I have incorporated some of my own mission trip experiences over the years volunteering at work camps in this series of five stories called "Renovation." Like any renovation project, it will go through different phases. The characters of the workers of all ages are composite sketches of campers of all ages. None represent actual people. All of the construction and painting projects are based on real projects. This story is part of another chapter in the second part of the "Love Makes A Family" series.
I do not own these characters and make no profit from them.
This story contains allusions to Shakepeare's play "Much Ado About Nothing," and the episode, "The Wiblet Will Get You, if You Don't Watch Out."
Renovation: Teardown
"You have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator." (Colossians 3:9b-10)
Prologue
When one of the families in the Everett's church, the Flemings, was in danger of having their home condemned by the city building inspector, the situation had quickly become a cause for not only Nanny and the Professor, but the Montclaire nursing home residents whom they had befriended, and four of the churches in town. In addition to their own church, St. Andrew's Episcopal, where Prudence was attending Vacation Bible School, there was the Trinity Presbyterian Church that had heard about it through Hal and his new friends at his summer science program, and St. Peter's Roman Catholic Church, whose youth group had learned about it through Trelawney and her friends at the community theatre. They were later joined by the youth group of the Wesleyan Methodist Church, whose teen leader lived up the street from the Flemings.
Such coincidences often happen in life when the hand of God is at work. The summer had been preceded by months of stress for the family, especially Nanny, after the deaths of her parents. In an effort to support a neighbor who was about to enter a local nursing home, Nanny and the Professor had gone to visit her and decided to take her advice to enroll the kids in local summer programs. Within days, opportunities, each suited to the individual interests and talents of the four kids magically presented themselves and the potential for the network was set in place.
When the family had helped Mrs. Kaufman move into the nursing home, the children began befriending several of the residents. Trelawney's friend, Mr. Just Jim, was actually the force behind the project. A veteran of the Great War himself, upon hearing that a recently returned Vietnam veteran was in trouble, he was determined to take action. Purely by chance, he was a retired contractor who had spent years building houses and training returning World War II vets in building skills. With the necessary technical knowledge, he was able to devise a suitable work plan for fixing up the house. With a little bit of persuasion by Nanny, Mrs. Kaufman, and himself, the city inspector accepted it.
It was a rare sight in the 1970s to see different denominations of Christian churches working together. Not even ten years out of Vatican II, the Catholic church was only beginning to look outside itself. A new generation had also begun to see their faith as something that one did not just live, but actually lived out. With their parents and pastors playing key organizational roles, the kids had taken ownership of the project. In no place was this more evident than the entertainment they put together.
Although they had originally had hoped that a few hundred people would show, with a little publicity by a local television station, interest around town exploded. At the last minute, they were able to move it to the high school auditorium, which accommodated the over two thousand people who had attended. The show was a smashing success, in no small part due to the integral role of the family. One of the local pastors, Pastor Jason had noted,
"We do not always know why God puts us in certain places at certain times, but if we follow the path onto which He guides us, we can never get lost. Even when we are not sure of where we are going, it's important to remember that it's God's way, not 'my' way."
Only Nanny had been adversely affected by the entertainment. Despite the obvious benefit of the publicity for the fundraising success of the evening, her sister, Trelawney, had been uncomfortably visible in the spotlight. Her fear that she was still at risk from the attentions of her own ex-fiancé went beyond discomfort. It was beginning to take on a life of its own. It became clear to anyone who knew her well, even if they did not know the whole story, that amidst all of the other negative aspects of her fears, she was beginning to doubt her own faith in the ability of things to work out for the best. Reluctantly, she set her mind on doing her part in the next phase.
Now that Phase I, "Love Out Loud," of the project was complete, Phase II, "Renovation," was ready to start up, and everything seemed to be right on schedule. Were all these coincidences the blind hand of fate or the loving hand of God? For the true believer, there was only one answer.
Chapter 1: God's Plan
Sunday morning came early in the Everett household following the "Love Out Loud" entertainment. By the time everyone was up, Uncle Alfred had gone, leaving behind a note that simply said, "On me way to love out loud. Thanks to you all. Love, Uncle Alfred." Considering some of his less than diplomatic remarks at the end of the show the night before, the Professor thought that it was a smart move for him to get out while the getting out was good. He also suspected that Uncle Alfred was no more eager than Jim was to attend a church service.
On the way to St. Andrew's, they stopped at the Montclaire nursing home to pick up Mrs. Kaufman. She was going to make a report about the success of the show to the congregation that morning after Sunday service. The children were somewhat sleepy, and on a bit of a low, since the excitement was over. Butch protested loudly about going, but the Professor, a bit cranky himself, didn't give him any choice, telling him to be quiet or be grounded for the next two weeks. Not wanting to miss the work project, he quickly shut up.
The Everetts weren't the only sleepy heads in church. It was obvious that there were many parents dragging reluctant children there. However, it appeared that Pastor Paul was pumped up. He was energetically preaching on the parable of the good Samaritan, making the point that last night there were lots of folks who had "stopped to help," and not only from their church, but three, four if you count the Baptist choir, others. And now another church, Wesleyan Methodist, had also stepped up. Joni Fleming was sitting in the front row with her six kids. Her husband, Eliot, hadn't come, but that was not unusual.
After the service, the Sunday School teachers served punch and cookies to the kids, while the adults met to hear the report from Mrs. Kaufman.
"No two ways about it," she started off, "It was a huge success. Lottie and the finance committee folks were up counting donations and sales from the refreshments until long past midnight. We pulled in well over ten thousand dollars. We've definitely got our supplies paid for. Jim's going to be running a meeting this afternoon for representatives from each church to decide how to put the excess to use best."
"Where and when will that be?" asked Pastor Paul.
"Since the big kickoff picnic will be at St. Pete's at four, the meeting will start at the conference room there at three," she said. "Jim wants to limit it to the pastor and two representatives from each church. That will make a dozen church folks and then the four of us. Since the Wesleyan youth group has joined up, Lottie is going to be their contact person."
