He ran to the doors of the TARDIS, pulling both doors open at the same time. He posed like that, with his arms flung straight out to the sides and staring outside, until I walked over and tapped him on the shoulder.
"Doctor?" I asked, peering around his thin frame, "where are we?" We had landed on the top of a hill overlooking a valley. It was filled with tents, white and black stripes seeming to carry stars of their own as they sparkled in the night. There was a large crowd in front of the gates, apparently looking at a clock. I pushed past the Doctor slowly, stepping outside dazed by the stripes. They were calling me, as if they held something magical on the other side of the black iron fencing.
"Le Cirque des Rêves," the Doctor said, stepping up behind me and speaking with the pride of a father talking about his son. "The Circus of Dreams. The year is 1888, or somewhere around there, I believe. Welcome to the most enchanting place in the entire universe! But first, we need to change." He grabbed my hand and pulled me back into the box, away from the magic drawing me to the tents. "There's something in your room for you," the Doctor told me as he walked in the opposite direction, towards his own closet. I found a pile of black fabric waiting for me in my room, along with shoes and a red scarf.
I slipped the dress on, the black silk floating over me from my shoulders. It was quite a simple dress, and casual, but as I wrapped a bright red scarf around my neck, it took the dress to an entirely new level. It reminded me of the tents just down the hill. As I walked back into the main console room, I gasped. The Doctor was dressed in a stunning black tuxedo, his signature red bow tie replaced with a crisp white one and a top hat sitting on his mop of hair. He held a black walking stick in his hand was flung over one shoulder, and he was leaning against the TARDIS door in a way I found strangely attractive.
"You look lovely," he said, spinning the walking stick in his hand and eventually resting it on the ground. "Shall we go? We've only got all night." He tried to sound sarcastically formal, but in his eyes I saw an excited five year old who wanted me to have been ready yesterday.
"We shall," I replied, curtsying and extending my hand. He took it, wrapping his fingers around my own, and together we strode down the hill towards the mystery. The hill was steep, and we ran more than we actually strode.
When we had arrived at the main gate, I stared in awe at what the crowd had been looking at earlier. The clock was enormous, and somehow it felt like a dream. It was like living on a cloud. Walking up to the ticket booth, the woman smiled and waved me in.
"Tonight, rêveurs get in for free." I smiled, confused but glad that I didn't have to buy a ticket. I turned to take the Doctor's hand again, but I found him pulling money out of his pocket and handing it to the woman. She said something to him and he laughed, taking a deep black ticket from her and tipping his hat. He looked ecstatic as he strode over to me, slowly putting the ticket in his pocket and reaching for my hand. He wrapped his long fingers around mine and nearly dragged me to the black iron gate.
"Why did I get in for free?" I asked, pulling him to a halt. "Why did you pay and I didn't?" the Doctor turned, smiling and pointing to the red scarf around my neck.
"You're wearing that," he said happily. "It's a sign around here- the red against the black and white, it means you're a rêveur. That's what fans of the circus are called, it translates to dreamer from French." He glanced back at the tents behind us, obviously longing to reach them.
"That's what the woman at the ticket booth said," I told him. "Why aren't you wearing anything red?" The Doctor smiled again, but it was sadder this time.
"There's enough red on me already," he said, with an air of finality that told me there wasn't any more for him to say, though he never really answered my question. The Doctor took my hand again and finally pulled me through the gate.
My first impression of the inside of the Circus of Dreams was just that; a dream. Nearly every corner of the area around me was lit up, but I couldn't see anything that was creating all the lights. There were strings of white Christmas lights clinging to nearly everything, but even they weren't bright enough to make the circus feel like this. Looking up, I could see every single star twinkling in the sky. It was as if the circus was being lit by the stars themselves.
"Here," the Doctor said, pushing a cup and something wrapped in a napkin into my hands. I hadn't even noticed that he'd left. I could tell instantly that the cup was full of hot chocolate. The scent wafted up to my nose, even through all the commotion around me, and wrapped me in a deep warm blanket. I closed my eyes, letting myself get lost in the aroma. Eventually, I opened them again and turned my attention to the napkin. I set my cup on the white-chalked ground and unwrapped it. Inside sat a cinnamon roll, warm with icing still melted on the top.
"Mmm," I heard myself saying. "I love cinnamon rolls."
"No, these aren't cinnamon rolls yet," the Doctor said, hushing me. "They're called 'fantastically delicious cinnamon things' at the moment." I laughed, nodding my head as I took a bite. It was the most wonderful thing I'd ever eaten. I offered to share my food with the Doctor, and together we finished it off as we explored the circus.
I didn't notice until later that Le Cirque des Rêves is a great deal bigger on the inside. From our spot on the hill, I had only counted a couple of big tents. But inside, there were hundreds of tents of different sizes, as well as people performing in the streets and food venders. We passed many people pretending to be statues, standing as still as the white marble they appeared to be. One of them held a single red rose in her hand. Just the same, though there were people crowding every inch of the circus, everything was an extremely intimate experience. Every smell, noise, and sight left you forgetting that there were other people around you, smelling and hearing and seeing totally different things from you.
