Second Meetings

The year was 2009, and I remember distinctly what happened. I was at the grocery store when I ran into a guy I haven't seen in 15 years: the guy who went to the sixth grade dance with me, PJ Pete. He had gotten taller and gained weight since the last time I saw him, but his face, so sweet and innocent, was unmistakable. In his arms he held an infant, looking at him lovingly. The baby, who was probably his son, looked just like him except for his eyes which he presumably got from his mother.

PJ planted several kisses on the baby's cheek. He said to the child, "You are special. You are valuable. You are wonderful. You are handsome. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, my precious little boy." He didn't see me there. I noticed the gold band on his finger shining in the fluorescent lights.

"PJ Pete?" I asked. He looked up at me.

"Rose Deckenbloom?" he responded. He smiled. "How've you been doing?"

"Oh, you know, same old…" I said. "You?"

"It's been great," he said confidently and happily. I smiled at him. I could tell something had changed.

"So… you're still going by PJ?" I asked.

"Well, duh," he said. "It's not like I'd start going by 'Pete' or 'Junior' anytime soon!" He laughed boisterously. I was surprised.

"So, the baby…" I began.

"His name's Willie. He's six months old," he said. "He's my pride and joy, and it's my goal as a father to let him know that every day of his life."

"Can I hold him?" I asked.

"Sure," PJ responded, "Just be careful." He handed me the baby carefully.

I looked at the baby, so vulnerable, just as he had once been. But it seems that now he's gained some confidence. And has gotten happier.

"Now, about your wife…" I began.

"What about her?" PJ asked. "Oh! You want to meet her, don't you? Hold on, I'll go find her. I'll be right back." PJ took Willie back in his arms. I sighed.

Of course he's married. Of course he has a kid. And here I am still with nothing to show. He came back with a beautiful auburn-haired woman. The baby's eyes resembled hers. "Rose, this is my wife, Susan. Sue, this is Rose. She's an old friend from junior high."

"Good to meet you," Susan said in a friendly tone. This woman was willing to be straight with me; that I could tell. "So, Rose, did you ever date PJ?"

"I… yes," I said, "Once. We were both way too shy to make it last for more than one night though."

"Tell me about it!" Susan laughed. "You want to know what this big teddy bear said to me when I flirted with him?"

"Yes," I said.

" 'It is endemic of the current culture that those of large stature are overlooked, except by vultures, with no regard to the depth of their souls, the height of their passions, the beauty of their moments.'"

"You remembered that?" he asked. For a brief moment, his newfound confidence seemed to vanish. "It happened ten years ago!"

"Well, yeah," she said, "But it was a pretty great pickup line if I do say so myself."

"But you're the one who started flirting with me and asked me out," he said.

"That's adorable!" I had to announce. "Did she propose too?"

"No, not exactly… see, I was making an offhand comment to someone else that I planned to marry her, and she said yes then and there," PJ said. He started laughing and covered his face, continuing, "I didn't even think she was in the room."

"You know, Susan," I said, "PJ's always loved poetry. Especially the kind no one else was willing to. In sixth grade, he memorized my poem everyone else hated but he loved."

"I don't understand their terrible taste," PJ shrugged. "You two are both really good at poetry. I kind of suck."

"No, you don't, honey, and you promised you wouldn't berate yourself anymore," Susan said.

"Yeah, you're right," PJ said, "I should focus all my self-esteem-shifting language on boosting Willie's."

Susan grabbed Willie from PJ and said, "We should probably go, sugar ball."

"Oh, yeah," he responded. "It was good seeing you again, Rose." He gave me a hug. The piles of padding made the hug soft and gentle, though it would have felt such anyway even if he was a walking stick or beefcake, due to his tender touch. This was Susan's life. And it would be Willie's. But it would never be mine. I'd missed my chance years ago. He let go, gave me a smile, and walked away.

Truly nice, sweet, generous, honest, completely straightforward guys, with no ulterior motives, who are nurturing, who are caring, who are empathetic, don't grow on trees. Most of them are pressured into behaving in a more masculine manner. Others don't feel they fit in and kill themselves. The ones who are left are often gay or turn out to actually be women. And the ones who aren't are usually married by the time you find them.

And it's my fault. I could have had him. He could've been mine before Susan got there, but it was too late to change that now. I'm happy for him; I really am. He's far more confident and happier than he was at eleven, or at twelve. At thirteen he moved away, and I never saw him again until this day. Susan seems like a wonderful woman. She's beautiful, she's nice, she seems to be pretty smart, and she's upfront. She has my blessings.

And their son… I know PJ will be a wonderful father. He'll try so hard that he can't possibly fail. The only thing that could possibly go wrong is that Willie will start taking him for granted. Susan will probably be an excellent mother too. I'm not bitter or angry that PJ is married with a kid. I just wish I would have had the guts to reel him in when I had the chance. I know this is a cliché, but he really does seem to be, out of all the fish in the sea, the one that got away.