Disclaimer: Don't own characters. Also I have this instinct that I've seen the whole 'Kitty as systems administrator of a mutant social networking site' somewhere before, but my knowledge of Google failed to find it so I assumed I'd made it up. If it turns out I'm just useless at searching and I'm actually ripping one of you off then I apologise.

An: So yeah, this is something that just sort of came to me after my last attempt at writing for this fandom. Jamie is just such fun to write, even if I'm prone to being a bit over the top with him.

"How did it go with The Professor?"

Jamie was startled by Amara's question as he left said Professor's study - even after a month of getting to know her properly he still wasn't really used to anyone talking to him (at least not voluntarily), after all it had been years since it had happened, though the people he went to school with weren't horrible to him the way the older children were - rather they viewed him as a strange curiosity. Still, Amara had asked and it was only polite to answer.

"Well, he did agree to a power and control test, but not the sort I was expecting."

"Oh, don't tell me he wants you to be a one boy boyband?" There was a large grin spread across her face, memories of the time he decided to do just that no doubt going through her head. He had been really terrible at it but it had been a fun afternoon. But it didn't help his current problem.

"That's not as far off as I would like to be honest." Jamie's face fell just from thinking about his upcoming ordeal.

"It can't be that bad?" She placed a comforting arm around his shoulders, which he didn't bother wriggling out of.

Jamie snorted. "I can only assume The Professor and McCoy have discussed this before. I've been asked to do..." he shook and Amara gripped him tighter.

"It's OK, we're friends, you can tell me."

"He wants me to put on a Shakespeare play. He's given me two weeks to prepare."

Anyone who grew up in an English speaking country would've understood the scale and difficulty of that task immediately, but Amara was not such a person.

"That's not so bad is it?"

"He might as well have told me not to bother. Shakespeare is difficult at the best of times, which a test isn't."

"I'm sure you'll rise to the challenge. You always do."

"Thanks Amara."

Their conversation was ended when they came upon Kitty in the hallway, in yet another phone argument with Lance.

"No Lance, I'm not doing the business with Forge, I'm in business with him... Yes there is a difference... The difference is that we're working on something together, not dating... It's still a secret at the moment... In due time... No then... No Lance, no. Oh, hey guys, wait up. Lance, I'm going to have to call you back."

Kitty hung up the phone and came over to them, a look of relief on her face.

"Is there trouble Kitty?" Amara asked, Jamie staring wide eyed having seemingly forgotten how to speak.

"Just my new project. Lance is jealous of the time I'm spending on it with Forge, I dread to think how he'll react when he finds out Warren's involved."

"Anyone else?" Amara pressed.

"The Professor, but I don't think Lance objects to me spending time with him, and a few others, who Lance puts up with because they're thousands of miles away."

"You shouldn't let Lance pick who you can hang out with." Jamie had got over his shock.

"Oh I don't - that's why we're arguing. Though it seems someone told him Forge and I were being less than proper, and when I find out who that was I think I'll leave them half way inside a wall. Anyway, what's new in your lives?"

"Well, nothing in mine sadly, but Jamie here's requested a new power test."

"Oh." Kitty turned her full attention to him. "So what have you got to do, survive half an hour with Logan?"

"I wish," Jamie replied, then at her quizzing look told her what he actually had to do.

"Oh you poor thing." Kitty wrapped her arms around him. "That is like totally barbaric. What're you gonna do?"

"I don't know," said Jamie as she rocked him back and forth. Indeed he truly didn't know, but it didn't help much that cognitive thought had gone from his brain in the instant that he felt Kitty's arms around him.

"Do you even know which play you'll do?" Kitty asked, to which Jamie shook his head. "I'm sure there was one where a woman had to disguise herself as a man in an attempt to get a job, which was made funnier when you remember that in Shakespeare's time women weren't allowed on stage so she would've been played by a man - have you considered that? It would be funnier still with all the roles being played by you."

"I haven't had much time to consider anything, but I think that one would be too much of a mess. Say Kitty, does the mansion even have a stage? I've never seen one but I've never had the cause to look."

