Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or the characters portrayed within South Park. Also I make no money off of this endeavor, it is more for me to get thoughts out of my head so that I can get things done. This is a drabble-like story, I am not really going for a major plot here. There will be a plot but will not be very developed. I would appreciate constructive criticism on my writing style, technique, story progression, etc.
Almost all the kids still rode the bus although most of us were juniors in high school. I walked up to the bus stop in my orange sweater and dark brown cargo pants. My head heart like a bitch but that was to be expected considering where I had been the last few days. Kyle and Stan were working on some project that they needed done today and Cartman was listening to his iPod. Cartman glanced my way as I walked up beside him but he barely acknowledged me. I could hear the music wafting through the headphones, it sounded like from the muffled lyrics I could make out that Cartman was not in a good mood. 'Well I won't be fucking with him' I thought. I moved to Cartman's other side and noticed that Kyle didn't seem to really be paying attention to the project that he and Stan were working on.
"What's up dudes, did I miss anything?" I ask nonchalantly.
"Nah, man, Garrison switching from Miss to Mister all the fucking time and Kyle here got asked out by Bebe Stevens," Stan answered.
"Wow dude, Bebe asked you out? You're going out with her right Kyle?" I ask impressed.
"I don't know Kenny, she's not really my type," Kyle said shyly but I could tell that he wasn't really looking at me. We were silent for the rest of the wait and got on the bus without speaking a word. Something about Cartman's quietness irked me so I sat next to him on the bus. He gave me a glare that could kill trying to relay that he wanted to be alone but I ignored it. Behind us was Stan sitting with Wendy his girlfriend of three years, and next to us was Kyle.
"What's wrong fat-ass?" I asked keeping up the normal insult although since Cartman hit puberty and shot up to a towering 6 foot 4 inches he was no longer fat, just broad, and slightly built. He huffed and glanced over to me. I followed his gaze that seemed to be slightly past me and turned to see a very uncomfortable Kyle being harassed by a very persistent Bebe. The gears in my head started turning and I thought back to the few days before my recent 'death'. They both had been acting strange, Cartman not nearly as rude to Kyle, and Kyle seeming shyer around Cartman. Not so rude Cartman + Shy Kyle = Holy shit! I swing my head back to Cartman so quick I'm surprised I didn't break my neck and his look tells me all. "Go get her off your man," I say quietly and Cartman's expression makes me nearly laugh my head off.
As we all sit in homeroom I continue to watch Cartman listen to his 'angry' music and Kyle try to get Bebe to leave him alone. 'Maybe I am wrong' I thought slowly as Cartman continued to do nothing. Mr. /Ms. Garrison walked into the class and sat down in the chair behind the desk. He looked around the room at all of us before starting to speak, "Okay class, I know I said to have your project done but today is emotional awareness day, so we're not allowed to teach." I expected Cartman to say something about this but it was actually Stan that said something.
"Uh, what the fuck is emotional awareness day?"
"It's a new bullshit day that your school institution started after the increase in teenage suicide. Because they're worried that you will all turn into angst-ridden little fuck-heads and kill yourself we must have a day once a month where you stay in your homeroom and talk about your bullshit feelings."
"With you?" Stan asked incredulously.
"Hey I don't want to hear about your fucking problems but it's part of my job description that I do whatever the administration says, so who should we start with?"
"Cartman!" I yell out from my desk as a candidate.
"Okay, Eric Cartman will you please come forward?" Cartman didn't budge, probably because he wasn't paying attention to what was occurring around him. When he continued to stay seated Butters pulled one of his earplugs out and told him what was happening.
"Hell fucking no!" Cartman yelled after figuring out what was required of him.
"Eric let me just do my job and you don't want me giving you another detention now do you? You have, what, four more before your suspended from the school and that's not even including that you get another fight and you get expelled?" Mr. /Ms. Garrison said. Cartman was red with fury but recognizing he only had to put up with this crap for another two years he stood to walk up to the front of the class. We were told that we could ask any question and the candidate had to answer it as part of emotional awareness day.
