March Madness Contest (Pt. 1) - This is gonna be fun...
*** ACCESSING ALLIANCE MILITARY DATABASE … ***
*** RECEIVING TRANSCRIPT ... ***
*** TRANSCRIPT RECEIVED. ***
*** ENTRY LOG NO. 1 ***
DATE: *REDACTED*, 0837 HRS GALACTIC STANDARD TIME (GST)
C-SEC ACADEMY (SERPENT NEBULA / WIDOW / CITADEL);
KHALISAH AL-JILANI, WESTERLUND NEWS / CDR. JOHN SHEPARD, ALLIANCE MILITARY N7 BRANCH, COUNCIL SPECIAL TACTICS AND RECONNAISSANCE
- Commander Shepard! Commander Shepard!
- Yes? What do you want?
- Khalisah Al-Jilani, Westerlund News. Can I ask you a few questions?
- Make it quick, I don't have time for reporters.
- Our viewers are very concerned about your inauguration as Council Spectre. Some say, it's only a bone the council is throwing humanity.
- In that case, they have thrown a dangerous bone, because if there's a human out there who's up for the task of being the first human spectre, it's me. They chose me because I get the job done. I bring results. I work efficient. I am everything humanity stands for. I'm sure there will soon follow more human spectres.
- Wow, you are pretty confident. Onto our next question. What do you say to the accusation that the most advanced ship in the Alliance Military is handed over to the Council?
- 'Handed over' is such a strong word. Last time I checked, I was the commanding officer on the Normandy, and I'm both human and Alliance. Besides, as soon as the Council can't ignore my competence anymore, we will get a seat on the Council anyway and then this point is moot.
- And what of you alien crew members? Aren't they a security risk?
- No, of course not. Why would we let them on board if they were? They are on the ship because they are all experts in what they do. I only work with the best of the best. And if they happen to be aliens, I don't give a shit. I just invite them aboard. And apparently, it works. We have, just to name a few, a krogan battlemaster, a turian C-Sec-Officer and a quarian machinist aboard and we work just fine together.
- Interesting. What else is interesting, is that not a single batarian is on the ship. Are you xenophobic, or do you just hate batarians?
- I'm not xenophobic. I just haven't met a competent batarian yet whom I could trust. And as I distrust batarians in general since they raided my home colony and killed my parents, I'm proud to say that not a single batarian has set foot on my ship. We even have toilet graffiti with "BATARIANS OUT!" scribbles. They're remarkably detailed and show promising talent.
- Oh, I see. Now that your coming-out as a xenophobic is behind you, will you join up with Cerberus?
- Lady, haven't you been listening? I just said I'm not xenophobic.
- Aha! Dear viewers, did you see how he dodged this question? It is confirmed, Commander Shepard, first human spectre already works for Cerberus, the disavowed, militant branch of Alliance Military!
- Now listen, you deaf doll, Cerberus is a disgrace for humanity. I'd die sooner than to work for Cerberus! Cerberus is a piece of shit; while I encourage promoting human interests, those sick nutjobs experiment on humans, the very same beings whose interests they supposedly have sworn to protect.
- Oh, this keeps getting better and better! Commander Shepard supports Cerberus openly! How long until Alliance command is fully under control of Cerberus? Has it maybe already happened?
*** END OF INTERVIEW DUE TO PHYSICAL VIOLENCE TOWARDS MISS AL-JILANI. ESTIMATED INJURIES: BROKEN NOSE (MS. AL-JILANI); SPLIT LIP (MS. AL-JILANI); BRUISED KNUCKLES (RIGHT HAND) (CDR. SHEPARD). CDR. SHEPARD LEAVES THE SCENE ***
- Oh, I will so sue Alliance command for that one! They will pay dearly for this embarrassment! OUCH!
*** MS. AL-JILANI LEAVES THE SCENE. EYEWITNESSES CONFIRM NEXT LOCATION: DR. MICHEL'S CLINIC ***
*** END OF ENTRY LOG NO. 1 ***