The Art of War: Claude Vs. Owls
Finally, my second story! I can say that this one is longer, with more humor about Claude this time. To Claude lovers: Don't worry, your beloved Claude will not die in this story.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji, Toboso Yana does.
Chapter 1: A New Owl in the Neighborhoot
Claude was relaxing under a shady tree during a hot summer day in the garden outside Trancy mansion while watching over and being in charge of the other Trancy servants doing their daily chores. The weather was quite extreme, so to say. The other servants felt slightly jealous at Claude because he was favored by their master, Alois Trancy, and he gets to take a rest under a shady tree, while the others must resume with their usual chores under the glaring hot summer sun: Cutting grasses, trimming the trees and bushes to perfection, watering the plants, and lastly, take care of the spiders growing around the garden as that was Claude's personal order and they were afraid Claude would yell at them if they were to disobey his order.
Hoot, hoot!
Suddenly, Claude heard a familiar sound. "...Now this sound seemed familiar, where have I heard it before...?" Claude thought to himself while the other servants continued on with their chores.
Hoot, hoot!
Claude jumped up and exclaimed, "That's it! I remember now! These were the sounds made from those dreaded birds, owls!" Right at this moment, a certain owl suddenly swarmed down on a spider and ate it right in front of Claude. Claude stood dumbfounded at the poor spider, being eaten and swallowed by that nasty owl.
"Drat! The world would be a better place if these creatures never existed!" Claude yelled at the owl who is flying away after swallowing it's tasty breakfast. "Take this for swallowing the spiders!" Claude then took out a few golden knives from his coat and threw them at the owl, but unfortunately, he misses his target. "Darn! I swore my throwing skills have greatly decreased ever since the last time I fought with Mr. Michaelis!" Claude then sat back down, still angry at the owl.
Claude tries the classic skill, throwing an anvil at the owl. (This won't end well.)
Claude bought a 100k ton anvil from an Lcme company. (Don't ask me what kind of company that is, I am not quite sure of it myself as well, but I read the wikipedia about it earlier, so I decided to change Acme into Lcme, since Acme stands for "American Company which Makes Anything", and Lcme is the London version of that company.) He then devised a plan on tricking the owl into his trap, while he throws the anvil at the owl while the owl is still being tricked by his plan. But how? How is it possible to trick an owl to stay at an area, long enough for you to actually throw a heavy anvil at it? "Quite easy, actually. I would do anything for revenge on behalf of my dead spider. You see, do you recall watching the classic cartoons when a person devices a clever plan to trick their target in that position to stay long enough for their plan to work? The person would cleverly choose the item to use as the target's bait, in this case, I would use a fake spider novelty toy!" Claude took out a novelty spider and places it at the ground under a cliff, while Claude quickly jumps up to the cliff, placed the anvil near the edge of the cliff, and waits patiently for the owl to fall for it. (Oh boy.)
Hours have passed, and Claude still hasn't spotted a single owl, Claude got impatient, then he jumped down to the ground and check whether his novelty spider is still there, or not. Fortunately, it's still there, Claude sighed in relief, but suddenly, an owl flew to the top of the cliff, curious of the anvil, it tried poking at it with it's beak. With just a light push, the anvil began falling down directly towards Claude, much to Claude's dismay when he looked up. "Ah, crap." Is the last word Claude spoke until the anvil crushed on him. "Bam!" Everything went black for Claude, for just a short while, anyway.
That is all for today's chapter, but it's not over yet!
Claude still hasn't gotten his revenge on the owl who ate his spider friend, what will happen in Chapter 2?
What new tricks or schemes Claude had up in his sleeves?
Will Claude give up and leave the poor owls alone?
Will the poor Trancy servants ever get a break?
Stay tuned, to Chapter 2!
This is Kaede, signing off.
Reviews or ideas for chapter 2 are welcome!