DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of our favourite characters. I do not own the concept of Mary Sue either. I do, however, own the little random plot thinger that you are about to suffer… MWAHAHAHA!!!
Marie Suzy walked through the woods of… of… Well, she wasn't quite sure, to be exact. It was somewhere in Middle-Earth, she knew that. She hoped it was Mirkwood.
Although, it was too open and nice to be Mirkwood, from the descriptions in The Hobbit. Maybe this was somewhere in the Shire? No, there were huge black mountains…. That must be Mordor…. Which means…
Marie Suzy was in Ithilien! No Legolas here, but maybe she was here at the same time as Frodo! Or maybe Faramir was here! Ithilien wasn't that big, only a few inches on her custom-framed map of Middle Earth. She should find someone soon!
She flipped her long, luxurious blonde hair out of her face, adding a sexy toss to her head as she did. She was the most beautiful creature in Middle Earth, much more gorgeous then that Elf Arwen, or even that little Rohirrim woman Eowyn. Marie Suzy was sure to land any handsome male that happened across her path. She had no doubts about her abilities.
She could smell campfire smoke. Sam's voice, snapping at something. The Hobbits are here! Oh Frodo, here I come!! She began to sing, softly. Her voice was like that of a nightingale, fairer that that of any Elf in Middle Earth. Any moment, I'm going to have a pair of big, gorgeous blue eyes staring at me, and…
Well, the eyes were big. And they were blue. But they weren't the ones Marie Suzy wanted. "Wait a minute, you're not Frodo!"
"PRECIOUS!!!" Smeagol/Gollum jumped for Marie Suzy, causing her to shriek and run for her life. "COME BACK, PRECIOUS!! WE NEEDS IT!!!"
"NOOOO, YOU FOUL CREATURE!! FRODO, RESCUE ME!!!"
Gollum chased Marie Suzy past the startled Ithilien Rangers and through the ranks of shocked Haradrim, barely missing being trampled by a spooked mumakil. "PRECIOUS! COME BACK, PRECIOUS!!!"
Up on the hill, hidden by the shrubbery, Frodo and Sam watched the whole episode with no small amount of bewilderment. Sam sighed. "I've never seen anything like that, Mr. Frodo! Wonder what my old Gaffer would say about that!"
Frodo's blue eyes focused on Marie Suzy. "I wonder if she was a servant of the Enemy… I suppose it does not bear too much bother. Where was that stew anyways?"
Marie Suzy and Gollum held off the battle for several minutes until one Haradrim finally got bored and ordered his mumakil to step on Marie Suzy. Gollum avoided the huge foot and fled, wailing, "Precious!! Why does it squish her, Sméagol? Why does it take away our love?" A Ranger fired a shot at Gollum but missed and hit a Harad soldier, starting the battle. Frodo and Sam finished the stew before Faramir captured them, much to the relief of their respective tummies.
And Marie Suzy met a nasty end at the foot of a Mumakil… or did she? Well, the Mary Sues are said to be immortal… mwahahahahahaha!!!
This was a random little 15 minute (ish) drabble that I thought of while writing my other story "Seriously? Why me?" just to get my irritation with chronic Mary Sue Syndrome off my mind.
And what, in fact, happened to Marie Suzy? That remains to be seen!! Mwahahaha!
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