Dreaming & Doing
"We have a special guest speaker today, everyone!" Mr. Carmichael said.
Jess' class peers clapped enthusiastically; she was only used to sarcastic, apathetic clapping. Jess supposed that was the difference between a public high school and the Disney School of Imagineering – a vast difference, to say the least.
Right on cue, a tall young man walked in, a messenger's bag slung over his shoulder and his hand outstretched. Mr. Carmichael shook his hand in return with wholehearted fervor.
His profile looked familiar to Jess. Maybe she had seen him in a dream before – that tended to happen a lot. After all, her dreams didn't exactly follow the norm in that department. There were no concrete rules for how her strange ability worked. But aside from that, she couldn't place where else she would have seen him, or if she even knew him, for that matter.
A piece of paper fell onto Jess' desk. She looked over to her right, Tim looking nonchalant. Catching her eye, his eyebrows shot up, urging her to read the note that he had just tossed at her. This was a typical ritual of theirs – passing notes back and forth in class for fun. Sure, it was something extremely high school-ish to do (especially considering they were in college now) but she enjoyed it. Tim kept class interesting. She reached for the note, eager to see what snide joke Tim had made this time, no doubt about the guest speaker.
"Though he's no stranger to Southern California, as he's spent some time at UCLA, Jason has traveled all the way from Orlando, Florida to give us some insight into his work as an Imagineer over in Walt Disney World-"
Jess' head shot up, the note falling from her hands to the ground.
Jason. From that night that had happened months ago, now. She had completely forgotten about him.
Completely.
She couldn't tear her gaze away, Jason standing at the front of the small classroom. He looked exactly the same – with his mussed up brown hair, long legs, a lopsided smile, and gray eyes that briefly glanced over the room.
Jess couldn't imagine him recognizing her. She'd switched up her hair color probably several times more since she'd seen him last. It'd be fine. Completely fine. He probably didn't even remember her, anyway – she had never even texted him back after that night. But she remembered him clearly. She'd only seen him in her daydreams, in every other thought, after that night, until he had slowly faded away to a safe, untouchable box locked deep in her memory. A box that, until now, had remained dusty and hidden and forgettable.
Tim leaned over and whispered into her ear, "You okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."
The class clapped politely as Jason nodded humbly, scanning the room of students. Jason's eyes locked with hers and widened, his mouth parting slightly in the shape of a question.
Jess gulped down the oncoming feeling of nervous nausea, wishing she had the Fairlie ability to turn invisible instead of dreaming the future. Did he remember her, from all those nights ago? No, he couldn't have. This was a dream – it had to be.
"Jess?" Her name fell out of Jason's mouth. Instantly he looked as if he wanted to shove the word back in once he realized that he'd spoken aloud, color rising up in his cheeks. He coughed.
He actually remembers me.
"Ah! It seems Jess and Jason are already acquainted with one another." Mr. Carmichael said.
Tim was languidly looking back and forth between Jess and Jason, clearly confused. The rest of the class was, as well – stealing glances at Jess, and then back towards the front of the room. The extra attention made Jess' stomach do flips.
"Er, well, we met once. Briefly. In the Parks." Jason said it so plainly, but knowing what their situation could have been and what it never was, she could hear the slight disappointment underlying his voice. He gave a small nod towards Jess.
"Yeah," Jess heard her voice squeak out, nodding to herself. Barely anyone heard her.
"…in fact, the Parks are what I'm here to talk to you all about today!" Jason grinned, relinquishing the awkward tension that had formed in the room by changing the subject. He dove once again into introducing more about himself and his career.
"You know him?" Tim was whispering to Jess again, unable to hide his suspicion and jealousy.
"We met once, okay? That's it." Jess made sure to give a glare to alert Tim that the conversation about Jason was over – they were over. They had been for a long time now, not that anything had ever even started. Plus, there was Tim. Tim was… well, he was Tim, and he was here and now. And Jason was… an almost.
Tim huffed, clearly wanting to discuss it further, but he backed off when Jess gave him another glare. Jess was thankful for that small miracle.
