The Transfer Request
Star Trek AU, alternate movie universe. Some Kirk bashing. Sorry, not sorry?
Space...the final frontier, these are the voyages of the star ship Metrocity. Its mission, to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new civilization and to annoy the hell out of Roxanne Ritchi.
Inspection day has always been the day she hated the most in her life as a Star Fleet Officer. That idiot intern Hal has been trying to hit on her all day (thank goodness he'll be kicked out soon), various departments trying to finagle for extra money without justifications. She paused a moment. Ah yes. There was one excuse everyone kept repeating. "If The Enterprise can get unlimited budget, why can't we?" At which point she had to sigh and grit her teeth, willing the anger to go away.
(She had met Kirk a couple of years ago. "A pleasure, I'm sure," he oozed. He craned his head upwards and smirked. "And you are ...?" Roxanne narrowed her eyes. "Roxanne Ritchi, Captain Warden's adjutant, SS Metropolis." A memory seem to seep in his eyes, and it twinkled in amusement. "You mean, one of the oldest ship still operating barely held together by duct tape and will power?" To this day she still had no idea she managed to stay composed until the end of the event. He obviously got to where he was through favouritism.) She swore, she will be captain. She will be captain, dammit!
She looked down her checklist. Science department. Seeing Megamind and Minion has always been the highlight of Inspection Day. They never ask for extraneous expenses, what they spent was always justified and-
The door opened to an empty room. Oh except for a padd with a silly drawing on its screen in the middle of the room. She rolled her eyes. Megamind. She pressed a button in the centre of the screen and was immediately geared with oxygen helmet, very long tethers and was transported out.
"You could scream all you wish Miss Ritchi and I'm afraid no one can hear you!" Megamind said, floating over her head.
"That joke stopped being funny five years ago Megamind.," Roxanne huffed fondly. She looked up and saw him and Minion in their robotic suit deftly tinkering with the outer shell of S.S Metropolis. Roxanne sighed. It has been a VERY long time since they got the budget to upgrade the ship. But somehow, the ship was still flying thanks to the Panit Arcadians who decided to stay with the ship even after Nero's attack.
"To what do I owe this pleasure of seeing you, Adjutant?" he asked, as he settled his position.
"Budget review. What do you need for next year, Megamind?"
He didn't even hesitate before saying, "Unlimited supplies of real cookies and milk."
"I'm serious here," she whined.
"Well so am I! Lactose, cocoa, glycerides, carbohydrate, complex glucose can combine to make something greater than the sum of its part? How are you Earthling doing that?"
She shook her head and smirked, "Well, that's something that you just gotta find out, " she whispered conspiratorially. She floated towards him, but before they could crash, she jumped over his shoulder and leveraged herself near Minion.
"What do you guys really need?"
The fish-inside-a-gorilla-suit had to think for a bit before answering,
"Squid jerky."
"Come on guys!" she yelled.
"We're serious! Serving in this ship is like a dream for us, Miss Ritchi!", Megamind bellowed.
"What's so amazing about this hunk of junk?" Roxanne asked, pointing at various flying metal plates. Oh jeez. She didn't think it was THIS bad.
"Never mind that, we are re-skinning the ship with Octiron. It lasts longer than earth carbon-metal."
Roxanne floated back down. "How are you doing that? Is that on budget? Please tell me you're not using your own money to do that." She took his hands to balance herself.
"No, no, look, " Megamind poured some sort of solution on the nearest space debris he could catch. The ice and dust solidified into a sturdy thin sheet. "See, octiron?"
"And this solution is from?"
"Filtered organic waste."
Roxanne's eyes widened.
"Impressed yet?", Megamind said, mischievously grinning.
(She remembered the first day she met him, in the sickbay, still bandaged and bleeding but he was helping Sibyl fixing various med scanners, cannibalizing equipments somehow managing all this despite the fires and explosion going all around them
"And you are?"
" Megamind, Science department, Panit Arcadian," he'd say, flustered, running to avoid another fire nearby.
Roxanne took the fire extinguisher and killed the fire near them. "Roxanne Ritchi, Captain's Adjutant. Earthling. Nice to meet you.")
"Always." she confessed, earnestly. He blushed. (and she always found his blush so endearing. He always blushed when she praised him. )
The moment was promptly ruined when her beeper loudly proclaimed its presence. She took it and read the message. Apparently captain wanted to see her in his office. "Aw man. I gotta cut this short, sorry guys."She clicked it off. "The Captain?" he guessed. She nodded. , "I don't think I can do unlimited cookies, but I'll get my mother to bake three batches oatmeal cookies?"
