Chapter 1 - Reflections.
This had been quite a long working day with the usual number of malingerers who wanted to see the Doc only to complain about the weather and asking stupid questions on Martin's and Louisa's private liv e. The number of times Martin had to bark: 'That's none of your business ' were countless.
Now Martin was swiftly cleaning the kitchen after a delicious and nutritive meal of fish stew with a lot of vegetables and some new potatoes. 'Louisa is a remarkable woman', Martin thought. First, all she could cook were sausages with a lot of gravy and at best some broccoli as vegetables, but now, she understood perfectly what a healthy meal should include. Especially when she discovered that it made her loose the extra kilograms from her pregnancy, she really got a hang of it. Nowadays, her healthy diet even permitted her to take some of her much loved chocolate digestives every now and then. And Martin found her body was even more beautiful than before she has been giving birth to their adorable son.
Louisa was taking care of James' bath ritual and the giggles and laughs that Martin could even hear from downstairs, made him understand that they wouldn't be ready for some time. Martin smiled inwardly and settled on the couch for a moment of relaxation and reflection.
Just after having locked the young surgeon in the cupboard and just before operating Louisa, Martin had promised Louisa that he wanted to change and he asked her to help her. He meant to say that he needed help with being a good husband and a good father. The next day, when Martin arrived at the hospital, his emotions got hold of him. Of course no one could read it from his face, since years of holding back his emotions had made an expert in it, but at the sight of his beautiful wife, Martin trembled and wasn't able to speak. 'We can't go on like this Martin'.. 'I know', he croaked. 'Thank you for looking after me Martin' 'Hmm, you are my patient and you're my wife'. Then he left the room …
Ten minutes later he reentered the room, a huge bouquet of flowers in his arms. 'Louisa, he said, life is too short to waste it, don't you agree? So I really want to change and I really need your help. You're such a wonderful mother to James and I can't bear to be without you both. I love you Louisa and I love James. You know , Aunt Ruth gave me a number of a person who can help me, but I need your help too, my love.. Tears were glistering in his eyes. Louisa also cried and gestured Martin to come closer. 'I know you love me Martin and of course I will help you. I also need help, you know, to learn not to run away from the one I love so deeply… Oh I hate this sling.. I cannot even put my arms around you, come closer big guy and kiss me '.
Since then, Martin had visited the psychiatrist Ruth advised him to see. Mr. Johnson was well known for his job and although Martin was rather reluctant to give any answers on questions that brought back painful memories, Mr. Johnson soon discovered what was the best way to retrieve information from his client. It wasn't long before he understood what a bad luck Martin had had with Margaret and Christopher as his selfish abusing parents. 'Dr Ellingham', Mr. Johnson said, 'Should you be a ten year old telling me these horrible things, I would have placed your parents under supervision and I most certainly would have taken action to send you somewhere else. Most probably with your aunt Joan and uncle Phil. Ruth told me that your aunt Joan was really fond of you. I bet it wouldn't have cost me much to convince them to let you stay with them in Portwenn. But now that's too late, of course, so I need to help you in another way. You are a clever man, so I suppose you understand that even for standards the seventies, the way your parents really ignored and even abused you was unacceptable. I don't think you have read the Harry Potter sequel, have you? Locking a young boy in a closet under the stairs… Insane! I recall from what you told me, that you and Louisa both had a woeful youth. Yours has turned you in a very introvert and sequestered person and you don't let anybody come close to you. Even literally: your grumpy approach to anyone who dares coming near to you, makes them turn around immediately and leave you alone. And then there is Louisa, who, as I understand from what you told me, has also had lots of problems in the past. Her mum running away when she was eight, her dad gambling and getting in trouble all the time. No wonder she has the tendency to run away from everybody, just to be sure that she is not the one left behind! Have you considered that Louisa has shown a lot of courage, by always supporting you, by believing in the fact that under this thick crust of grumpiness, there hides a very sensitive caring and loving man?' Martin swallowed hard when Mr. Johnson said this, because he had never realized this. He simply didn't know because he always strode away in such situations, leaving Louisa behind with the damage of his grumpiness and rude behaviour. 'Dr. Ellingham, Mr. Johnson said, 'I don't need to tell you that there is no simple cure for this situation. I can only give you some ideas that might help you both. All Louisa seems to ask for is being treated as a grown-up woman that can take her own decisions. On the other hand, she also longs to be loved and cherished and trusted, things she never could rely on in the past. Try to be a bit more open, express your feelings, share your mutual doubts, anxiety, but also share your moments of joy and love. Then she will lose the urge to flee and starts to feel confident about the future…'.
Distracted by tese thoughts, Martin picked up his favourite medical journals . A new one just arrived with today's mail. As he usually did, he first scanned it rapidly to find out what the most interesting articles are. Suddenly his eyes captured an announcement: April 14 to 16, Medical congress in Amsterdam , how to deal with agoraphobia, mysophobia, claustrophobia, haemophobia in your practice, subscribe now ! Quickly Martin read the program of the convention and then got an idea.
to be continued