Hello everyone! This story is going to be pretty messed up in the end (if i reach it) so if you won't be satisfied with the plot i guess i can understand you... Well, time to start this fanfiction with the most detastable OC you could ever read about! (If it'll piss you guys off, then it's perfect). Enjoy the reading!
1. Young blood
The sun.
The mother star, the brightest, of the solar system and the most important source of energy for life on Earth.
About three quarters of the Sun's mass consists of hydrogen; the rest is mostly helium, with much smaller quantities of heavier elements, including oxygen, carbon, neon, and iron.
Why am i telling you this now?
Humpf.
When i was little i was obsessed with my name, Haru, so i used to spend my days looking at that blazing and awfully dazzling circle, floating in the endless sky. I loved the way its rays were burning in my eyes, making me see everything so sparkly; the warmth of the sunlight laying on my white and soft skin. I fell in love with the sunrise. I was the first to get up in the house, because i didn't want to miss the chance of making a wish upon the rising sun.
Pretty childish.
Needless to say, my favorite subject in grade school was science: i just couldn't stop staring at the picture of the shining sphere on my textbook. That's why there is nothing i don't know about the sun.
Even now i'm looking up to that star, from the darkness of my room. I do it every morning, like an old habit.
Blinding as ever. What a pain in the butt!
Closed the tent by one step, with a quick movement, i head to the mirror just to watch closely at my pretty and annoyed face, as always.
What can i see when i look into the mirror?
To my mum i was pure light. She couldn't see anything but a glaring overwhelming light. Why? Well, this is a sad story to tell. Maybe i'll save it for later.
To my dad i was probably a living disgrace. A troublemaker, a spoiled brat. Not that i care though...!
And me?
What do i usually see when i look at myself?
Getting close to the that piece of glass, the only things i could see were a pair of sharp icy eyes, slightly scary in their shape and colour; A lovely smart-mouth surrounded by rosy and soft lips; Long golden hair, ending in red flaming tips. In conclusion, a crimson star-shaped birthmark on my right cheek, just right under the eye. I hated it.
At least i could have been proud of the curves of my body, kindly offered by nature and mainly by my biological mother.
I was fine. Fine enough to be a mean girl. Because i was this!
A mean girl.
Partly chose to be one, partly called like this from the others.
After giving a quick look to the kitty-shaped clock in my room, i started to get ready to go to school.
School...was it even alright to call it like that?
I mean, that was indeed school, but never i attended it like a normal student. After all, the only reason i was going to a normal school was to avoide attending an onmouji-sized one.
I never wanted to be an onmyouji in the first place.
Why?
Because it's stupid.
I prefer leading an ordinary life in an ordinary world, where the only thing i am supposed to fight is boredom. And i'm pretty good against it too!
Pulling out my favorite pair of red stockings from the drawer, i slowly made them slide and cling to the shape of my skinny thighs, getting into my monochrome and ugly uniform, without forgetting to put some make-up on, especially on my birthmark.
With two different coloured lipstick in front of my eyes, i started examining them accurately. The red-blood one or the coral pink one?
After thinking about it for a while, i grinned to myself and made the final choice.
"I'll take it easy for today, i'm not in a good mood..." i said picking up the coral pink one and carefully putting it on my tender lips.
"Time to kick this boring life in the butt!"
I smiled confident to my reflection in the mirror.
It was already very late when i was sneaking downstair on my tiptoes, heading towards the kitchen, in the grip of a sudden hunger. It didn't matter though, since i couldn't care less about running late for school!
My parents wouldn't have cared about that anyway. They were too busy with the family business and other onmyouji affairs.
I was free to do whatever i wanted to do! Without nobody watching me all the time.
"Haru, what are you doing?"
In that moment, i swallowed my own heart.
I was just about to put my hands on an appetising pieace of bread with cherry jam on it, and sinking my voracious teeth in its softness!
Then i turned my face towards the male voice and showed my best annoyed expression.
"Ren...!"
"Ahh, gomen gomen! I didn't want to startle you."
He said putting his hands forth, smiling innocently.