"I don't think so, why?"

"Well, that makes it even harder."

Kitty patted her arms on his shoulders.

"What you need Jamie is a good cry. Wouldn't you agree Amara?"

"Is this Shakespeare guy really that bad?" Amara asked, still trying to comprehend why they were so upset.

"He's a fan of not using five words when a hundred is possible and he likes convoluted metaphors, let's put it that way."

"So Jamie, does The Professor want to test your memory? See if it applies to things other than dictionaries." Amara gave him a playful nudge.

"It's possible; I don't think The Professor knows about the woodwork or pottery stuff, though Mr. Logan does and I'd have thought he would have told him by now, so from that perspective it makes sense."

"What's this about dictionaries?" Kitty asked, finally releasing Jamie from the hug.

"I've been reading my way through the mansion's library. It turned out I'd memorized some of the translation dictionaries. Sort of." Jamie replied with uncertainty, the result of talking about things he's vaguely good at to his crush.

"Memorized the translation dictionaries?" Kitty recited slowly. "So you can speak, how many languages does The Professor have books for, 15?"

"No, sadly. The dictionaries are essentially a gigantic vocab list. The structure, distinctions between similar words and the idioms of a given language are beyond me. Just ask Amara." Jamie answered.

"Oh?" Kitty turned to her.

"He can work out what I'm saying in Latin as long as I go slowly and don't use obscure metaphors, but trust me when I say that he cannot speak it to save his life, can you Jamie? So, tea party?" Amara shot him a hopeful look.

Jamie nodded along to her description of his language skills, even if she was teasing him a bit.

"Wait what?" Kitty blurted.

"Well, if she goes too fast I can't mentally cross-reference the words quickly enough to..."

"No not that. What's with the 'tea party'?"

"It's how we spend Friday afternoons when we don't have the willpower for anything else," Jamie told her. "And Amara, I'd be happy to. I'm already in what's currently my best suit after you set fire to my proper one..."

"Sorry about that," Amara interjected, then added for a curious Kitty's benefit "I had an allergy and I sneezed and spurted fire. His suit was in the way."

"Anyway, these are the best clothes I have at the moment. Shall I see you in 10?" Jamie looked over.

"Sure," Amara replied, and they leaned into a hug, butting heads before managing it properly. Kitty gave an excited squeak from behind them.

"Oh. My. God. Are you two like, together?"

"No, we're not, we're like, you and Kurt," Amara told Kitty. Jamie was finding this part of the conversation too bizarre, the girl he liked asking him if he was dating his best friend. Though to Kitty's credit he'd never realized that was how he'd come to see Amara over the last few weeks until just then. Having a best friend was a major milestone for him.

"Oh, OK. That's too bad, I'd never really thought about it before but you two really do look cute together." Kitty pouted as both Jamie and Amara looked slightly disturbed by that. "Um, guys, it's OK to say no here but do you mind if I join you?"

"What?" Jamie and Amara asked in surprise.

"Kurt's on a secret date with technically Rogue but that's only so that they can 'randomly bump into' their actual dates (as far as Amanda's parents would be able to prove if they stumbled upon them) when they arrived there. Scott and Jean are being, well, Scott and Jean. Lance is being super jealous, Danielle's too busy to call for the next few days, and I can't continue my big project until I next see Forge which won't happen until some time next week, so I'm feeling a bit alone right now and could use some company. So, may I please join your little 'tea party'?"

Jamie and Amara had a silent conversation with one another for a moment.

"Absolutely, I won't say 'the more the merrier' because there isn't infinite room, but there's certainly more than enough space for you," Jamie told her. "My room, 10 minutes, pseudo-formal dress code."

"Pseudo-formal" Kitty asked.

"It doesn't have to be truly formal, just look like it could be mistaken for it by a rather stupid casual onlooker at first glance."

