Author's Note: A very brief drabble about the Doctor getting kicked out of the TARDIS by the TARDIS herself. I don't own Doctor Who, but I do love writing it and I do love getting feedback on that writing. Enjoy!
The Doctor found himself unceremoniously propelled out into the barren landscape and windmilled his arms frantically to keep his balance. Behind him, the doors slammed shut with a bang.
"I said I was sorry!" he shouted back at the blue police box, which let out a pneumatic hissing that sounded surprisingly like an exasperated sigh. The doors didn't open. In fact, they started to vanish.
Without a sound, the TARDIS dematerialized.
"But you—wait—you didn't—you didn't make the noise," he muttered forlornly. He hadn't quite wrapped his head around the fact that he was alone on an unknown planet, with only a sonic screwdriver for company, until the TARDIS decided he had learned his lesson.
He might just be there for a very long time.
It was only after the first day that he became bored enough to begin trying to sonic his surroundings. It was at that point he discovered two very important things about his current planet.
One, it was absolutely barren.
Two, it was completely made of wood.
"WOOD!" he shouted in frustration at the night sky, as if his TARDIS could hear him if he yelled loud enough. (She probably could.) "Of all the planets in all the universes, you had to drop me off on a planet made of WOOD! I don't do wood! The sonic doesn't do wood! It's not like I can eat it or anything, either!"
He was met by silence.
He crossed his arms over his chest in exasperation. "I did say I was sorry," he grumbled.
After three days, he walked over the crest of a hill and there she was. Sitting there in the shade with one door slightly cracked, waiting for him. Smiling as his hands came into contact with her gently humming surface, he pushed open the doors and walked inside.
She was waiting for him by the console, her arms crossed and a disapproving scowl on her face.
"I am sorry, though," he proffered weakly. She only sighed and looked at him, gently shaking her head of messy brown hair.
"You should know better," she scolded gently. "I thought I'd taught you better than that a long time ago."
"You did, you did!" he agreed hastily, nodding his head vigorously. "I...just forgot. And I'm quite sorry." Looking at her sheepishly out of the corner of his eye, he decided to try something. In lyrical high Gallifreyan, he added, "I swear on my hearts I will not forget again."
A smile crept its way across her face. She stepped forward and, grasping the lapels of his jacket, raised herself up on her tiptoes to press a fond kiss to his forehead. Settling back down, she cupped his face with one hand as she raised a single expressive eyebrow. "Then I shall hold you to that promise," she replied in the same tongue, before briskly grabbing his hand and pulling him over to the console. "So," she asked with the smallest flash of a golden sparkle in her eyes, "Where to?"
"Please, nowhere with trees," begged the Doctor. "I don't think I can look at wood again for a year."
The sound of her delighted laughter mixed with the whirring and grinding of the TARDIS as it slowly faded from sight.