"Well, we're certainly glad to have you here speaking to us today!" Mr. Carmichael said. "Take the floor, Jason."
"Thank you, sir. I'd be happy to." He gave a silly two-fingered salute off of his forehead to Mr. Carmichael, who settled himself behind his desk and reclined deeply in his chair.
In mere moments, Jason had his laptop out and a slideshow projected onto the front of the classroom, displaying pictures while explaining a number of different Imagineering projects and personal experiences on the job. Jess, along with much of the rest of the class, feverishly took notes (he was pretty much giving them great research material that could come in handy for future essays) while he lectured. His passion for Imagineering, for dreaming and doing, was clear in the way his eyes lit up as he laughed through stories and ideas.
Guilt ate away at Jess the entire time. As much as she tried to focus on the material of the lecture – and not him – she couldn't. All she could do was remember how kind and helpful he had been that night… but she couldn't afford to think in what ifs. That was the past now; her life was here. He'd probably be back in Orlando, if not UCLA, and she'd be here in Anaheim, so there was no use in even entertaining the idea.
Many times, Jason's eyes would fall on hers throughout the lecture, soft and hopeful, and she'd immediately break off the eye contact, staring hard at her notes and her scribbled sketches in the margins. Many times, she'd wish she hadn't looked away.
Jess deeply hated herself for deciding to sit in the back of the classroom, at the urging of Tim. Really, the back may have been useful for daydreaming, texting, and doing anything other than classwork, but now Jess realized the only con of these highly sought for seats: the only door was at the front of the classroom. Any chance she'd had at achieving a swift escape was thwarted by the masses of students in front of her, blocking the exit as they all clogged the aisles and herded at the one and only door.
She didn't even wait for Tim like she usually did. She needed to disappear fast if she even had a chance of avoiding the inevitably awkward conversation with Jason. Jess threw her things into a bag and over her shoulder, her head down as she walked briskly away on the tail end of the last students to leave.
"Jess?"
Too late.
"Hey," Jess said, hesitation in her voice as she turned to face Jason. She could feel Tim's stare from the back of the classroom as he slowly gathered up his stuff, no-doubt wondering why she had bolted for the door and why she was talking to Jason now.
Jason looked relieved that Jess had turned around at all. A small smile crept over his face. "It's so weird to see you here! I mean- ah, I didn't know you went here."
Jess laughed, but to her it sounded like she was choking on air. "Yeah."
It wasn't that she didn't want to talk to Jason, she just had no idea what to say – so many unspoken words and conversations seemed to hang between them, all because she'd just cut it off by not answering a single text. She couldn't tell if she was making things awkward or if it was just awkward to begin with. Jason seemed fine, so maybe it was just her, but that didn't make Jess feel any better. She shifted on her feet under his gaze. If she had just answered that text, maybe things would be different. But now, seeing him in person, the consequences of ignoring him made her feel all-the-more guilty.
He dug his hands in his pockets. "So, how've you been? You want to go grab a coffee or something?"
"Oh, um." Jess readjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder. "I'd love to, but-"
"Hi." Tim walked up, still eyeing Jess and Jason. He looked moody (he was always moody; it just went with his dark and brooding vibe, Jess figured).
Jason held out a hand, which Tim shook. "Hi, I'm Jason."
"Tim."
Isn't this the type of scenario most rom-coms try to avoid? Or that always inevitably happen in those movies? Whatever it was, Jess was pretty sure that everything she learned to avoid from the cheesy films she watched on movie nights with Amanda was occurring right now, before her eyes.
Jason turned back to Jess, while Tim hovered like a dark storm cloud in her peripheral vision. "So, do you like it here?"
Jess nodded. "Yeah, I more than like it. I love it here. It's wonderful."
Jason smiled brightly at that. "You know, I went here too. Graduated last year, if you can even call it that."
"And you're already out there, doing stuff? I thought you were a few years older-"
He shook his head. "Not really. Ah, well, you see-"
"Prodigy." Tim's face was hard and accusing. "I remember you. You were the prodigy kid, the guy all the professors raved about. They referred to you as the most promising Imagineer student that they'd had in a long time." The jealousy that coated Tim's voice was thick.