"Makes sense," said Pastor Paul. "I have to admit that I am starting to feel a bit guilty about our own kids."
"Why is that?" asked the Professor.
"Well, it seems that these other three churches, because they are all being run by, um, younger guys than me, have really active youth groups for their teenagers. Working with teenagers has never really been my "thing" so to speak. In fact we don't have many post-confirmation kids even attending weekly services," he explained. "Truth be told, I am not much good with the little kids either. That's why I am so grateful that we have a great band of church ladies to run the Sunday School."
"We had the Vacation Bible School this summer," pointed out Joni.
"Yeah, but again, that was for the younger kids. I'm afraid that unless someone comes forward to start up a program for the high school students, that after they make their confirmations, we're going to begin to lose them to the other churches. I know that some of them are already making noises about going over to Trinity or St. Pete's."
"It's a tough call, Pastor," said the Professor. "Teenagers today don't have the same view of religion that we did when we were growing up. They care more about socializing and doing things by way of service projects, than they do about doctrine or theology."
"Well," said Pastor Paul. "That's not a bad thing either. For many of them, it's good that they have the opportunity to meet other kids who share the same kind of moral values. And the basis of Christ's gospel is service to others. But we need to think of having something to offer them as well."
"Well, we do have a bit of a start, don't we?" asked one of the other moms. "Our kids do have their own work crew out on the worksite, don't they?"
"Yes, they do," said Pastor Paul. "But they don't have a real youth leader, by way of an older teen or one of our adults. Jim, our very proud heathen, will be looking out for them, and also Bill, the guy who is also helping us to get the paint and other supplies. But the kids probably won't view themselves as a youth group unless we can find an adult who likes to work with young people to start having regular meetings. Then maybe he or she could cultivate a student leader like Mike, Kevin, or Topher. They're great roles for the younger kids in their churches."
"And ours," admitted the Professor, thinking of his son, Hal and his growing friendship with Topher. To the Professor's way of thinking, that young man had it all, brilliant scientific mind, solid Christian values, and a kind and generous heart. He was just the kind of young person that he hoped his own son would grow into in three or four years.
"Well," said Mrs. Kaufman. "Maybe we should all pray on it. Our young people are the future of our church. Before we will know it, they will be adults themselves and we can only hope that they will want to bring their own children to church."
"So what is the next step with THIS project, for us?" asked Nanny with a bit of an edge in her voice. She was tired from a poor night's sleep, and just wanted to get home. Normally, she had more patience for these church meetings that often became endless due to various digressions in the discussions, but it had been a long night and she was still feeling anxious. She noticed that the Professor gave her a look of concern.
"Okay, Joni," nodded Pastor Paul. "You explain it."
"Well, as if there haven't been enough miracles this week, Fr. Bob has come up with a solution to the problem of having my family living in the house while all the work was going on," she said. "Jim and Rosemary talked to the director at the nursing home and arranged for Eliot to go there for the next two weeks. He was resistant at first, but when he realized that it would be quiet and peaceful, he agreed. There's a couple of other vets, who live there, for him to hang out with and I can bring the kids over to visit every day."
"Yes," supplied Mrs. Kaufman. "We all thought that this was the best answer to the problem. Now tell them about you and the kids."
"Well, once again it was Fr. Bob to the rescue," continued Joni. "Apparently, there is more space in his rectory than he needs right now. Because he has the extra bedrooms, he offered to let me and the kids stay there until the house is ready. His housekeeper is a little concerned about the extra work, but we were hoping that you would help out, Nanny."
"I would love to!" she said, with more enthusiasm than she felt. "All the children except Prudence will be working at the house and she can come along and help with the younger ones, not to mention play with Molly."
The Professor gave her a sidelong look, and with a smile she said, "Don't worry, I won't try to do everything myself."
"We'll make sure that she doesn't," said Mrs. Kaufman, who privately had her own concerns. She had seen Nanny last night when the reporter got near Trelawney. She was afraid she'd have a breakdown right then and there. Glancing surreptitiously at the Professor, she caught his eye and could see his relief. She gave him a little nod of assurance.
"Well then," said Pastor Paul. "It looks like we have a plan of action for phase two of our project. Now why don't all of us join hands for a closing prayer."
After they dropped off Mrs. Kaufman at the nursing home, the Everetts drove home to rest up before the picnic at four pm. The Professor insisted that Nanny rest in her own bedroom, and that the kids keep themselves occupied. After a while, he went up to check on her and discovered her sound asleep with a soft smile on her face. He resisted the temptation to stroke her hair or kiss her cheek, afraid that she might wake up. She needed her rest for the coming week.
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Nanny and the Professor had decided not to attend the three o' clock meeting, but let others from the church have the opportunity to put forth their ideas. Fortunately, Fr. Bob had become regular visitor at the nursing home and was happy to go and pick up the four older folks. Being a Catholic priest, Fr. Bob did not have a family, a wife and children, to worry about. It meant that he could give his complete focus to his parish in general and this project in particular. Perpetually cheerful, and with seemingly boundless energy, he was always willing to step into any role they asked.
The family arrived at the picnic a little after four o'clock, and the kids immediately dispersed to find their friends. Prudence ran off to find Molly. Francine had come along because, despite the disapproval of her mother, she wanted to help. However, since most of their friends from the community theatre had come from St. Peter's, she and Trelawney headed off towards them. Hal went off to find Topher, who of course was with the Trinity kids. Pastor Paul was not wrong to be concerned about the future of the St. Andrew's teens.
Butch and had become friendly with Mike's younger brother Tim, the kid who had done such a great job of embarrassing his brother last night. Like Butch, he had been dragged over to the high school for the day and had been put to work by Fr. Bob on the sets. Nanny had been interested to discover that the two boys were Lois' sons. Considering that they were what they would call "gingers" back home, while she was an attractive brunette, it was difficult to see the family resemblance.
Lois came over to greet Nanny and the Professor. "So are you beginning to recover after the big night?"
"On the mend," said Nanny. "How about you? You were much more involved than I was."
