Well, here's another story that I was going to create into a one-story, but realized it couldn't be done, with the events I have in mind for the story to happen, it would be impossible. Anywayz, about this story. It could have the same plot that many other stories use (Asuka and Shinji depart ways...yada yada yada) but give this a shot. I wrote this because I've refallen in love with EVA, and I want to PROVE that the ASUKA/SHINJI pairing is possible over time, not right away like many stories show. That's the point I try and make with every story is that it's not possible for Asuka and Shinji to happen unless time helped them to learn about each and realize one thing; they're one in the same.

Anyways, please Review this too! I wanna know what you think because it's important to me! So enough of my rambling and enjoy!

-theWanderingANBU

When it was all over, he blacked out, the EVA shut down and fell to the Earth, causing a seismic reaction that made the world seem to shake. The world was in complete silence, nothing could be heard. It seemed as if a remote had turned it mute while the fallen hero had became the beast that shouted "I" to the heart of the world. He had finally done it, he had finally stood up and became the young man he always wanted to be. And when he woke up a few days later, things started to change.

He never knew what had happened, nor wanted to remember it. Third Impact, Instrumentality, death, everything that he dreaded in life was what he was trying to run away from. Sure, this time he made the right choice and decided to not kill everyone, even if his pain would only magnify and continue to manifest. This time, he made the right choice even though it meant people were near death, and that the war could possibly continue between mankind and the Angels. Even if could mean that he finally could let go of EVA, and pilot no more, than it was good. This time to him, he hadn't ran away, he hadn't let his fear get the best of him.

However, after the end of it all, the peace making, and SEELE had been destroyed, he ran away. He ran away from it all, from the city he saved and that had hailed him as a hero, from his friends who were still alive and thanking the Gods that they were still alive, and most of all, he ran away from her when she was finally fragile, ready to open up.

But once again, he ran away…

Rebirth 1: Destruction; and the Slow Rebirth

Four years ago was the day she would never forget, nor let it slip from her grasp. It was the day that many were left in bewilderment like her, when he took his bag and walked away. She ran to try and catch up to him, she tried to make sure he didn't leave. Hell, the memories was still as fresh as an open wound, and the mere recollection of it made tears stream from her eyes. It was as if it were only yesterday…

Four Years Ago –

"Where are you going?" said Asuka, huffing and running as fast as her legs could carry her. She could see him just walking with a drooped head and a bag in one hand.

"I'm going Asuka, I'm going to leave her, and leave the place I curse under my breath." Shinji snapped without turning around, still walking towards his destination; the train station. He had to leave this place that he couldn't stay in, for fear of the love and admiration he was receiving would only turn to rejection later.

"Why would you curse this place? What causes you to be that way? Are you being the spineless wimp again? Damn it Shinji, you acting like an idiot!" snapped Asuka while Shinji stopped in his tracks, and a silence had followed them and covered them, for no words could be expressed now.

"Shinji," began Asuka after the long silence, "you can't leave, not now. Not after saving us all, not after stopping SEELE from Third Impact, they love you Shinji, they love you for doing that. The world thanks you for doing that, you disobeyed what the future held for you. You shaped you DESTINY, and most of all, you didn't run away."

"Shinji," once again began Asuka, walking towards the trembling Shinji, wrapping her arms around him, "you can't leave because you were meant to be here, you can't leave because…," her pride kicked in and somehow she couldn't say it.

"Because what Asuka? Because no one would cook for you? You'd have no one to tease? Hit? What?" said Shinji with a tint of anger in his voice, "Asuka forget it, I can't stay here, and I'm tired of it. Without EVA, I have no purpose here I'm sorry." And with that, he took his arms off of him. She couldn't say anything at all, she couldn't say anything to him, and now she was falling back into that barricade around her heart.

"How can you leave and run away?! How can you be who you don't want to be, and become the coward you've never tried to change from. Why?" snapped Asuka while Shinji stopped once again in his tracks.

"I'm like that Asuka, I've always been like this. I never wanted to be here, never wanted to. But I couldn't let others get hurt. Now that this is settled, I have to leave and get outta here so I can get away from the pain." retorted Shinji, his face drooping low once again. How could he be so open to her this time and never earlier?

"Then why did you have to stay here in the first place? Why did you have to meet me and everyone else. You shouldn't have stayed here if that was the case!" snapped Asuka with a venom in her voice, one that Shinji was all but familiar too.

"Because I had EVA, I had to protect everyone, even if my life wasn't of value to them. I wanted my Father's acceptance! I wanted someone to love me!" snapped Shinji, yelling the last lines for the world to hear.

