For Xirysa as part of the one-word prompt meme.
He'd always done everything by the book, followed the rules as they were meant to be followed. Duty to country comes before anything else, a knight must never let his emotions cloud his judgement. Ever since he was a young squire, he'd obeyed the rules without question.
The book had never told him what to do should the rules ever need to be questioned. Duty to country comes before anything else. What was one supposed to do when their country, or at least their canton, was falling under the sway of a power-hungry backstabber? When the true heir to the throne was of a race thought inferior by Lycians? When a person in authority was clearly in the wrong?
He'd scolded Sain many times for not taking the book seriously; my reputation as a stick in the mud is well earned, he thought ruefully. But as his thoughts turned back to the meeting with the spiteful Marquess Araphen several weeks ago, he wondered if this time Sain may have been right. He shouldn't have spoken out of turn, but the Marquess himself was out of line.
Lyndis. All this time he'd been obsessed with seeing her to Caelin, and until today hadn't realized he'd barely considered her feelings. Don't apologize, you've put my safety above all else, she'd said. I want to reach Caelin just as badly, to rescue my grandfather.
But even with that in mind, he couldn't help wondering if she'd be happier never having known she was the granddaughter of a Lycian lord. Even if she wanted to save her only living relative, she was still a plainswoman at heart, would she really be happy as the heir to a noble house?
What is the point of this, he wondered. Who am I doing this for? Lady Lyndis, Lord Hausen, all of Caelin? He didn't doubt that this needed to be done, but it was too strange having to fight against his own fellow soldiers. He'd eaten lunch with these people, trained with them, even exchanged a joke now and then.
A knight should never attack his fellow knights, but what did one do when his fellow knights were under the sway of a greedy tyrant? The true heir to the throne was a Sacaen through and through despite the Lycian blood in her veins, and Lycians looked down on the plainsfolk. But what did one do when a supposed "savage" was kinder, gentler and more worthy of the throne than the Marquess's own younger brother?
He glanced over at Sain, blissfully asleep. He didn't need to be thinking about these things, Kent thought enviously. For once, he wished he could disregard the rules as easily as his partner; not that he wanted to be silly and flirt with women rather than doing his job, but Sain didn't care that knights weren't supposed to let their feelings cloud their judgement. He defended Lady Lyndis without a second thought as to whether or not it was "right" or "proper".
He'd always done everything by the book, followed every rule. But what was the point of following the rules when you didn't know what was right anymore?