Now, have you ever wondered why such mental witches and wizards gravitate toward Hogwarts? Or maybe it's just that their oddness is heightened by Hogwarts. Either way, have you wondered that? I know I have. Take me for example-I was the loudest, most obnoxious Gryffindor girl in my year. I remember when I tripped over Monica Larkins' stuffed Hippogriff. I cursed very loudly and happened to be holding my wand. I brandished it as I fell and created a random as all hell hex or what have you that raised all the beds in our dormitory a meter of the ground. (Thankfully, that trainspotter Lily Evans came in a little while later and fixed it after ranting about how irresponsible I was. I yelled back.)
My twin sister Blaire, she was in Ravenclaw, was on a racing broom team that met in the Summer Holidays. I mean, who races brooms? She didn't even like Quidditch. She was also very loud.
A lot of my friends were really out of the tree. But I won't get into that just now, you'll most likely have the pleasure of finding it out for yourself.
Now let's get into this story.
It started in the Summer Holidays before 5th year.
"GET OUT," I yelled, ramming against the upstairs bathroom door, "BLAIRE, WHAT THE BLOODY BLOOMING BOLLOCKS ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?"
"Paige Opal." Came the raised voice of my mother at the bottom of our oak staircase.
"Mum," I muttered, "BLAIRE, YOU W-DIVVY," I quickly changed my choice of insult for my mothers ears, "GET YOUR DOZY ARSE OUT OF THERE!"
"STOP IT!" Shouted Blaire from in the bathroom.
She had been in there for more than an hour when our Mum sent me up to force her out. Mum always made me force people to do things. I was the loudest of the family aside from Dad of course, and the most obnoxious. Mum thought Blaire had a serious addiction to looking at herself in the mirror. Our Mum could be as barmy as I was at times, and that's pretty barmy. At this point Mum was stalking up the stairs, clutching her fists.
"Blaire Opal Ashlynn Bell, you will get out of this bathroom right now before I blast the bloody door off. Your sister's company is coming in a minute." Mum's voice rose dangerously with each word. I clapped her on the back.
"Brilliant Mum! I actually forgot about my mates for a minute! Ha," I said bemusedly, "Well, I'll be off to meet them in front of the fire. G'luck with Blaire Bear here. GET OUT OF THE BLOODY BATHROOM. I tried, Mum." I added, before whisking off down the stairs.
I was expecting my best mates, Marlene McKinnon and Darlene Meadowes, any minute. We were alternating this summer, switching off for 3 weeks staying at eachother's houses. This was my week, the last week. And we were having a party.
As soon as I stepped off the last stair, the grate sputtered up a fire, the fire turned green, and a whirl of brunette appeared.
"And hi, Darlene." I laughed at my divvy friend, rushing to steady her.
"You know how much I hate those ghastly things, Pae, really, I thought it was going to murder me." Poor Darlene coughed out, raising a shaking finger to point at the then orange flames.
"I bet you did. Now, sit before we get trampled by Mar." I said, pushing her into a chair.
"Hey, what's that noise?" Darlene raised her head at the voices and stomping floating down the stairs.
"Oh, it's the funniest thing-Hey!" I noticed the shining brunette that was Marlene before she came to perfect stop. Stepping out of the fire carefully, she extended her arms.
"Hey, hey!" She embraced me. "And what is wrong with Darly?" She leaned around me to where Darlene was clutching her stomach.
"Fire sickness." I explained to the blunt Marly.
"Ah. Forgot she gets that." She nodded. "But hey, get over it quick Dar, cause we have some Blaire to get to-Speaking of." Marlene snorted, hearing the voice of my twin sister coming down the stairs. We're fraternal, mind you. Atleast, we think we're fraternal.
"Mum, really, do you want us to get bathroom times or something? A bathroom schedule? Last time I checked, there weren't specific rules in this house-" She rambled to a most likely-not-listening-Mum. "Oh, hey, Marls, Darlene!" Blaire broke out into a huge grin.
"Hey, Blaire!" Marlene greeted. Darlene nodded.
"Hey, you okay, Dar?" Blaire looked concerned. "I know just the jinx to get rid of fire sickness. Figures we're not in school."