"Oh," replied Lois. "If it's not one thing it's another. I'm pretty much a 'career volunteer,' as they like to call us. I'm glad that my part is pretty much done, although the boys will still be involved over at the house. With school starting up soon. I have lots of PTA business to get cranked up. You know, with four kids in the schools, you should really think about getting involved. We could really use your help."
Nanny smiled. "Well, I don't know if I'm ready for that. I'm not much for politics, you know."
"You do a good job of hiding that, considering that you were the one who rather boldly marched down to city hall last week to get that extension," answered Lois with a smile.
"At any rate, I'm not officially anyone's mother yet," attempted Nanny a second time.
"Something tells me that you will be soon," answered Lois knowingly. She was amused to see Nanny blush, as the Professor looked at her a little more than fondly. There were times recently when she had to wonder who they thought that they were kidding. Professor Everett must have decided that this would be a good time for him separate himself from the conversation, because he excused himself to go talk to Pastor Paul.
Left alone with Nanny, Lois took her arm to walk her over to a quieter spot.
"I really do envy you," she admitted.
Nanny looked surprised, "Why?"
"Well, the worst kept secret in town is how much that guy over there loves you. And judging by the present shade of your complexion, I'd say that the feeling is mutual," she said and added, "And that's one great brood of kids."
"Thanks for the compliment about the kids. Your boys are terrific. Mike is so talented, and Butch hasn't stopped talking about Tim since yesterday," answered Nanny.
Lois looked a little uncomfortable. Nanny was sorry that she had mentioned it, but Lois was the one who had brought the topic of family up first.
"Well, to be honest, things aren't as great as you might think. You haven't been around long enough to know this, but my husband left us about a year ago. He found himself a younger woman, and decided to move out. It's been pretty rough on the boys. They love their Dad, but they feel betrayed because he left us to live with his girlfriend," she explained. "Mike won't even talk to him. Tim is confused. He is not really sure of what is up with the girlfriend and he seems to be picking up on Mike's vibes. Mike has a lot of anger."
"That's terrible!" replied Nanny. "What are you doing about it?"
"Well, at the moment, there's not much I can do," she said. "Mike, senior that is, is still paying all the bills, so our lifestyle hasn't changed. He also hasn't taken any legal action. I asked him to come to marriage counseling with me but he refused, so I decided to go alone. For now, as long as I don't have to deal with a divorce, I can pretend that it's not there. A part of me is very hurt and angry, but another part just wants him to come home. Twenty years and two kids is not exactly something that you just throw away over a mid-life crisis."
Nanny was silent. Here was a woman who was obviously suffering, yet never showed a bit of distress. Not for the first time, she could see that the natures and dynamics of human suffering were many.
"With all that going on," said Nanny slowly. "It's astounding that you are able to get so many things accomplished in your numerous organizations."
"Well," said Lois. "I've discussed that a lot with my counselor. She says that I use all of my volunteer activities to avoid my personal issues. She said that it's not really an uncommon thing for women who are having problems. The phrase she used to describe it is, 'save the world, save myself.' It really makes sense."
"I guess it does," said Nanny, who could certainly identify with Lois's description. She had to admire the woman for her forthrightness, not just about her troubles, but about the fact that she was in counseling. She spoke of it as if it was a totally normal thing. She herself could never be so open with an almost complete stranger. Yet, she had always tried to inspire trust in others. If Lois needed a friend to listen, then she was happy to oblige. Her involvement in "the situation" was certainly opening up doors to new relationships for her.
Before the summer, she had not had any real friendships with any other women in town. Now, in addition to her nursing home friends, she was beginning to meet others around her own age, with whom, she shared the same kinds of parental interests, activities, and concerns. Because her role as nanny to families all over the world had kept her constantly on the move, she had never lived in the same community for more than a few months as a time. And a nanny, even one in a motherless household, was not expected to participate in such things as PTAs or room mothers.
Prudence had been hinting around for the past few weeks that she wanted Nanny to be her room mother for the upcoming school year. However, the issue was a moot point because there was absolutely no chance that she and Hal would be married before school started. Now Lois was also encouraging her to step up into a more public parental role. While the woman was clearly offering friendship, she also probably knew a good worker when she saw one. To get her mind off the anxiety that she could feel building at the idea of adding more activities to her already busy life, she began to scan the area for the family.
Hal was with Topher and a group of teens, mostly boys, who she knew had been part of his science program. They were having an animated discussion about something. Hal seemed to be the youngest among them, but he was clearly welcome and enjoying himself. Butch was running around with Nick Fleming and Tim Lenihan. It was hard to tell what they were doing other than chasing each other, but they were having fun. Prudence, of course, was with Molly and the other Fleming girls, Sue and Ella, watching the twins, while Joni talked with the pastors. She and Eliot had made their moves this afternoon.
Trelawney and Francine were with a group of kids, who must have been from the community theatre group. She watched as the two girls walked arm in arm over to a patch of grass to sit and chat with a few other girls their age. The girls were whispering and giggling like all girls that age do. She was happy to have the opportunity to watch her sister interact with girls her own age. Whatever the problem had been with the fifth grade girls last winter, it had clearly had nothing to do with her social skills. Despite the heartache and fear that the child had been through, it appeared that she had developed a real resiliency through her suffering. Not for the first time, she wished the same were also true for herself.
Finally her eyes rested on the Professor. She could see that he had found a couple of men who must have also been golfers since they were comparing strokes. He looked handsome and athletic standing there in the sun. Wistfully she noticed that, away her, he looked calm and relaxed. Lois had followed her gaze.
"You're a lucky woman, Nanny," she quietly.
Her focus never shifted away from him as she said softly, "I know."
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It was nearly 4:30 when Fr. Bob and the pastors finally called everyone together. They wanted to get the work plans out and be organized before dinner. The plan was to give each "work crew" their "work plan" which was essentially a list of tasks, in priority order, with instructions. Each work crew would have their own "site coach," an older man skilled in whatever jobs the kids were set to do.
