew. A metal glimmer shimmers… Suddenly the extremely flat and squeaking CHS Fight Song begins playing. A band of geeks and delinquents descends from the sky, being wildly conducted by a director with a shoe in his hand. They gradually get faster and faster, and laugh in amusement as the director's face goes from =D to =| to =( to 8( in three seconds flat.
Daisy and Kinneas: *go and sit in stands with the rest and play "Louie Louie" with them.
All: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
~To Be Continued~
(A/N: I'll post more as we continue our great fight!!!)
Kinneas: Vincent, I need help. Can you give me an outlook on a new story I'm preparing to write?
Vincent: ...possibly.
Kinneas: Good. It's about you, Tifa, and Cloud. A battle in the Gelnika
Vincent: *visibly shudders* I did not like that... place. What do you plan to do to me?
Kinneas: Oh, nothing major. Just kill you.
Vincent: ....
Kinneas: Don't worry, you'll come back. They're called Phoenix Downs. Duh.
Vincent: ....
Kinneas: Fine then! Be like that! See if I care.
Vincent: May I leave now?
Kinneas: Of course not!
Vincent: I am departing. Right now.
Kinneas: *grins evilly* Not if I can help it...
(Shackles appear on Vincent's hands and he is chained to the wall)
Vincent: Aaah! Let me go!
Kinneas: Now for some fun...
Vincent: *Gulp*
~ ~ ~ ~
Vincent: X_x
Kinneas: Umm.. I had better go unshackle him before something bad happens...
Vincent: *sprouts Chaos wings*
Kinneas: AAAHH!!! *promptly runs off*
~ ~ ~ ~
Kinneas: *plays her clarinet to the stands music and messes up again*
Vincent, still shackled: MAKE IT STOP!!! Kinneas, please! For my very sanity!!! Make it stop!!
Kinneas: *is oblivious and continues playing*
Vincent: I... can't... take.. it.... *faints again, head droops limply*
Kinneas: Whoops.. Guess I'd better stop.
*Cloud and Tifa walk in*
Tifa: Oh My God! You killed Vincent!
Cloud: You bastard!
Kinneas: Umm... he's not dead but... Tifa, cover your ears.
Tifa: *covers ears*
Kinneas's clarinet: TOOOOOOOOOOOT!!
Cloud faints and gets chained next to Vincent.
Kinneas: Two down, four to go.
~ ~ ~ ~
Vincent and Cloud are still chained to the wall, unconscious, while Kinneas plays her clarinet again.
Kinneas: Hmm... I must get my hands on the other four! I think two of them reside with Casey Crystal....
.:In Casey Crystal's Account:.
Kinneas: *POOF! appears*
Elena: If you're looking for Casey, she's not here right now.
Kinneas: I'm not looking for her! I want them! *points to Rufus and Reno* NOW!
Rufus, pulling out shotgun: Don't come a step closer, or we'll have to dispose of you.
Reno, aiming nightstick: You deranged woman!
Kinneas: *whips out clarinet* TOOOOOOOT!!!
All scream and fall unconscious, Kinneas drags Reno and Rufus back to her account.
.:Kinneas's Account:.
Kinneas: Now to contain you two!
More chains appear on Reno and Rufus, putting them on the wall next to Cloud and Vincent
Kinneas: Now only two more!!
~ ~ ~ ~
Elena: CASEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Casey: *runs in* What????
Elena: Kinneas just came barging in here and.... and....
Casey: And what?
Elena: And.... *sobs* She, she took Reno and Rufus away! *bawls* She's collecting all of those lovable guys!
Casey: *blinks, unmoving* Erm.... *turns around and heads off to find a weapon*
Elena: Well, since Casey has left to go save Rufus and Reno from Kinneas, it seems she left her LJ unguarded! Which means..... I get to take over this entry!
Zooky: Wuku! Wuku! I didn't know you were this power mad, Elena!
Elena: *blinks and looks at the 3" monster sitting on the table* What the heck are you?
Zooky: I'm the monster who lives in Casey's closet. Wuku!
Elena: Great... so I'm stuck sharing an LJ with Rufus, Reno and now you?
Zooky: *shrugs* Guess so. So what do you want to talk about?
Elena: *crosses her arms* I don't know.... Wanna go throw a red shirt in Rufus's laundry basket?
Zooky: YEAH! *the two run off with mischievous grins*
~ ~ ~ ~
Kinneas: Hmmm.... *looks at her collection of cute guys chained to the wall* I'm still missing Sephiroth and Zack.
Kinneas props her feet up on a table, pondering over her bishonen's whereabouts.
Kinneas: I know!!! *pulls out clarinet* Tifa Gainsborough's account!!
