(AN: This is the redone first chapter, because the clicheness was really bothering me. Everything is WAY different, so I hope you don't mind.

( ) = Might be kinda confusing, but these are both narration comments and my comments. I think you'll be able to distinguish which is which, though.)

Royal Blunders

Chapter One: Justice Is My Reward—Ok, Maybe Not

It was a common scene; the Slayers had stumbled onto another bandit gang trying to hide out in the woods, and obviously, Lina took the initiative to bring them to justice. At least in Amelia's eyes—according to Lina, this gang was the richest one she'd encountered all day.

And so, without any pretense, Gourry, Zelgadis, and Amelia had been drafted into another war against the bandits, rushing in and unleashing their attacks onto the enraged bandits as if by routine (which it practically was).

Unfortunately, one of the bandits was smarter than he looked (and you didn't come across this situation very often), and had snatched Amelia right in the middle of a particularly sleep-inducing Justice speech, and before you could say "Ra Tilt" (a little crappy authoress' humor, there), she was at the back of the bandit's hideout, chained to a wooden 'X'. This was an uncomfortable situation, watching her friends fighting off the sea of criminals and not being able to do anything.

Amelia realized that since every single spell she tried to free herself must have been blocked—the chains were magic themselves, and repelled every spell set against them. (Meaning Amelia accidentally fried herself numerous times trying to be freed.) Feeling very helpless and crispy, she looked on biting her lip as the battle raged on.

Zelgadis happened to glance around for a split second before running into another horde of attackers, and noticed Amelia tied jauntily to the crossed poles. Since Lina was occupied at the moment, ("FIREBALL! FIREBALL!") he had no choice but to save her himself. "Great…more problems is what we need," he murmured, dashing through the crowd of bandits at his brau demon speed. When he arrived at the 'X', his path was cut short by the bandit who had snatched Amelia, darting in front of him with his sword upraised.

"Oh, no you don't," he cried in a whiny voice, raven-black hair drifting across the sides of his face in a rather ugly style, his sword held diagonally in front of him and aimed at Zelgadis. "No one can defeat the wrath of Vern, the Red Bandit King!!" He laughed maniacally, his fingers twitching.

Zelgadis blinked. "Your name is Vern?"

Vern stopped to scratch his head. "Well, my mother, gods bless the old lady, wanted to name me after her father's uncle's nephew's grandfather's brother, Vernon Archadid Moronus, a very great bandit indeed!" Vern beamed, polishing his sword idly on his cloak. "He was a delightful lad, yes he was!"

"That's great to know…" Zelgadis had a lot trouble stifling a wide smirk. "I can see how he got his last name."

"Why, thank you—HEY!" Vern composed himself and got into a battle stance again. "You will pay for further angering me, the great and widely respected Vern!" Without hesitance he slashed at Zelgadis' stomach, jumping backwards with his hands on his hips. "Let's see you live through that one, you ignorant fool!"

"If I'm a fool, I'm a fool with a stone gut," answered Zelgadis calmly, tapping his stomach, where the cloth of his short had been torn open, but the skin was unpierced. Vern blinked, his mouth gaping wide open. "You're a….you're…"

"A pissed off swordsman," finished Zelgadis for him, striking with his sword accompanied by a quickly cast Astral Vine. He blinked, cocking his head in mock sympathy. "I'm sorry…you didn't get to say goodbye to your moronic great great—oh, forget it." He sighed shortly and stepped over Vern's limp body, chopping at the manacles on the ecstatic Amelia's wrists.

Meanwhile, only meters away, Lina and Gourry pitted themselves against wave after wave of bandits; Lina throwing Fireball after Fireball in different directions, Gourry hacking openly at the bandits' guts, leaving quite a mess. "Flare Arrow! Fireball!" Lina's hands were constantly in movement. On her left, Gourry struck twice as many times with his sword, leaving many bandits armless.

"How—are—you—holding—up—Lina?" asked Gourry, slashing in between words, in unfailing concentration that was only sometimes broken by having to dodge the other swords swinging his way.

Lina didn't stop to look at him as she backed up near the swordsman, both of them being surrounded by the encircling bandits. "How does it look like I'm doing, Gourry?" She gave him an annoyed look and glared down the rest of the bandits heading their way. "What do you propose we do, Jellyfish-Brains?"

Gourry readied his stance and glanced at Lina from over his shoulder. "Well, what we could do is try attacking at the same time; you with your big magic, and me with my sword. We'll do a countdown, okay? You do it, though. I can't remember the numbers."

Lina rolled her eyes and began counting, gritting her teeth. "One…two…three….oh, screw the countdown, darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows…"

"Gah!!" cried Gourry, stumbling backwards through the line of bandits towards the mound where Zelgadis had just hacked off the last shackle, and stopped to rest his hands on his knees, panting. "Zel!! Big bad spell! It's the Digger Slack….uh…the Dorky Shrug…..the—"

Zelgadis merely blinked as a large sweatdrop rolled down his forehead. "Just say it, Gourry."

Gourry scratched his head. "Uh…..bandits go boom?" He gave Zel a sheepish grin as he stood up straight and caught his breath.

Zel rolled his eyes. "You need to specify which type of death they're going to suffer. Crispy, well-done, or burnt to a crisp?" he sighed, folding his arms across his chest.

"Burnt to a crisp," answered Gourry at once, nodding.