"Very flattering, but I'm really not-" Jason said modestly.
"Pssh," Tim said. "You freaking got sent to WDW for the big stuff right away. I heard you even got to work on some projects under Wayne Kresky."
Jess felt a pang in her chest at the mention of an old mentor, an old friend. She locked eyes with Jason, who's mouth now curved downwards in a small frown. Of course, she'd already known that he and Wayne knew each other – she'd found that out the first time they met. But there was a shared grief there in his eyes at the mention of Wayne.
"Wayne was a brilliant mentor." Jason sighed. "He did a lot of great things, here. Sacrificed a lot, too." He gave a pointed look at Jess.
He knows how Wayne died – the sacrifice, his murder. Surely that's what Jason is implying? Does Jason know more about me and the Kingdom Keepers than he previously let on? Jess wondered.
"I miss him." Jess said.
"I miss him, too." A melancholy smile. It was nice to have someone else who understood.
"Wait a second." Tim looked hurt. Now his focus was back on Jess. "You knew Wayne? The Wayne Kresky?"
"Yes."
"What? Why didn't you tell me! Jess!" His minor freak out was nothing short of a moment-ruiner. "What else haven't you told me about?!"
Suddenly, the idea of just hanging out alone with Jason for a while didn't seem so bad. Things didn't feel as awkward as she had dreaded at first. In fact, things felt normal between them now, as if no time had passed at all, and she was back in the Magic Kingdom the night that they had first met. The awkwardness she had been feeling had been all in her head, projected onto the situation.
And as much as she liked Tim, he could be a moody spaz most of the time. He had good intentions, but that didn't mean his blunt statements didn't have a sharp edge to them. Where Tim was prickly and guarded, Jason was warm and open. It was a welcome change, a change Jess hadn't been expecting.
Jess smiled sweetly, turning on Tim. "Don't you have another class to get to?"
His dark eyebrows rose, then scrunched together. The sting in his eye was evident – Tim was wounded. He shifted on his feet, frustrated, knowing exactly what was happening here. "Don't you have a class, too?"
"Not for a while. I'll meet you later, okay?"
Tim theatrically checked his watch. "Yeah, I'm late, anyway." He sulked off, not even saying goodbye, blending into the shadows as he went.
"I'll take that coffee now." Jess smiled, and Jason smiled back even brighter.
A few minutes later, Jess and Jason shared a table outside in the alleyway located between the Market House and Main Street Clothiers. Since DSI was located right behind the Disneyland Park, the closest Starbucks of choice was in the park itself, on Main Street. Jolly music mingled with the excited conversations of guests passing by, infecting Jess with a feeling of giddiness. Warm drinks were clutched in both of Jess and Jason's hands, helping in fighting off the chilled overcast of the morning.
They'd both walked there, since it wasn't very far. Small talk ensued: the weather, how were classes, isn't professor so-and-so amazing? Although Jess would talk some, she sprung the questions back on him, to which he answered quite in-depth. He certainly knew his way around DSI.
And sitting there, after hearing a few of Jason's stories, she couldn't help herself from wondering. "Prodigy, huh?" She mused.
He gave a soft laugh and shook his head, staring down at the coffee in his hands.
"Why?"
"Excuse me?"
"Why become an Imagineer?" Jess said. "From what it sounds like, you could've gone anywhere, done anything you wanted, with your promising engineering skills and creativity."
Jason seemed to contemplate the question for a bit.
"The thing I love the most about it is, you know, there's this saying: dreaming and doing. Most of the time, people only do one or the other. But here, we do both. We dream of something. So we do it."
"Even if it's not practical?"
"Well, most things are practical – what's really hard is just finding a way to get it done. The difference is you've got to try, even if you're not sure how it turns out. The idea could be a total failure, or it could be a complete success. We just have to keep moving forward."
Something about his words struck Jess. She knew he was talking about his budding career as an Imagineer, words of wisdom no doubt handed down from Wayne himself, but she couldn't help but feel that he was also subtly talking to her personally, about what had happened between them. Or maybe she was just hearing what she knew she needed to hear: move forward, not backward. She needed to stop dreaming of what ifs and just start doing those things, too.
