Remus sat in the common room, reading, hoping to forget his fears of the full moon tomorrow when the portrait hole opened.
"MOONY!" screamed a very happy James
Remus sighed then looked up as James made his way through a sea of giggling first year girls.
"So glad to see you!" he exclaimed, smiling down at him.
"What do you want James." Remus sighed "it must be extremely important if you're being somewhat polite?"
James looked taken aback.
"I don't want anything from you Moony I was just trying to have a conversation"
Remus gave James the "I know you're lying so stop pretending" look, which in James's opinion he was extremely good at. James tried hard to keep looking insulted but eventually gave in….
"Fine I need you to help me with my homework"
"Don't you mean do your homework while you go flirt with Lily" Remus smiled at these words.
"You know me so well!" he said, grinning.
James looked over at Lily, who was talking with a large group of girls. He felt sorry for James, who had made many failed attempts at getting her to go out with him.
"Fine but you're not getting full marks" he threatened, taking the parchment from James's hand and grabbing his quill.
"Thanks Moony I don't know what I'd do without you!" Messing up Remus's hair.
"Fail, most likely." He joked, fixing his hair and beginning to write.
James left Remus writing to go over and talk to Lily. When he was finished he had another try at his reading. Moments after he had picked up his book, Sirius had rushed in and sat next to him waiting for him to put it down. Remus lowered the book to see the handsome black haired boy smiling at him, from the comfy arm chair beside him.
"Hi Moony want to come on a walk with me, I'm bored" he pleaded.
Remus almost melted under the gaze of the beautiful grey eyes. Something about Sirius made it impossible to say no to.
"Emm ok, but why haven't you asked James?" Remus asked, nervously.
"Look at him he is completely intent on talking to Lily! It's like he's in a trance!" Sirius moaned, looking over at his best friend.
Remus, laughed, then they made their way out of the portrait hole. The conversation for most of the way was about quidditch. Even though Remus wasn't really a quidditch fan he hung onto Sirius' every word. They walked down to the lake which glittered in the early afternoon sun. They sat under a beech tree, a spot in which they always went to on nice days. Sirius stretched out yawning.
"So see any girls you like?" Sirius questioned pointing over at a group of girls from their year, splashing and screaming in the shallows of the lake.
"No, not really do you?" Remus answered blushing.
"Nah, they're not really my type" Sirius said sounding casually bored.
"Is there anyone you like?" Remus asked trying to steer the conversation towards Padfoot.
"Well…" Sirius mussed.
"Well what?" Remus queried, intrigued.
"Well I guess I like someone, but it's never gonna happen." Sirius replied, frowning.
"I'm sorry, but who can't the incredibly handsome Sirius Black have? Half the girls in this school would give an arm or a leg for a date with you!" Remus teased, slightly surprised.
"I-it's kind of complicated you know, it's kind of weird and awkward." Sirius tried to explain.
"What's awkward about it?" Remus questioned, really interested now
Sirius sighed and for a long time didn't answer. He knew he could trust Remus, but it was something he'd been hiding for a while.
"It isn't a girl I like." He whispered, so quietly Remus almost didn't catch it.
Remus looked shocked. He never thought someone like Sirius to be, to be gay. For a while there was silence between them, as Remus had no idea what to say to that. But deep down there was a surge of happiness but he couldn't quite tell why. Sirius couldn't bear the silence any longer.
"There's more." He muttered staring at the ground.
Remus looked at Padfoot. He couldn't imagine how more awkward this can get. Sirius lifted his head slightly no doubt he had decided he was definitely going to say it.
"Moony, it's you I like." He looked up at Remus' shocked face as he said it.
Now Remus thought he'd never be able to talk again. He knew he wanted to say he liked him back. He knew he wanted to hug Sirius and never let him go.
But he couldn't.
He tried to talk but he was completely tongue tied. He could only watch hopelessly at Sirius, who was waiting for an answer.
"It's ok Remus, you don't have to say anything. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything." Sirius mumbled, standing up and beginning to walk away.
Remus mentally screamed at himself. He tried to tell Sirius to wait, to tell him to come back, to tell him he loved him too.
"Go after him don't you realise this is all you've ever wanted since second year." He told himself.
But still he could do nothing but watch Sirius walk away, his head hanging.
"Why does everything I want to say always take so much effort?" Remus thought, grumpily as he got up and began to make his way slowly up to bed.