"I'm fine now." Darlene brightened up considerably, winking discreetly in Marlene and I's direction. I hid a smirk.
"Oh, alright. So what're you all up to?" Blaire asked, looking around at us.
"Nothing you'd be interested in, Bear." I told her offhandedly.
"What, talking about your precious Marauders?" My blonde double smiled behind her hand. She had this curious notion that I liked one of them just because I hung out with them sometimes-I had a boyfriend! Plus, it was actually Darlene who liked Remus Lupin and Marlene harbored the most obvious crush on Sirius Black-this was very common activity amongst the Hogwarts girls.
"Oh, you're not still on about that, are you?" I protested, throwing my hands up. "You're the one that dated Sirius." I should not have said that.
"Well, he's good looking! And that was 3rd year, mind you!" Blaire defended herself. "That relationship was rather odd. There was no common interest..." She trailed off.
"Hm, that's probably why you're not still together. Anyways, so yeah, we'll be off." I hooked my arms through Marlene and Darlene's and tugged them up the stairs.
"This is going to be so wicked!" Marlene punched her fist into the air.
"Damn straight, " I nodded, "So Marly, we need you to get Blaire out of the house." Marlene nodded.
"Where should we go?"
"Ehm, she's wanted to go to the new soda shoppe down on Marcus Street. Would you mind going there?" I asked.
"No problem. Bye guys!" Marlene went down the stairs. "BLAIRE!"
"Well, that was fast." I laughed to Darlene. She smiled. "Hey, Darly, what's the matter?"
"What do you mean?" She perked up.
"Well, you're awful quiet Miss Bubbly!" I sat down next to her on my bed. There was silence, then,
"Yeah, there's something I need to tell you, but Marlene may not like it. I want to get your opinion on it first."
"Okay...Is it really that bad that you can't tell Marly about it?" I scrunched my eyebrows up. This had never happened before.
"Yeah, 'cause, Merlin, I'll just come out with it-Mattie asked me out." Darlene raised her eyebrows, daring me to say something bad.
"Gosh, you mean, Mattie Trindall? Marlene's Mattie? The Matt in Ravenclaw?" I breathed.
"Yes, Pae, Matthew Trindall, Marlene's ex-boyfriend who she can't let go of." Darlene sighed. "He owled me about it yesterday. I couldn't sleep half the night."
"I wouldn't either," I agreed, "Do you want to say yes?"
"Well, yeah, but I don't know what Marly would say. I mean, they went out almost the whole of last year." Darlene looked down.
"It's not your fault you're hot!" I patted her on the back.
After consoling Darlene about the fact that Marlene might kill her, we owled all of the people that were coming to Blaire's/My surprise belated birthday party. Our birthday was the previous week, but she had a Broom Race to compete in-I didn't go cause it was my birthday too and I didn't feel like spending my birthday at a Broom Race. But yeah, so I felt that we should have a party anyways-Blaire is a horrible party planner, so I came up with the idea that we would just surprise Blaire with it. I was a good sister to think of that, wasn't I?
"Does that say Karla Aarons? Why're we owling Karla Aarons?" Darlene looked up in disgust. I laughed.
"Yeah, it does, but I crossed it off-I was supposed to be writing Joshua Essom, but I looked at her name instead."
"Oh, okay. Phew."
The list of people that we were owling consisted of:
Gryffindor:
Harvey Breighton
Remus Lupin
Sirius Black
James Potter
Fabian Prewett
Gideon Prewett
Ravenclaw:
Mattie Trindall
Zachary Wexler
Samantha Gracel
Amelia Mallard
Rachel Enfield
Tricia Prall
Hufflepuff:
Ariel Ingalls
Megan Richards
Carl Reggins
Harold Tuttle
Alice Gafferty
Joshua Essom
Marcell King
Donnie Parks
Slytherin:
Valerie Mitchel
Eliza Smith
"SLYTHERINS?" Darlene suddenly screeched, dropping her quill. I burst out laughing.
"Dar, Dar, don't worry, Blaire says they're nice, they're her friends. Remember, they were the 'Normal' group on our list of cliques." I reassured Darlene.