This was Ren. A handsome, well-mannered and gentle guy, just two tears older than me. He was my bodyguard, but i used to see him as the brother i never had.
A bodyguard? Yes.
Actually i am the only daughter of the Amawaka clan. I've been treated as a princess since i can remember, in order to follow my parents path and becoming the new head of the family. But screw it.
Anyway, my parents believed that my safety was an A priority, thinking that people might aim for me, jeopardising my precious life; that's the reason i've been knowing Ren since we were just babies. He has grown up with me in this house.
"I think you shouldn't go to school dressed like that. Your parents will be worried."
He took the plate with the bread and kindly offered it to me, with a warm smile on his face.
I deeply appreciated his act and welcomed it with a tip of sourness.
"Chill. First of all, they're never at home..." biting the piace of bread, i took a small pause.
"...secondly, i couldn't care less." i said while still swalloing the bite.
"I see, but don't start complaining if chichi will scold you again."
"I know, i know..." i did in an annoyed tone of voice.
Before i could say anything else, another boy quietly entered the room. He was Rin.
I usually thought about Rin as the came-out-wrong other brother. Rin was Ren's twin brother; both my bodyguards, but very different from each other.
Allow me to introduce him.
Rin is even worse than me! And i think this sentence explained everything.
He's stubborn, cold, always angry...! His face reminds me of my father's too. Of course this is just his cool facade. Actually, he's just as kind as his twin brother but...he struggles quite a lot at showing his tender side.
Both me and Ren were waiting for Rin to say something, like "good morning!"...no way, huh? Such a tsundere!
Rin calmly headed towards his cup of coffee and took a sip of its bitterness, without even looking into our direction. But we were watching him in a freaky way.
When he finally lifted his face and met our gazes, he sucked his teeth in a fed up expression.
"Still acting big, i see. You know, you're no more in kindergarten: play time is over."
What was it supposed to mean?!
"You-"
"C'mon guys, it's too early to start word-dwelling! Let's all have a nice breakfast together." Ren interrupted me with his pacifist invitation. Well done, Ren! I could have killed him with my edgy sarcasm.
Don't get the wrong idea, i like Rin, sometimes we also get along pretty well, but when he sees me dressed too risqué or misbehaving in general, he starts acting meaner. He cares for me, i know.
"Haru, aren't you late for school?" Ren looked at me from the edge of his glasses.
"Kinda. Guess i'll go then."
I took my bag and started walking towards the main hallway. at that time i could sense Rin and Ren's intense glances on my back, impregnated with concern.
Once i reached the genkan and began to taking off my slippers, i heard the sound of someone's steps coming from behind.
"Haru-sama, before you go out i need to inform you about something."
I could've recognized that voice among thousands.
"Yes, Yuzuru?"
Yuzuru was an eldest member of the Amawaka house. She used to know my mother when she was just a teenager like me, and she was like an aunt to me, though, sometimes, she scared me.
"Your father said that he wants to talk with you as soon as possible to discuss an important matter."
"If it was that important, he could have asked me to talk abou it personally. Also, i have to go to school now, i can't."
Yuzuru remained silent for a few seconds.
"I understand, i'll let him know your reply."
As i heard her walking away i sighed in relief for a moment, but deep down, i was very anxious.
Shimon Amawaka, also known among the onmyouji as the Crismon phoenix, Suzaku. He was my father.
We never got along much well...
Every now and then, he wants to "talk" with me about starting the training session for becoming an onmyouji, but this conversation always end up with me screaming at him while he keeps scolding me without listen to what i want to say. It is indeed a very difficult relationship.
I might understand though how he must be feeling.
One of the most powerful onmyouji among the twelve heavenly commanders having a daughter who doesn't want to follow his steps and becoming a talented onyouji or the new head of his clan. He must be feeling ashamed for this when he's in front of his other colleagues.
But i am not his piece of work. I'm not something he can show off to the others just to feel proud of his good work as a father!
That was the reason why i just wanted to lead a normal life. I didn't want to satisfy dad's expectations.
Still, my blood began to boil when i heard from Yuzuru that he wanted to talk with me. I was feeling nervous, but was it really rage?