"I'm sorry I never answered your text."
He looked surprised, the pink in his cheeks making him all the more adorable to her.
"It was rude, and I'm sorry."
Jason looked at a loss for words, his quieter side making an appearance. "It's alright. I'm just glad I ran into you again. It's difficult to change the past, but the future…" He gave a casual shrug.
Jess felt relieved, thankful that Jason was so forgiving.
"Wait." Jess held up a hand. Jason looked a bit alarmed once again. "That sentence didn't sound right."
"Um. Even Lit Majors mess up sentences sometimes, if that's what you're implying. Did I say something wrong…?"
"No." Jess shook her head, afraid she might black out in a dream-daze; the sensation creeping up on her was the same feeling as one of those, ominous and dizzying. "The way you talked about the past… usually people would say that the past can't be changed. But you said 'it's difficult' which implies that if someone tried hard enough, they could, in fact, change the past."
Jason dragged a hand through his brown hair, avoiding her eyes, as he grew increasingly interested with the Sharpie markings on his paper coffee cup. Although, the dimpled smile that he was clearly trying to hide by biting his lip told Jess she was onto something.
She perked up in her seat. "And then Tim mentioned something about you and Wayne and projects…" It felt like an epiphany, being struck by lightning, electrical circuits connecting together until lightbulbs flashed brilliantly in her brain. "YOU HELPED WAYNE WITH THE RESEARCH FOR TIME TRAVEL! OH MY GOSH!"
Guests walking by and at nearby tables all turned to look in the direction of Jess and her ginormous outburst.
"Shh! Shh!" Jason motioned with his hands for her to sit down. Jess hadn't even realized that she had stood up.
"Do you want everyone to know!?" He whispered harshly.
She sat back down in her chair, leaning forward on the table, unable to hide her excitement at her discovery. "So it's true then? You helped orchestrate this whole thing with Wayne?"
His gray eyes were stormy when he looked at her. "No one can know."
"Why not? Don't the other Imagineers know about-" One look at his face, and she already knew the answer. "Oh."
He waved a hand in a shaky so-so gesture. "It's kind of complicated, who knows and who doesn't and why. Wayne knew that the less people that knew about it, the safer the technology would be, and the safer the Kingdom Keepers would be."
"Wow," Jess breathed out. Who knew that Jason, of all people, was so close to it all? And Wayne seemed to full-heartedly trust him – that just made her want to trust him more. She flashed back to that night in the Magic Kingdom, where she had not only trusted him immediately, but had wanted to.
Her phone buzzed on the table – a reminder for an upcoming group project due in her next class. Her teammates were relying on her. "Oh, no." Jess moaned. "I totally lost track of time! Now I'm going to be late for class."
Jess slung her bag over her shoulder, shoved her phone in her pocket, and grabbed her coffee. "This was great – really! We should do this again sometime. But I'm late for class right now, and you probably don't want to run with me, so bye!" Jess shoved herself out of her chair and began running out of the alley and onto Main Street, zig-zagging in between guests as she made a beeline towards the back of the park.
"Wait!"
She had already made it to the Hub when she heard Jason calling out from behind her. "Wait!"
Jess stopped running and turned around. Jason caught up in an instant, panting, trying to catch his breath.
"I need to know," he breathed. He took a rushed breath. "We'll do this again? For sure? I'm in town for a while." Hope was in his voice.
Jess nodded her head, taken aback by how eager he was to see her again. Her, of all people. She could feel her face growing warm. "Yeah. Of course."
It was like she'd promised him the world, the way his eyes lit up, the sun breaking through the overcast above, the sun shining through the gray in his eyes.
"I'll text you… or call you. Whatever you want."
"I'll answer this time."
And she did.
A/N: Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed, don't forget to review! I had this story in my drafts for like two years (whoops) and figured I should post it. In my opinion, Jason is a way better match for Jess than Tim. So, Jass? Jeson? Is this the first Jess/Jason fanfic? I need more of them. Even though he literally doesn't exist in the actual series and only the novella. Whatever. :)