"Okay." She calmed down.
"You got all yours done then?" I looked over at her fairly large stack of parchment. Darlene nodded, picking up her quill. I gathered up the rolls of parchment and tied half of them to my owl, Richmond, and half to Darlene's owl, Splash. "Okay, so owls, you gotta bring all of these to the people that's names are on the backs. Okay? Okay. Go!" I opened my window with a war cry to get the owls psyched up. They flew out after looking at me wonderingly for a second.
"Why must you enjoy war cries?" Darlene shook her head. I grinned.
Replies:
Paige-
Yeah, Sirius, Remus, and I are coming. Yeah, we won't tell Peter, yeah, we know he's
a party pooper. Say hi to Darlene for us, we'll see you guys at the partayy! Love ya!
And hey, I hope you invite Evans. That would be fun, catch my drift?
-James
Paige, hey!
Sure, I'll come in a bit. Can't wait to see everyone! Happy birthday!
-Harvey
Red-
Pae, we'll be there with a bang! ;)
Love you lots,
Fabian
Paige-
Hey, I'll be there, yeah, but try and keep Marlene away from me
'cause she's scary. Thanks! Oh, and happy birthday to both you and Blaire!
-Matt
Storm-
Hey, cool, it'll be fun!
-Zachary Attackary =)
Paige-
Man, I'll be there! WOOTWOOT!
Sam
Paige Bell
I'll be there shortly, girly!
Mia Mallard
Paige-
Coolio! I'll be there whenever :)
Peace, man!
-Rachelll
Darlene-
Hiya! Yes, it'll be fun! You too!
Trish
Dar-
Heyy, Darly! It was their birthday? That's nuts!
How did I not know? Haha, anyways, yes, I'll definitely be there.
-Ariel
Darlers-
Psshhh, of course I'll come!
Meggers
Hey, Darlene, I'll be there in a bit!
Again, thanks for the invite n' all that!
-Carl
Hi Darlene!
Thanks for the info! Oh, and what do the twins want for their
presents? Would some Honeydukes be okay?
-Harold
("MAMMA LIKE SOME HONEYDUKES! WAHOO!" Yelped Paige, clutching the parchment. Darlene shushed her and wrote what Paige was doing as a reply to Harold.)
Meadowes-
It'll be great fun!
See you there, buddy!
-Allie
Hey, yeah, sure!
-Josh
Darly--
Yesss, I'll come! WAHOO!
I'll bring some firewhiskey--kidding! Or am I? :P
Marc
Hiyaaaa Darlene!
Dude, I'll totally be there une momento!
Peace!
Don-o-man
Darlene-
Sure, Val and I will come!
Tell Paige thanks for the invite in the
first place(we know she doesn't like us that much.)!
-Eliza
"Okay, so everyone is coming! Yay!" I clapped my hands. Now we just needed to set up the barn.
"EVERYONE, KEEP YOUR KNICKERS ON, BUT MARLENE AND BLAIRE ARE COMING UP THE PATH! SO SHUT IT!" I yelled at the morons who were wrecklessly running around my barn. They all stood stock still, listening for footsteps.
There they were.
"And-" Blaire was saying, pushing open the heavy barn door. Pop! The Fillibusters firework tied to the top of the door exploded, setting off a huge display of lights. I smirked, hopping off the crate I was standing on with the help of Fabian's hand.
"Well, that was a success." I remarked to him, looking up.
"Thanks to us." Fabian grinned, gesturing to his twin brother Gideon, who was talking to Zach Wexler by the refreshments.
"Too true." I smiled and tugged on a lock of his flaming red hair. "I'm gonna go see Blaire, kay?"
"Okay, I'll see you around somewhere in this madness, Red." He kissed me and I laughed, pulling away.
"Dude, how can you be this charming to me and still be a jerk to others?" I punched his shoulder, winking.
"It's all an art." Fabian smirked mysteriously.
"Weirdo." I muttered jokingly, turning away. I grinned over my shoulder as I went to meet Blaire.
