Author's note: I do not own hey arnold, or any of it's characters, unfortunately. This is my first fan fic, so please be nice. I've read so many great stories on here and enjoyed them so much, I thought I should give back to the community. I hope you can enjoy mine too. Thanks for reading.

Chapter 1

November 3rd,2004

Dear Diary,

It's been a long while since I've wrote anything. I really should write in this thing more often, it's a nice way to remember the past. When people read poetry, they formulate their own interpetations and never know the facts, but I guess that's why I love it. Anyways, it's been exactly 4 years since my beloved has left to be with his parents. I still remember that day so vividly, I miss him so much. I didn't even think it was possible to be this attached to another person. I'm really glad that I was nice to him on the day he was leaving. It may have been hard to do it back then, but I believe it had truly paid off. Not one day goes by without thoughts of my precious angel, my sweet God, my beloved prince... sorry.. I got carried away there... I haven't recieved a letter in a while. The last letter I had gotten from Arnold, he said that his parent's work was almost done and then they would try to get back home soon. That was a few months ago. I do worry about him sometimes, I know I shouldn't though. I've always felt as if we have this special connection or six sense or something, like if he was no longer... I would know it immediately. I really don't want to get my hopes up and plan on him coming back though, I don't want to get hurt that badly. The day he left, is the day I convinced myself I'd never see him again. It was heart-breaking, sad, you know the works, the stuff that makes great poetry. It's better that way though, it's like putting up a pathetic little wall, but the wall is strong enough to at least save myself from pain in the future. I had always admired him from afar anyways, being in love with him, but never directly talking about my feelings to anyone. It hurts, but doesn't at the same time because I'll always love him, no matter where he is.

I've changed a lot because of him, not on the deep deep inside, but on the exterior. I no longer have anything to hide or fear without the football head around. Also, I did promise him I'd be nicer to people and I really have been. It's almost embarrassing, remembering how I used to be. So pushy and rude, I was always scheming. That was a long time ago, I mean sometimes I have my moments, but I think I'm almost as nice as Lila, almost. No one could be as nice as that prissy (insert bad noun here). Well, I kind of like Lila, in some ways. She never told my secret from 4th grade, so I know I can somewhat trust her. I still can't believe that she's 100% nice all the time though, there has to be something off. Phoebe and I have our Saturday slumber parties every week, sometimes crashed by Oool-gah. I honestly don't mind her now that I'm older. I realized that her being annoying is just her way of trying to get closer with me. Once I figured that out, she didn't seem so bad. She was right about how I'm so lucky that Mom and Dad always put her in the spotlight. However, I seem to be in the spotlight a little more now that Olga has graduated college, but not so much that I feel like a wind-up doll. I have really learned to appreciate my parents, I just had to give them a chance. I know they love me, they just don't show it how normal parents do. I think I have a pretty good home life these days. Miriam works as Bob's secretary now and Olga teaches at P.S. 118 (since I don't go there anymore). I don't think Olga will ever leave home, she loves our parents way too much. She always comes home after to work to make some fancy-schmancy meal, I don't know if she's just brown nosing or actually enjoys cooking. I started attending some tutor club recently just so I wouldn't have to help make dinner (see I still have a mean streak sometimes). Phoebe wanted me to join anyways, so she could have a friend. It's funny tutoring the middle schoolers because it's hard to imagine you were that size, like two years ago. Especially, when I imagine Phoebe and Gerald dating when they were that age. I think they'll always be together, I'm really happy for them. I wish Arnold could see them, he would be too. So anyways, that's what's been going on in my life for the past few years. I hope you've liked the update, hopefully I'll remember to write more soon.

Love,

Me

Helga G. Patacki

P.S. I will always love Arnold =).

As I put down the diary, I think if I should read the entry of when Arnold left. It's so beautiful, but really depressing at the same time. I don't think I'm ready to read that actually. I should really just get to bed, it's probably already late. I know the later I stay up the less motivation I'll have to get out of bed in the morning. So, I turned off my light and slowly drifted into a deep slumber.