The Doctor suddenly stopped, spinning in a circle a few times looking confused and eventually entering the tent just to our right. Inside was a single dirt ring surrounded by seats. It looked like a completely normal circus ring that clowns in tiny cars would drive around in. Around half of the seats in the tent were taken, nearly everyone wearing a splash of red against a black and white costume. I was led to a seat near the back, and the Doctor folded himself into the chair next to me. Looking around, I could barely see the imprints of cursive covering the entirety of the inside walls.
An elbow nudged my side, and I realized there was a girl standing in the center of the ring. She, like most of the audience, was in a black and white dress. Hers, however, was more intricate. It cascaded down from her hips in waves, and came to a very fitted corset top. On her head was a black top hat. I looked to the Doctor and realized that his was nowhere to be seen. He only smiled. The girl in the center began her act without any introduction at all. She lifted the top hat from her head and turned it upside down, smiling at the audience softly. A single white dove suddenly flew from the hat, flying up to the very top of the tent and appearing to melt into the fabric. A spot of the cursive disappeared, instead turning to a series of interlaying circles in bright red against the white. Another dove emerged, following the same pattern and creating another splash of red circles. More and more followed suit, and in all I counted eleven. Eleven doves from a single top hat, magically melting into the fabric of the tent walls and covering them with circles.
She performed trick after trick, some leaving the audience breathless and others leaving them in shock. Though I was captivated by her every move, I didn't notice until she had disappeared that somehow during the show, her dress had changed from black and white to a deep crimson. When I turned to tell the Doctor, he was still staring at the circles on the walls.
The Doctor didn't say much as we exited the tent. We strolled, exploring some tents with signs next to the door and some without. The Doctor was a big fan of tents without signs. As we left a rather large tent with lion tamers inside, we passed a pair of children with bright red hair. They had gathered quite a crowd, and we poked through to the front to find tiny kittens jumping through hoops. One of them, the girl, smiled knowingly at the Doctor, while the boy looked like he was going to cry on the spot. I smiled politely and led us away from them.
"It's my turn to pick a tent," I said, looking around at what was closest to us. The Doctor laughed, pointing to a particularly large tent with a sign that read 'Acrobats' in large letters.
"There's an obvious one," he said. I rolled my eyes, noticing a small tent hidden in a shadow. I led the Doctor over to it, reading the sign next to the door. It told us to each take one and enter.
At the entrance to the tent, there was a bucket with a few dozen stones in it. I picked one up, rubbing my thumb over the perfectly smooth black finish. The Doctor picked one up as well, and with a deep breath he enclosed the stone on his fist. The stone matched his suit perfectly; a black tuxedo with a white vest and bow tie. We entered the tent, and were met with a bright white room with a shallow pool in the middle. I walked over to the edge of the pool and stared into it, smiling and slightly confused to find it filled with a million of the same black stones I held in my hand. My attention moved to my own stone as it began to get heavier. All at once, I was flooded with sadness. I felt every disappointment and fear I'd ever been or had float to the top of my memory. I squeezed my eyes shut, attempting to close out the memories, but they only came faster. All at once, they lifted, and I felt my fingers let my now heavier stone fall into the pond. Somehow, it floated to the bottom without so much as a single ripple in the water. My spirits instantly lifted, and smiling I turned to the Doctor.
Gasping, I realized he was crouched at the edge of the pool, his stone held to his forehead as tears streamed down his face. I wanted to comfort him, but my body wouldn't let me move as I stared at my dear friend sob. His top hat sat at his side, just about as sad and full of memories as he was. The Doctor cried for a long time, and in that time, I could nearly see the memories that he'd been forced to remember. Lost loved ones. A lost home of some kind, but I could tell it was very dear to him. My heart felt like it was being ripped out of my chest as it beat out of control. I collapsed, catching myself on him. As I put my hands on the Doctor's shoulders, my entire vision was filled with red. At first, the red was liquid, like blood. It was everywhere, and slowly it began to change into a burning sensation. I felt the breeze of being in the middle of a field of grass. But this field, too, was blood red. Suddenly, the crimson grass turned to flames. They licked and rolled over the nearly waist deep grass. It was a place filled with loss, and the deaths of everyone the Doctor had lost. A woman's voice filled my ears, and I could feel the Doctor's body jerked slightly as she spoke.
"Know this, Time Lord. You are not alone in the circus."
I was snapped out of my visions as the Doctor suddenly lurched forward, throwing his stone into the pool with a gut-wrenching sob. Unlike my own stone, his landed in the pool with a huge splash. I stood and the Doctor looked up at me, still sobbing with tears running down his face. I bent down, taking his hand in mine and helping him to his feet. The Doctor was over a foot taller than I was, and he smiled sadly as he kissed my forehead. When he drew back, I noticed that his once white bow tie was now red, like the blood and the burning field. His smile came easier now, and he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a hug.
"Thank you," he whispered, burying his face in my neck.