Hello all! I'm so sorry I have not continued with Regretful Choices for a while now, but I have some major writer's block and I can't get rid of it. I've written so many drafts for part 13, but none are coming out write. I had to write something though. Here is a fanfic I never even thought of writing, but I wanted to try it. I didn't put as much romance in as I wanted too, but please read and tell me what you think. I'll probably end up rewriting it if you all want me too. It's a K/J. Yes, I am actually writing a K/J. Me, who doesn't even like the couple(although I am beginning to now as you can see with the fic). I just wanted to try it out.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. If I did, I wouldn't spend my time wishing I did, I'd be writing better stories than this and having them published^-^. Enjoy!
I like you Neal. I like you Neal. I like you Neal.
Keladry of Mindelan went over in her head what she was going to tell Neal. Her palms began to get sweaty as she walked down the hall towards his room. They'd known each other for a while now and she'd liked him for a while now, so why not tell him now? She paused outside of his door, fist frozen above it. Be calm, she thought, this isn't as bad as anything else you've ever done before. Her fist came down upon the door and the sound reverberated in her ears. A second before the door opened, Kel remembered to put on her Yamani face. She plastered a smile on her face."Hello, Neal."
"Kel! Hello, what are you doing here? Come in." Neal stood back to let her in. "Oh, since your here, can you help me a math problem? I've been going over it for a while now and I just can't solve it."
"Uh, yes, I can do that, but first I wanted to talk to you about something." Kel sat down in the desk chair; Neal sat on the bed.
"Sure. What's going on?" Neal smiled at her.
Kel, not being able to look at the smile, looked at the floor. "Well, uh, well..." Kel decided to look Neal in the eyes. "Neal, we've know each other for a while now. It's been six years since we started as pages together and I think we've gotten to know each other pretty well. Neal, I'm going to get to the point, I like you, a lot. Not just as friends but more. I've felt this way for a long time and I couldn't hold it in anymore, I had to tell." She continued on quickly. "I'm not stupid, I know we couldn't do anything now, but we've got two more years left until we become knights. Then we could do what we wanted. I'm not talking about marriage, even I'm not ready for that yet..." Kel stopped when she realized she had gotten to the point of babbling and looked closer at Neal. He hadn't said anything or moved since she had announced her feelings. Maybe I was a little too abrupt, she thought. "Neal?" She asked tentatively.
He looked up at the floor he had been staring at into Kel's eyes. "Huh, Kel, that was unexpected." His voice was quiet. "Um, I don't really know how to say this, but...well, Kel, I like you. I really do, a lot, but not the way you like me. We're friends Kel, I never wanted to be anything more. I'm sorry if I've been giving the wrong impression, I've never meant to lead you on. I don't really know what else to say." The room fell into silence. "Kel, say something please."
Kel felt herself blush. "Well, that's okay Neal." She gave him her best fake smile. All she wanted to do right now was get out of the room and fast. "Um, I just wanted to tell you, I didn't really know what I was expecting."
"We're still friends, right? This won't affect anything, will it?"
"No, no, of course not." Kel said quickly turning to the door. "I just remembered something I have to do, I've got to go now." She felt tears coming to her eyes, she had to leave now.
'Kel, I'm sorry' was the last she heard as she shut the door behind her and took off down the hall as far a way from the room as possible. She ran outside and found an isolated alcove in the castle gardens. Sitting down, she began to cry. She hated crying about a petty thing like this, she didn't know why it hurt so much. Neal liked her only as a friend and that was that. She was embarrassed and she had no idea how she was going to face him ever again. Hopefully, he wouldn't tell anyone what she had said, the would only embarrass her more. Kel sat up straight on the bench and wiped her, what she knew were now, red eyes. She heard footsteps coming her way and stop. She turned around on the bench, slowly, to see Joren standing there leaning on a hedge.
"What do you want?" She said. It was too late, he had seen and heard her crying.
"What are you crying for?" He asked smiling.
"Shut up. Just go a way and leave me alone." Kel turned her back to him, but it didn't get rid of him. She heard him coming up behind her and sitting next to her on the bench.
"Why are you crying over Neal? That wimps not worth crying over. Gonna go home now to your family?"
"Why were you snooping? And no I'm not going home. I'm staying here and I'm going to get my knighthood. I'm tired of you trying to get rid of me all the time. Now go a way!" With that, Kel pushed Joren off of the bench and turned to run, but tripped when a hand grabbed hold of her foot. Kel gasped in pain as her head hit the edge of the bench. Protecting the quickly forming bruise, she curled up on the ground, preparing herself for more a beating. She wasn't in the mood nor did she have the energy to fight back, but none came. She slowly, wincing from the pain in her head, looked under her arm at Joren who she found was staring back.
"What? Can go through with it?!" She asked, tauntingly. "Not in the mood? Or are we just a little bit tired from beating up someone yesterday?"
"Whoa, a little hostile here aren't we?" Joren said as he got up, brushing himself off. He looked down at Kel and offered her a hand. Kel just continued to glare at him, ignoring what he offered.
Joren shrugged. "Okay, suit yourself. Sorry about that. Didn't mean to make you fall. I just didn't want you to go." He said nonchalantly, studying a scrape on his hand.
