Tears
ElectricCircuslover: Just a quick short story I made. Took me less than 15 minutes to whip up. I have a lot going through my head. For those who are not on DeviantArt, won't know that I've lost my family. My brother and sister seem to be in foster care or something. However, my little brother may end up in my father's hands if the United States can find him or something. I don't know how it's going to work, but my father is a VERY bad man. My mother may end up going to jail and my step-dad will probally get the death penalty for almost shooting me in the head. And there is so much I can say, but it all feels hopeless to me. I just have a lot on my mind and I'm going to go back on my anti-depressants to help with my problem, which seems to be getting out of hand. I'm trying to catch up on some things. For the past month or so, I haven't been in the mood to write or anything. I had no energy, lack of motivation, and I have too many emotions inside me to even focus on. So yeah. I can't think of what to say now. Well, I'll try to be more productive and such. Maybe the medicine will help me write more or even have more possitive stories too. I don't know. I have too much worry about at the moment.
"Gone. Everything I've ever dreamed of is gone. The love I once felt is no longer with me as I ascended on my Ship of Despair. I think about the future I once dreamed of. Memories of the past that continue to plague my pitiful mind. Last, torture is what I go through in my present in hopes to relieve those memories of the past, and slay the dreams I had at one time for my future.
My past has altered my future even worse, my body and appearance. No longer do I look cute and cuddly, but a monster with spikes and scales. Mutation has altered my body and the Shadow they knew has died in a shell of darkness. Pain is all I feel. So much pain, and yet, no cure or band aid to fix it. I'm a monster. Blood flows out of my eyes, instead of the tears that have taken away from me. BURN IT ALL TO THE GROUND. I WANT TO BURN IT ALL DOWN TO THE GROUND. But…I can't. I can't do it. Thoughts of my mother…My mother. I weep for her. Taken out of my life with myself imprisoned in this Hell I've taken residence to. I can't go back. More blood leaks from my eyes as I cry for her. My tears. Those bloody tears that have taken over. There's no point in changing what I am now. The tears will always flow out of my eyes. My heart weeps in the darkness and pain the new government established in my life. Such a loss. I wish I could've been like my family. I wish a lot of things, but the tears will always come out of my eyes. Those blood droplets that hit my bed as I weep, looking at a photo of my mother and I hugging when I was two years old.
I miss being hugged. I miss being loved. And I miss having those dreams of a better future. Love turned its back on me, as well the family I once had. I'm alone with my tears flowing out of my eyes, in a life of exile of my own happiness. It's all gone…Gone into the light I wish to seek. I wanted a lot of things, but I wanted too much. She loved me and I turned my back on her is what I feel. Tears…Tears…They're all flowing my eyes. A puddle of blood now stands at the foot of my bed.
Alone…I'm so alone…Just me and my tears. My friends…Family….My own self…Replaced in a form of tears and memories. Do they don't see the real me. They'll never put it behind them when they think of bad things in their life. My mind is changing now. I'm changing…But yet…The tears stay the same. I've paid a heavy price for doing the things that have lead me to the person I am now. I'm alone now, but yet…All the Galaxies have called me 'infamous' and labeled me 'The Butcher.' Do they know who get's butchered? Me. Not those pathetic criminals that have 'lives' of their own. They don't value life until they finally realize that they've lost it by my clutches. Their tears are so pleasing to see. I smell the enticing smell of fear emitting from their bodies as they know Death will visit them soon.
If I wasn't so angry and spiteful of life, I would let some of them off my ship. But, they're animals to me. All of them are merciless animals that need to be put down. You would think crime would plummet by 'The Butcher' but I'm so wrong. To let them live is a crime itself in my book. So sad to see society tear itself apart. I feel I've failed at that too. More of my tears are spilled on this fact.
I wish you were here with me mom. To cry over your shoulder is what I've desired for almost six years. You saw through me…Even when I hid myself in a angry mask. When I think harder about myself…I see a little boy crying in the dark shadow of a monster. So many thoughts…So many feelings…So many voices surrounding me. I can't get away from it all. I miss you mom. I miss you so much. More of my tears stream out as I say this. Tears for my family, friends, and most of all, my mother. I want to be in your arms again. I love you. I love you so damn much. I have unlimited power…But yet…My weakness is my own self and the ability to express my feelings. Show the true me, the real me, and not the shell of darkness and pain that have surrounded my heart. Still…The tears fall. I can't do it. I feel weak to fight my real problem and fix this mess I've gotten myself into. I can do is cry as I hug this picture of you…"