Somewhere an orchestra swells with the sounds of an old fashioned Sea Chantey.
Narrator: There I was…the wind blistering against me sails…argh!
Brin Octavia: Um…I didn't realize this was a swashbuckling pirate story! AWESOME!!
Joseph Conrad: *Sharply turns around* WHAT?! Heart of Darkness is and exploration of human savagery and despair…not some amateur pirate tale
Narrator: Fine…*sigh* Authors…*rolls eyes*
Joseph Conrad: Characters…*rolls eyes*
Brin Octavia: Anyways…
Narrator: *Clears throat* Alright…so I was aboard a ship called Nellie
Joseph Conrad: Ahem! What's the Nellie?
Narrator: A yawl….
Joseph Conrad: That's Right!! Make sure we confuse the readers right from the first sentence!
Narrator: …a yawl…and we were heading towards the Thames river, towards Gravesend…the biggest and greatest town in the world!!!! *Drools*
Brin Octavia: Wow…ummm…hmmm….
Narrator: The Director of Companies was our host…We four watched his back affectionately
Brin Octavia: Seamen…Sailors…on a ship…affectionately watching the captain's backside…that's not gay at all
Joseph Conrad: None of this novel is gay! It's very depressing…there are no happy intervals!
Brin Octavia: No, I meant gay as in homosexual
Joseph Conrad: eh?
Narrator: Anyways, the four of us…The lawyer, with his cushy cushion…and ruggedy rug…lucky bastard…
Joseph Conrad: The lawyer isn't a fatherless child…
Brin Octavia & Narrator: *rolls eyes*
Narrator: There was the accountant…who somehow found some domino game and was playing around with it…
Narrator: And Marlow…who was sitting as if he were some god we should all pray to…
Marlow: I was meditating!!
Narrator: Whatever…Anyways…I start going into some poetic state of mind about the sunset and *begins to weep* it was just so beautiful!!!!
Joseph Conrad: *Wipes away a tear* Yes, yes it was…
Narrator: Not only that, but all those wonderful men who had sailed the seas before us. Sir Francis Drake and Sir John Franklin…
Joseph Conrad: Oh! Oh! Don't forget those ships!!
Narrator: *slightly taken aback with a sharp gasp* How could you think that I would ever forget the Golden Hind?!
Brin Octavia: Yeah…how could you think the seaman would forget the Golden Hind….
Marlow: *His face is serene as he lets his hand glide along the edge of the water*
Brin Octavia: Marlow? *whistles* Hey…what are you doing?
Marlow: *embarrassed that he had been caught caressing the sea, turns around sharply, falls and lands on his face*
Brin Octavia: *laughs*
Marlow: To cover up my embarrassment, I must now become very philosophical about the darkness, eluding to the title of the novella, and then using an example of the Roman Legionaires in their triremes until we reach the city…
Narrator: *drools* The biggest and greatest…
Marlow & Brin Octavia: We got it the first time skippy
Narrator: *shrinks into a corner*
Marlow: Anyways….I pause momentarily and explain that of course none of us would feel the same way, and go into rant about how they all killed for material pocessions…Then I mention something about how I was a fresh-water sailor…
Everyone but Joseph Conrad: *moan* Noooooo
Joseph Conrad: *On the edge of his seat* Tell ussssssss!!!!!