Asuka didn't know what to say, these words were slowly tearing her apart limb by limb, taking away the very pride she had and making her realize the slowing common bond between her and Shinji. Yearning for love, yearning for attention, yet pushing them away from them for fear of not getting hurt; in other terms as Misato put it "The Hedgehog's Dilemna". This was something she understood completely, like when her mother died and thought she was a doll. She yearned for love, like he did. Slowly, as if a veil were being lifted off between the two, she saw herself inside of him and that this feeling was what she had to push away. She was the great Asuka Langley Sorhyu for Christ's sake!

"Fine then, run away and leave us here! The Invincible Shinji Ikari is running away from the good he did? You want love yet you run away from it! Haven't you realized that there are people that do love you? What about Misato? Pen-pen? The stooges?" asked Asuka, continuing on but leaving herself out, hoping he wouldn't notice. Fortunately, he noticed and just answered back.

"They don't, I'm nothing to them. I almost killed Toji! I'm a burden to Misato, and to everyone else! How am I loved Asuka? No one loves me, I've never been given affection, I've never experienced it. They all said nice things to me because I pilot EVA!" snapped Shinji while Asuka couldn't help but continue.

"Is that what you really see yourself as in front of them? Is that what your reflection shows to them? You create your own perception of yourself to others! Don't lean on them to create your identity! You create your own identity! You are the idiot I've always thought you were." Snapped Asuka with her arms wrapped around her chest. She couldn't let herself go on with the suffering she was going through. But now, she was unleashing the pain on him and they both knew it.

"I'm sorry Asuka, but I have to go. You don't get it do you? I don't, people have already judged me, like you …" said Shinji, repicking up his bags and walking, leaving Asuka standing there with surprise and pain. While he walked away from her, he never noticed the pain she was going through, he never noticed the tears that were falling from her face, he never noticed the vulnerability she had allowed to be shown. Worst of all, he didn't notice the heart he had shattered and broken into pieces to where it could never recover, and he never noticed the truth and vindication from her voice.

Now it was too late, and this time Asuka did fail. But inside, she felt like her world had collapsed and that she had lost him for good. And for once, she felt the tears on her face were real. And from that day on she never truly felt the same.

-Present

"Life hasn't been the same without you around…" thought Asuka while standing there, looking out towards the city on the porch of her home. She still lived with Misato since she was just a freshman in college. She figured that there was no point to moving out yet, because she wanted to save her money to get a better home than this. Sure, NERV paid her millions and all, but she wanted to earn it on her own and prove that she could get it herself. Plus, her and Misato had gotten closer ever since that night, because it was Misato who had helped comfort her. Asuka never thought that Misato could honestly help but in the end she did.

"Asuka! What are you doing over there? I need your help setting up for the party!" trailed Misato's voice, causing Asuka to wake up from her daydream. She sighed and began to walk back towards the kitchen.

Ever since Shinji had left, the place the food hadn't been good, not even close to good. Really, both her and Misato couldn't cook anything well. Everything else, from the cleaning to laundry was up to par, but the cooking was a catastrophe. Everyday the kitchen was like a war, where food would fly everywhere and the food would be the secret weapon. However, the secret weapon would never taste that well, but food was food in this case.

"Asuka, can you put up some more decorations please? WE need to make this place look great for the party!" said Misato while checking on the food in the oven, making sure it wasn't burnt or anything. Once again, Asuka walked away from the kitchen, going to the closet where the decorations were. There, she found the many decorations needed and began to put them around the house, showing festivity and fun.

"Wait, so why are we doing this again?" asked Asuka with a tone of aggravation in her voice, still putting up the decoration. Mistao just gave a quick sigh and smiled, and went out of the kitchen to help Asuka with the decorations.

"Well, you're turning eighteen now right? I want you to have a great party tonight! Is there a problem with that?" questions Misato with a light tone behind it.

"Well, what if I don't want to celebrate it like this!?" snapped Asuka with the fierceness she always carried. A death glare ensued the remark, causing Misato to flinch.

"C'mon Asuka, it's not every year that you turn eighteen, and besides, you've officially become an adult. Technically I have no jurisdiction on you. Isn't that good enough to celebrate?" snapped back Misato while Asuka kept her glare on.

"Like that is really the best thing to celebrate?!" snapped Asuka again, not realizing the trap she set for herself.