Bill, the man whose brother owned a paint store, as it happened, had put himself through college back in the day by painting houses. He would handle the St. Andrews kids who would be painting the house. Donny, the head usher at St. Peters, was a retired roofer who would help those kids repair and rebuild the roof. Ted, the carpenter who lived up the street from the Flemings, was going to take some time away from his own business to teach and advise the Trinity group.
Both Ted and Bill were going to be working with the Wesleyan youth group who would be led by Pastor Mark. Pastor Jason planned to float around between the groups working on the house. His unofficial job was to keep everyone happy and collegial. He referred to himself disparagingly as the "court jester." Jim was the "foreman," a title that tickled him.
The pastors were all very pleased with their plan. They had their jobs organized and assigned, their teachers and coaches in place, and felt that everything was good to go. As the group crowded around the tree that they had chosen as their central point, there seemed to be some talk and movement among the youth. Pastor Jason called everyone to order. Standing up with him were the other three pastors, Jim, Ted, Bill, and Donny. He introduced each of the three site coaches and in turn, each explained the aspect of the job that he was in charge of. Jim, of course, needed no introduction.
Pastor Jason then returned to "center stage" and prepared to explain the organization of the work crews. However, before he could begin to talk, the three teen youth leaders, Topher Tucker, Mike Lenihan, and Kevin Smith stood up and came forward.
"We mean no disrespect to you, but we've been talking to the other kids in our youth groups and we want to change how the crews are organized," explained Topher.
Pastor Jason's experience had taught him that it was better to listen to discontented young people first and ask questions later. Saying no right off the bat could often lead to problems. Having gotten to know all three of the young people in the past few days, he knew that they were serious about the job, even if they were perhaps a little too serious about themselves.
Quickly he said, "Talk to me!"
"You all have organized the work crews based on what church we go to, but we think that it would be better if we got to mix things up so that each crew could have kids on it from all four churches. That way we get to do the jobs that we want to do and get to know new kids," he continued.
"Well, we found that so far all of the fund-raising and prep work has happened most effectively by giving each church its own task. It has meant that we haven't had any conflicts," said Pastor Paul.
Three boys looked at each other and then back to the other kids. Some of the kids were smiling, while others just nodded in encouragement. Mike stepped forward and said,
"No offense, but that's because you are adults. Just because we are doing one job or another, we don't really feel like we need to run it or be in charge of a project just because of what church we go to. It sounds like these guys are in charge anyway. We just want to help out and have fun. St. Peters has been assigned the roof, but Fr. Bob, the girls are scared to go up on the roof. They want to paint with the St. Andrews kids. And some of the Trinity kids want to go up on the roof, not work, on the ground, building the porch. And well, some of the kids working on the fence want to build the porch. We've also got a couple of kids St. Andrew's and St. Pete's who are dying to paint, but are too young. Well, maybe they can't paint the house, but they're about the same age as Tom Sawyer was when he painted the fence."
"And everybody wants to do the demolition," added Kevin.
Fr. Bob looked at them and said, "You guys are really serious, aren't you?"
"Never more so, Father," said Mike. "If the Gentiles and the Jews could learn to get along in the early church, we think that we can too."
Pastor Mark looked at Kevin and said, "Are you sure about that, Kev? That yard project has been your baby for a week now."
"Pastor, it isn't my project anymore, it's our project. And if kids from the other churches want to help, that's great. And if some of our kids want to go on the roof or paint the house, that's great too. It doesn't matter who does what as long as the job gets done and gets done well," replied Kevin.
"Besides Pastor," said Topher. "We pretty much know each other already, even if it's only by name and face. We might go to different churches, but we go to school together, play on teams; participate in scouts, school band, and community theatre. We don't really identify ourselves by our churches as much as you older people do."
"I'm starting to get the feeling that I'm going to be getting a lesson over the next two weeks in Christian service and ecumenism," said Pastor Mark.
"If you say so," shrugged Kevin. "You're never too old to learn."
Pastor Jason smiled, when he heard the patronizing tone. "Something tells me that if we say no, in their eyes, we will change from the Four Evangelists to the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, to misquote a salty old gentleman."
"Okay, kids," said Fr. Bob. "We'll do it your way. But you're going to have to do a lot of organizing to pull these work crews together by tomorrow."
"Don't worry, Father," said Mike. "We have a plan of our own."
"I had a feeling you were going to say that!" answered Fr. Bob brightly. It was easy for him to say. With the Fleming kids at the rectory for two weeks, he was going to "help" Joni out, which was code for, he was going to spend his spare time playing with them and entertaining them. He was looking forward to it mightily.
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When the kids came downstairs to say goodnight later that night, the Professor commented, "I think that it's very interesting the way that the picnic turned out tonight."
"I think it's groovy," said Hal. "Now I get to build the porch with Topher."
"And Francine gets to paint with us," said Trelawney. "We were afraid that they were going to make her go up on the roof because she goes to St. Peters. Mrs. Fowler's original objection was that under no circumstances did she want her up on that roof. She is perfectly fine with her painting."
Everyone laughed at her dead on mimicry of Mrs. Fowler's voice tone and pitch, not to mention the facial expression.
"I think that it's Butch who has made out the best of all though," said Nanny, trying to ignore the distinctly unchristian behavior.
"Yeah!" he grinned. "Tim and I get to help build and paint the fence. I'm really glad that Pastor Mark was so cool about letting us help, even though we're only nine."
"Well, son," said the Professor. "I would say that you and Tim earned that right after all of your hard work yesterday. Mrs. Lenihan and I got lots of compliments about what great workers both of you are."
"It was neat-o!" said Butch proudly.
"Nanny and I are going to help Mrs. Fleming with the kids. What are you going to do, Daddy?" asked Prudence.
Five pairs of eyes all looked at him expectantly.
"Well, I've got a new semester to get ready for," said the Professor. "But I did promise Jim that I would be in the reserves."
"The reserves?" asked Hal suspiciously.
"Well, gang, don't be insulted by this, but Jim wants to make sure that that job is done on time. If things come down to the wire by the middle of the second week, Jim has a group of men from the four churches who will come in with an extra burst of steam to help you finish it off," explained the Professor.
