Author's Note: Yea, I know the narrator was supposed to be Maximum Ride. So, I switched it to Noel. I tried to recreate Max's personality, but sorry if I just make her sound like a total - excuse my French - bitch. Please let me know if you find the name Max/Maximum Ride in there so that I can save myself a little humiliation ;)

Chapter #1 - Sir Sparkles

"So… wait a minute," I said blankly, bewildered as I glanced at the guy that stood in front of me. He was kinda cute, I guess: bronze hair; soft, butterscotch eyes, and fair, sparkling skin. Yes. It freaking sparkled.

I'd been flying over the dense forests of Washington – yes, flying – and out of nowhere, I saw a sort of flickering, shimmering dot below me, flashing through the trees at warp speed. So of course I got curious and followed it. When it stopped in a clearing, the thing turned out to be this guy whose skin was screaming rainbows and ponies in the sun. That's not typical, really. So I'd found a place to land, made myself as normal as possible, and approached. Turned out this guy is a complete dip —

"You're saying you are… a vampire…?" Wasn't much of one, I'd say. I was a bit startled, yea, sure. But vampires aren't supposed to sparkle. I mean, hell, I have wings, and I seem more mystical. But I'm no angel – it's scientific matters. I'll explain later.

The guy nodded, his jaw locked. "Ellie, I can't be s—"

"Hold up," I said, raising my hands in the air. "First off, Edmund… Edwin…

"—Edward—"

"Yea, 'mkay. Edward. I didn't tell you my name, and to you, sir, it's Noel-the-awesomer-than-YOU. So who the hell are you, and what's your business in Washington?"

Edward seemed to put some deep thought into this for some odd reason. "I can read minds," he muttered under his breath, glancing at me harshly. "And, again, my name is Edward Cullen."

I could tell he was getting irate towards me, and I felt a corner of my lips twitch upward in a snicker.

This guy's fun, I thought, feeling blasé. All of a sudden, he looked like he was gonna punch me in the face, and it was actually kind of daunting. I blinked, and my little grin vanished. His answer had only just now decided to sink its self into my brain. He read minds. Which meant he probably knows about me and who I am… about the School down in California and the whitecoats there.

Edward grinned as if in reaction to that thought, tapping his temple with a finger. "Now I do."

Okay, that was creepy.

I folded my arms. This 'vampire' guy was weird, and by default, I wanted to know more about him. Trying to be all secretive like he was, never really works out to well around Noel the Awesomer Than You. I have to take care of myself, and I find that being furtive gets very useful at times. And with that wonderful skill, I also know how to get answers out of people. Most of the time.

I stepped forward and poked his bare chest. "Okay… you read minds. Are there others like you? What are their names? Why are you here?" Edward just stared at me like I was an idiot. But I knew that was all it took; he seemed to understand that I wasn't going to leave without a full story. I couldn't blame 'm.

Looking frustrated and reluctant, he answered. "I live in a coven of eight. Names are not your business. We're here because we live here. In secret." He leaned closer and muttered portentously, "Emphasis on the 'secret.'"

"Yea, okay, Sir Sparkles, you already know enough about me. But we're not even yet. I want to know that you're not just some genetically birthed freak like me. Are you—" My remaining breath escaped my lips in a rush and I was suddenly suspended in mid air.

Edward's hand had flashed to my throat too fast to leave me time to react. "I have nothing to do with your School, and I am not a mutated freak. I feed off of the very life of living creatures to keep alive. I am a damned monster, why aren't you afraid?" His voice was an utter hiss, and I felt an involuntary shudder run down my spine. Yet… still, I felt like laughing my guts out.

"Chill," I wheezed, my fingers violently trying to pry his icy fingers off of my neck.

He dropped me to the ground and turned away from me, rubbing his temples.

"…Why, aren't you just full of surprises? I just thought vampires would be more… you know…"

"Dangerous?"

"I guess," I muttered, rubbing my throat uncomfortably.

"You don't know anything about vampires." It was almost a threat, the way he spat it at me.

"'Kay-'kay," I agreed, suddenly not wanting to argue. I was quiet for a moment, looking around at the sunny meadow we stood in, babbling about. It was almost a perfect circle; yellow, white, and purple flowers dotted the grass here and there, and down the center of it all ran a tiny stream of water that glittered with sunlight, just as much as Edward's skin.