"Got it, thank you. See ya then." Kitty sped off, presumably to get changed, and though for most of the way they were going in the same direction eventually Amara did too leaving Jamie alone when he entered his room, well, aside from two clones armed with Bugsy Malone splurge guns that he'd left standing guard to do battle with would-be pranksters. And it was once he was inside that he was overcome with horror - the girl he 'lurved' as Roberto was apt to tease him would be over in a few minutes.

Creating a dozen clones he had them rush over making it even tidier than should've been possible. Due to his doing that on a common basis it was already one of the most clean and tidy rooms in the mansion but even so he wanted to leave no stone unturned, or floor plank in this case. More importantly, he wanted any sign of his crush on her hidden. That shouldn't have been hard because the only thing that was a major giveaway was a photo from when they went to the concert together, but Jamie didn't know what to do about it. Then after a minute the obvious answer came to him and he put it above his photos of his teammates - if anyone asked it was there to commemorate his first time in the big league when Rogue's powers acted up, which was genuinely the proudest moment of his life despite his being less than useless.

He recalled his clones (except the guards) and took a quick trip to the bathroom getting back out just before he heard knocking.

"Jamie, are you there?" Kitty called and he opened the door. He was glad Roberto wasn't able to see his face just then because she looked stunning, wearing her hair loose over a sleeveless blue dress, red socks and purple sandals and he was, well, stunned. "May I come in?" Kitty asked after a moment.

"Of course." Jamie shook himself out of his beauty induced shock. "Just bear with me a moment."

As Kitty walked in and after looking around uncertainly sat on his desk, Jamie fiddled with some of the latches against his bedroom's back wall and the dining table fell into place, just next to his bed. He straightened the legs out underneath it for stability.

"OK, that is impressive, and it's just dawned on me that this is a literal tea party, I thought it was just an expression," said Kitty, surprise written all over her face. "Does The Professor know about this?"

"I did mention it to him when we first rebuilt the mansion but I'm not sure how much attention he was paying, what with your school principal and all. Mr. Logan knows all about it though because he helped me build it. Seemed to find it amusing." Jamie tried to remember what came next. "Hang on, let me get the chairs." He disappeared into the bathroom and came back carrying 4 wooden chairs with cushioned seats, setting them up around three sides of the table. "Please, take a seat."

Kitty sat down nearest the door and Jamie sat down opposite her, and they chatted about unimportant subjects while waiting for Amara. Which wasn't all that long.

"Hello you two," she entered closing the door behind her. (She was wearing a mostly orange dress with yellow sleeves, a golden yellow hairclip, red tights and grey sandals but as Jamie wasn't trying to hide a major crush on her the effect was less overwhelming. He did however notice a great big smudge where she'd had an accident with eye-liner or mascara [and what was the difference between those two anyway?]). "Tabby's in the shower right now but she'll be along later."

"Oh, is Tabby coming?" Kitty asked. "Is this a regular event?"

"We've only been doing this for the last month Kitty, every Friday afternoon when we just want a nice time to relax," Jamie replied, "but within those parameters it's not uncommon. Tabitha is Amara's best friend so of course she's welcome and besides, she's always fun, so she turns up here rather a lot. Since Bobby declared open season we've been in an alliance against him in the ongoing prank war. Why, is that a problem?"

"Oh no," Kitty replied quickly. "It's just that I don't know her all that well. We've never really talked I guess."

"Hey Jamie, given that Tabby's in our shower may I please use your bathroom; I'm having a make-up emergency?" Amara asked, a random subject change if ever there was one.

"Of course you can," he replied. "You've got a long way to go before I feel you've taken too much advantage of my hospitality to receive it," he added teasingly. "One thing first though." Jamie gestured to the table in front of him. "I feel like I've forgotten something? Can you tell me what?"

Amara looked it over.

"Silly Jamie, you've forgotten the part that makes it a tea party in the first place."

Jamie realized she was right. In amidst his haste to remove the evidence of his Kitty-crush he'd entirely forgotten about the beverages and snacks.

"The usual?" Jamie asked placing a hand on Amara's arm as she walked past him.

"Of course," she replied and after a quick hug and a whispered "Back in a minute, just hang in there" she went into his bathroom as a horrid thought entered Jamie's mind: Amara could tell he was uncomfortable right now; had she guessed about his feelings for Kitty?