He nodded, smiling. "And squid jerky!", she called out, giving Minion a thumbs-up. The fish waved at her and she slowly floated up towards the Captain's quarter.
Roxanne made some mental calculations. So far the ship is on budget and if nothing goes bad in the next couple of days, S.S Metropolis will dock on earth for a few week's shore leave and she could get those two what they wanted. Maybe even take those two to her house in Michigan. Her mother had always liked those two. She pushed the door open rather forcefully. The servo has always been jammy. (she'd suspected Captain wanted it like that because he HATES being disturbed
"Careful there, Ritchi," Captain Warden said nonchalantly.
"Captain!" she said, voice breathless. "You called?"
"Have you read this?" he said, pulling a memo on his padd to the large screen in my office.
Dear Prof. Megamind,
We regret to hear your refusal, once again, to join with us, The Enterprise. Your salary and compensation will include a promotion as the supervisor to our science division, two months paid leave, and the chance to be part of our diplomatic team.
As always, our offer remains. We can't wait to work with one of our best.
Cordially,
Captain James T. Kirk.
That RAT BASTARD! How dare he! First insulting her ship and now this!
"He's a PROFESSOR?" was what she exclaimed instead. Captain Warden didn't move, "Yup, five degrees from Earth and four from his home planet. He won some awards too, two, three years ago."
"A-and..have you contacted Megamind about this, Sir?" she asked, her expression schooled carefully to form a neutral mask.
"Of course. But he's always rejected their offer."
Roxanne couldn't stop the words escaping her mouth next, "Why?"
Captain Warden only shrugged. "We got about six or seven crew member every year who get drafted to elsewhere, Ritchi, I'm just grateful he's never taken the offer."
The rest of the afternoon did not go very well at all. She'd seen Wayne from Security and that asshole was packing his things because he's requested a transfer. She'd ask him why (and that oblivious, idiotic, Plurit STILL called her Roxy, no matter how much she insisted she was to be called Roxanne) and of course the answer was
"I wanted to see so much of the universe, Roxy. I want to explore!"
"You can still do it here, Wayne."
"Yeah but, our mission is never exciting you know? We'd sit down and talk to the locals, eat their indigenous food, maybe yell a bit and that's it!"
"That's how it's supposed to go, Wayne!"
"Well, I kind of want it to be more adventurous! Far off places! Magic spells!"
"Let me guess, you're transferring to The Enterprise," she said, sarcastically.
Wayne's face immediately blanched. Roxanne's jaw dropped. "You-"
"Now, now hold on Roxy..."
"You son of a bitch!", she screamed, uselessly throwing things and punching Wayne's sturdy torso. "I hope you die a fucking redshirt! I hope you get eaten by unidentified species lurking around unexplored planets! I hope your balls fly off on their own accord and become a new fucking life form!"
"Technically my species has no prostate though..." he interrupted as she prepared to launch a guitar.
"GAH!"
"Roxy, I am doing this above board! " he said, dodging her attacks. "I even got you replacements! Look!" he said, pointing at a picture in his padd. It was a blonde girl in pigtails and an extremely large man with an even larger red beard and a man about the girl's age with one leg.
"You are fucking kidding right?", she said, stopping to take a breather.
"They came highly recommended, Roxy!"
"A blonde, a cripple and a fucking neckbeard, Wayne?!
"Cripple is a highly offensive term-"
Roxanne lunged at him.
Further visits and inspection didn't make her feel any better. Little, mousy Wonse from Linguistics is off to the Farragut. Susan is getting back on Earth to settle down with her beau (an insect-like alien nicknamed Dr. Cockcroach). Even crazy-eyed Edward D'eath from Engineering was getting the hell out of Metropolis. This ship wasn't that bad right. The lights in the corridor started blinking , as if to prove a point. Roxanne made a face. Ugh.
Then she noticed that she was no longer in the bridge area, brightly lit and shiny. This corridor has very spotty lighting, slightly dusty air and ...
Wasn't this Megamind and Minion's living quarters? The only crewmembers who never asked for anything, who'd happily do their work with no complaints? This was their living quarters? And he doesn't want to transfer?
"YOU!" she yelled as she entered Megamind's room.
"Roxanne!" he shouted in surprise. Immediately, he fell off his bed.
"Why Megamind?"
"Why what..?"
"You were offered to transfer to the Enterprise!"
"So?"
"So? So?! Why are you still here then?"
"Uh..., " he whimpered. She proceeded to close the distance between them. "They don't want Minion."
