Payson Keeler stood frozen in place, mentally berating herself. This is the stupidest thing she had ever done. Forget the illegal cortisone. Forget Nicky Russo. Forget rushing her petition to the National Team. Forget kissing Sasha. This right now, standing with a guitar strap over her shoulder on the side of the stage at The Rock Fundraising Talent Show, was without a doubt the stupidest thing she had ever done.
She felt a squeeze on her hand and let out the breath she had been holding.
"You know you don't have to do this Pace."
Payson sent her a weak imitation of her normally brilliant smile. She didn't know what she would have done without Emily Kmetko this past year. It may seem weird to some since she had known Kaylie and Lauren much longer but Emily was without a doubt her best friend.
"Yes" she whispered as the current act finished and the MC Sasha had hired took the stage. "I do."
Emily gave her a fierce hug and stepped back, allowing Damon to take her place, guitar in hand.
"You ready, Kid?" he asked and couldn't stop his chuckle at the scathing look she shot him.
"No." She moaned miserably, pouting up at him.
Damon wrapped his arm protectively around her shoulders and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head.
Payson leaned into him and tried to relax. "Thank you for doing this. I know it's not your type of music but . . ."
"It's perfect for what you need to do. And I'm honored that you asked me to help." He kept his arm around her, trying to offer a little comfort to the tiny blonde that he had come to love fiercely. They stayed that way as they listed to the MC finish talking.
"And before the final act of the night Coach Belov would like to thank everyone who showed their support tonight. Enough money was made to get all of the gymnasts to the invitational. I hope everyone had a wonderful time, drive safe and enjoy the end of the show."
As he left the stage Damon gave Payson one last squeeze before making his way to the stage, grabbing a stool as he passed by. Stepping onto the stage he smiled at the audience and settled onto the stool off to the side. No one was really surprised to see Damon there. He had been a regular at Rock fundraisers since that very first fashion show.
He started a soft slow melody as he watched the side of the stage with an affectionate smile. A second guitar joined in and everyone waited for Emily to appear on stage. They were all shocked as a hesitant blonde stepped out playing her guitar.
Payson quickly made her way over to Damon, keeping her eyes firmly away from the audience. Damon smile indulgently and nodded toward the microphone at center stage. Payson let out a visible sigh and made her way there, eyes locked on the back wall. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth, stunning everyone.
"I'm so glad you made time to see me. How's life? Tell me how's your family? I haven't seen them in a while. You've been good, busier than ever. Small talk, work and the weather. Your guard is up and I know why. 'Cause the last time you saw me is still burned in the back of your mind. You gave me roses, and I left them there to die."
Payson took a deep breath and finally lowered her eyes to the audience. She saw her parents sitting in the second row staring at her in awe, Sasha not too far from them looking thoroughly confused, before she settled on Becca, her co-conspirator, smiling widely at her. She held up five fingers, tipped her head straight back and winked. Payson smiled for the first time on stage and continued.
"So this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night. And I go back to December all the time. It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you. Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I go back to December turn around and make it alright. I go back to December all the time."
She glanced to her right and saw Damon smiling proudly at her and beyond him Emily smiled hugely, giving her a thumbs up. She turned back to the crowd and ran her eyes over them, careful not to focus on anyone.
"These days I haven't been sleeping, staying up playing back myself leaving. When your birthday passed and I didn't call. And I think about summer, all the beautiful times I watched you laughing from the passenger side and realized I loved you in fall. And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind. You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye."
Everyone in the audience was silent, stunned, and they could all clearly see the tears in her eyes.
"So this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night. And I go back to December all the time. It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you. Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind. I go back to December all the time."
She stepped back from the mic and she and Damon played a beautifully haunting melody. Payson nodded jerkily to the side of the stage and Emily calmly walked over to her. They quickly transferred the guitar from Payson's shoulders to Emily's and Payson stepped back up to the mic, removing it from the stand. She glanced at Becca again to see her sister beaming and nodding encouragingly. Slowly she allowed her gaze to travel back the five tows and took in the line of people there.
Lauren sat staring incredulously at the stage from five or so seats in. Next to her were Max then Austin and finally Kaylie. She steeled herself visibly and moved to the stairs, slowly making her way down and purposefully gliding her way five rows behind her giddily smiling sister.
"I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile. So good to me, so right. And how you held me in your arms that September night, the first time you ever saw me cry."
Payson slowly made her way down the row, fingers white from her grip on the mic. She took in Lauren's face going from shocked to furious and her death grip on Max's arm but she completely ignored the bitchy blonde.
"Maybe this is wishful thinking. Probably mindless dreaming. But if we loved again I swear I'd love you right."
She stopped in front of her target, took a deep breath and looked down into the startlingly blue eyes that she adored.
"I'd go back in time and change it but I can't. So if the chain is on your door I understand."
Everyone in the room, save a select few, was staring at her wide-eyed but she didn't even notice. Her eyes were glued to the one person who knew her better than anyone, could see threw her with no trouble. Something flashed in his eyes as he followed the path of the single tear that escaped down her cheek.
Her voice came out soft and hesitant but no les sincere.
"But this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night. And I go back to December. It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you. Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I go back to December, turn around and make it all right. I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind. I go back to December all the time. All the time."
The music faded out and cheers raced through the crowd who didn't know Payson well. Anyone close to her sat frozen.
But Payson never noticed any of it. Her gaze was locked solely on the boy in front of her. Not once in all the time she had known him had she seen him that still. Even when he was sitting stationary he had an almost restless energy that emanated from him. But not now. Now he was a statue, his eyes glued to hers. They stayed that way for a moment before he broke the stare to follow another lone tear that inched its way down her seek and came to rest at the corner of her mouth.
Again something flashed in his eyes as Payson licked her lips quickly, reflexively.
"I . . ." She breathed out shakily. "I was, am, scared. You're constantly on my mind. I hated being away from you. You're the first person I've ever met who could distract me from my goals. You're so . . ." she trailed off, leaving the thought hanging. "And I couldn't understand how someone as amazing as you could want someone like me. I hear what they say. Robot Payson, the boring one." That got a reaction but she shook her head. "And I was okay with that. It's what I wanted. But I never felt like that with you. You always understood how much I want it, how hard I work. And for the first time in my life, given the choice, I'd choose to spend time with you over training. With you I'm just Payson."
She bit her lip uncertainly before plowing on. "And I know I screwed up. I know I hurt you. But it hasn't changed. Past, present," she let out a little laugh "even future. I still lo-"
Whatever Payson was going to say was cut off.
Austin Tucker surged to his feet and captured her face in-between his rough hands. She arched up on her tiptoes to follow him and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"I never want anyone but just Payson." He breathed before taking her lips in a heated kiss, both knowing that she was right where she belonged.
A/N: I know that I haven't updated in forever. I am working on my other stories, but the Austin and Payson in my head just wouldn't let this one go. Let me know what you think.
I don't own any of the characters in this story. Nor do I own "Back to December"