"Doesn't he trust us?" asked Trelawney.
"It's not a matter of trust, sweetie. It's a matter of priorities. The most important thing for us to do is make that deadline, so that in twelve days, the Flemings have a home to return to," he replied. "Remember that old Jim was a soldier. No general goes into battle without troops in reserve."
"Even sports teams have reserve players," added Nanny. "Don't they, Butch?"
Butch thought a minute and said, "Yeah. I guess that we could think of the old guys as the second string."
He was so serious that the others laughed.
"Old guys . . ." muttered the Professor. "Okay, troops, off to bed! You've got a big day tomorrow!"
As the kids went back upstairs, Hal turned his attention back to Phoebe. She looked worried.
"Hal, what if Harvey Sloan shows up with his cameras?"
"Phoebe, please don't start that again. Pastor Jason will be there, and Topher, and Jim. No one is going to let him get anywhere near her," he said soothingly.
"Well, he almost got to her last night," she said. Hal could see her fears rising. He put his arm around her and held her close.
"If you try to stop her from going," he said gently, "you are going to upset her very much. Phoebe, you saw her tonight. She's happy. When she's with all of those other kids, she's like a little kid herself, finally. And she's so busy that she's staying out of trouble."
"But, Hal . . ." she started, but couldn't finish. She knew that he was right. After a moment of thought, she pulled away.
Hal watched as she got up and walked over to liquor cabinet. Pouring herself a large tumbler of whiskey neat, she downed it in two gulps. He walked over, took the glass from her hand, and took her in his arms. However, she rested uneasily against him. Hal sensed within her a combination of foreboding and despair. Once again he felt helpless.
After he walked her to her bedroom, he went to his own, closed the door and sitting on his bed put his head in his hands for almost an hour. However, he finally got up. If she was going to give up, he was not. Quietly he walked back down the hall to her room. Softly opening the door, he could see that she was sleeping, although restlessly. After a moment he made up his mind and quietly closed the door.
Going directly to his study, he got out the piece of paper with Phil's home number on it. He knew it was late, but he did not want to wait until their appointment on Tuesday morning.
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Chapter 2: Baby Steps
Immediately after all the children were dropped off the next morning, Phoebe and Hal had their second meeting with Dr. Meyers.
"So what's been going on since I last saw you?" he asked, ignoring the fact that the appointment had been pushed up by twenty-four hours and he had had a long talk with Hal the night before.
Phoebe looked reproachfully at Hal, who gave him a rundown of the events of the last week, including the anxiety on Saturday night over the reporter and the renewed anxiety the night before. Dr. Meyers looked at them and asked,
"Phoebe don't you have anything to say?"
She shook her head and looked at her hands.
"Phoebe," he said gently, "Look at me. You cannot tell me that a woman like you is going to let any man, even this guy over here whom you love so much, speak on your behalf. I can't help you if you won't talk to me."
Tears began to form in her eyes.
"It's okay," he said in a low and soothing tone. "You're safe here. Hal and I are here to make sure that if you face up to everything that is concerning you, we will keep you safe. Don't be afraid to say whatever is on your mind."
She looked at both of them and could see that their eyes were filled with concern, Hal's with love. She took a deep breath.
"I thought that I was feeling better. By the end of the week, after our last session, I really thought that I was moving forward. And then Saturday night came and it all came apart. I couldn't let go of my fears about my sister. I still can't. Right now all I can think about is the fact that at any minute that reporter is going to show up at the house, and the next thing we know her face will be all over the news. I don't know what's wrong with me," she said, becoming tearful.
Hal put his arm around her and kissed her head. She buried her face in his shoulder.
"Look at me," said Dr. Meyers. "I will not speak to you unless you face me."
Reluctantly, she looked up.
"First of all, you will not conquer all your fears and anxieties in one session. It will probably take weeks to unravel and overcome all of this. Think of all the months it took for them to grab hold of you. Second, I know that you find great comfort in Hal and view him as your protector. But you can't rely on him to this degree forever. We call that enabling. As long as you turn to him whenever you feel the least bit weak and he takes over, he is enabling your behavior," he explained sternly, but kindly.
"Hal, there are going to be times when you will have to let go and let her face her own issues, by herself. If you want a strong relationship, you can't allow yourselves to get caught up in an over dependence on each other. It is not only not good for you, it will be harmful to the other relationships that you both have. In turn the kids will model your behavior, and it will become a vicious cycle," he concluded.
Phoebe sat up and moved a little bit away from Hal. He offered her his hand. She grasped it and he gave it a little squeeze.
Dr. Meyers nodded. "That's better. Hal will be there for comfort and support, but you will learn to stand on your own two feet again. I presume that that is what you want."
"Yes," she said quietly.
"Okay, then, think of this as baby steps. When a baby is first learning to walk she can often take only a few steps and before she falls down. But the baby wants to walk, so she picks herself up and tries again. Every once in a while she looks for something to hold onto, to steady herself. But that's okay. She'll never learn to walk unless she does everything that she can to stay on her feet," he said. She slowly nodded.
"Last week you took some baby steps. And you kept trying, but on Saturday you fell down. It sounds as though you haven't pick yourself up yet. Don't look down. Now, look up. Always look up," he explained.
She nodded again, and looked down as if collecting herself. Hal and Dr. Meyers patiently waited, Hal trying to project all the emotional strength that he could muster into her. After a moment of silence, she looked up at Hal. He gave her a little smile and squeezed her hand. Holding his gaze, she took a deep breath and began to unburden her heart. Her fears, rational and irrational, came tumbling out. And with them, came the tears.
There was a single exception. She never once mentioned the unicorn. Hal made a mental note to ask Phil about that at another time.
When she needed a break, Hal gently spoke to her and expressed his own fears and concerns. Dr. Meyers kept asking them how they felt about things. They talked this way for over an hour.
However, one issue arose that caused him great concern. When Hal told him about his solution for helping Phoebe to sleep by giving her a double shot of whiskey before bed, he was troubled. He was even more troubled to learn that she had dosed herself the night before.