"Oh, is that so? You don't want to have jurisdiction? I could make it to where you won't have freedom until you're twenty-one…" continued on Misato while Asuka realized the mistake, shaking her head violently and saying no, causing Misato to laugh it off.

"Whatever Asuka, just try to have a fun time tonight ok? Besides you'll have all of your friends over…well…mostly Toji's friends and Hikari and Rei…forget it. Let's just make this a forgettable night!" said Misato with a smile, getting Asuka to relax and let a smile on her face.

"Alright Misato, I'll try…" said Asuka in a defeated tone, finishing up the decorations for the party.

When the decorations were set, and the food done, Asuka double checked everything, from looking closely at the decorations to trying some of the food, and everything seemed like it was going to be perfect. The setting was perfect, the area was perfect, everything.

"This time, I think we finally got it Misato!" said Asuka with a bright smile, this time feeling legitimately happy. For now, it seemed everything was going to go well for the night. Even if her mind were still on Shinji, the fact that this seemed good for now made it fall deeper into her mind. Now, she could forget about him and what happened, forget about everything.

"Asuka, you should go and get ready now, the party'll start really soon, and you need to look your best for the party." Misato exclaimed while Asuka only turned to look at the woman with admiration.

"Thanks Misato, thanks for everything." said Asuka, allowing herself to let loose instead of the barricade she would wear. Usually, Asuka wouldn't say thank you for anything, but for some reason it seemed that she couldn't hold it in.

"Asuka, you're in for a real treat tonight…" thought Misato to herself taking a swig of a fresh Yebisu beer from the can.

Misato felt a sigh escape from her chest while she looked around to find the place empty again; empty like it had always truly been. Sure she had Asuka, but that's it really, and Pen-pen didn't come out much ever since Shinji came. In fact, the poor guy too seemed really depressed, except he couldn't wear a façade like Asuka.

"Poor guy…" thought Misato, taking another swig of her beer. She didn't know how to feel anymore. Kaji was gone and dead, NERV no longer existed, and Ritsuko was dead. Nothing, absolutely nothing remained for Misato to do. Plus, she was in her thirties now, and settling down seemed like a good idea, but she couldn't. Guys were only hitting on her for her looks, and only lusted after her. No one came even close to the way Kaji was like to her, not even close to how Shinji was to her.

"Shinji, I wonder how you're doing…" thought Misato while sitting there, until something came to mind. She had to do it, because this would be the only way…slowly she got up and went to initiate the ultimate plan…

Shower

"This water, it's as if it were washing away the pain inside…the pain that I don't know why I can't let go of…" thought Asuka to herself, feeling the water cleanse her. It was like she had this load of pain on her, and it was still too great for the water to break down. Still, it slowly washed it away during the time where she was alone.

Make that, she had always been alone…

"I pushed him away, I made him leave. It wasn't everyone else, he just didn't know how to tell me. I could tell by the way he couldn't look at me, let alone hold me in his arms. Sure, he wouldn't do that, but it was a different Shinji than I was used to. And yet…still he left me here." Thought Asuka to herself, slowly feeling the pain gain more hold of her.

"It took me awhile after he left to realize how much I loved him." She continued on, this time speaking the words, "I should've known that I loved him, but it was like I couldn't register it. Not him, not the coward, spineless wimp that saved us all from imminent doom. He wasn't my type, or was he?"

Slowly she started feeling the revelations and epiphany of four years ago regrab her and tell her she made the mistake…

"He was like me, when I saw me in him, I should've realized it. But I was too afraid. Too afraid to get near him!" began Asuka while tears formed in her eyes, "I didn't want to be hurt again, not by anyone, and thus I let no one get near me, and yet he did! He broke through the barriers I set somehow…and yet he left me. Why didn't you hold me Shinji, why didn't you kiss me? Didn't you get it? I couldn't allow you near me, but I wanted you like you wanted me! And now look at me!" snapped Asuka, looking at her hands and trembling, "I feel alone again! I feel so stupid! Damn it Shinji…"

She realized all of this and smiled, realizing how pathetic she was. Today it was a time to have fun, and she wasn't going allow this to bug her. So she got out of the shower and wrapped a red towel around her.

When she stepped to the door way, she called for Misato to take her turn, even she was allowed to have her private time.

Misato

"Misato! You can take your shower now!" yelled Asuka from the bathroom, catching a busy Misato offguard, who tensed up at the sound.

"I'll be there in a second!" said Misato, coming out of the kitchen and walking towards her bedroom, grabbing some clothes to change into.