Kel was shocked at what she heard. Joren of Stonemountain was apologizing...and to her of all people. "What do you want?" She asked.
"Why would I want something?!" He said angrily. "Fine, I come after you, trying to be nice and helpful. What do I get back? Hostility, anger, fine, I'm going. Have a nice life." Joren walked off, leaving Kel in her misery and confusion. What had just happened here? Joren actually wanting to help? No, she thought to herself. He was a jerk to her. He didn't want to help her. He was being...Joren. Still thinking, she got up and groaned as the pain in her head became worse. She'd have to see a healer about the bump on her head. Walking around the corner of the hedge, she jumped, almost screaming. Joren was standing almost right in front of her. He had never left.
Her anger returned. "What?! Why didn't you leave? Why are you still here? Go a way and leave me alone."
He smiled at her. "Did I scare you? Ah, I'm sorry, the little girl can't handle it?"
"Shut up." She said, gaining her composure. She wasn't about to let him see how he bugged her. "Get out of my way."
"Why?" He asked not budging. "What's back at the castle that you need to get to so much? You little lover boy doesn't want you. Most of your friends are gone with their knight-masters. Huh? Tell me. You have no classes to go to today." He continued to stand in her way waiting for an answer. The only answer she gave was to kick him.
"You're a jerk and I hate you. Leave me alone! No get out of my way." She pushed Joren aside and stalked past him, but was caught again, this time with a hand around the wrist. Joren pulled her back into his arms and kissed her hard on the mouth. Kel was caught by great surprise and began to struggle in his strong arms, but to no avail. She couldn't move as Joren continued to kiss her. She began to panic as Joren made the kiss more passionate. Kel couldn't believe that Joren was kissing her. She never thought that her first kiss would be from one of her enemies. As the kiss went on, Joren still didn't let go, but Kel began to feel feelings she had never felt before. An exciting, exhilarating shock ran through her and she found herself answering the kiss, matching the passion that came from the other person. She couldn't help herself, she found herself needing more, but the kiss ended suddenly, leaving Kel wanting more. She stood there, glad that Joren's arms were holding her up or else she would have fallen down. Both breathing hard, Joren still didn't let go. Kel slowly opened her eyes and found Joren's looking back into hers.
"Why..."Kel asked, trying to regain her breath, "Did you do that?"
"Cause I felt like it." That was the only answer she got.
The two continued to stare at each other. Kel was clueless as to why she was feeling the way she was. She felt giddy all of the sudden...she wanted him to kiss her again, but for some unknown reason, she was the first to pull apart. She felt confused all of the sudden. Her feelings were all mixed up and she had to work them out. Sitting down she put her head on her knees.
"Sorry." Joren said sliding down to sit beside her. "Didn't mean for it to go that far."
"Why did you do that?" Kel asked again.
"I don't know," Joren shrugged, "I guess, I've just always wanted to do that."
Kel paused. "Always wanted to do that?"
"Well, not always. Just recently. Every time I've looked at you these past two years, I've always felt like I just wanted to kiss you and I finally did. It wasn't that bad either." He patted her on the knee. Kel still couldn't believe.
"But, I thought you hated me. You always showed it enough."
"Yeah, I did hate you, but that was in the beginning. You were a girl who wanted to be a knight. I felt like you had been intruding on my territory and I wanted you out, but as the years went on, it started to change. You were still here, so I started to bug you, test you, in a way. See if you were strong enough; try to find your weak spots and you still stayed. I actually began to respect you." He said surprisingly.
Kel snorted. "Gee, thanks."
"you're welcome. I always knew you liked Neal, and you know what? That made me a little a jealous. I hated feeling that way, but you know what? When I overheard you conversation with Neal today, I actually felt a little hope. Like I would have a chance, so I followed you and we fought, I bugged you, we yelled; it was fun. Then I kissed you. That was fun too." Joren looked at Kel who blushed. He snickered. "You're blushing."
"Shut up." She pushed at Joren.
"No." Joren pushed back. "Now what about you?"
"What about me what?"
"How do you feel? About me? Not that I care." He finished.
"Well...before the kiss...I felt, mad. During the kiss, I felt something. I don't know what, but something was there. I can't say if I like you or not, but something was definitely there, I felt it."
Joren was quiet for a while. "I thought that maybe I was the only one who felt something."
"No, no, something was there."
"Want to explore that 'feeling' more? You know, just to make sure that that 'something' is still there?"
"You just want an excuse to kiss again." She said pushing him playfully.
"Yeah, well, fine. I'll go then." Joren was about to get up, but Kel pulled him down into a kiss. Both sat on the ground with arms around one another, in a sweet, long kiss.
Yes, I know, ended abruptly, huh? Well, sorry about that. *wails* I can't even end my stories right, anymore! Stupid writer's block*begins to hit head against the wall* Grr. I wish it would go a way. I hope you like it. I know, not the best K/J fic ever written, but it's my first and I plan on writing more and making them even better. Yea! You know? I'm not set on any certain character for Kel. I could probably go with anyone now at this moment. *opens her lawn chair and sits, waiting for Squire to come out.*