I saw him fold his arms across his twinkling rainbow chest, muscles rippling beneath the weird cold flesh. Official, I thought. I found a new Number One for my weird-stuff list.

"Do you mind?" Grumbled Sir Sparkles.

I shrugged and put my hands on my hips. "You're the one poking through my head."

"Well your thoughts are as loud as your mouth," he retorted. I rolled my eyes.

"You're a bit uptight, what's got your panties in a bunch?"

Edwardian was quiet for a second.

Aha. Jack pot.

But to my surprise, he came straight out with it, as if trying to redeem his civility. "The coven has received two death notes in the past month… from an organization called… Hellsing," explained Edward

Edward pulled a folded piece of parchment from his jeans pocket. Unfolding it, he handed it to me. Golly gee, this guy just wants to share all his problems with me. Maybe I shouldn't have asked.

I took the parchment and glossed over the elegant script. Little bits of the letter immediately caught my eye. For example: "I have received word of human slaughter in your area."

Even better: "I advise you to reap order of your little coven, or I'll personally have an agent take care of it."

It was signed, " – Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing." Wow. Long name.

I almost laughed at the whole thing.

But then I realized – human slaughter. How many men and women and children actually die because of these vampire freaks? This was possibly worse than the School with it's experiments and all? Was that possible?

Edward broke in just then.

"You finally realized that vampires are a serious matter? Good for you." I felt him lean in over my shoulder to look at the parchment for maybe the fiftieth time. I nearly shuddered when I realized how close he was to my neck, but he seemed to ignore that fact. "It states that there has been enough killings for authorities to pitch in. But this organization – Hellsing – is something I, or any of my allies, have never heard of." I barely heard this, for I was too busy at that moment, imagining the feeling of fangs ripping through my flesh and veins. I really did shudder right then.

Edward suddenly seemed strained and he took a step back. If that was his reaction to my thought, then it was a strange one. I just shrugged and shook it off, glad he was at a safe distance. I never thought vampires would actually seem so threatening – considering that only a few minutes ago I thought he was weird and slightly gay because he sparkled; Hell, was I wrong!

Sparkleboy spoke again, gesturing to himself. "My coven… we're different from most of our kind. We don't kill humans. We live on animal blood."

"Sort of like a carnivorous vegetarian," I chuckled darkly, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. "Well, ain't that an oxymoron?"

"Yea, that's what we call ourselves sometimes. It's really an inside joke in the Cullen house."

"You're an oxymoron." Heh.

"Whatever. The point is that we aren't the cause of all those innocent people. There must be one or more vampires in Forks, because all of the recent deaths here have resulted in ravaged, blood-drained bodies. The coven has been on high alert since the first low suspicions; you caught me while I was running a patrol around our territory.

"I'm exposing my skin to the sunlight so that another vampire knows that I'm here. It's a signal to foreigners. We can see miles around, you know."

I just stood there, watching him while he droned on about his problems, mostly talking to himself.

It was a second or two before I realized that he'd shut his mouth and looked Northeast of where we stood. I glanced in that direction, trying to match my gaze with his, but saw nothing.

"What?"

Then exactly where Edward was staring, two girls picked their way through a clump of ferns. One carried an adorable little girl with caramel curls and smiling brown eyes.

"Hi, Noel!" Chirped the black-haired one, who looked oddly like a little pixie. I looked at her, one eye switching, and she smiled at me.

I looked at Edward. He answered the question in my head before I even thought about asking it.

"Only I can read minds. Alice sees the future."

"Of course," I muttered under my breath.

Alice nodded and frolicked toward Edward and I. As she moved, I noticed she did so like a ballet dancer, lithe and graceful. I had to admit, all of them were considerably nimble in every tiny movement I saw.

Alice hugged me, at which I went rigid. "I saw you talking with Edward, and I wanted to meet you." She glanced back at the other girl with the child, who was approaching more slowly, her soft eyes on me.

"That's Bella and Nessie," said Alice, jerking her thumb over her shoulder.

"Renesmee," Bella corrected. I gave the little girl a smile. It was strange; Renesmee seemed like the sweetest little thing I'd ever seen. I didn't trust her for a second.

Bella walked over and joined Edward, locking gazes with him. Something must have been exchanged between them in that moment, because Edward suddenly nodded, his topaz eyes flickering to me for a second.

"We've received a third letter."