"Most people don't realize it, but the most abused drug in this country is alcohol. Getting into the habit of drinking to help you sleep because of anxiety can easily become a habit of drinking whenever you feel anxious. This insidious kind of alcohol use can evolve into full scale addiction," he explained. "I want to stop it now."
Hal was frustrated. "I don't know what else to do."
Phoebe looked remote. Dr. Meyers looked at her. "I have a suggestion, but I suspect that you are not going to like it."
She steeled herself and said, "I'm listening."
"Hal, I want to give you a prescription for Valium. Before you get up and walk out, Phoebe, hear me out. Hal is going to hold onto the bottle. I want it locked away where you can't get to it yourself. And Hal, I only want you to give her a pill if it becomes clear that it is the only way for her to get to sleep," he said. "And I want you to put a lock on your liquor cabinet."
Phoebe was stunned. It was enough that she had agreed to these counseling sessions. There was no way that she would agree to taking any kind of drug. Hal resisted the temptation to put his arm around her for comfort. To be perfectly honest, he thought that it was a good idea. He looked at her and realized that she had read his thoughts and was getting angry at him. But before she could speak he said,
"I think that this is the only way. It wouldn't be permanent, in fact if we could just get you past this one point, we probably wouldn't need it for long."
"No," she said firmly looking at him. And then turning to Dr. Meyers, even more firmly said, "And don't even think about giving him the pills so that he can put them in my tea or milk unawares."
Dr. Meyers was surprised that she knew exactly what he was thinking. He wondered how far her intuitive powers extended.
"Farther than you realize," she said answering his question as if he had asked it out loud.
"Phoebe, please," said Hal. "This is not going to help. You promised to cooperate."
Dr. Meyers realized that there was something going on with her that Hal was clearly aware of and hadn't told him. He then understood that the only way that he should get her to cooperate would probably be to back down. This was not merely a matter of her closing off her own mind. That fact that she could read his, apparently at will, would completely undermine any chance of the therapy working.
"'At will' is a good way of putting it," she said. "I have very little other control in my life right now. If I choose, I will hang on to this little bit, thank you very much."
Hal looked at him pleadingly and he made up his mind.
"I can see that you are very much opposed to any kind of drug therapy," he said. "But if that is so, then you will both have to promise not to use alcohol as a coping device."
"I promise. You don't even have to lock the liquor cabinet," she said immediately. "I don't like hard liquor anyway."
"I promise," said Hal reluctantly. "But we are going to have to find a way to get you over these nightmares."
"The nightmares will persist until you can let go of all your latent fears," said Dr. Meyers to Phoebe. "You are going to have drag them out of your subconscious so that you can face them and put them away."
"I know," she sighed. Once again, she felt tired and just wanted to go home. Then she saw Hal smiling, and was instantly annoyed again.
"Don't say it," she said through gritted teeth. Realizing that he was not going to be able to control himself, she folded her arms in front of her and heaved a great sigh. The expression on her face was very cross. Once more, Dr. Meyers was concerned about the fact that she obviously mindreading again. However, Hal had a definitely mischievous look in his eye.
"We only have to hold him for a minute," he said in a British accent and tone of voice clearly meant to imitate hers. "If you once see a Wiblet quite clearly in a bright light, you'll burst out laughing. It's a silly looking creature really. And once he's been laughed at, he will never return again."
"I don't suppose that either of you is going to tell me what a Wiblet is?" asked
Dr. Meyers.
"I'm afraid if you ask, Phoebe will just tell you that it's a Globbermore," said Hal, as she continued to look at him stormily.
"I promise, Phil. The whiskey was my idea. I'll lock up the liquor cabinet myself and give the key to Phoebe so she can . . ." he started.
"Don't say it," she said threateningly.
"Keep it safe," he finished, giving Phil a wink.
"Good," he replied. "I would like to see you back here again this week, Wednesday and Friday. Three times a week may be rough but if you can keep coming back, ready to be open and honest, you may start to see more progress. You must not get discouraged."
Since it was the end of the session, he said, "I want you both to think about this between now and Wednesday. A wise man once said, 'Turn your face towards the sun, and let the shadow of your sorrows fall behind you."
Phoebe looked at him thoughtfully and repeated, "Turn your face towards the sun, and let the shadow of your sorrows fall behind you."
The session had been so intense, that Hal decided to risk incurring her wrath again by breaking the tension.
"Some day, I this feeling that some appropriate circumstance will come up, and I will hear you say, 'as my Uncle Phil always said, turn your face towards the sun and let the shadow of your sorrows fall behind you.'"
She looked at him in outrage once more and Dr. Meyers looked puzzled.
"Sorry, Phil, that's a private joke."
Phoebe opened her mouth to say something, but Hal stopped it with a kiss before she could get out a word. Dr. Meyers was amused by how quickly she gave up her annoyance to the pleasure she clearly felt kissing him. It seemed that she was a passionate woman in many emotional contexts. It was now obvious that this time she was not running into Hal's arms for comfort. She was seeking an entirely different kind of response.
Phoebe was a complex woman. It was obvious that she was extremely intuitive and that she was capable of using her intuitive powers, which seemed to be bordering on ESP, as a defense mechanism at will. She was also showing very clear signs of depression, as well as anxiety. Whatever her intuitive powers however, there were things going on in her own mind that even she could not discern. Dosing herself up with liquor last night could only have been an unconscious cry for help. Consciously, she was still in denial, but she was coming closer to realizing that something was very wrong and she needed to address it. If she was depressed, then the Valium might not have been a good choice anyway.
It was also clear that Hal knew all about her intuitive powers and was used to "fielding" them. Twice he had watched him gently tease her, as well as try to rein her in. It appeared that he not only accepted this quirk, he was not above toying with it himself. He seemed to genuinely enjoy something that would drive most men crazy. He also seemed to be very intuitive himself where her thoughts were concerned. For some reason, he had neglected to mention her unique quality to him. He fully intended to follow up with him. Among other things, he needed to consider it when helping her surface the anxieties that she had so effectively buried.