What if that frustration was something more similiar to happiness or excitement, instead? I didn't know myself.
After all, i haven't seen him in a while now...
Eh?
No way!
There's no way i really felt happy about seeing him again, right now!
Haru, you perfecty know how is going to end this. He's just going to lecture you all over again, about the same boring stuff. Dad will look at me with his harsh glare and his strict poise, as always! He'll never behave like a proper loving father...
...so, i won't behave like a good daughter either.
Suddenly, i felt vulnerable. And i hated myself for that.
I don't need him. I don't need a father who's always forcing me to do what he wants for myself. I thought.
Shit.
Before i could even notice, the floor under my feet started looking so blurry and unclear; a stinging warmth suddenly arose in my eyes and i could feel my eyes quickly getting watery.
"Are you stil here?"
Not now, not Rin.
I rubbed my face in a flash, trying to hide the fact that i was about to cry. If Rin would have noticed that, he would have laughed at me for the rest of my life!
"I'm going!" i rised my voice, almost unconsciously.
As soon as i stuffed my shoes, i marched towards the main door and, once i opened it, i threw myself into the outside world and left my whole fragility behind my back, at home, where it could've rest for a while.
I couldn't stand staying in that house.
It was gloomy and decaying, empty for most of the time. Its cold walls always made me feel like i was held captive in a cage, just like a pretty exotic bird. Surrounded by people who only had exorcism and a strong desire to risk their lives in their mind. I've always felt like fish out of water there.
I was the Amawaka clan's heir, therefore, i've been treated with respect from the minor members of the household since i was born. Some of them also used to adress to me like "the sun princess" when i was younger, but when i once threatened them to make my parents know about their filfhy affairs, they were so scared that they stopped.
I've always been a smart little girl, after all. I couldn't give a damn about my family members but i knew everything about everyone.
I deeply despised people being kind and polite to me just because i was an Amawaka's pure-blood child. I really used to think they loved me as a true family, but once i heard them talking trash about me behind my back, well, my point of view changed. To them, i was just a snooty, tofee-nosed Missy with a surly attitude.
Indeed i was, but nobody ever took an interest in asking me the reason behind that behaviour. Now i can talk about it freely, without any pride.
My parents, again.
I used to be a loving and kind daughter too, when i was a baby, but everything changed that fatal day.
19th December, my birthday.
The main hall had been arranged for the occasion, even thuough only the closest family members had been invited. A fuss wasn't needed.
Around me i could see a bunch of coloured big baloons and other cheerful decorations for kids with a fancy cake on the ancient table. Everything looked so shiny and warm in my innocent eyes, full of joyness and delight!
I was about to unwrap my parents present, but an emergecy call interrupted that happy moment. My dad went aside, in the darkest and most hidden corner of the big room; i followed him with my gaze, waiting for him to come back to the light.
I couldn't hear a thing at that time, but i saw his concerned and agitated expression while he was talking on the phone. He was getting more and more flustered.
My mom suddenly got close to him, just as worried as me.
When the phone call ended and dad hung up, he returned to the party with my mother on his side, and raised his voice into a speacial announcement.
I don't remember what he said at that time, but he was probably talking about an urgent and dangerous mission which came up. I can say that it was a very risky one because everybody started freaking out when they heard the upcoming news.
How are we going to fight this?!
We'll need reinforcements! We can't do it alone!
This is a suicide mission!
The happy-go-lucky mood in the room shattered at the sound of their panicked voices. I could sense they're hearts trembling in fear...
"Indeed, this is going to be a dangerous mission, but we are the only ones left. If we don't exorcise that impurity quickly, things will get even worse for the population! Get ready."
Ahh, dad's voice was so bossy and lound at that time, but instead of scaring, it calmed me. Also the other family members put themselves back together and replied with a loudly "Yes, sir!"
The room began to clear out rapidly, as all the present onmyouji's went to prepare themselves for a another battle. The only people left inside were mum and dad.
"Take me with you." my mother begged him.
"Impossible. You can't fight in your condition and you have to look after Haru." his firmness was impassable as he said that.
