Hai! This is HomesickForHeaven writin'!
It's a depression-slight Germancest story so if you find it triggering please stop reading!
Disclaimers are known~ I don't own the song or the characters.
ＳＵＩＣＩＤＥ/ ＷＡＲＮＩＮ'
ＢＡＳＥＤ/ ＯＮ /ＴＨＥ /ＳＯＮＧ/ FAMOUS LAST WORDS/
【 Now I know
That I can't make you stay
But where's your heart?
But where's your heart?
But where's your... 】
"By my calculation, there's not enough pills in the box," the Prussian's cool voice spoke calmly over the telephone. He was dialing his only love; his brother. "I'll have to use the gun- I'm sorry for the mess I'll cause."
Ludwig could feel his heart instantly crack. His brother had been like this recently. On and off. Stable and unstable. Suicidal and unsuicidal.
Now he clearly was in a suicidal mode.
"Please Bruder," the German's voice was cracked already. "You know that it just eliminates of the chances of it ever getting better. Please stay,"
So cliched.
Gilbert responded with a soft laugh, but it was broken. "That's the hope I've been living on for a long time, and it hasn't gotten better."
【 And I know
There's nothing I can say
To change that part.
To change that part.
To change... 】
Ludwig immediately understood. Nothing he'd ever say would change his brother's mind.
Not now, and not ever.
"Please!" He was crying now, and oh god, why couldn't his older brother see how much he cared? He didn't want him to go.
The Prussian's voice came back like normal, calm and collected, not panicked. "Now, now, no crying over your boyfriend's -" he chided softly. "I'm not worth your tears."
"Yes you are!" Ludwig practically burst out. "Please don't do it!"
Suicide.
Death.
Two simple words, but neither had the courage to say it.
【 So many
Bright lights to cast a shadow,
But can I speak?
Well, is it hard understanding I'm incomplete?
A life that's so demanding, I get so weak.
A love that's so demanding, I can't speak. 】
Ludwig half shut his eyes, remembering all the good times he and his brother had, the times they had together. How Gilbert had always seemed so strong, and how he'd know just the joke for making him laugh.
No one ever in the world would be like him. Not a lover and a brother at the same time. The German couldn't even speak, all the power of him draining. He had nothing now. All he did was break into wild sobbing, clutching desperately at the sound.
His role model was going to go. He was nothing but a mere shadow to him. Gilbert was the strongest and most courageous man he'd ever met.
"Listen, Bruder," the Prussian spoke again, and the other listened attentively, relishing every word said, for it may be the man's last. "I'm going to hang up now. Thank you for being by my side until now. Goodbye," these words only made the German weep harder. "I love you."
The sentences were exchanged simultaneously and the line went dead.
【 I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone.
Honey, if you stay, you'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home. 】
The German continued crying long after the line was silenced, dimly aware of the cars around him and the furious honking, but he couldn't care less about it.
He wasn't afraid to live, he had never been. He was okay with being in the world alone, but he needed his brother.
'I have to be strong,' a painful memory of how Gilbert would always tell him this sentence rose, and he squashed it down, trying to start driving, his hands shaky.
Besides, there was a possibility the albino would fail, right? There was always that chance.
And if he did, Ludwig would forgive him and continue loving him, even more, to make sure this point would never ever be reached again.
But in his heart, he knew that the Prussian male was nothing but a homesick angel, and nothing would stop him going back home.
Around four thousand miles away, finding no one to stop him, a lifeless male hit the floor, blood seeping into the floor, a bullet embodied deep within his skull.