(Ok, gather around little kids, cause today I'm gonna tell you about the time my & others Team Skull OCs trash a buffet in a story I like to call)
Team skull accidentally trash a buffet.
It was a regular rainy day in Po Town, with rain pouring down with the force of a jackhammer. Scarf Grunt was doing what she does normally, sitting down in the common room whilst knitting some scarfs for the new grunts. The room looked like a dodgy alleyway made into a house; there was graffiti all over the place, in an array of colors ranging from red to green which read things like 'TEAM SKULL FO LIFE' and 'Don't do school, stay in drugs!', along with some tattered couches, colorfully decorated with soda, food stains and tears. Scarf was humming to herself softly, as she knitted the scarf she was working on with the skill akin to a granny, making sure it was the best one there ever was.
All of a sudden, there was a hard thud of a foot making contact with a worn out unhinged door. The door instantly fell onto the floor, making a sound as loud as a gunshot. Scarf casually looked up to see a fellow grunt known as Blair, holding another by the arm, entering the room, bringing the smell of rotten food with her. Blair had long, brown, unkempt, hair, along with the normal team skull outfit. The one she was holding by the arm looked a bit younger than the rest & had short, blonde, shaggy hair, a top hat with the team skull logo on it, and a red bowtie. He seemed to be visibly nervous.
"Yo, Blair." Scarf said as she scratched her head.
"First of all, it's Fart from now on," She responded in her naturally loud voice, as Scarf quietly muttered 'sure', "And second of all, New fancy place called La Vipélierre. Has a buffet. Free god-tier trash. Shit for you and Mr. Chaplin over here to eat too. Come."
Scarf raised an eyebrow.
"But I thought that it was on the other side of Ula'ula Island?"
"Yah, but I found something in the dump yesterday whilst I was dicking around with my little trubbishes."
"Hm? What is it?"
Blair, or Fart as she started to be known as (after a prank went unfortunately wrong), grinned a smile that could only be seen as a mix of excitement and mischievousness. Scarf could only think of what was to come next.
Fart lead Scarf and Brit, passing the graffitied walls of Po Town. As they walked past, they saw their fellow grunts and friends, such as Flutter Grunt, Def Grunt, and Dreamy Grunt.
"Feast your eyes upon," She paused for dramatic effect. "The Gruntmobile!"
If life had a soundtrack, there would be a rusty and terribly tuned trumpet playing 'Dun da daaaa!'
There was a rusty, red, two-wheel drive Chevy, which had been obviously been shoddily spray painted fully black, along with some skulls drawn on it with white Crayola crayons or pens, and also in whiteout. The wheels were worn and lopsided; one wheel was the size of a tricycle's and the other wheel the size of a normal car's. The seats were almost as colorful as the couches, however, they also had suspicious red stains that Fart insisted was 'wine' and not something more... grim.
Scarf sighed. "How do you know it's even gonna work?"
Fart smiled. "Oh, I've been working on this for weeks! I told Brit here about it and he got his
shinx to help him look for the engine parts."
As she said the word Brit, Fart pointed at the grunt with the top hat.
"Well, did he at least decide to help?" Scarf inquired.
"Yes I did, Madam. I was actually with Fart whilst she was scavenging here for, as she calls it, 'the good shit'." Brit answered in a posh British accent. "I thought participating in a group activity would help me start to fit into team skull-"
Fart cut over him. "And I know it's not gonna go 'boom' because I drove it around the field, with Nanu watching me!" She added the last bit to try and make the car seem less likely to explode. It didn't.
"Well, let's go! It's gonna open any time now!" Fart quickly grabbed Scarf by the arm and walked her, and Brit, over to the Gruntmobile.
It drove worse than Scarf thought it would, but hey, it didn't explode. The Gruntmobile was swerving all over the place, wobbling like jelly. Brit was panicking about it flipping over quite loudly, and Scarf was flat out shrieking. Fart could be heard maniacally laughing like she brought a Frankenstein-esque monster to life.
"BLOODY HELL! WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR FUCKING LICENSE!" Brit shouted from the back, with fear shaking his voice.
Fart seized her laughter and looked him dead in the eyes. "I never did!"
The trip there didn't exactly go to plan.
Halfway through their destination, they had to stop for a bit. Brit was puking into the nearby bush like there was no tomorrow, and Scarf was breathing into a paper bag. Fart turned to them with a broad grin.