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On their way home Hal looked over at Phoebe sitting beside him and said, "That was uncalled for."
"So was his suggestion," she said tersely, getting riled again.
"But don't you think that you overreacted just a little?" he said. "I don't think that he meant it as the huge insult that you took it for."
She didn't answer him, but he could see the tears in her eyes again. Because she had turned her head away from him, he couldn't tell if they were due to anger, frustration, sadness or a combination of all three. He decided that he wouldn't try talking to her again until they got home.
As soon as they were in the house, she went off to the kitchen and he to his study. He had to get to work on his courses for school. On the first day he had to be ready with a syllabus for each of his four courses. It didn't seem to matter how many times he taught a class. He still felt the need to recreate every syllabus from the beginning. He found himself wishing that there was another way to edit a new syllabus rather than by having to regenerate the whole thing from scratch. Even if he were using the same one as last year, he would still have to retype it with all of the new assignment dates.
While he was griping to himself, he was wondering why he hadn't thought to invest in one of those new electric typewriters. He had seen them in some of the offices at the university and they seemed to run lightening fast. As he was re-outlining one of the classes on a yellow pad, Phoebe came in to announce lunch.
She was subdued. It occurred to him that it was easier for him to put the session out of his mind since he had jumped into his work as soon as he came home. She had obviously been stewing over it as she made lunch. After she seated herself beside him, he idly picked up her hand from the table and kissed it. Catching her eye, he pressed his lips close to her fingers again and kissed each one. She reluctantly smiled.
"I'm sorry that I lost my temper," she said.
"Yes, you certainly did," he said. "I don't think that I've ever seen you do that before except with Trelawney, but that is perfectly understandable. She could make the saints and the angels weep."
"I'm afraid that Dr. Meyers was a bit taken aback by my little display, shall we say."
"More than taken aback, I'm sure," replied Hal. "I have no doubt that he is going to interrogate me regarding your, uh, intuition, the next time I see him."
She looked back at him guiltily.
"What do you want me to tell him?" asked Hal.
"You mean about . . ."
"Phoebe, I don't even understand it. Both Emmeline and Aunt Justine have tried to explain it to me, but it makes no scientific sense. I told Aunt Justine that I have given up trying to figure it out because I love you as you are. If you were anything other than what you are, I probably wouldn't love you," he said.
She was amused, "Well, the Figalilly ability to talk in circumlocutions has clearly worn off on you. Although I must admit that just now you sounded a bit like Seignior Benedick in Much Ado About Nothing. I don't think that Dr. Meyers would be anymore satisfied with that explanation than any one that I might give him."
"I'll take that as a compliment," said Hal. "I think. However, in my defense about what I just said, after you came here, I started to feel the way that he did about Beatrice and her clever tongue, that is before the matchmakers managed to trick them into realizing that they were in love with each other."
"What are your plans for the afternoon?" she asked casually. "And I'm not sure that I would cast Trelawney and Hal as Hero and Count Claudio."
"Well, I was planning on getting some of my prep work out of the way for the new semester," he answered. "Hmm, Uncle Alfred would make a good Dogberry, not to mention Aunt Agatha in the role of Ursula."
"You know, you could very easily do that later, after the kids come home," she suggested. "It's amazing how well Shakespeare knew human nature."
"Yeah, but then the house will be noisier," he said absently.
"Well," she said with a hopeful look in her eyes. "It's quieter now, but it's also emptier."
He looked at her more closely and realized that he was about to lose his opportunity for a few nice quiet hours to work. The look told him that, despite the playful facade that she had just manufactured, she needed his undivided attention, with just the two of them in the house. It didn't take him long to make up his mind. He stood up and taking her hand led her to the living room. She curled up in his lap on the couch.
"I love you," she said as she snuggled into his arms. Before he knew it, she was asleep. Despite the fact that her repose was peaceful, her face still looked troubled. Thinking back to Trelawney's earlier words in the middle of the night, he realized that in her mind, the unicorn was drawing closer. He held her tighter. He knew why she wanted to nap here with him rather than upstairs in her own bed by herself. She needed him to keep the unicorn at bay. Assuming his role as "gallant knight" he found himself nodding off as well. It had been a difficult night and morning for both of them.
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Chapter 3: Creative Destruction
It was late on Tuesday afternoon, when Nanny and the Professor went out to the worksite to pick up the kids. There were about a dozen other parents there to pick up kids. The mood among the workers was looking a little downcast. The kids, with Pastor Jason and Pastor Mark, were all sacked out in the yard in front of the house. The porch had been partially torn out, the fence pulled up and there were piles of debris from both. The sides of the house had been scraped and power washed, while most of the old window frames had been torn out. A blue tarp covered the roof. The place looked worse than ever.
Jim, however, was standing in front of them saying "You kids have done an amazing job so far!"
"Amazing?" cried out Trelawney. "All it looks like we've done is make a big, bloody mess."
"Watch your language, young lady, or I'll tell your sister," he said sharply. "You all are forgetting that before we could start fixing this place up, we would have to pull some stuff down. Now my memory's not what it used to be, but I definitely recall that all of you were just dying to begin with the demolition."
"What did you think that meant?" he asked looking hard at them.
The kids all sheepishly looked at one another.
"Now we can start building that fence. The house is ready to prime and we can start working on those windows. Now the roof here is going to take a little longer than we expected, because we've got more beams to replace in the attic than I thought, but that's no worry. I still can't believe all the stuff we keep finding under that porch, but before you know it, we'll have her cleared out," he explained.
The kids began to look hopeful.
"You see what we just did is a 'teardown.' We tore down all the stuff that was too rotted to be saved and cleared away the debris, sort of. I think that we're going to need at least one more dumpster. From now on we're going to focus on building up," he said. "You wait and see. By tomorrow at this time, I promise you, there will be progress that you can see."
"Hey, Jim!" called the Professor. "Troops about to disband for the night?"
"I think I can let them go. I didn't realize they were such powder puffs, getting all discouraged over a little teardown," he continued.