Jamie forced those thoughts down as he pulled down a wall panel revealing a kettle, sink and draining board. He filled up said kettle and plugged it in on his desk, then opened yet another hole in the wall to where the teas, coffees et cetera were stored. It would bug The Professor greatly to know that Jamie's hot drinks supply was greater than that of the mansion's main kitchen but again, it's not his fault if The Professor didn't bother to listen to him. He created a pair of clones to work on Amara's favourite drink - Amazonian River Bean Coffee, for which the beans had to be ground up in a machine he kept at the back, and he turned his own attention back to Kitty.

"So, see anything you like?" Jamie asked.

But Kitty would clearly take a while to look through the options so Jamie opened yet another hole, this one behind his bookcase, and pulled out some clay mugs. Plain of course because while his skill with pottery was enough to make ones that didn't leak it wasn't up to the standard of intricate shapes and patterns.

Eventually Kitty decided on a choice of drink (Cocoa ready mix) and Amara returned and sat down with them, Jamie having to boil a second load of water for his own drink but leaving that to his clones. After all it was far more worthwhile for him to enjoy his friends than his kettle. Another clone brought snacks over, most of it containing chocolate chips, and they tucked in for a bit.

"So Kitty, what is this big project of yours?" Jamie asked after a few minutes of trying not to stare at her dress (and if he did lay his eyes on it then trying not to look at her boobs tempting though the urge was) and genuinely curious about it.

"I suppose I can tell you since trying to keep anything secret from you never works but please don't let it leave the mansion. I'm trying to create things to help mutants come together. It's a big thing. Forge and I are working on a mutant community website, codename - Mutantnet, with backing from Warren, some English guy named Brian, some Irishman named Sean, and a Japanese man whose name I haven't managed to correctly pronounce yet, and yes, Brian and Sean do find it hilarious that I can't say it right, but that's besides the point. We've got to find some way to integrate all the important mutant newsfeeds, from politics to sports to celebrity gossip. And somehow make it so that non-mutants can comment as guests but can't make full accounts, and how do we distinguish between a mutant and another superpowered person, or even if they're empowered at all since x-genes don't always activate, It's a huge challenge but a fun one to attempt to solve."

Amara looked up between mouthfuls.

"The mutant community doesn't need a website Kitty - it needs safehouses and stuff like that. Nobody who's been threatened by a hate mob will feel safe or secure for the existence of a webpage." Amara was prevented from continuing by Tabby knocking on the door.

"Haya Tabby," greeted Jamie from the table as one of his clones let her in.

"Hi," she replied looking around. Amara rose from her chair and bolted over to her wrapping her in a big hug which Tabby gladly returned.

"Are you feeling better now?" Amara asked.

Tabby nodded. "A little."

"Wait, are you sick?" Jamie's voice filled with worry. Tabby might technically be one of his rivals in the mansion pranking league as their alliance was only against Bobby, but she was his friend too (a dichotomy that he didn't really know how to deal with, despite the pranking league being the closest thing he had to friends for most of his time at the mansion).

"It's not that. I was the victim of a game of 'mutant baiting' and well..."

Jamie had heard enough and snapped his fingers on both hands, two more clones appearing when he did and he'd given the pair of them one single thought process in their creation - comfort.

As Amara let go of Tabby the clones escorted her to her seat and then began to do what they were created for, gently rubbing her shoulders and upper back, and it was testament to just how upset Tabby was that she didn't object, instead allowing him to go on, though it did help that Jamie had researched how to do backrubs properly - he'd read The Professor's book on 'Massaging for Beginners'. A reseated Amara also helped with the comforting by placing her left hand over Tabby's right.

"What would you like to drink Tabby?" Jamie asked her.

"Do you still have any of that lovely but unusual mixture that Rahne sent you for Christmas?" Tabby asked hopefully.