"Hey, you liking the party?" I asked Blaire at about 11:30 PM, holding a bottle of butter beer, dancing around. I noticed she had gotten a blotch of something on the skirt of her orange and black patterned sundress. I didn't tell her about it, I just laughed.
"Yeah, it's awesome! I wonder what we got." Blaire beamed in thanks, glancing at the two tables marked "PAIGE'S PRESENTS, NO ONE TOUCH! (or she'll curse your baby-making parts off at school-she doesn't forget things)" and "Blaire's gifty-wifty's". I had marked them myself, hense my warning to the party-goers.
"Ugh, I know, I wanna open ze prezzies." I groaned. "Ya know what, we'll open them now, yeah? Alright, GUYS!" Everyone kept rampaging around. That's the kind of friends we keep.
"Aw, Paige, please don't do something obnoxious." Blaire backed away a bit, seeing the look I gave her.
"Aw, Blaire," I mimicked her, setting my butter beer down after taking a swig, "C'mon, I just need to get-Hey!" A camera had just flashed in my face.
"Hey, Paige. Blaire." Sirius nodded in Blaire's direction.
"Hey, buddy, haven't seen you all night." I did a manly handshake with Sirius. He laughed. Hey, I was manly-I was the only girl here wearing a navy blue tank top, shorts, and green flip flops. How could they even dance in those things they were wearing on their feet? Even Blaire was wearing gold strappy sandals with a bit of a heel. That's just how she was.
"Oh, James, Remus, and I were just hanging out with the Prewett's." Sirius smirked. I smirked back.
"Cooking up something, are we?" I raised my eyebrows.
We all hung out for awhile after that altercation, we meaning Blaire, Sirius, James, Remus, Fabian, Gideon, and I.
"Here you are!" Came a shriek. Marlene.
"Yeah, Marls, I'm right here." I turned to her. Oh, Goddess, she has Darlene with her.
"Hey Darlene, hey Marlene." And when Remus greeted them, I realised something.
"You guys have rhyming names." I leaned forward, the gears spinning in my head.
"What?" Darlene inquired, looking puzzled. "No we don't." She looked to Marlene.
"Yeah, we don't." Marlene stated, looking at me oddly.
"Uh, yeah, you do. Marlene, Darlene, Marly, Darly, Mar, Dar. Goddess, how did I not see it before?" I was genuinely confused. How did that happen? And then the group was laughing. And I mean hysterically.
"You're so dumb-" Sirius gasped, clutching his stomach.
"How-how-" Marlene was shaking her head with laughter.
"Red-" Fabian ruffled my hair, snickering loudly.
"Pae-really-what?" James was on the floor already, the weird fellow.
"Paige-" Remus was having a jolly laugh.
"HOW DUMB CAN YOU GET?" Gideon shouted, laughing in short spurts. Fabian smacked him upside the head, still snickering his arse off.
"Sirius wins the bet!" Darlene was saying, giggling behind her hand, pointing at Sirius.
Blaire just had her arm around me, shaking with laughter and clapping me on the back in between gasps.
"Guys, I don't get it, and Sirius-What bet?" The laughter stopped and Sirius looked scared.
"Uh, the bet about when you would figure out their names rhymed. It was that day last year when you were really sick and in bed all day. It struck Remus that he didn't think you knew their names rhymed. But it was Gideon that started the bet." Sirius accused, pointing a finger at my boyfriend's double.
"Oh, don't blame me, how do you know it wasn't Fabian?" Gideon pulled his brother in front of him like a shield. I pulled him back.
"Cause he wouldn't want to hurt my feelings, right sweetie?" I looked at him menacingly.
"Uh-IT WAS MARLENE, IT WAS!" He pointed me in her direction.
"No, it was Remus!" She accused wildly.
"Oi! JAMES!" Remus said, looking appalled at the idea of himself starting a bet.
"Blaire." James stated, glancing in Blaire's direction.
"I AM NOT INVOLVED IN THIS! And I believe it was Fabian, anyway." Blaire sassed, leaning around me to look him in the face.
"Why do I have to be stupid?" I whined for about the 10th time. "Why can't you be stupid?" My head was on Blaire's shoulder.
"Ask the Sorting Hat."