She disappears
.:TifaG's Account:.
Kinneas: *POOF! Appears* I have come to take Zack!!
TifaG: Kinneas?! Why do you want my muse?!
Kinneas: For my complete collection of bishonen, of course. Now hand him over before I have to get nasty....
TifaG: *grabs Zack* No!!! You can't have him!
Zack: *gasp* I... can't… *gasp* breathe!
Kinneas: THEN YOU SHALL FEEL MY WRATH!!!!
Kinneas brings out her clarinet and plays a high "C", causing everyone to scream, then pass out. Despite TifaG's protests, she grabs Zack and drags him back to her account.
.:Kinneas's Account:.
Kinneas: I've waited a LONG time for you, Zacky-boy. Now join my collection!
Zack is instantly chained to the wall beside Vincent.
Kinneas: Now for Sephiroth....
~ ~ ~ ~
TifaG: *sobs* My muse! Kinneas stole my muse. It's so empty around here, without Zack to keep my company. Not even Cloud, Kinneas stole him too.
TifaG: *wails*
Yuffie: What's your problem?
TifaG: *sniff* Kinneas stole Zack. Aerith: *pats TifaG on the back* There, there... we still have Cid.
Cid: Oh I don't *#$&ing think so *bolts*
TifaG: Well.... what should we do?
Casey: *comes in with a roar* RUFUS!!!! RENO!!!
TifaG: There, there Casey, she stole my Zack too....
Casey: REVENGE!
TifaG: Sounds like a good plan.
Casey: RUFUS!!!
TifaG: Whoa Casey, lay off on the Fujin.
Casey: Sorry, got a little angry there. To Kinneas's LJ!
*The two head off to get their boys back*
~ ~ ~ ~
Kinneas: Vincent, answer me this.
Vincent: *is still passed out*
Kinneas: Well damn.. I gotta go find someone I can torture. *looks at collection on the wall* OOH! Sephiroth!!! He's perfect!!
Kinneas grabs her clarinet and in a cloud of smoke, she disappears
.:Kat_Acylsm's Account:.
Kinneas appears in yet another cloud of smoke.
Kinneas: *looks around room* Hmm... Now where could he be?
Sephiroth is sitting Indian style, meditating shirtless.
Kinneas, drooling: He looks so sexy.... *snaps out of it* Sephiroth!! You're coming with me!!
Sephiroth: *looks up* What? Kinneas! You're not welcome here!
Kinneas: And why is that?!
Odd voice: Because no one steals my Sephy!
Odd voice walks out of the shadows, it's Kat_Aclysm!
Kat: Don't get near him! He's mine! *pulls out Trapezium of Doom*
Kinneas: HA! I SHALL FINISH MY COLLECTION!!! *whips out clarinet*
Sephiroth and Kat: NOOOO!!!!
Kinneas's clarinet: TOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!
All faint
Kinneas drags Sephiroth, who is twitching, back to her account
.:Kinneas's Account:.
Kinneas: *douses Sephiroth with water* Wake up!
Sephiroth: *opens his eyes* Where... where am I?! *stands up and looks at guys on the wall*
Kinneas: In my Account. And you won't be leaving for a LONG while.
Sephiroth, drawing Masamune: We'll see about that!
Shackles appear on his hands, and he's thrown backward into the wall beside Zack.
Kinneas: YAY!! My collection is complete!! LONG LIVE ME!!
Kinneas plays her clarinet whilst the authors look for their stolen muses...
~ ~ ~ ~
TifaG: It's so silent without Zack.
Tifa: We can keep you company.
TifaG: It's not the same!
Aerith: Here... a bald bishonen
Rude: .......
TifaG: *punt kicks Rude out of LJ* He doesn't talk.
Kat_Aclysm: SEPHIROTH!!! *wails*
Casey Crystal: RUFUS and RENO!!!!!! *sobs*
TifaG: Well... at least the noise volume went up.
*from far away the sound of a girl laughing and chains can be heard*
All: KINNEAS!!!!
~ ~ ~ ~
Casey: I WANT RUFUS AND RENO BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!
TifaG: And I want Zack back.
Kat_Aclysm: SEPHIROTH!
Elena: Then instead of sitting her and whining, why don't you go and save them?
Casey, TifaG, Kat: *all look at each other*
Elena: Ever think of that?
Casey: *grabs her flute like a bat and stands up proudly* Let's get Kinneas!
TifaG, Kat: YEAH!
*the three run to Kinneas's LJ*
Meanwhile....
Kinneas: *still playing her clarinet* Hah! They're all mine! MINE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Rufus: This is humiliating....
