"Oh I see, so what guidance did you find in those, 'swaying hips' hmm?"
"No no no! I wasn't looking at...you know her...hind quarters."
"Certainly."
"I gazed...glanced in that direction, maybe...but I wasn't staring. Or Really seeing anything even.
"Of Course."
"I hate you. You're a bad person."
Wynne/Alistair banter, and inspiration to this fic :)
A/N this particular warden has no specified origin. She's only known as 'Warden', or Isla. No surnames here! Interpret her as you wish.
Warning! Non lineal. Fluffy and somewhat pointless. My First Dragon Age Fic. Enjoy!
Swaying Hips
"Alistair?"
"Yes Isla?"
"Are you aware that your hand is on my..." she paused, then resorted to his own twee phrase, "...hind quarters?"
"Why yes it is." For indeed it was.
"Do you have any intention to remove it?"
"ye...ahhh...no"
"Fair enough.
Isla stared at the canvas roof of her tent.
Alistair's snores were only interrupted by the gentle 'plinking' of rain drops.
Plink. Plink. Plink.
Bloooorrrt!
Plink. Plink. Plink. Not the most romantic sounds to hear after losing one's 'purity'.
Alistair let out a soft 'mmph' as he shifted position.
She had to work hard to prevent a small giggle. Not twenty minutes ago had Alistair been making a very different noise.
But she could still hear his tender words spoken into her ear.
I love you.
"Here, Look at this. Do you know what this is?"
Isla stared at him.
That's a rose... she thought to herself. She looked at him. His eyes were wide and earnest. Oh my...he's not joking...
"Err...Your new weapon of choice?"
He laughed.
"Yes, that's right! Watch as I thrash our enemies with the mighty power of floral arrangements! Feel my thorns, darkspawn! I will overpower you with my rosy scent! Gah! I have been wounded by the arch-petal!"
Isla raised her eyebrows.
"Or..." added Alistair, "it could just be a rose. I know that's a pretty dull comparison."
"Not necessarily" shrugged Isla.
His heart did a little back flip.
"I picked it in Lothering. I remember thinking 'How can something so beautiful be in a place with so much despair?'...I probably should have left it alone...but I couldn't the darkspawn would come and their taint would destroy it..."
Isla nodded approvingly.
"But...what do you intend to do with it?" She already knew.
"I thought I might...give it to you...in many ways I feel the same way about you."
She blinked. Was he leaning forwards? He was! Oh noooo...
But another little part of her urged her forwards. Oh yesss...
"Isla! It's your turn to cook tonight! Hurry up!"
Isla quickly turned her head away from him.
"Thank you" She said, taking the rose and smiling.
"Isla? Is that you?"
Isla-sat in the palace kitchens- stared at the apple in her hand. Her eyes fell on the small pile of half eaten apples on the table. Several more apple cores lay on the floor. In short; she had eaten a lot of apples.
"Erm..." she swallowed a chunk of apple flesh "Just a second!" She deftly kicked most of the apples into a rubbish pail, and any that didn't fit in that went under the table.
I am just a normal person eating one apple. Just One. She thought, then... I could Really go for some cheese right now. No, strawberries! Ooh strawberries with cheese...focus!
"Isla?" Wynne entered the room. Isla waved a hand by way of greeting, chewing thoughtfully.
Wynne smiled
"I just came for some apples"
Isla choked.
"I...think we've ran out"
"Really? Because I distinctly remember buying a fresh bushel the other day," smirked Wynne.
"Err, I...err..."
"Isla, have you been having odd...cravings?"
"All Right. I guess I really don't know how to ask you this"
Isla cocked her head on one side, bearing such a resemblance to Rabbit the Mabari that Alistair couldn't help but smile weakly.
"Are you sweating?"
Shit...
"No...I mean yes...I mean...I'm a little nervous...not that this is anything bad or frightening or well...yes..."
Isla raised her eyebrows.
He took a deep breath. No sense panicking about it now.
Oh Maker...
"How can I put this? You'd think It'd be easy, but every time I'm around you I feel as if my heads about to explode and I can't think straight."
Isla's eyebrows disappeared under her fringe.
"Really? Thanks a lot"
Alistair knuckled his forehead.
"No I don't mean it like that! Ugh! Ok Let me start over"
Honestly, this is the sort of thing they should teach at school.
Isla listened to him stutter over his words, as he struggled to find the right thing to say, to do.
The way he was looking at her, with what could only be described as...longing, both unnerved and fascinated her. She'd never seen anyone look at her like that.
And then...
"I...want to spend the night with you"
She spluttered.
"You Want To..."
"Well...only if...y'know...you want to... I mean...I'm willing if you are..."
She blinked.
"Defiantly".
"Quiet, she's asleep."
"Who? Isla? Or Junior here?"
Alistair Laughed.
"Both it would seem."
Leliana giggled and looked into the crib.
"Aww look, she's got your nose!"
"My Nose? Of all the similar features to choose from, you pick her nose!"
"Well it is pretty similar. Ok Fine. She's got your...eyes. Happy?"
Alistair gazed at the baby.
"Fair point."
Plink. Plink. Plink.
Bloooorrrt!
"Alistair, as smitten as I am, if you don't shut up I will gut you where you lie."
"I'm hearing threats, love, but I'm not seeing any action."
The innuendo behind the comment was hard to ignore.
She lay back on the bedroll.
"Well it would seem a bad way to end the evening" She said as she gently kissed him.