The Shadowbroker is just a role I play. In reality, I am a scientist.
Meld. Function: verb. Etymology: blend of melt and weld.
To merge. To join together.
The benefits of regular mating melds include better blood circulation, better metabolism, longer levity and better generell wellness. We, the asari race, are social creatures made for melding. I can tell you the exact neurons that are activated during a mating meld and I can describe how evolution has led us to this point. I am not a romantic. I have never been.
I told myself that mating was simply scientific and that science gave me plenty of reasons to abstain for as long as I did. I was naively scared of accidental pregnancy. But in reality I was scared of the intimacy too. The number one thing I was completely convinced of was the fact that mapping somebody's dna without them knowing was not ethical. It is never ethical or moral.
It didn't matter if she's a soldier with a dangerous profession. It didn't matter that the human I love might die. And it was not an invitation that she was sucking at my neck and stretching me with her fingers. It was not an invitation that she was groaning my name and saying that she loved me. It was not even an invitation that she had asked me to bond with her.
My pregnancy is bittersweet. I cannot tell her. I cannot tell her what I have done. I feel disgusted with my crime. It feels like I violated her. I didn't mean to do it, I got carried away. She erased any sense in this scientist. I broke and pulled her being into myself. Screw science. Fuck facts. It turns out you cannot quantify and theorise pleasure, intimacy and love.