When The First Love Ends
A USUK Fanfiction
Rated T
Warnings: not really a happy ending
By Galgenhumor (FF) / cl41r3 (Tumblr)

Inspired by Miku Hatsune's song 'When The First Love Ends'

The city was illuminated and it was a winter night. The frosty wind made their skin cold and their breaths icy. The lights made the trees around look magically lightened up. There were people around the city, walking in their winter apparel. Couples, families, teenagers, the elderly and even people who were alone that night walked on the snowy pavement.

"It's beautiful out here tonight." said a slightly pale man in his coat and a scarf. He stood at around 175 centimetres tall, just a bit shorter than average. His hair was unruly and blonde, while his eyes were emerald green and topped with prominently thick eyebrows. His hands were in his pockets and he felt cold, despite the clothes he wore. His name was Arthur Kirkland.

"Yeah, it's nice, isn't it?" his companion smiled back. He stood just a few centimetres taller than the other, wearing a scarf and a sweater. He had honey blonde hair with a stubborn cowlick and sapphire eyes with framed glasses on them. He seemed to be able to withstand the cold better than the other. He was named Alfred F. Jones.

The cold air rushed past them, lightly startling Arthur. He breathed into his palms, letting even the tiniest of warmth on his hands. "I left my mittens..." he muttered to himself, feeling annoyed for forgetting such a thing in this weather.

Alfred blinked, hearing the other's mutter. He fished in his pocket for what hopefully was another set of mittens. "Here." he smiled at Arthur, handing him the wooly mittens. Arthur turned, looking a bit surprised as he did not expect for Alfred to hear.

"Um, thank you." he hesitantly accepted it with a shy smile. He pulled them, letting the warmness engulf his freezing hands.

They walked along towards the station, both keeping quiet and their thoughts to themselves. Each step made it painful, the feeling which they thought was unrequited was hurting them more. A seemingly happy couple passed them, "Hm, it's the first snow of the season..." one of them said.

"Ah, si, so it is, mi amor." the other one smiled warmly as he put an arm around the other. Arthur watched them quietly, before turning a blind eye. He saw so many happy couples today. He secretly wondered if he could share a moment like that with the one he loved. Alfred wondered what Arthur thought of that. He saw it as well.

They both walked over to the ticket booth and bought tickets for the train. Arthur's train would come first before Alfred's, since they were not going to the same destination. They sat themselves down on the waiting area, not saying a word to one another.

"A—" Alfred suddenly said moments later, but he cut himself off before he had said a word.

"Hm?" Arthur looked up, wondering what it was. Alfred shook his head and turned away again.

They both wanted to say something, but their hearts and minds were filled with cowardice. It was something that didn't come so easily. It made them unable to speak. Would it be easier to let go and let it become a memory, rather than let it be and let the 'what ifs' haunt them?

"Arthur?" he spoke up again, his voice sounded nervous and awkward. He was unsure of what to do.

"Yes?" Arthur turned his head again, looking at him curiously. There was something he wanted to do, to say, but it was so hard for him to make it happen. The thought turned him into jelly.

Are you fine with just this?said a tiny voice in Alfred's head.

Alfred leaned down, pressing his lips onto the other's. The initial shock eventually left him, replaced with a bittersweet happiness. The first kiss tasted like tears. The first kiss happened at the end. Tears rolled down Arthur's closed eyes, for he had read his mind so perfectly.

The first kiss tasted like tears; it was like the love in dramas.

They wanted a relationship, a hand to fill the empty void in theirs, but the cowardice rendered them unable to make a move. Arthur's hands unconsciously went to the back of Alfred's neck, making their kiss last just a few seconds more. /Make it last/, that was what they both thought. Alfred was surprised that he too, was silently crying. They both pulled back, Alfred smiling wryly as he wiped the tears on his face away with the back of his hand.

"Thank you." Arthur whispered softly, smiling bitterly at him. He looked down at him, surprised. What did that mean?

Arthur was trembling. It was cold and he was nervous. The train will be here anytime soon, ready to separate them from this moment, ready to make it a fleeting memory. Then again, this is what they call a goodbye, right?

The train stopped and the doors opened, the people inside left through the doors, emptying the train.

"I have to go now..." he stood up and said in a quiet voice. If only he had known that Alfred felt the same way, this might not have happened. If only he knew it wasn't unrequited...

"Wait..." he stood up suddenly as well, grasping Arthur's hand tightly in his. He desperately didn't want him to leave.

"Please let my hand go..." he frowned, tears welling up in his eyes again; the words his mouth uttered contradicted what his heart truly wanted.

"I love you." Alfred said. Even then, he knew that confession would not stop time; stop him from leaving him and this moment behind.

He let his hand go, both of them holding back tears. They've wanted to tell each other that, to let their feelings be known, but now they've done that, they have to separate once again.

It's no use. It won't stop time.

"I'll see you..." he smiled a bit before leaving him hurriedly and walking towards the train. He blended into the crowd until Alfred didn't see him anymore. He was leaving for another city and won't come back. It was a shame; they could have done more than that.

He won't see him for a long time, if not ever. He wanted to run, to chase after him and pull him back towards him, and ask him to stay. He'd beg and plead if he had to. Why did they have to let their feelings be known at the end?

His only regret now was that he wasn't able to embrace him for the last time. "I could have changed everything from there..." The thought tormented him. His only wish now was to have been able to embrace him, Arthur's arms around his neck as they said thank you and goodbye.

Instead of crying, he thought of it as a snowflake; it momentarily fell to the ground, melting for a bit before it disappeared completely.

It was a painful memory to hold onto. It was just a memory now. He wanted to make it last, wanted to know if Arthur felt the same way too. If the train had not arrived so soon, would he have said that he loved him too?

By this time, next year, what kind of them would exist?

The first kiss happened at the end, and as if it was the right moment, the departure bell rang.

Author's Notes:What did I just write...? Even I cannot fully understand what I just wrote. I really love that song, okay? I almost cried while I wrote this... Still not sure what to label this as... I think this falls under 'Angst', so... Yeah. I hope you liked this one-shot/drabble. It was shorter than my usual fanfics, I think...

I based the story from the translations I got from RinHeart in Blogspot who also found a male version (translated by Managarmr in Wordpress) made to reply to the female version.

The original version (Hatsune Miku's) was Arthur's part and the male version was Alfred's part. I can link you to the translations, just PM me here in FF.

See you guys in the next fanfic/one-shot/drabble/whatever! I'm planning to make a GerIta one (Fem!Italy x Germany, though)...