"Why do you get into so many fights?" Wendy started off asking.
"Because lots of people piss me off, so I fight them."
"Why do you always listen to your iPod?" Butters asked next.
"Listening to music relaxes me."
"Are you gay?" I blurted out.
"What? Why the fuck would you ask me that!" Oh, shit he was going to hurt me now, but I had to know. Mr./ Ms. Garrison reminded him that he had to answer any question.
"Yes I am, what of it."
"Do you have a boyfriend?" Bebe asked next, good now it wouldn't only be me.
"Sort of, I guess."
"How the hell do you sort of have a boyfriend Cartman?" Stan asked annoyed.
"It's complicated, how can you and Wendy say that you've been going out three years when you have been broken-up half that time?"
"Fuck off fat-ass!"
"Who is your sort of boyfriend Cartman?" I asked hoping that he having to answer my questions would confirm my suspicions. Instead, Cartman refused to answer and when Garrison tried to make him, he punched him sending him flying back. Garrison sent Cartman to the principal's office although we knew that he wouldn't be expelled, the principal was terrified of him. Kyle was up next and we endured a few questions about his strange behavior and then more about how he should date Bebe before I asked my questions.
"Eric Cartman is your boyfriend isn't he?" I asked as everyone around me gasped. Stan laughed like there was no tomorrow sure that I was joking and Wendy looked toward Kyle for an answer.
"Yes, Eric Cartman and I have been dating for a year."
"A year!" came the simultaneous exclaims of shock, "How, how could you hide that?"
"Really, they weren't but may I ask, what changed about a week ago that made it harder for him to hide your relationship and caused you to be so shy?"
"A week ago Eric gave me a promise ring."
No one really talked about what was discovered in homeroom that morning and apparently after lunch was another emotional awareness day activity. Lunch was tense as Cartman was still in the principal's office probably being threatened with expulsion if one more incident occurred. I think Cartman has been at the 'one more' incident point for the last year and a half. Sitting next to Kyle, I couldn't help but notice the not so subtle looks of anger coming from Bebe's group. "Hey Kyle, I wouldn't go anywhere alone for a while."
"Yeah I know Kenny, thanks for mentioning it though," Kyle said sullenly as he stared down at his tray of food. Stan had thought the promise ring statement had been a hoax or that the commitment had been what opened Kyle's eyes that they shouldn't be together. But Kyle just looked angry that Stan would suggest that Kyle would run at commitment and pulled a chain from under his shirt that had a ring dangling at the end of it. 'Well shit!' I thought as I looked at the promise ring indicating that the two were indeed serious about one another. I started thinking about how I didn't see it before now until I heard a commotion a few tables down: Bebe's table.
"I don't know what you did to him Fat-ass but I will show him that pussy is much better!" Bebe shouts loudly. Cartman doesn't look like he is going to respond as he continues to move forward, until Bebe says the one thing that no one without a death wish would say to Eric Cartman. "You will just end up fucking around on Kyle anyway, after all you grew up with that whore of a mom!" The entire lunch room went silent as they looked up to see Cartman's reaction. His absolute stillness did nothing to assuage peoples' fears. Hell, there were rumors floating that Cartman worked with Christophe 'Ze Mole' DeLorne as a mercenary. Actually, it was true but most people didn't know that. Out of the corner of my eye I see Christophe moving forward to most likely keep Cartman from mass homicide.
"Cartman, do not listen to this bitch. Just walk over to Kyle and forget about what she said," Christophe says gently. After all, Christophe knows that Cartman is much more dangerous than our wildest rumors. It appeared that Cartman was going to walk away from the insult until Bebe decided to force his hand. Bebe, being the stupid girl that she is, decided to point out that Kyle's mom would never allow such a relationship. She continued by telling everyone that she would tell his parents about it and break them up. Well, she essentially just put a target on her head, for we all knew that she was a dead girl walking. Christophe and Cartman came over to the table and sat down.