She stared at the grave as she sat in front of it, not moving or doing a single thing for hours. She didn't even cry. Matsuda had finally told her after a year, Light was dead. Misa assumed he had just cut off all contact with her, as the task force told her he was simply still trying to capture Kira. But, all was finally revealed. Did he have a funeral? She didn't even know. She should have been there. She was his fiancé after all.
Misa got on the first train, going nowhere in particular. Just… away. It was February 14th, Valentines day. The day for lovers. But she didn't have a lover anymore. Not only was Light missing, she felt like she was missing something else too. The past few years seemed like such a blur. She could barely remember Light asking her to move in with her, something she thought she would remember forever.
She had nothing anymore. She was sick of being alone. She spent too many nights in bed crying. Too many days without make-up on. Too many days without the sun. It was going to end now. She didn't want to go on anymore. She wanted to escape. Surely, Misa would go to heaven. She never did anything bad, did she? Not that she could remember, anyway.
The train was empty. So empty she could probably kill herself right here and wouldn't be found for several hours. Not that she would want to kill herself on a train; that seemed so… dirty. Undignified. Not the way Misa would like to go.
The train came to a halt and she cautiously stepped over the gap, careful not to trip in her 6 inch heels. She was dressed in black head to toe, the way a widow should be. She was even wearing a black wig. Not her short one, though, a very long one. This way, nobody would recognize the famous Misa-Misa. Although she might as well of dyed it, after what is going to happen today, it wouldn't matter.
She climbed the stairs to freedom, never once looking back. She thinks of her parents, what would they think of me now? They'd be disappointed… Disappointed for giving up. But what else could she do? The day they died was the day she also died. But Light really was her… light. He bought her back to life. Misa knew he never really loved her, but she liked listening to the lies. She felt safe with him. And she really did love him. When that came crumbling down, she had nothing. She was a parentless widow, with friends that only loved her for her fame and fortune.
She sat on the edge for what seemed like eternity; looking at all the little people below, legs dangling. The children with their parents, the girls clinging to their boyfriends. That was her once. But when those dreams were shattered, so was Misa's heart. Her joy. Her sanity. Everything was beyond repair. Scattered into tiny shards that were piercing through her body.
She thought of happier times. Times spent in ice cream parlors with her parents, back when she didn't care for being thin. Shrugging off her mum whenever she put her hair in pigtails. That was why she wore her hair like that most days now, in her memory. Messing around with her dads camera, taking silly photos of herself, never once thinking they could lead her to a career one day.
Misa heard footsteps. She didn't turn. She didn't care who saw her, after all. She was just a girl pushed to the edge. That was all. Nobody special. Nobody worth caring for. Nobody worth… stopping. Right? Misa felt a hand on her shoulder and she didn't even flinch. He then sat next to her, and she didn't even look at him.
"Misa?"