"The 'blackcurrant and gooseberry'? Sure, still got quite a bit of that actually." Jamie assured her and at her smile he set some other clones to it. "From what I can gather this bigshot mutant in Britain named Earl Braddock misfilled a processing request and instead of 6 plants worth of it his farmhands made 6 acres of the stuff, and in a bid to get rid of it he gave a large amount to among others Rahne's sort-of-foster-mother Moira, and Rahne in turn passed it on to me. Did you note it came at Christmas? Most of my freight car's worth of it is in my house where my parents won't touch it because, well, it's something of an acquired taste, so when I run low here I can simply have more sent over."

As Tabby nodded along Kitty suddenly looked up.

"Wait a second, would 'Earl Braddock' by any chance be Brian Braddock, because if so I'm starting to doubt the people working on my 'bringing mutants together' plan?" Kitty fixed him with a stare.

"I don't know, you'll have to ask Rahne, but if it helps I assure you that despite the odd absent-minded moment he has done a lot for mutants. Did you know that in the British legislature the old feudal nobles are allowed to have 80 or so seats to represent them? Well, somehow he got in and managed to stonewall a mutant control bill in committee to such a degree that a government eager to get it done before an election had to settle for a Mutant Response Act that he had essentially written himself - for the benefit of mutants. I'm sure if you look on the internet hard enough you'll find the video of him so utterly slating the original bill that it had to be abandoned. It would've been amusing if it wasn't so serious."

"No, it's still amusing." Tabby chuckled. "The idea of a mutant hijacking a mutant regulation proposal and turning it to our own good is... I think the word is 'exquisite'. Why haven't I heard about this before?"

"Since when has the news ever covered anything outside our own borders with anything resembling sense? Or anything concerning mutants?" Kitty replied with questions of her own and Tabby conceded the point.

"Anyway Kitty, feeling better about him again, assuming they are in fact the same person?" Jamie asked. "I would hate for 'Project: Mutantnet' to fail because you lacked faith in the others to get it done."

"Oh, a little but only because he's not involved in the creating or developing side of it, he and Warren are the only involved in the funding and advertising parts. If they were its developers I'd still be very worried. Anyway, enough about my 'Top-Secret Project', how about you? Do you have any ideas for 'Operation: Shakespeare'?"

Jamie dropped his head back into his hands. "I don't even know where to start."

"Well, we can help you with that." Kitty leaned forwards and Jamie hoped both for and against her leaning so far forwards that he would be able to see down the top of her dress. She didn't lean that far as it turned out, instead she started leaning back again. "I can't reach from here. Amara, would you mind holding Jamie's left arm for me?"

Amara put her drink down and did as Kitty suggested, placing her right arm against Jamie's left resting her hand just below his elbow.

"Kitty's right you know." She smiled between sentences. "Of course we'll help you with this."

"And I'm grateful, truly I am, but what do you know about Shakespeare really?" Jamie responded, placing his other arm over hers for maximum comfort.

"Basically nothing, but I'm sure I can help you in other ways. If you want to reduce it to basic terms: you are my friend, therefore I love you, therefore I will support you. Just like you supported me when I had that issue with those two brotherhood members."

"I still think you should've let me help too." Tabby stood up, knocking the comfort clones backwards with enough force to dissipate them.

"I didn't want to put you in the middle," said Amara meekly. "I know you have fond memories of your time with them and compared to most people Fred and Todd are pretty nice. It's just that an argument between us kind of snowballed, literally when you consider who was playing us against each other. We worked it out in the end."

"Would you please excuse me?" Tabby asked with false civility. "I'd like to go and murder Bobby."

"Oh, but your drink's just finished," Jamie replied.

She instantly sat back down. "I'll kill him later, he's not going anywhere." A clone brought her drink over.

Kitty, who'd been laughing through the display, turned serious again.

"So Jamie, am I correct in thinking that part of the problem you're having is that there's so much to choose and then do that you're feeling overwhelmed by the scope of it?"

"Yes, that's exactly it Kitty," Jamie replied, running his fingers along Amara's sleeve.

"Well then, we'll have to simplify it for you won't we. Tabby, how well do you know the Shakespeare Omnibus?"