"Right, the Dragon Slave." Zel yanked Amelia by her wrists, pulling her upwards (she, by then, had gone limp from exhaustion of trying to free herself), and carried her after Gourry, who ran like a madman for the sheltered woods, and practically dove into a nearby clump of bushes, covering his head.

"Buried in the flow of time; in Thy great name, I pledge myself to darkness! "

Finally, panting with fatigue, save the unconscious Amelia, the two swordsmen rested behind the bush clump and watched the chaos about to unfold from afar.

The bandits (the stupidest ones) were watching Lina with great interest, having never seen magic before, but those who had witnessed such spells had the common sense to begin running very fast.

"Those who oppose us shall be destroyed by the power you and I possess!!"

Of course, they couldn't outrun Lina with a big spell in her hands. She held it above her head, prepared to strike, the Black spell writhing with crackling thunder.

"….DRAGON SLAVE!!"

The sound was tumultuous; the blast of the spell's impact on the earth along with simultaneous shrieks of pain from the burnt up bandits created one big bang. As soon as the momentum was over, Lina surveyed her handiwork with great pride, flashing a v-sign at Zelgadis and Gourry, coming out from behind the bushes.

"And the great and beautiful sorcery genius strikes again!! Da da da dum da dum!!" Lina shouted out a trumpet-like fanfare as she went around the crisp-friend field. Amelia, who had by then come to, gave Zelgadis an inquisitive glance as she watched Lina dancing amongst the strewn bodies of bandits (quite a disturbing scene if you hadn't seen it before).

"What happened, Zelgadis-san?"

Zelgadis set her down on the grass and shook his head. "Dragon Slave."

"Oh, right," she said, standing up and dusting herself off and making sure Zelgadis was unhurt. "Are you alright, Zelgadis-san? I know that bandit leader attacked you…" She looked him up and down meticulously.

"I'm fine, Amelia."

"Are you sure?" She cast a sideways glance at him. "I don't know, he seemed half-crazy, wanting revenge against my daddy…"

Zelgadis blinked. "Revenge?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Yes!! He was planning on holding me for ransom! He told me while he was tying me up. But you guys saved me and not only that, you protected the honor and stability of Seyruun!"

"Amelia…" Zelgadis was hovering between an extreme of exasperation and appreciation, both strangely accented by a rather large sweatdrop, but Amelia chose to ignore that, or just plain didn't notice. "You should be rewarded!"

"I really don't think that's necessary—" began Zelgadis, exasperation beginning to take over that side of appreciation, until Lina approached them with a wide, triumphant grin crossing her face.

"We did it!! Well, actually, I did it. You all helped this time around." She clasped her hands, rubbing them together in a slightly menacing way. "Alright! So, where's the gold?" She peered around in different directions until Zelgadis tapped her on the shoulder.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't bandits keep their gold in their pockets?"

"Yeah, so?" Lina's eyes glittered in anticipation. "So what? I wanna get my gold!"

"Well, the bandits here are no exception to that rule. You just sent them all flying into the sky, or headfirst into the ground, along with their gold."

Lina's mouth dropped open as Zelgadis continued.

"And even if the gold did survive being blown out of this world, it's been melted by the heat and power that comes along with the Dragon Slave," he explained calmly as Lina's ears began issuing forth steam and her face burned as red as her crimson eyes. Amelia bit back her lip and Gourry proceeded to take a step behind Zel as Lina began to vent.

"I WENT…..THROUGH ALL OF THAT….FOR NOTHING?!"

"Not technically for nothing, Lina-san!" piped up Amelia. "I was just telling Zelgadis-san that you all ought to be rewarded, for rescuing me from an evil bandit's clutches and protecting the—"

"Honor and stability of Seyruun," finished Zelgadis, his eyes dropping in disbelief. "She wants to have us rewarded."

"Oh, really?" asked Lina interestedly, the red hue disappearing from her face as a look of unfathomable glee replaced it. 'What kind of reward, Amelia dear?" she asked, gazing unfailingly at Amelia.

Zelgadis and Gourry both fell over at the strangeness of this gesture, but Amelia peered up at the sky thoughtfully. 'Well, let's see…there's always a very large sum of money, but I'm not sure if we can sacrifice that much for a reward just yet, since you've used it for eating…oh, but there is one possibility!"

"And that would be?" asked Lina impatiently, leaning up in Amelia's face. Amelia chuckled nervously and took a few steps backwards. "Knighthood, I suppose."

Lina merely blinked. "And what would knighthood possibly have to do with gold?"

"You get lots of it, Lina-san! People that are knighted in the name of Seyruun's Royal Family are entitled to the wealth of the Royal Family!" She smiled, enheartened. "You also get to live in the palace, with me and daddy! You can learn Royal protocol, learn Royal dances, eat from Royal banquets—"

"Food and gold in one?!" said Lina, her voice barely higher than a whisper in her ecstatic state. "Not to mention the well-earned respect of Seyruun?"

Amelia nodded again.

"Not that I really care more about respect that food or gold…actually…I'm not sure which one is best—Gourry!!" she shouted, pulling the swordsman up from the ground by his ear.

"Ow ow ow ow ow!! What, Lina?" asked poor Gourry, held up straight only by his earlobe as he struggled to stand, with Zelgadis clambering up to the normal height of gravity.

Lina gave him a malicious smile, one that could only suggest that she had things in mind that had to do with money. "We're gonna be RICH!"

(Yay! I redid it! I think it's slightly better, don't you think? I hope so! Now, be good and go review, because it will inspire me even more on my big old inspiration spree/trip thingy!~*~Tams~*~)