"So, what do you guys think?"
Brit responded with puking up the malasada he ate the previous day, and Scarf responded with a slight whimper.
They waited for Brit to finish before they drove again in that metal death machine. After he finally puked up the last of everything in his gut, he stumbled back to the car, muttering "Bloody travel sickness."
Scarf patted him on the back. "You gonna be ok, dude?"
He sighed. "I certainly hope so."
After they reached the main road, Fart thankfully decided to slow down, which calmed Scarf and Brit down a lot.
"And by the way," Fart shouted to be heard over the wind hitting their faces, "I sent a group message to a bunch of grunts to come to La Vipélierre's Buffet with us!"
They reached their stop and hopped out the Gruntmobile. Brit looked a bit pale but assured them he wasn't going to puke again, mostly because of the lack of food in his stomach. As they looked around, they saw 20 or so fellow grunts standing around. Some were chatting, others were dancing to the beat blasting from the boombox one grunt was holding, some were on their phones, and some were playing with their pokemon. There even was one scribbling bad words such as 'poopie' on the wall with whiteout.
"WHADDUP YALL!" Fart shouted out to gather their attention. "The buffet's doors are opening up soon! Remember, be respectful to the staff, everything in the trash cans is mine, make sure to not trigger anyone's allergies, and don't touch the fried wimpod. Oh, and don't too eat much, or you'll puke! Let's go!"
The second the waiter turned the closed sign over to its open side, the army of grunts charged towards the door like a herd of angry tauri, whilst the one with the boombox changed the song to something with a lot of bass. One of the grunt in front kicked the door open and shouted out "EY YO WHERE'S THE FUCKIN BUFFET, MY GOOD MAN." Another ran straight over to the roast tepig and started wolfing it down like he hadn't eaten for a year. Fart found the nearest bin & started rummaging through it, eating anything that was once food. Brit just sat on the chair drinking the entire stock of tea. Everyone else was gorging on the buffet, whilst shouting out to each other things like "YO THE VANILLUXE IS FUCKIN DELICIOUS" and "THE MOOMOO MILK IS BETTER THAN THE SHIT IN THE POKECENTER".
Some grunt who forgot about the last rule ate too much and puked into one of the trash cans, which so happened to be the one Fart was moving onto. At first, she seemed a bit upset. She then shrugged and proceeded to eat out of it anyway, to Scarf and Brit's dismay.
"Fart, What the hell!? You're gonna get a disease from that!" Scarf exclaimed.
"Yah, but I ain't one to waste quality food!" Fart retorted, with a mouth full of trash. "If anything, the bits of meat give me more protein!"
Scarf just shook her head and resumed to scarfing down on some budew sprouts.
It took them about a couple of hours to clear through three-quarters of it, which was pretty impressive due to the amount of food there was. The grunt who was drinking all of the moomoo milk took several minutes to recover from the stomach ache and left an unfortunate job for the janitors in the bathroom. Brit had exhausted the place's tea and scone stock, and when asked about why he didn't eat anything else, he shrugged and responded with "I'm a slut for tea." Fart had polished off all the trash. Scarf was just watching everyone, making sure they didn't hurt themselves or each other.
"E-excuse me, miss?" One nervous employee asked Scarf.
"Yah, what's up?" She said, whilst paying more attention to the grunt which was holding a meat knife.
"I-im afraid you and your friends have to leave, they're scaring away the other customers, and they haven't ordered anything."
"Aight." Scarf then bellowed, "YO GUYS WE'RE LEAVING! WE'VE BEEN KICKED OUT!"
With a bit of disappointed muttering and quite a few groans from those who ate too much, they trudged out to their forms of transport. Scarf, for one, was a tiny bit thankful; one person can keep an eye on so many grunts.
Fart, Scarf, and Brit met up near the Gruntmobile and watched the sunset. "So," Brit yawned, "Today was utterly exhausting."
"Yeah," Scarf responded, "I just wanna go to Po Town."
"I would disagree, but my little trubbishes are probably missing their momma by now. We should get going."
"Yes, I also have to wash my clothes after that… Drive..." Brit responded.
The Gruntmobile drove off as it kicked up a cloud of dust and swerved off into the sunset.
(Thanks to Flutter and Dreamy for helping me find spelling mistakes!)
(The Oc Fart/Blaire belong to Starr, Scarf to Amber, and Brit to me!)