"Not remotely," Tabby replied. "By the way, Jamie, could I please have another couple of those massaging duplicates?"

"OK then Tabby, pick and say outloud a number between one and um, er, didn't think this through, let's say fifty," Kitty told her as Jamie sent another two Jamies to make her feel better.

"Two." Tabby punched the air.

"Right, two." Kitty looked back at Jamie. "What's the second one in your Shakespeare Collection?"

"Two Gentlemen of Verona." Jamie knew that almost instinctively.

"OK then, Two Gentlemen of Verona it is. Now you've just got to figure out how to put it on." Kitty gave him a look, and Jamie realized she had done exactly what she said she would - it didn't seem quite so daunting any longer. "Uh, do you mind if I use your bathroom?"

"Thank you for your help Kitty." Jamie directed a clone to hug her as a show of appreciation, then made certain to reabsorb the clone - the feeling of hugging Kitty was one that he wanted to be as undiluted as possible. "And by all means help yourself." He gestured to the bathroom door.

"Thank you."

As Kitty took a break they settled into silence as Jamie tried to piece together what else needed to be done. Now it seemed less like a whirling galaxy and more like a 5000 piece jigsaw, immensely hard but doable. Sadly he couldn't for the life of him see what to do next. After a couple of minutes in which the only sound was sipping and munching Kitty reappeared.

"You're using an ice-cream dispencer for soap? I'm impressed but how on earth did you get that? In fact how do you keep everything else so clean." Kitty asked.

"I bought the ice-cream machines from my school when they were about to throw them out, then realized that I only needed one, so for lack of anything better to do with it I used the other one for soaps. And I can keep everything else clean because cleaning is not such a daunting task when there's twenty of me."

"Fair enough," said Kitty but Jamie was sure he heard her mutter "You have an ice cream machine and you're not using it" under her breath.

"Of course I'm using it, this just didn't seem like ideal ice-cream weather. Why, do you want some? I have Strawberry, Vanilla, Chocolate, Pepsi (don't ask), Lime and... something else. I think the clone that loaded the end one must have been destroyed rather than absorbed because I can't remember it properly." He watched as Kitty took that in.

"Jamie, allow me to give you some advice on girls that will benefit you greatly down the line. If you have girls over and you have a fully stocked industrial grade ice-cream machine, you offer them an ice-cream, not randomly mention it after a girl mutters to herself about you misusing a smaller one. I'm sure Amara and Tabby would love one, wouldn't you?" Kitty turned to look at them.

"I'm not that good with cold things," said Amara. "It's part of my mutation."

"And I do love ice-cream, but not while I'm drinking. Besides, I do know about that machine, after Jamie offered me one when I was sweating streams last Sunday when Ms. Monroe was in a bad mood and Ray broke the air-conditioning," said Tabby.

That was a good day. For once Bobby had risen to the occasion spectacularly, albeit after a long siesta, and cooled one of the mansion's lounges down by turning it into an ice-rink, and they had a fun evening messing around on skates.

"OK, OK. Can I have one later on then?" Kitty sat down as Jamie nodded to her and they settled into almost silence again.

"Oh, idea, idea!" Tabby called from her seat, this time taking care not to destroy his clones. Everyone turned to look at her. "Well, you need a stage for a play, right?" They nodded. "And the mansion doesn't have one." More nods. "And you make stuff all the time. Even discounting the pranks there's still this table, these chairs, these mugs et cetera..."

"You made the chairs and mugs too?" Kitty interrupted.

"Uh, yeah. I had some wood left over because I expected the faux-wall drinks dispenser prank to take more failed attempts than it did so I decided to make some chairs, it's become something of a hobby of mine, that outdoor dining table and chairs the mansion acquired three weeks ago didn't come from Home Depot you know, and I had some fabric and stuffing left over from another prank so I put cushions on them. The clay was also left over from something but I can't for the life of me remember what."

"I guess that explains... Anyway, go on Tabby."

"Well, I was just wondering, have any of you guys seen Junkyard Wars?"

An2: So, any good?