"That can't be your only reason!"
He was quiet but he averted his gaze.
"You've seen the Enterprise! It's sleek ! It's new! Top of the line equipment, pristine everything! They get all the press and glory! And you're here! Where..."
The fluorescent light in the room faded, leaving only the reading lights beside Megamind's bed "Yeah that!" she said pointing at the offending item.
"Why do you need to know?"
"I'm the captain's adjutant! It's my business to know !"
"Um that's a bit...personal," he said, cheeks blushing furiously.
"How? Megamind, I've seen you work miracles in that hazardous lab of yours! You deserve better than this!"
"Do you want me to leave?"
"What? No! But you could! And I-but I-" slowly, Roxanne's desire to fight seem to get sucked out of her. She groaned. "I don't know. I just-" Roxanne stopped. She didn't really pay attention to how she cornered him and now his face was inches from her.
"I..., " he started. His pupils were dilating, and making his eyes look disconcertingly so big. His cheeks slowly but surely reddened.
That was when it hit her. Suddenly she felt so dizzy Roxanne, you idiot, she cursed inwardly. He likes her. He's always liked her. He could've sent the report to her inbox but how else was he supposed to see her ? She's on the bridge constantly and him at the bottom of the ship. How has she not seen this? All their interactions, the banter, the flirting, she should have seen it coming. They both stared at each other. Roxanne blinked, she tried to keep her composure.
"-you...you like me, " she said her voice just above a whisper.
He didn't reply but his adam's apple bobbed nervously and he winced, embarrassed.
"H-how long?", she asked, sounding as if she was in a trance.
He looked towards the ceiling before saying, "Do you remember when Nero attacked the Federation spaceships?" She nodded dumbly. "I saw you...I saw you helping Captain Warden, shouting orders everywhere, carrying the wounded to the sickbay, cheering the junior officers on...and I thought...I thought, this is the person I'd like to follow for the rest of my life." His whole face turning purple as he explained.
Roxanne could feel the root of her hair turning red. The sincerity of it all it her like a runaway car and she was rendered speechless.
"I ...I guess I'll turn in the transfer papers tomorrow, " he said, reluctantly letting her go, walking towards the door.
Wait what? NO! That wasn't why she-, "Sit down, Megamind! ", she commanded. Startled, his body went on automatic and followed her instructions. "I'm not going to allow that smug pretty boy Kirk steal one of my men from under my nose. Is that clear?" Megamind nodded dumbly. "Furthermore, you haven't even asked me on a date! How are you gonna be sure you want to follow me forever?!"
"You mean you'd like to..."
Oh hell. Yes. Roxanne nodded so hard it felt like her head was going to fall. His face bloomed into the most beautiful smile she's ever seen.
"I'd be honoured, " he said softly, kissing her palm. Emboldened, he dared to look into her eyes, "What-what do you want to do then?"
"Uh." Roxanne didn't think this thoroughly. But she moved automatically, as if it was rehearsed, her palms touching his cheeks, and her lips closing in on his. Megamind was very startled but he'd soon settle in and slowly, but surely kissed her back.
"That...that's nice," he commented dumbly.
"Listen, " she said, breathless. "This ship is my home. One day I'm gonna make Captain-
"and we'll make this ship even better than the Enterprise," he interrupted softly. "I've got blueprints and a sustainable plan."
Roxanne was speechless.
He smiled and responded in kind. "We'll make them stay." His smile turned into a smirk, "Captain."
Roxanne smiled at him, hands descending down his collar and continued kissing him.
(Later, on his bed he showed her a hologram prototype. The night skies in his home planet, twinkling brightly, almost like their first kiss. She'd sighed contentedly in his shoulders before falling asleep in his room that evening. In the morning, she sent Mr. Spock an e-mail telling the Enterprise to suck it and stop trying to poach crew members off her ship . She'd also discreetly increased the maintenance budget making sure her new boyfriend's quarters get fixed. )
Twenty years on USS Metrocity became known to be the most loyal, competent ship with the lowest death rates in Star Fleet.
The End
Note: Yes, I DEFINITELY stole things and names off Discworld. Panit Arcadian is what determammfidd wrote as Megamind's species and Plurit as Wayne's in her most EXCELLENT Megamind/Dr. Who crossover story "War Stories" . The new security dudes are Hiccup, Astrid and Stoick.(who are from an alternate earth and are bringing the dragons with them)
Megamind's hologram prototype would later be developed into the holodeck. But he wasn't involved at that point, hence holodeck ALWAYS going wrong in Next Generation.