Sephiroth: Tell me about it.
Cloud: *scrunches his face up* I've an itch on my nose and I can't scratch it!
Zack: Ever wonder why we always get caught up in these girls' odd lives?
Reno: Now this is why we must remove their author powers before they cause anymore harm!
Vincent: And I suggest we start with the crazy one.
All other guys: *look at him*
Vincent: *sighs* I meant Kinneas!
Rufus: Good idea. One problem. We're still locked up! *sighs*
Sephiroth: *hits his head on the wall*
Cloud: What was that for?
Sephiroth: *shrugs boredly*
Kat_Aclysm: *swings the door open* KINNEAS!
Kinneas: *looks up* Uh oh.
Sephiroth: KAT! *girly scream* SAVE ME!
TifaG: *walks in* Give us back our muses!
Zack: Yay! Teef to the rescue!
Casey: *walks in*
Rufus and Reno: *silence*
Casey: Hey.... that's not fair! You were supposed to miss me!
Rufus and Reno: *shrugs*
Kinneas: You can't stop me! *punt kicks everyone out of account*
~ ~ ~ ~
Kinneas: Hmm... So Sephiroth....
Sephiroth: What do you want, you insane woman... *thrashes around in chains, accidentally kicking Zack*
Zack: *jerks awake* Wha...? Sephiroth?! She got you too!
Sephiroth, still kicking wildly: What do you want with us?
Kinneas: Oh, nothing really. You're just part of my collection now... Hmm... I don't like this order. Sephiroth, switch with Zack.
Sephiroth: I am not a display item! Release me now!
In a flash, Sephiroth and Zack have switch places. The order is: Reno, Rufus, Cloud, Vincent, Sephiroth, and Zack.
Kinneas: Now I shall torture you all...
Sephiroth, still thrashing wildly: LET ME GO!!!
Kinneas: NO! And don't kick Vincent! Imprisonment has taken its toll on the poor guy.
Sephiroth: I will do whatever I please, insane person!
Kinneas: DON'T CALL ME THAT!
Sephiroth: LET ME GO!
Kinneas: NO!
Zack: Will you two just shut up?!
Sephiroth and Kinneas: NO!
Kinneas, exasperated: Sephiroth, why can't you just be GOOD like the other five?
Sephiroth: BECAUSE I'VE BEEN LOCKED IN CHAINS BY A MENTALLY UNSTABLE PERSON!!!
Kinneas, calmer: Sephiroth, if you don't shut up, I will make you! *pulls out clarinet*
Sephiroth: *whimpers* No.. no! Anything but that!
Kinneas: *raises clarinet to lips*
Sephiroth: KAAAAATTTT!!!!!!
Zack: TIIIIIIIFFFAAAAA!!!
Clarinet playing ensues, along with Zack and Sephiroth's screaming.
~ ~ ~ ~
TifaG, from her account: I've hit a serious slump and he is needed for the last chapter of "Fate" and to get there.... I actually have to write the fourth chapter. *stares at a picture of her muse longingly* Come back! Tifa needs you.....
Kinneas, from her account: Hmm... You have visiting rights. Mainly because I like "Fate" a lot.
Zack: HELP M-
Kinneas: *holds clarinet to his ear* I wouldn't do it....
Zack: Damn..
Vincent: Kinneas, please!
Reno: Let us out!
Sephiroth: ... *passes out*
Kinneas: I'll think about it.
Rufus: You can think?
Kinneas: Just for that, you're not going free!
All: *glare at Rufus*
TifaG: *bounces in like a hippie on speed*
Zack: Teef! Are you here to save me?
TifaG: Just visiting rights. But I have connections.... *giggles insanely*
Sephiroth: Are you here to visit me too?
TifaG: Just Zack.
Sephiroth: Wha..... *yells and kicks*
*Leaving Kinneas to deal with Sephiroth TifaG holds a whisper conversation with Zack*
Zack: YOUR GONNA DO WHAT!!!!
*TifaG whaps Zack over the head and the conversation continues.*
Kinneas: Time's up!
TifaG: You be good to them... I have my accordion of dread.
Zack: You have a what? When did you get that? And how come you never let me play with it?
*TifaG shrugs and heads off to write more of Fate*
Zack: And there she goes....
*Kinneas pulls out clarinet and everybody screams*
TifaG: *from far away* I can't bear to watch.....
Kinneas: *plays insanely on her clarinet*
All: *screaming loudly* STOPPPPPP!!!!
Kinneas: *stops* What's wrong?
Rufus: Erghl... *passes out*
Kinneas: *lightbulb suddenly shines in head* TIFA G! WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING TO DO?!