"We are NOT powder puffs!" said Topher defensively.
"Well," said the Professor. "I think, my budding scientific genius, that you have just had an object lesson in a very important principal of physics."
"What is that, sir?" asked the young man respectfully, knowing that he was talking to one of the top mathematics professors in the state.
"Creative destruction," explained the Professor. "If you are going to create something brand new, then sometimes you have to destroy something old. It's the only way to make space for the new thing."
Topher looked very sheepish. "I knew that. I guess I just forgot that some scientific concepts can be applied to multiple contexts."
"That's right," said the Professor. "Never be afraid to take risks or fear the unexpected. In this case, old Jim, here, knew that the work was on track. You should have trusted him. And trust me, if things were not going well, then he would be the first one to tell you."
"You got that right, son!" affirmed Jim.
"And, kids, there's another thing that I would like to remind you all of," added the Professor.
"Oh, brother!" said Hal, rolling his eyes.
Topher gave him a friendly knock on the head.
"Kind of stinks, doesn't it, Hal?" he said cheerfully.
"What?" he asked.
"Well, to you, he's just your Dad, and you've had to listen to him your whole life. So, you think he's sort of corny, don't you?"
"Of course, he's my Dad, for crying out loud," answered Hal.
"Well, he's not my Dad, and I think he's kind of cool. You want to hear corny? Then you should have to listen to my Dad every time he opens his mouth," replied Topher giving his own father a wicked glance.
"Hey, son! Don't you go telling family secrets in public," called back Mr. Tucker.
Seeing that generational warfare was about to break out, Jim regained control of the discussion.
"Professor, why don't you say your piece so that we can knock off?"
"Well, kids," he paused to make sure that there souls be no more smart remarks. "On Sunday, you engaged in a little creative destruction of your own with the pastors' work crew assignments. They didn't complain and from what I can see, everything seems to have worked out just fine."
"Hear! Hear!" called out Mr. Tucker. "Not my plan, as they say, but God's plan."
Topher groaned and muttered to Hal, "See what I mean?"
"When do you want them back here?" asked Mr. Tucker, ignoring his son. "The sooner the better in my book."
"Now I want to see all of you here bright and early tomorrow at 8:30 sharp. It'll be pushups for all you laggards."
"What if my Dad makes me late?" asked Butch, looking over at his father, who rolled his eyes.
"Then he'll do pushups too," replied Jim with a twinkle in his eye. "Our worksite coaches are gonna be here at nine to help me teach you all what you gotta know to do a professional paint, carpentry, and roofing job. I want everything and everyone ready to go before they get here."
"Yes, sir!" shouted Tim Lenihan, standing at attention.
"At ease, you little rascal," said Jim with a smile. "I'll see you all tomorrow."
As the kids piled into the car, Phoebe turned to Hal and thoughtfully said, "Teardown."
"That's what the man said," answered Hal.
She looked ambivalent. Hal was annoyed because they were out in public and he wanted to take her in his arms and hold her close, even though he knew that that was the kind of behavior that Phil was trying to discourage. He knew that whenever she seemed vulnerable he was becoming, perhaps, too overprotective. Yet he realized that she was thinking of their most recent session. It was one of those times that he wished that his intuitive powers were as strong as hers.
She turned her face away so that he couldn't see her smile. She was indeed thinking of creative destruction and realizing for herself that she had overreacted in Dr. Meyer's office. She still wasn't going to let them drug her, but she would try to be more patient with some of their less than skilled methods of helping her. Drugs and alcohol were really just anesthetics. She knew that at some point, you have to work through the pain in order to move on.
Well, she would try to return with a better attitude tomorrow. For now, however, she would keep Hal in the dark about that, she thought smugly. She knew that he was very concerned at this point, and she didn't want to give him any false hopes.
When they got into the house, he pulled her into the study for a private moment. She sighed as he held her close in his arms. She knew, as well as he, that this was being overprotective, but in such times of weariness she just wanted to feel safe. Everyone in her family had recognized how much she needed him. If they, who knew her better than Dr. Meyers would ever be able to, could accept this, then he might just have to accept it too.
"Don't worry," he whispered. "I will always keep you safe, no matter how much creative destruction you have to go through."
She looked up at him puzzled. "What do you think needs to be destroyed?"
"Your fears and insecurities that are keeping us apart," he said honestly. "When Phil talked to us today about the need for us to have a relationship based on mutual strength rather than need, I thought of the children that we will have together. Motherhood is very different from being a nanny. Deep down I think that you know that. The emotional, if not the physical strength, that you will need for childbearing alone are much greater than you realize."
"Oh," she said in a small voice, and held him tighter. Maybe she didn't know as much as she thought she did. Maybe, there were a couple of things that needed to be destroyed. She looked up at him anxiously and felt his hand smoothing back her hair. He kissed her tenderly and looked deeply into her blue eyes that she knew he had always liked best.
"I want to marry you," he said. "But until you are strong enough to be both a wife and mother, I am going to hold off. I have the strongest feeling that the latter will follow very shortly on the heels of the former, no matter when we finally tie the knot. You may not like it now, but you'll really enjoy carrying our child a lot more if you aren't worried and sad all the time."
Then he got a naughty look in his eye. He whispered in her ear,
"You know that there's a little bit of creative activity that I am looking forward to engaging in with you, someday. I want you to be able to enjoy that to the fullest too. There are also some VERY pleasurable creative experiences that I have in mind for you!"
He felt her shiver and was pleased. Hal had to admit that one of his own secret, unspoken fears was that she might begin to lose her passionate desire for him to her depression. He felt a certain pleasure in knowing that he still had the power to arouse her, even if he still couldn't give her the peace of mind she needed.
Phoebe suddenly felt shy. She buried her face in his shoulder so that he couldn't see the look on her own face, and was VERY glad that he couldn't read her mind.
The End
The next story, "Reconstruction," will be coming out in a bit. The project moves into its next phase as the house, and all involved, begin to show the some results of their labors. Her friends help Nanny take steps towards the future