Disclaimer: Except for OCs, the characters here and the world they inhabit are the creation and property of JK Rowling and her assigns. The OC in this chapter is the creation and property of FFN author Headless Huntsman, with whose knowledge and permission I have written this story.

Dumbledore was dead. His tomb shone in the fading afternoon sunlight. The students were gone and the term was over, but they would be back. Hogwarts was bigger than any one professor or headmaster. It would continue. None of it made Albus less dead.

Every afternoon, Minerva walked the grounds of Hogwarts. Such walks had often helped her in the past, bringing her peace when the people she loved were killed. Seeing the world she was working so hard to protect kept her focused and helped put her back into fighting trim.

As she walked along the bank of the lake, it started to bubble. That squid, she thought to herself. Some things never change. She had to stop and watch, however, as something rose from the surface. It approached the shore, and then crouched by the side of the water. It turned and placed a human-like face close to the water. "It shall be as you wish, my lord."

Whatever it was stood up, and Minerva couldn't help staring. The creature was squid like. There were tentacles, anyway, but it was also decidedly human, and male, which she realized she knew because he was naked.

"Good gracious," she said, waving her wand and covering the-person-in a robe. A tentacle slithered out and adjusted the neck as the head shook a bit. When he seemed to be ready for conversation, she cleared her throat. "May I help you?" she asked, "I mean, other than the obvious need of clothing?"

"Lord Cthulu sent me," he answered. "The Giant Squid, who is the true owner of all you see here, arranged with the Founders of Hogwarts that they would be allowed to have their school on his lands, but if the school were to lose control, then the Giant Squid himself would take over. Since he can't leave the water and sees no good purpose in covering this place in water again, I have been sent as his agent."

Minerva did the only thing she could under the circumstances. She laughed. She completely lost control of her emotions, laughing and crying until she realized she was leaning against Dumbledore's tomb. That sobered her up instantly. "What-what happens if we refuse?" she asked, rubbing at some moisture that had leaked from the corner of an eye.

"Then the waters will rise, and Pan will rain down upon you all!" he intoned.

"That does seem a bit of a problem," Minerva said. "Let's get inside and see if we can sort this out." She led the way, resolving to have Filius do the actual sorting. "Do you have a name?" she asked, deciding to at least observe the proprieties.

"Larry will do for now," he answered.

Minerva nodded and guided Larry into the school. After leaving her guest in the Great Hall with several house-elves, she went in search of the Ravenclaw Head. If she was hoping that Filius would laughingly tell her the whole thing was just a joke, or to otherwise not worry about it, she was sorely disappointed. Instead, he nodded. "I believe there may be something to this story. It's a good thing the board of governors is set to meet this evening."

Minerva stood outside the staff room with Larry and listened to the mumble and roar of several voices. Without wanting to seem as though she were staring, she glanced at him from time to time, trying to decide where she'd seen him before. The light brown hair and the look around his mouth were very familiar, but none of it matched the green eyes.

The door opened after about an hour, and Filius looked out. "They want to talk to you," he said. "Minerva, why did I ever agree to be the board liaison?"

Larry went into the room and stood at the foot of the table, looking expectantly at the person sitting at the head. "I trust you've confirmed what I told Professor McGonagall?" he asked.

Several members nodded, and one pointed toward a stack of books and scrolls on the table. "It's well documented," said the chairman, "but we still have some questions and some other points to discuss."

"The thing is," said a pudgy-looking wizard in the middle, "we think things are a bit unsettled, but that there isn't any real problem. Therefore, we are saying thank you very much, but we don't need you."

A roll of thunder came from over the lake. The windows rattled and Larry carefully placed his hands on the table, leaning over it with a wolfish grin. "Let me illuminate the situation in which you find yourself. I am the one they send when things go wrong. Ladies and gentlemen," he continued, slowing his words to make each one clear, "things have indeed... gone... very... wrong..."

Author's Notes: Thank you to Headless Huntsman for creating such a fun character and for giving me permission to play in your sandbox. Thank you to Blue Artemis for alpha/beta reading.

This has been written for the Teachers' Lounge CRACKFEST '13 for recipients Headless Huntsman and Mugglebeene.