After the showers and after getting ready, the party began to start with Hikari and Touji coming together, like they had always for the past year and a half. They had been getting close after Asuka finally hooked them up, after Hikari built up the courage since Touji was nearly oblivious to everything. Still, they hooked up and have been happier ever since, which caused Asuka to smile partly. She was happy for her friends, happy for everything, but at the same time she hated it. Hated watching her friends get happier and start to becoming couples and in love. It caused her to wonder what it would be like to be with Shinji like that, to have someone who did love her and showed kindness to her without being asked, and with Shinji there it seemed like she felt healed, complete, but most of all, she felt one with Shinji.

"Hey Hikari and stooge number 1" said Asuka with a cheered up voice, putting on her patented fake smile. Hikari and Touji looked at her and smiled with a real smile, thinking she was happy.

"Hey Asuka, happy birthday and thanks for letting us come over!" said Hikari with a bright smile, causing Asuka to really smile this time. Hikari and Asuka had been friends ever since Asuka came to the school, and since then they've had a bond no one else could form with her. In fact, they were sometimes inseparable from each other, unless Touji wanted to take Hikari on a date.

"Yeah thanks for inviting us!" said Touji with a smile, really happy to be there. Really, ever since Shinji left, and everyone tried to comfort her, Asuka had become more friendly towards everyone, though she carried the same spirit. Still, he could tell Asuka had changed one way or another, and it had done her good. As for Touji, Asuka started to like him and realized he wasn't so bad after all, though he still was a pervert here and there. That didn't stop them from becoming good friends though.

"Hey, who's going to say hello to me?" snapped another familiar voice that came from the outside. Asuka knew who it was right away, and prepared to tease this person like normal.

"Who cares about another stooge coming? Besides, you're probably going to try and video tape something again. That's always like you isn't it Kensuke?" said Asuka with a teasing voice, while he reached the door, a smile on his face.

"Yeah, yeah, but you can't say I'm going to record anything, I left my camera at home. Besides, it's your birthday, I can't have the Red-Haired demon mad at me! Ow!" said Kensuke teasing at first, only getting punched in the arm by Asuka.

"You still call me that, eh Kensuke?" said Asuka with a warmed up voice. Kensuke only laughed a little.

"At least it doesn't hurt that bad anymore…" said Kensuke with a sigh, causing Asuka to chuckle.

Kensuke and Asuka were definitely on better terms now, because at first they really couldn't get along. After a long while, it took Kensuke to finally act "mature" in her terms to get her to warm up; they had fun together while going to go see a movie with Touji and Hikari. That's when Asuka and Kensuke started getting friendly with each other, to the point where they could even laugh at stuff together.

"Well, thanks for coming anyway Kensuke…" said Asuka while Kensuke walked in, taking looking around at the decorations and smiling.

"Oh and Asuka! Where do we put the gifts?" asked Hikari while still being held by Touji, which Asuka pointed at the table.

"Hey where's Misato by the way?" asked Touji with curiosity which earned him a glare from Hikari.

"Still have those hentai thoughts about her eh Touji?" asked Asuka trying to get Touji embarrassed, and immediately she saw him turn shades of red you'd never seen.

"You still think that I do? I've got someone even better right now, right in my arms." Said Touji, kissing Hikari on the forehead which caused her to blush.

"Told you he had a sensitive side…" said Hikari with a "i-told-you-so" tone, causing Asuka to give a defeated "hmph".

When all the guests had finished arriving, meaning Kensuke, the party had begun. They started out just talking and hanging out, getting Asuka to feel happy and realize that life was meant celebrating again. Sure, she had been happy from time to time, but it wasn't the same, and yet somehow today was causing her to realize so many things, like the fact that you need to have fun and seize the day, not to let anything keep you from having fun.

"Alright now let's have some cake!" said Misato with a cheer, bringing out the cake onto the front room table, everyone sat there and watched while Asuka blew out the cakes, smiling with every second passing.

"This was something that you needed, wasn't it Asuka?" thought Misato to herself, drinking a beer while watching them interact. She hadn't seen Asuka as happy as now, and hopefully it was going to be a night she would never forget.

However, she didn't prepare for the next event that would change her life once again.

RING! Went the doorbell, something Asuka was shocked at. Who would come to her at this time of night? Or at this festivity? Or for even Misato?

"I'll get it Misato!" said Asuka, running up to the door with a smile, ready to say yell or smile, depending on the person. However, she was caught completely off guard when she opened the door, and only her eyes could open wide to the shock.

"May I come in? I'm sorry I'm late…"