Casey Crystal: Hey Kinny! Do I visiting rights too? *runs up to Rufus*
Kinneas: DON'T CALL ME KINNY! *blasts Casey with the clarinet and Casey's knocked out cold*
~ ~ ~ ~
Kinneas, in the cafeteria with Daisy Grey: Hmm. I'm considering ending the muse war and letting them all go back to their respective owners.
Daisy: WHY?! Power is good!
Courtney Cox walks by.
Courtney: Vote for me for Treasurer!
Daisy: Vote for me for Prime Minister!
Kinneas: Supreme-Dictator-And-Ruler-Of-All-Muses here!
Daisy: So, Emmy. Can you take me to the muses?
Kinneas: Sure! *POOF they disappear*
.:Inside a Cell Phone:.
Kinneas: Whoops.. wrong place...
Daisy: Yep...
*POOF*
.:Kinneas's Account:.
Cloud and Rufus: Mmmf!
Zack: She's back!
Reno: God help us all...
Daisy: So THESE are the muses... OooooOOOOooooOOOO...
Kinneas: Yep! I think you'll recognize them all.
Sephiroth, thrashing wildly: I WANT OUT! No one imprisons the great Sephiroth! *accidentally kicks Vincent*
Vincent: *jerks awake* Hunnh? ...!
Sephiroth: Dammit I want out!
Vincent: As do I!
All: YEAH!
Daisy: Jeez, Emelia, what do you DO to them?
Kinneas: *pulls out clarinet*
Daisy: Ohhh...
Rufus: Mmmmmmf!
Kinneas takes sock out of Rufus's mouth and Kleenex out of Cloud's mouth.
Rufus: Please, new girl...
Cloud: Set us free!
Daisy: MUAHAHAHA!!! *pulls out her own clarinet*
All: *scream*
Kinneas: You know Zack... I have no use for you anymore.
Zack: You mean you...you don't want me anymore?
Kinneas: Nope!
Zack, looking hopeful: YAY! So I can leave?!
Kinneas: Nope!
Zack: *groans*
Daisy and Kinneas: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *practice their clarinets in semi-unison for Homecoming*
Far, FAR away, Tifa Gainsborough, Kat_Aclysm, and Casey Crystal are weeping for their stolen bishonens/muses...
~ ~ ~ ~
TifaG: I'm so happy! I wrote a yaoi implying Zack/Cloud! Since Zack isn't here….
Aerith: But I'm still here!
TifaG: Oh... shit.
Aerith: *has acquired a pot* You are a devote Aerith/Zack fan! How dare you write Cloud/Zack!
TifaG: But they are cute!
Tifa: That's my man you are talking about.
TifaG: How many seconds head start do I get?
Aerith: Run... run fast and far away!
*TifaG bolts to Kinneas' LJ to hide with her and that clarinet*
Kinneas: TifaG? What are you doing here, you can't have them back!
TifaG: Protect me.... Aerith and Tifa are on the war path.
Zack: What did you do?
TifaG: Shounen-ai Cloud/Zack story.
*Silence fills the LJ*
TifaG: Uh... I'm just gonna go hang out in Kat's LJ now. *runs*
~ ~ ~ ~
Daisy Grey and Kinneas retreat from Homecoming…
Daisy: AAAAAA-
Kinneas: I think I went deaf back there,
Daisy: AAAAAAAAAA-
Kinneas: my feet hurt,
Daisy: AAAAAAAA-
Kinneas: AND WE REALLY SUCKED!
Daisy: AAAAAH!
Vincent: Would you mind refraining from the erratic screaming?
Reno: Yeah, man! Knock it off!
Sephiroth: Desist.
Rufus: Cease.
Cloud: St-
Daisy and Kinneas: WE GET THE POINT!
Cloud: Good!
Kinneas: We really did sound bad, though. But guess what!
All: *groan* What now…
Daisy: *holds up sparkly red marble-looking thingy*
Kinneas: We have a new summon! Cookeville Marching Band! Now you can hear what we all sound like!
All, screaming: NO!!!!!
Daisy: Great Purging!
Sky grows dark, clouds swirling ominously above. A great gale of wind howls across the sky, blowing clouds askew. A metal glimmer shimmers… Suddenly the extremely flat and squeaking CHS Fight Song begins playing. A band of geeks and delinquents descends from the sky, being wildly conducted by a director with a shoe in his hand. They gradually get faster and faster, and laugh in amusement as the director's face goes from =D to =| to =( to 8( in three seconds flat.
Daisy and Kinneas: *go and sit in stands with the rest and play "Louie Louie" with them.
All: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
~To Be Continued~
(A/N: I'll post more as we continue our great fight!!!)