Mom found herself fighting between her responsabilities as a mother and her duties as the head of the family. Her face visually upset with trembling lips and her turquoise eyes wide open; then, i saw a glimps of resolution sparkling in her expression.
"I am the head of the Amawaka clan, you can't cut me out of this just because of my current situation. You need me, now."
Dad's face suddenly look very concerned while he was staring into those determinate eyes. Then he came close to me, kneeling to the ground.
"Haru, we're going to come back soon, i promise. Be a good girl while we're out." he said kissing my forehead.
Now that i think about it, his gaze was looking quite sad, back then. He didn't want to leave me.
Before i could even express my feelings about it, he casted a barrier-spell around the whole household, locking me in the inside, for safety, and he left with my mother.
And by then, the big hall was already filled with emptyness.
I'd been left there, alone, still surrounded by those cheerfull ornaments and with the consumed smoking birthday candles. A shiver spreaded through my body, making me feel cold.
That was the first time i've ever met loneliness in my life. In my mind, she was a lady characterizide by a deafining silence and an apathic aura. It was scary.
I was there, sitting on the ground, with my whole fragility and smallness, waiting for time to start flowing again; colours began to fade and i grew afraid of saying something out loud. I felt like diving into cold water.
I quickly became aware of the fact that i had been left alone in a very big mansion, so i freezed in fear. In my head, sad questions started rising up:
Did they abandoned me?
Will they really come back for me?
What if i'll be alone forever?
Those nothingness and solitude already started eating me out, feeding on my restlessness and fear. I was powerless against them! For all that time i've never knew how to handle all of this, that's why i was panicking.
After looking around, searching for something i didn't know myself, i finally lowered my head and looked at the half-unwrapped gift between my tiny legs.
At first i was tempted to open it without waiting for my parents, but then i remembered my father's promise.
So i started waiting, alone, while darkeness was slowly making its way throughout the house. The dusk.
I waited for hours, sitting in the same spot, without moving an inch and listening to the scary sounds of those old wooden walls. But, in the end, i couldn't resist any longer. I desperately needed to find something to cling on! So i discarded the present. Piece of paper after pieace of paper i patiently removed the covering, and what i found beneath of it was a hand-stitched doll.
The body was well made, but her facial expression was kinda creepy.
It didn't really matter, in the end! I was overjoyed from the bottom of my heart. I knew my parents made it with love, so i hugged her tight and, before i could notice, i fell asleep while crying.
When i woke up again, it was already morning. There isn't much important stuff to remember from here on.
In the end my father didn't keep his promise to come back soon and i only saw him again four days later in a hospital. I was so enraged that i tossed away the doll my parents give me for my birthday and made a promise to myself instead.
From now on, i will never trust mum and dad anymore! I won't be a good girl and i'll never become an onmyouji!
And from that day, i started misbehaving and causing trouble to people; mainly because i wanted to upset my parents but also because i wanted attention.
Putting out my teleportation talisman, i started reciting the only enchantment i've ever allow myself to and opened the gate linked to Tokyo, where my school was, and calmly crossed it still lost in my old memories.
Ahh, mendoukusai...!
Author's notes:
Haru: (陽) means "sun" or "sunlight" in japanese.
Gomen: it means "sorry" in japanese.
Chichi: (父) the kanji stands for "father" literally. Ren usually referes to Haru's parents calling them with their traditional names.
Tsundere: is a Japanese term for a character development process that describes a person who is initially cold and even hostile towards another person before gradually showing a warmer side over time.
Genkan:(玄関) are traditional Japanese entryway areas for a house, apartment, or building—something of a combination of a porch and a doormat. The primary function of genkan is for the removal of shoes before entering the main part of the house or building.
-sama: All members of the Amawaka clan adress to Haru by using the honorific title "sama", since she's supposed to become the new head of the family.
Mendoukusai: it means kinda "what a pain!" in japanese.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
I know this first chapter was basically unreadable! I'm not so good with english and i struggle a lot at writing difficult sentences ehehe...
In the next chapter i promise i will explain more things about the twins bodyguards (like, their look and lifestyle) and maybe also about Shimon and Mayura, that i didn't mention too much here. Anyway stay tuned!